Do you want to be buried in male drab, underdressed, or fully crossdressed?

This poll asks how you want to be buried.

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  • In my male clothes
  • Underdressed, with full feminine lingerie
  • Fully crossdressed as a woman
  • Other

Tagged: 

  • Creator
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  • #679310
    Holly Morris
    Participant
    Registered On: April 15, 2022
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    Hi ladies!

    Today’s poll is a bit more somber, but it’s one that I’m sure many of us have given at least some thought to…

    Many of us here on CDH have come out of the closet, or at least more fully out of the closet later in our lives. Of course, that means that we have less time to be able to fully express the woman within. And depending on how far out of the closet we’ve actually stepped, we may have wives and family who know about our female side, friends and neighbors, even co-workers. But then again, although we may be out of the closet, we may not be that far out. Or even if we are, do we want the world to know about this part of us?

    Because many of us are older, the reality that we’re not going to be here forever begins to intrude, and we have to take steps to start planning for the eventuality that every human being has in common — our passing. And when that occurs, how do we want to be buried and remembered?

    The truth is, when we’re long gone, it really doesn’t matter (to us at least) how we’re remembered. But to our families and friends it does. Do we want people to remember us as a man? As a crossdresser? As a transgender woman? For those of us who have transitioned already, this may not be an issue, but for the rest of us, this is a question that may come to mind (or at least, to my mind), because funeral planning is something that all of us have to consider as we age.

    So of course, that got me to wondering…

    When you die, do you want to be buried in your male clothes (which often are not the clothes that expressed who you really feel you are), underdressed (maybe your legs are shaved, wearing panties, bra, garter and stocking, etc., which many of us have done for years or decades), or do you want to be fully dressed and made up as your female self? This is also an especially interesting mental exercise for those who may be inclined to have an open casket funeral.

    I’m also not going to get into the religious implications that surround the question, because those could be huge.

    So…, let me know your thoughts.

    Hugs,

    Holly

Viewing 34 reply threads
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    • #681596
      Amy Catrelle
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2022
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      I want to be catapulted into the Sun dressed as a Valkyrie.

       

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #681737
        Davina
        Duchess - Annual
        Registered On: April 15, 2022
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        Love it!!!

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #680349
      Raquel Smith
      Lady
      Registered On: August 26, 2021
      Topics: 19
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      In the words of the late, great John Prine (check it out on YouTube, hilarious song)

      Woke up this morning
      Put on my slippers
      Walked in the kitchen and died
      And oh what a feeling!
      When my soul went through the ceiling
      And on up into heaven I did ride
      When I got there they did say
      John, it happened this way
      You slipped upon the floor
      And hit your head
      And all the angels say
      Just before you passed away
      These were the very last words
      That you said

      Please don’t bury me
      Down in the cold cold ground
      No, I’d druther have ’em cut me up
      And pass me all around
      Throw my brain in a hurricane
      And the blind can have my eyes
      And the deaf can take both of my ears
      If they don’t mind the size

      Give my stomach to Milwaukee
      If they run out of beer
      Put my socks in a cedar box
      Just get ’em out of here
      Venus de Milo can have my arms
      Look out! I’ve got your nose
      Sell my heart to the Junkman
      And give my love to Rose

      But please don’t bury me
      Down in that cold, cold ground
      No, I’d druther have ’em cut me up
      And pass me all around
      Throw my brain in a hurricane
      And the blind can have my eyes
      And the deaf can take both of my ears
      If they don’t mind the size

      Give my feet to the footloose
      Careless, fancy free
      Give my knees to the needy
      Don’t pull that stuff on me
      Hand me down my walking cane
      It’s a sin to tell a lie
      Send my mouth way down south
      And kiss my ass goodbye

      But please don’t bury me
      Down in that cold cold ground
      No, I’d druther have ’em cut me up
      And pass me all around
      Throw my brain in a hurricane
      And the blind can have my eyes
      And the deaf can take both of my ears
      If they don’t mind the size

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #680329
      Davina
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: April 15, 2022
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      A sobering topic but pertinent for those of us in our older ages. I will be cremated so it sill not be a real issue for me.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #680133
      BillieJay
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: September 21, 2018
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      it’s none of my darned business, and I won’t care by then…

      whatever my wife and descendents want is what should be done…

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #680127
      Judy Schwartz
      Lady
      Registered On: October 7, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 1
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      Bury me in boy mode.  Somebody is going to have to peek into the coffin to make sure they’re planting the right person.  I  won’t know the difference anyway; why cause embarrassment to my family?

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #679905
      Camryn Occasionnel
      Duchess
      Registered On: December 10, 2018
      Topics: 3
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      Current plan is to be buried in an urn (cremated). No wake, no funeral. So how I’m dressed when I’m buried does not apply here.

      How I’m dressed when I die, now that’s a whole ‘nother question, beyond the scope of this poll.

      I do hope, however, that good fortune and a favorable genome will allow me a few more years of membership here at CDH!

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679816
      Mary Priscilla
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: May 23, 2020
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      I voted for “fully dressed,” but have to add one significant caveat. I plan to be cremated, so had best leave my jewelry behind.

      Cheers!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #679706
      Greta La Folle
      Lady
      Registered On: August 6, 2022
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      With the hope that that day will arrive as late as possible, I have no complicated ideas to implement; my only wish is to be cremated naked, as I was born naked.
      My ashes must be scattered on the white beach of Boracay (Philippines), Italy that did not respect me when I was alive does not deserve my stay when I am no longer aliveness!

      Greta 💐

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    • #679691
      Jane Mansfield
      Lady
      Registered On: December 27, 2020
      Topics: 4
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      Hello Holly, a great question to reflect on. I told my wife about this. She then said how do you want to look when the time comes. I said all female. This did not surprise her.
      This is not usually a topic that comes up, however we are now closer to passing over.
      My wife and I are on the same page.
      Thankyou.
      Jane

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679673
      Michelle Trott
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 7, 2021
      Topics: 1
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      I don’t really want to de buried at all.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679670
      Gail Rich
      Lady
      Registered On: October 11, 2017
      Topics: 5
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      Once I’m dead, it will not matter.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679531
      Carolyn Kay
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: August 25, 2016
      Topics: 21
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      I am going to be buried in my make clothing, why would I want to shock all my friends and family at that point. If I am not able to tell them while I am alive, then drab it is. Besides, I am going to be cremated, why would I want to destroy a beautiful outfit. My wife  knows about me and tries to accept, I have told her to donate all of my femme things to a charity. Perhaps another CD will benefit, so if you ever see about 40 pairs of size 13w shoes at a charity store, they were mine, lol.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679510
      karley delaware
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: October 23, 2017
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      I am the major care-giver to my SO.   There are no reliable relatives or friends.    Hopefully for her sake, she  will preceed me to the Great Cosmos .     I will most likely die alone………..hopefully while fully dressed as Karley ……….I really do not care what people will think  seeing me crossdressed.  If there is a great world ending calamity………Hopefully…SO will be long gone before hand.    I will face it as karley……..the pretty girl ……..playing with her dogs ……….total girl …………as people are rushing around thinking they can somehow save themselves …………………………..k

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679482
      Kelly Wood
      Lady
      Registered On: March 16, 2022
      Topics: 4
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      i want to be buried with all my panties it will be a big hole

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679464
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness
      Registered On: August 27, 2017
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      My topic last year was close to this

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/who-will-inherit-your-cd-wardobe/

      Caty.

       

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679459
      Susan Talbot
      Lady
      Registered On: June 28, 2022
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      I guess in my drab clothes.  I came into this world as a male and I will take my dirt nap as a male. My wife will donate all of Susan’s clothes and wigs.

      Susan

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      • #680347
        Raquel Smith
        Lady
        Registered On: August 26, 2021
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        Susan, I’d assumed you came into this world naked, like the rest of us.  😆

    • #679443
      Rayna Carlian
      Duchess
      Registered On: March 4, 2020
      Topics: 3
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      Hoping that this will be a long way off…

      I plan to be cremated. I don’t know if they dress you for that.

      My wife is also not big on the open casket thing and likely won’t have that.

      If there was a “Thing” for my departing, I trust her to dress me up however she wants to remember seeing me last. I’ll be gone, so, it’s more for her than me.

      Now go have some fun!!

      xoxo

      Rayna

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679434
      Marianne
      Ambassador
      Registered On: May 20, 2017
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      I hope that the day I die,  I will legally be a woman and thus be dressed  accordingly. More specific I want to be buried in the first dress I sewed for myself. A floor length bronze coloured gown with front laces inspired by medieval gowns o and made as a tribute to the princess dreams of my childhood.

       

      Ellen MARIANNE Tornander

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679433
      Caty Ryan
      Baroness
      Registered On: August 27, 2017
      Topics: 123
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      I’m being cremated and therefore agree with the member who said, not to waist any clothes of mine that could go on to a thrift shop. a/. I dont do cheap b/.In case I go suddenly there are notes nestled in Catys things eg lingerie drawer, quoting various CD groups and people with links to same, giving them first dibs. Especially my “not cheap” breast forms and one particular wig……

      I’m gunna end up in the sea,same area as my parents and right in an old favorite fishing spot. God knows I caught and ate enough good fish out of that location.

      Their turn for a feed!!..

      Caty.

       

      .

      • This reply was modified 2 months ago by Caty Ryan.
    • #679431
      Alison Anderson
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 15, 2018
      Topics: 15
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      Jewish tradition is to be buried in a shroud, both for men and women.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679411
      Rozalyn Richards
      Lady
      Registered On: July 27, 2022
      Topics: 0
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      Hi Holly I’m going to be cremated, I think it would not be nice to burn a really good dress 👗, also it would be a great way to get rid of some really drab man clothes, lol, is it something we should be laughing at, if we didn’t laugh we would end up crying, it’s just my warped sense of humour,

      Hugs Rozalyn X 🎀

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    • #679396
      Fiona Black
      Lady
      Registered On: November 23, 2019
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      I buried my wife in the dress she wore when we got married and I intend to be buried in the suit & tie I wore at our wedding. But I have decided to wear a panty under it all.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679394
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 14
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      Hi Holly, I guess it is rather somber (tho, I can think of other terms). But the end of the year is coming, winter is coming, getting time to reflect on who and where and what we are, I guess.

      So, I’ve been at a complete crossroads as to what I would want for my post mortem activities.  Cemeteries are getting quite full and what? within the next 75 years 8 or 9 billion people will pass away. That’s a lot of burial plots.  My spouse is all in on cremation and scattering of ashes. My father and his family (except for a sister) are all buried in a family plot and there are spaces, my mother’s ashes are interred in an onsite church plot and her parents are buried (or whatever, I wasn’t there) somewhere in Mexico. So there’s no particular tradition. I think cremation is the way to go, but that sounds….so final.

      Well, I might pass away sooner than anyone might expect, and they’ll just have to  decide.  Maybe if there’s an open casket, well, unmentionables underneath might still work.  I just keep putting it all off and I’m developed a real talent for that. Wish I could do the same for death.

      Hugs, ChloëC

       

      • This reply was modified 2 months ago by ChloeC.
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    • #679391
      Rachel Smith
      Lady
      Registered On: December 21, 2020
      Topics: 2
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      As I don’t fancy being 6 feet under, I’ve let my other half know that I wish to be scattered somewhere nice. She doesn’t have a problem with that, except that I have no wish to be cremated first.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679376
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
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      Doesn’t matter what I’m wearing because the wife and I agree on cremation. I want my ashes dumped in the ocean. She wants hers scattered under a big oak tree so I told her I would take her to Joyce Kilmer forest.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #679436
        Gwyneth
        Lady
        Registered On: January 21, 2021
        Topics: 5
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        So I’m not far from you at all. The mountains are beautiful over there.

        Gwyn

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679370
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
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      Hi Holly,

      I will just have everyone remember me as they wish. The will has me all set for  cremation. I would not want to burn any pretty clothes, so I don’t want to be dressed for it. Do they even put you in clothes for that? There is something morbid to research.

      Years ago, before deciding on cremation, I told my wife if I went first, I wanted a big party. The casket would be closed, with a bar set up on it. The first song played at the party was to be AC/DC’s Have A Drink On Me!

      💕Lara

    • #679368
      Lisa Leigh
      Lady
      Registered On: April 20, 2022
      Topics: 5
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      I just going to make an ash of myself, so it does really matter for me!

      Lisa Leigh

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679365
      Courtney Leshea
      Lady
      Registered On: July 5, 2021
      Topics: 0
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      I have already told my wife I wanted to be buried as a full female with earrings, necklace, bracelets and rings, and Full makeup with fingers and toes painted to match. She said it’s not gonna happen. Even with a closed casket. I want my viewing and funeral at night so no one has to miss work for me. Then bury me the next morning as the sun comes up. To appease her. I told her to view me as male then dress me after the funeral and before burial. That why we both get our desires.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679347
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
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      I will keep it a secret between me and my executors so people can see me as they wish,  it will be a closed casket.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679332
      Zenn
      Lady
      Registered On: April 4, 2022
      Topics: 1
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      Not that I’ve thought about it, but now it would be,

      My Navy skirt, matching Robert Graham shirt, purple K&L panties, artic blue stockings, the electric blue Cre8tion Mermaid polish, and the Zuni lapis and opal spiral earrings.

      Zenn

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679327
      Sally Drinkwater
      Princess
      Registered On: July 15, 2019
      Topics: 27
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      To all concerned,

      When it gets to ‘coffin’ time I should imagine that I will be well past caring.

      My only wish is that they make sure I’m dead before they close the lid 🙂

      • #679331
        Gwyneth
        Lady
        Registered On: January 21, 2021
        Topics: 5
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        ILMAO

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #679334
          Sally Drinkwater
          Princess
          Registered On: July 15, 2019
          Topics: 27
          Replies: 344
          Has thanked: 114 times
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          ILMAO????

           

          1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #679335
            Gwyneth
            Lady
            Registered On: January 21, 2021
            Topics: 5
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            I was looking for an emogee. I’m Laughing My Ass Off

            1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #679320
      Gwyneth
      Lady
      Registered On: January 21, 2021
      Topics: 5
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      Just when I think you’ve thought up all the possible poll topics…..

      I’m not sure when I die, they’ll even find my body. So I went with other. I’ve always had problems viewing someone in a casket. I want to remember them as I’ve interacted with them in the past. Maybe even as kids. Maybe the last time I saw them. So that’s what I would like with myself. Some pictures scrolling on a monitor. Sitting on a table. Just have friends and family talk about me (REALLY behind my back at that point), remembering perhaps a few things they liked about being around me.

      Even though I own a mausoleum tomb, I really want to be cremated. Distribute my ashes here in my favorite place in God’s creation — the Smoky Mountains.

      Gwyn

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679319
      Саманта
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
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      i don’t plan on attending any more funerals til my own… after that, i may reconsider

      if they bury me i kinda hope they do so upside down 😂 hi again Holly

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #679321
        Gwyneth
        Lady
        Registered On: January 21, 2021
        Topics: 5
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        Even if I wanted to die young, that’s not a possibility anymore. Unless I would have a lifespan of 200 years!

        Gwyn

        3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #679325
          Саманта
          Managing Ambassador
          Registered On: January 21, 2018
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          i suppose i could say likewise, but we’re both young at heart Gwyn 🙂

          3 users thanked author for this post.
          • #679349
            Holly Morris
            Lady
            Registered On: April 15, 2022
            Topics: 88
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            Ain’t we all!!! 😉

            3 users thanked author for this post.
          • #679330
            Gwyneth
            Lady
            Registered On: January 21, 2021
            Topics: 5
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            I have people tell me all the time that I’m in a middle age crisis. So… you think I’ll live ’til 130!?

            2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679313
      Chrissy Perry
      Lady
      Registered On: August 28, 2022
      Topics: 1
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      Already told my wife long ago. I would not want to spend eternity drab. I’m sure I won’t be the first one they see with panties.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #679312
      Wendy Swift
      Lady
      Registered On: May 11, 2020
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      This is wierd, not too long ago my wife and I talked about being buried, and before I introduced her to Wendy I mentioned that I wanted to be buried in t shirt and jeans, something really simple.  I didn’t want to go into the afterlife wearing a suit (I hate wearing ties).

      Since I introduced Wendy to her, I’ve been thinking about how I want to be dressed when the day comes, and I finally brought the topic up and said to her that I wanted to be dressed as Wendy, in a beautiful skirt, blouse, blazer, wigs, the whole enchilada.  I want to go into the afterlife as Wendy, not drab.

      Since my wife is the only one that knows about Wendy, it would have to be closed casket.  But yeah, that would be my final wish.

       

      6 users thanked author for this post.
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