Do you use the Ladies Toilets when you go out dressed Femme?

I have often wondered if any of you use the Ladies toilets when you go outside dressed Femme.

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  • Yes! of course i use the Ladies Toilets!
  • No! i use the Mens Toilets.
  • I wait until i get home.
  • I have never gone outdoors so i am unsure,
  • I use the Mens for now but i will eventually use the Ladies Toilets.
  • Other ( please specify below )
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    • #362683
      Jemma Schumpert
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      Until recently, it has been “dangerous” to use the mens room as myself, and illegal to use the ladies room as either self.  So whenever I went out I made sure not to need a toilet, or to be aware of where the nearest isolated, or unisex toilets were.

      Now that it is legal, I will be using the mens when dressed as a man and the ladies when en-femme.  I also intend to start shopping en-femme locally so that I can better judge sizes and appearance instead of trying to hide and sneak dresses into the mens changing rooms.  In fact, today, I intend to make  my first shopping trip locally as Jemma and insist on using the appropriate changing rooms.

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    • #357372
      Rebecca Duncan
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      Very interesting Peggy Sue. I’ve always wondered what the big deal was and why were didn’t have unisex public bathrooms here in the U.S.

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    • #352845
      Peggy Sue Williams
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      IMHO, our American culture makes it a big deal.  During my Navy active duty years, I traveled extensively throughout Asia and lived for years in Japan.  Most of the time there is no such thing as a male or female toilet.  Men and women use the same toilet facilities.  It is never a problem and no one gives it a second thought, except for the occasional foreigner, who might be caught off guard as to what local customs are.

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    • #352822
      patty williams
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      HI Girls ,

      I know this is an older topic but always a pertinent one for us.

      I was out at a mall for the first en femme last week and I was worried about using the bathroom.

      I didn’t have to go but I shopped at a target as I think they have a family bathroom.

       

      On a side note I don’t know why it is such a big deal.

      I do but I don’t.

      If its a single bathroom and the ladies has a line and my wife has to go bad she will go in the mens and have me watch the door or just lock it.LOL

      Patty

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    • #348403
      Amy Myers
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      Harietta, I do carry a pad in my purse, and my wife saw it, and asked whatever on Earth do you have that for? Being an out of work comedienne, I said, well you know in case “that time” comes on suddenly, she was of course not amused, as it was her pad I had!

      Then I explained the real reason, just so could help another lady out if she was in need!

      I also bought some alcohol wipes, as one time a young lady was scrubbing here hand very hard to try to get some sticky stuff off of her hand. She was working on putting a store display together for Christmas, and had got some pine sap on her, and was trying to get clean. Sadly, I could not help her out, but went and bought some in case something like this ever happened again.

      Amy

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    • #347525
      T.J. Byron
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      When out dressed en femme, I act like who I look like…

      All of us ladies use the ” Ladies Room”. It would look really stupid for a lady to be in the men’ s toilet…and visa versa.

      Later…Dr. T.J.

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    • #347468
      anne-marie
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      I always look for a gender neutral toilet but if one of these isn’t available and I really really needed to go, it would have to be the ladies room.

      Take care girls

      Anne-Marie

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    • #343355
      Harietta
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      I have never used a mens’ john dressed as a woman. In he beginning I figured that men punched harder.

      Harietta has never had any problem using the proper loo for a lady. She’s had some compliments. Some clearly because women did not “clock” me and others because they are impressed with my look.

      Consider that there is actually more privacy in a ladies’ privy.

      Tip: pack a tampon or sanitary pad in your purse….I have been asked…twice and have nothing to offer. I just shrugged.

      And there is almost no pee on the floor or the seats!

       

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    • #343256
      Alison Anderson
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      If there is a unisex or family bathroom, I might try for that first.  But if presenting as female, and I have to go, I will use the ladies room.

      If I’m out for a long time, I sometimes try be a bit dehydrated so I don’t need to use the toilet as much.

      However, I do tell people that there was this one time that I used the men’s room while dressed as a woman.

      I was driving home en femme after dropping my daughter off at college.  It was about a 10-11 hour drive (including stops to stretch, eat, and yes, use the toilet).  At the last rest stop, I got out to stretch and use the rest room.  This is a very small stop along the interstate, with some vending machines and two bathrooms only, along with some place where you could walk around outside.

      I quickly went inside, and I heard a male attendant cleaning the bathroom.  I had to go badly, so I quickly went into the room marked ladies, and quickly got into the stall and did my business.  But sitting there I asked myself, isn’t this the men’s room?  I had used this rest room in the past, and it dawned on me from the location that this is where the men’s room should have been.  When going out, sure enough I saw urinals.

      I realized that there was only a single male attendant, and that he needed to clean the ladies room as well.  So what happened was he temporarily switched the men’s and ladies rest rooms so he could clean the ladies room.  I came in while he was working in the ladies (or temporary mens) room and so used the mens (which was temporarily a ladies) room.

      So it really wasn’t unusual that I used the mens room while dressed.  But the opening line does get attention and bring out people’s curiosity, allowing  me to tell the story.

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    • #343181
      Peggy Sue Williams
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      This topic comes up often in the support group I am a member of (Sigma Epsilon/Tri-ESS), mostly from new girls just joining the group.

      The experience of our group is if you are presenting as a female, then you use the ladies room but with certain rules which have been learned from long experience.

      1. Try to be confident-looking, you are not doing anything wrong.  Looking nervous invites closer scrutiny.

      2. When in the stall, ensure your feet are pointing outward.  Ladies sit, so their feet point outward, unlike a guy who stands facing the commode.

      3. Do not stare at women in the ladies room.

      4. Do not speak with women in the ladies room, unless spoken to.  Then be brief.

      5. Do not linger in the ladies room, touch up lipstick, check hair, adjust clothing/straps, then get going on your way.

      I cannot recall the last time I had an issue with anyone.  Maybe once many years ago, a woman wanted to know if I was a man.  If I recall, I told her I was a woman today, just wanting to pee like any other woman.  She seemed satisfied.  I employed the tactic of answering her but starting to walk away at the same time.  Nonverbal language for “I am too busy to speak with you.”

      I often communicate with people out in the public, about cross dressing, but I never do it in or near the ladies room.

      I have had rent-a-cops in malls look at me.  I just look back and smile at them.  Many of them are old overweight guys and may be just interested in big ladies.  Remember, we are not doing anything illegal by using the female toilet facilities.

      I think three or four years ago North Carolina passed a law that one had to use the bathroom which conformed to your birth sex.  If I recall, a couple of our support group girls were from NC, an they said the law was just being ignored, and it was never enforced.

      My state, Georgia, had one state legislator propose a similar law, and he was laughed at by almost everyone, plus he lost reelection.  Now we have a female legislator who is trying to pass several anti-transgender laws, but she is making zero progress and is viewed as a hateful person.

       

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    • #343163
      Paula Here
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      On my second outing as Paula, I was at a large shopping mall. I had been there for some time, had eaten dinner in the food court. I felt the need to use the facilities.

      I walked for a bit to see if I could spot a gender neutral washroom. no luck.  I went to the ladies, No line, and empty stall.  While in the stall many women came in.  I finished up, exited the stall walked to the sink washed my hands, and exited without incident.  I was terrified the entire time.

      I did peel the nail off my thumb while pulling my jeans down, and had to find help to fix my nails.

      I am not sure how i will act next time out.

       

      Paula

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    • #343119
      Laura Lovett
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      Hi Fiona

      Well there’s no way on earth I’m going to set foot into the gents in a dress, wig and heels!

      The rule is to always use the facilities appropriate to your appearance.

      The ladies almost always has a picture of a person in a dress.

      Kinda begs a question, when the gents has a picture of a person in trousers… rather sexist and inherently untrue reinforcement of gender stereotypes. 😏

      Love Laura

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    • #343083
      Isabel
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      Hey Girls,

      Interesting topic.  I live in Northern Ireland, where we LGBT rights and treatment are somewhat lagging behind the rest of the UK.  It’s not illegal, but you could get into a lot of bother if caught.  At the moment I tend to use the disabled toilet if there is one to avoid any difficulties.  I have a visual impairment, so can get away with that.  Once I improve my make-up skills, I will venture into the Ladies.

      Hugs,

      Isabel

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    • #251123
      Paula1
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      always the ladies when dressed, Its much safer

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    • #248696
      Michelle Wilmington
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      My 1st choice would be a private unisex or family bathroom, but failing that, yes I’d use the ladies room when presenting myself as a woman.

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      • #343157
        Bettylou Cox
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        Michelle,

        The situation hasn’t happened for me, yet – but my answer would be the same as yours.

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    • #248639
      Rhonda Jones
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      The first time i went out en feminine i needed to use a public toilet , bath room to you girls .

      Here in New Zealand we have what  are called uni sex toilets , that means any one can use them . they are a single cubicle , and are completely private .

      And yes , i was a good girl .

      Rhonda .

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      • #343311
        Rhonda Jones
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        Thank you T J  .I rember your name .Also i have just had a look at your profile and pictures  .

        I am quite impressed with you .

        Rhonda .

    • #248614
      JessicaCross Johnson
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      I always use the one that is aproiate to the way I’m dressed at the time, when I first went out en femme I was a Mexican eatery and went into the boys room and although there was no one else in there I felt really out of place. Ever since then I use the ladies when I am out en femme and feel much more comfortable when I’m in there.

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    • #247968
      Meghan
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      I have never had to use the facility when outdoors when dressed enfem.  I do use the ladies or non gender when I am at an event or something and dressed enfem.  But it has always been inside a building.  It hard to drop trow while tucked, so the local tree is safe.

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    • #247227
      Amy Myers
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      This is a cautious issue, but when enfemme, it would be more of an attention getter if one were to use the Men’s, instead of the Ladies.

      Manners and minimal voice use, and as Olivia mentioned, careful if there’s kids around.

      My last time at the mall, and I had to use the ladies, I had an interesting experience. Now my real age is 66, and most don’t take me for that, and then with makeup, I likely look 50 something. So, this young woman, mid 20’s perhaps started talking to me, as she was washing her hand vigoursly. She was working on a store display, and got some pine sap on her, and was having trouble getting it off. Sadly, I didn’t have anything to help her with. I’m thinking that she was taking me for a Mother figure, and I have a daughter about that age.

      A bit scary, as I certainly didn’t want to be made, as I was on my way out at the time, but it all seemed to go well. She thanked me, and wished me a Good Day.

      Amy

       

    • #247179
      Olivia Livin
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      I use the gender neutral or family bathroom whenever possible and if not, the ladies….with caution. I will watch to ensure no minors have entered or ask my gf to check for me. I believe respect is earned and not demanded and I also respect the right of parents and their children to feel safe. I am not a deviant and believe the same of most of the ladies here that I know, but we all know that they do exist in society. The parents who’s kids are using those bathrooms do NOT know your intentions and may assume the worst. As a cautious parent and grandparent who takes them out, if I can tell you’re a man, you’re not going in the ladies room while they are there. Please tread carefully and on the side of caution ladies.

       

    • #247164
      Michelle
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      Usually the mall/shopping centers, etc. have a room for families for a  parent of the other gender can either change a baby or help a toddler.  I try to use them.  Legal issue are too great for the ladies room and I would not be comfortable going into a men’s room dress en femme.  But I try not to use public restrooms at all and attempt to avoid them for my home instead.

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    • #247150
      Samantha Roarke
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      This is a very simple yes.

      Would a guy use the girls bathroom, or a girl use a guys bathroom in a “normal” setting? No.

      So you, presenting as a female (real or not) should 100% use the bathroom labeled for said gender.

      With this being said, use your manners and be and act lady like.

      Here are some helpful hints:

      1. Sit to pee, would a girl face the bowl and aim for it? No, so sit you butt down!

      2. Act like you’re suppose to be there, because you are!

      3. Don’t peep or gawk…Creeper!

      4. If you are NOT alone, comment on their outfit, shoes, purse….Small talk.

      5. I always bring a tampon in my purse…it’s not for you silly! But the poor girl in need of a life saver! Be that wing-girl, she will NEVER forget you!

      6. Always, do a once over in the mirror. Wig, lipstick, overall look check. Check yourself out, it’s okay! Just a no judgement reset before you go back into the wild!

      Hope this helps you!

      -SR-

    • #247130
      Jannie Murry
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      I went to a outlet mall fully dressed en femme that was futher away from where I was used to shopping. Ordinarily I wouldn’t be that far away from my home and I could wait until I get home to use the toilet. However this time I knew that I couldn’t wait until I got home and I needed to relieve myself I found the food court and saw a sign that said Ladies Room. Holding my head high I walked down the hallway and saw that there wasn’t a door just a open doorway that led into the ladies room. I stepped into the room and saw two rows of stalls some open and some occupied I went into a open stall where I relieved myself then went to where the sinks were where I washed my hands and touched up my makeup This was the first time I had ever used a Ladies Room and it was such a beautiful experience for me that I always use a Ladies Room when I have the need to Thank you for letting me tell my experience

       

    • #247012
      Emily Alt
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      I will always use the ladies toilet or a unisex toilet when presenting as female.  It just makes sense and is the safest option.  Being discovered in the men’s toilet by a homophobe/transphobe could be quite dangerous.  Of course common sense should always prevail.  Be aware of your environment and avoid places you’re likely to be unwelcomed.

      Emily

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    • #246985
      Brianna 2 Heels
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      The 1st time I went out as Brianna I used the men’s room and after I came out my girlfriends told me that I used the wrong bathroom and next time let them know when I needed to go and they would go with me to the ladies room. Awesome friends!

    • #246845
      MacKenzie Alexandra
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      As I usually present as a man regardless what I am wearing, I generally use the men’s restroom.  This has been awkward if I need to wait for a stall which I use exclusively if I am wearing a dress or skirt.  I do, however, use the women’s restroom if I am presenting as a woman.  I have never had an issue using either as above.  In either case, I take care of business and exit.  As someone else mention, I will elect to use a family or unisex bathroom, if available, for inconvenience.

      MacKenzie Alexandra

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    • #246829
      Anne Preuss
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      I couldn’t imagine using the men’s when I “get my Anne on”. 🙂

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    • #246803
      Amber Martinez
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      When I’m out shopping as amber.with my woman coworker or my new woman friend my landlady.i always use womens room just go in do my business and go on from there.just be like all the woman in there

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    • #246672
      Breanna Leigh
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      Good Pole Fiona!!

      Ahh heck, I just pull what’s left of it out and pee on the floor!!!  LoL

      Of course I use the ladie’s restroom! I would never consider using the mens!! However, where I live, many of the newer and larger establishments are now providing us with Unisex Restrooms, which I opt for when available….

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    • #246559
      Alice Underwire
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      Hi Fiona,

      of couse when wearing ladies attire I use the Ladies room.

      Alice

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    • #246551
      Anonymous
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      I wouldn’t even consider the gents if I’m femmed up – always use the facilities appropriate to your appearance.

      Love Laura

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    • #246539
      Patty Phose
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      When I’m out as Patty, I always use the ladies toilets. I don’t make a big thing about it or try to time when I go in. I just go in, go in a stall do what I went in there for and leave.

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    • #246518
      T.J. Byron
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      I use Both, men ‘s and  lady ‘s  toiletries.

      Dr. T.J.

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    • #246466
      Krista
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      Hi Fiona, I’m assuming you are asking “When dressed en femme which toilet do you use?”  So I answered that I use the Ladies Toilet when fully in female mode.  But when in male wear, I use the men’s toilet – otherwise I’d definitely be causing a stir.

      And another BUT, there has been times when I was dressed in male mode and going into the men’s toilet when I’ve been stopped and told that I’m going into the wrong toilet (at Costco, at hotels, at restaurants) – and that I should be using the ladies toilet.  I guess I do a good job in passing (and without any makeup) even while dressed in male wear.  It does drive my SO crazy that I’m so often mistaken for female.

      Hugs, Krista

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      • #246494
        Fiona-Ann Moss
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        Uggghh! a blonde moment!! sorry Krista! Yes, i have now edited the poll to say when you are dressed Femme.

        Thanks for pointing that out, omg!! i’m going mad!! **roars laughing**!!

        Fiona xxx

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    • #246454
      T.J. Byron
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      I use Both, men ‘s and  lady ‘s  toiletries.

       

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