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Follow up to Aoife’s post, let’s make it more general. Do your kids know? Are they supportive?
Our son is 14 months old now. We believe it would be healthier for our family that he grows up knowing me not only as dad but also know who I am as Skyler. Still daddy, but in a different form. We believe that our kids should grow up learning that hate and discrimination is wrong on all levels. Something that wasn’t preached to me as a kid quite as well as my parents think it was. I grew up in a house where to be gay is a sin and god doesn’t make mistakes so you aren’t allowed to feel like the opposite gender. Both of which i have very personal feelings towards. I’m a bisexual male who feels like a female inside who just so happens to be engaged to a beautiful bisexual woman. If I told my parents this growing up, I couldn’t imagine the horror they would feel. My son will not grow up this way. We want him to know that hate and discrimination against skin color, religion, sexual orientation or gender identity is just flat out wrong.
So, this makes me wonder, do your kids know about everything? And how supportive or unsupportive are they?
That can be A touchy subject, in A way its like hiding our cross-dressing from our wives and
worrying about getting caught. My dad crossed dressed and my mother was concerned about me finding out and how I would be able to cope with it. My sister was two years older then I knew about dad as she helped mom do the washing and seeing no male underwear my dad’s size asked mom why there was two different sizes in the wash. When sis caught me checking out her nightgown I found in our hamper she took it on herself to get me started wearing Gurley clothes , shortly after that mom and dad sat me down for A long talk about wearing feminine clothing and I had to keep it, A secret from others. I was told that if others found out I would be ridiculed and maybe hurt I promised not to wear panties of any other fem items to school or any other places they could be seen. Mom also told me not to take anything with out permission from my sister or from any other female . After that it seamed our family got much closer, my sister and I drew much closer then we ever were and she started giving me her old clothes and mom bought A dozen panties and two nighties for me. Good luck Skyler I hope if you decide to share your secrete it will be A positive thing like it was for me. Sarasue
I’m glad you had such s good experience with it! In today’s day in age, by the time he’s older, I feel like these things will be even more accepted than they are now. I don’t think I’d have to fear kids ridiculing him for anything I do or he does/doesn’t do. I just want him to learn from the start that this is who I am and it is 1000% okay to be different.
Both of my kids know. They accept it as something I am doing for myself. They see how I have changed for the better since I started on this journey a couple of months ago. Me and my daughter have really bonded with it and she loves helping me with things.
My son doesn’t care that I’m cross dressing. He says whatever makes me happy is fine by him.
We raised our kids not to judge people by the way they look because it’s who they are on the inside that counts. We also taught them that there are somethings you don’t share with everyone because of the judging nature of people.
Our kids don’t know but our adult granddaughter does! She caught me fully dressed. Her comment: ohhh does Grandma know? I assured her that Grandma did know!
hi Skyler. do my kids know? in a word….no. only my wife does, and that took some courage I can tell you! to be honest, I think I know my kids inside out but I am not sure how they would respond if I dared to tell them. as mentioned before, I feel there is too much at stake and once said, it cannot be reversed unless they both suffer from amnesia all of a sudden. I am not sure if I could ever tell them, one is gay and you might think he might be accepting but i’m not too sure. it would be a big relief to me if they did know because it would enable me to walk freely around the house as opposed to being stuck in the bedroom feeling like a caged animal screaming to be released into the wild!
fiona xxx
They did 20 years ago and found out in the middle of my divorce. That made things very ugly for a while and I still blame one of my girls for asking too many questions and guessing the right answer about Caty. They wanted their Dad not an extra Mum and I guess their reaction was understandable at the time.
Of course, my darling ex did not held back and got the petrol can out on to the fire.
It took years to mend it all and these days they think I’ve “signed the CD pledge”. And after the “first round” there aint gunna be a “second” one.
I’d like there to be a second chance as society has adjusted heaps to cd’ing since the 90’s. But I aint gunna take the risk
I just came out to my eldest son(13). He’s taken it well asked a few questions then turned to me said daddy I love you and gave me a big hug. I so glad he taken it well but now I got his younger brother to come out to. He’s only 10 and I’m not sure he could understand the same way. My 2 year old knows and will grow up with me as both daddy and Keely
So happy telling your son went well! I was talking to a trans woman from Arizona who directed me to her podcast. She has fully transitioned. I am just beginning my transition and struggled with how I tell my son. She made it simple. “Daddy feels like a girl on the inside and is going to start wearing clothes and makeup like mommy. I’m still going to play LEGOS though”
Hi..my daughter who is in college knows..she found out when she was in high school, one day on my computer she found the photos of me..she didnt even know that was me..which was cool but was nervous and scared about her finding them..I should have known it was going to happen..well in a nutshell she was totally cool with it..she couldn’t believe how good I can do my make up as she was trying some different looks and trying to get down wut I was already doing..so it was nice to give her some fatherly fem advice about how to make tutorial..lol..I never in a million years would have expected that..she doesn’t treat me any different knowing I like yo dress up..she still looks at me as her dad plain and simple…Now for the other child, my son who is in grade school. Doesn’t know, at least I think he doesn’t anyway..I havent told hhim yet..jst waiting on the right time I guess,. but for now jst my daughter knowing is good enough and when the time comes or arises I will tell my son..but until then I am still jst day no matter wut I am wearing..I am jst a bit more prettier when I am my fem self..lol..xoxo
I told our three children two years ago at age 17, 15 and going on 13. The eldest had more or less figured it out himself from a number of hints given, while his younger brothers were totally surprised. All of them were however accepting and supportive from start. They are used to see Marianne around at times and doesn’t care but knows I’m their dad anyway. All of them had covered LGBT rights and equality in school and were aware of their presence in society but also that not all people agree upon them and understood that talking about it could get both me and themselves unwanted attention.
I came out (it was an open secret at best anyway) when my daughter was 10. I am separated from her mum, but we remain close friends. I discussed it with her mum over a few weeks, and we decided it would be better coming from her than me.
My daughters reaction was one of acceptance, she said she’d seen my wigs and clothes anyway and this just cleared up in her mind who’s they were and why.
I can’t say she’s “supportive”, at 15 now, she has her own life and dramas to attend too, but she knows and she doesn’t judge me in any way… I’m still dad, dad with a dress… But still dad (with a bank card and the car keys).
Kd’s have fewer filters and prejudices, with a supportive SO or in this case ex SO… It can go well if it’s handles with care in an appropriate way.
My youngest knows. I told her because if something ever happened to me, like not waking up, she’d most likely be the one to find me because she lives the closest of any of my kids. I’d rather she find out because I told her, rather than having her discover my lifeless body in a bralette and pantyhose. Sounds morbid, but one shock at a time is enough.
Two years ago one of my daughters found my not to well hidden heels and clothing in the basement. She talked to the other two and they confronted me on the telephone wanting to know whose clothing it was. They assumed I was having an affair. I guess they failed to look as sizes 😂👗👚👖👠. I told them they were mine and to not ask questions. There was a hush and some minimal acceptance. No questions were asked. That was two years ago and my dressing has continued. I have become much more feminine in appearance and love my girl time. (Look at my pics here on CDH) and give me your opinions). I would love to have someone to talk to about my interests. I have a great relationship with all my daughters and they have never brought the topic up again. Not sure if they know, remember or ever think about it. I would love to tell them but I am terrified. My wife does not know and I know my girls would not tell her if I asked them not to. They never mentioned finding the cloths. In retrospect, after they found them I think my wife may have see the heels but never mentioned them, perhaps thinking they were the girls shoes Not sure what to do or how to handle it. I am a 62 year old “Grandma” so to speak. My daughters are 35, 31 and 27.
My wife has decided to end our 38 year marriage over my cross dressing. She doesn’t want to tell the kids, but I have decided to tell them if they want to know if there is anything else we’re not disclosing. I’ve been in the closet for 60 years and am sick of keeping secrets and sneaking around. I love my children and they deserve to know the truth. Lacy
My fiancé and I have elected to not tell my family until physical changes take place. HRT will begin showing some effects after a year or so, and at that point I’ll be open to answering their narrow minded questions and deal with their criticism. For now, my fiancé knows and I’m telling my best friend Tuesday everything so he isn’t floored by me transitioning. Fingers crossed for the best there
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