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Hi ladies!
Today’s poll is a bit more somber, but it’s one that I’m sure many of us have given at least some thought to…
Many of us here on CDH have come out of the closet, or at least more fully out of the closet later in our lives. Of course, that means that we have less time to be able to fully express the woman within. And depending on how far out of the closet we’ve actually stepped, we may have wives and family who know about our female side, friends and neighbors, even co-workers. But then again, although we may be out of the closet, we may not be that far out. Or even if we are, do we want the world to know about this part of us?
Because many of us are older, the reality that we’re not going to be here forever begins to intrude, and we have to take steps to start planning for the eventuality that every human being has in common — our passing. And when that occurs, how do we want to be buried and remembered?
The truth is, when we’re long gone, it really doesn’t matter (to us at least) how we’re remembered. But to our families and friends it does. Do we want people to remember us as a man? As a crossdresser? As a transgender woman? For those of us who have transitioned already, this may not be an issue, but for the rest of us, this is a question that may come to mind (or at least, to my mind), because funeral planning is something that all of us have to consider as we age.
So of course, that got me to wondering…
When you die, do you want to be buried in your male clothes (which often are not the clothes that expressed who you really feel you are), underdressed (maybe your legs are shaved, wearing panties, bra, garter and stocking, etc., which many of us have done for years or decades), or do you want to be fully dressed and made up as your female self? This is also an especially interesting mental exercise for those who may be inclined to have an open casket funeral.
I’m also not going to get into the religious implications that surround the question, because those could be huge.
So…, let me know your thoughts.
Hugs,
Holly
This is wierd, not too long ago my wife and I talked about being buried, and before I introduced her to Wendy I mentioned that I wanted to be buried in t shirt and jeans, something really simple. I didn’t want to go into the afterlife wearing a suit (I hate wearing ties).
Since I introduced Wendy to her, I’ve been thinking about how I want to be dressed when the day comes, and I finally brought the topic up and said to her that I wanted to be dressed as Wendy, in a beautiful skirt, blouse, blazer, wigs, the whole enchilada. I want to go into the afterlife as Wendy, not drab.
Since my wife is the only one that knows about Wendy, it would have to be closed casket. But yeah, that would be my final wish.
Just when I think you’ve thought up all the possible poll topics…..
I’m not sure when I die, they’ll even find my body. So I went with other. I’ve always had problems viewing someone in a casket. I want to remember them as I’ve interacted with them in the past. Maybe even as kids. Maybe the last time I saw them. So that’s what I would like with myself. Some pictures scrolling on a monitor. Sitting on a table. Just have friends and family talk about me (REALLY behind my back at that point), remembering perhaps a few things they liked about being around me.
Even though I own a mausoleum tomb, I really want to be cremated. Distribute my ashes here in my favorite place in God’s creation — the Smoky Mountains.
Gwyn
To all concerned,
When it gets to ‘coffin’ time I should imagine that I will be well past caring.
My only wish is that they make sure I’m dead before they close the lid 🙂
Not that I’ve thought about it, but now it would be,
My Navy skirt, matching Robert Graham shirt, purple K&L panties, artic blue stockings, the electric blue Cre8tion Mermaid polish, and the Zuni lapis and opal spiral earrings.
Zenn
I have already told my wife I wanted to be buried as a full female with earrings, necklace, bracelets and rings, and Full makeup with fingers and toes painted to match. She said it’s not gonna happen. Even with a closed casket. I want my viewing and funeral at night so no one has to miss work for me. Then bury me the next morning as the sun comes up. To appease her. I told her to view me as male then dress me after the funeral and before burial. That why we both get our desires.
I was also thinking that if I had a casket I would have a “Jack-in-the -Box” handle installed in front of the caskets lid. If you cranked it of course the music would play! How many would dare?
Hi Holly,
I will just have everyone remember me as they wish. The will has me all set for cremation. I would not want to burn any pretty clothes, so I don’t want to be dressed for it. Do they even put you in clothes for that? There is something morbid to research.
Years ago, before deciding on cremation, I told my wife if I went first, I wanted a big party. The casket would be closed, with a bar set up on it. The first song played at the party was to be AC/DC’s Have A Drink On Me!
💕Lara
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Doesn’t matter what I’m wearing because the wife and I agree on cremation. I want my ashes dumped in the ocean. She wants hers scattered under a big oak tree so I told her I would take her to Joyce Kilmer forest.
Hi Holly, I guess it is rather somber (tho, I can think of other terms). But the end of the year is coming, winter is coming, getting time to reflect on who and where and what we are, I guess.
So, I’ve been at a complete crossroads as to what I would want for my post mortem activities. Cemeteries are getting quite full and what? within the next 75 years 8 or 9 billion people will pass away. That’s a lot of burial plots. My spouse is all in on cremation and scattering of ashes. My father and his family (except for a sister) are all buried in a family plot and there are spaces, my mother’s ashes are interred in an onsite church plot and her parents are buried (or whatever, I wasn’t there) somewhere in Mexico. So there’s no particular tradition. I think cremation is the way to go, but that sounds….so final.
Well, I might pass away sooner than anyone might expect, and they’ll just have to decide. Maybe if there’s an open casket, well, unmentionables underneath might still work. I just keep putting it all off and I’m developed a real talent for that. Wish I could do the same for death.
Hugs, ChloëC
Hi Holly I’m going to be cremated, I think it would not be nice to burn a really good dress 👗, also it would be a great way to get rid of some really drab man clothes, lol, is it something we should be laughing at, if we didn’t laugh we would end up crying, it’s just my warped sense of humour,
Hugs Rozalyn X 🎀
I’m being cremated and therefore agree with the member who said, not to waist any clothes of mine that could go on to a thrift shop. a/. I dont do cheap b/.In case I go suddenly there are notes nestled in Catys things eg lingerie drawer, quoting various CD groups and people with links to same, giving them first dibs. Especially my “not cheap” breast forms and one particular wig……
I’m gunna end up in the sea,same area as my parents and right in an old favorite fishing spot. God knows I caught and ate enough good fish out of that location.
Their turn for a feed!!..
Caty.
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I hope that the day I die, I will legally be a woman and thus be dressed accordingly. More specific I want to be buried in the first dress I sewed for myself. A floor length bronze coloured gown with front laces inspired by medieval gowns o and made as a tribute to the princess dreams of my childhood.
Ellen MARIANNE Tornander
Hoping that this will be a long way off…
I plan to be cremated. I don’t know if they dress you for that.
My wife is also not big on the open casket thing and likely won’t have that.
If there was a “Thing” for my departing, I trust her to dress me up however she wants to remember seeing me last. I’ll be gone, so, it’s more for her than me.
Now go have some fun!!
xoxo
Rayna
I guess in my drab clothes. I came into this world as a male and I will take my dirt nap as a male. My wife will donate all of Susan’s clothes and wigs.
Susan
Susan, I’d assumed you came into this world naked, like the rest of us. 😆
My topic last year was close to this
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/who-will-inherit-your-cd-wardobe/
Caty.
I am the major care-giver to my SO. There are no reliable relatives or friends. Hopefully for her sake, she will preceed me to the Great Cosmos . I will most likely die alone………..hopefully while fully dressed as Karley ……….I really do not care what people will think seeing me crossdressed. If there is a great world ending calamity………Hopefully…SO will be long gone before hand. I will face it as karley……..the pretty girl ……..playing with her dogs ……….total girl …………as people are rushing around thinking they can somehow save themselves …………………………..k
I am going to be buried in my make clothing, why would I want to shock all my friends and family at that point. If I am not able to tell them while I am alive, then drab it is. Besides, I am going to be cremated, why would I want to destroy a beautiful outfit. My wife knows about me and tries to accept, I have told her to donate all of my femme things to a charity. Perhaps another CD will benefit, so if you ever see about 40 pairs of size 13w shoes at a charity store, they were mine, lol.
Hello Holly, a great question to reflect on. I told my wife about this. She then said how do you want to look when the time comes. I said all female. This did not surprise her.
This is not usually a topic that comes up, however we are now closer to passing over.
My wife and I are on the same page.
Thankyou.
JaneWith the hope that that day will arrive as late as possible, I have no complicated ideas to implement; my only wish is to be cremated naked, as I was born naked.
My ashes must be scattered on the white beach of Boracay (Philippines), Italy that did not respect me when I was alive does not deserve my stay when I am no longer aliveness!Greta 💐
Current plan is to be buried in an urn (cremated). No wake, no funeral. So how I’m dressed when I’m buried does not apply here.
How I’m dressed when I die, now that’s a whole ‘nother question, beyond the scope of this poll.
I do hope, however, that good fortune and a favorable genome will allow me a few more years of membership here at CDH!
In the words of the late, great John Prine (check it out on YouTube, hilarious song)
Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul went through the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you saidPlease don’t bury me
Down in the cold cold ground
No, I’d druther have ’em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don’t mind the sizeGive my stomach to Milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get ’em out of here
Venus de Milo can have my arms
Look out! I’ve got your nose
Sell my heart to the Junkman
And give my love to RoseBut please don’t bury me
Down in that cold, cold ground
No, I’d druther have ’em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don’t mind the sizeGive my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Don’t pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
It’s a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbyeBut please don’t bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I’d druther have ’em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don’t mind the sizeAin’t we all!!! 😉
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