- January 6, 2023 at 9:08 am #707245Anonymous
We all know how absolutely wonderful it is to be able to dress and spend time as the women we want to be. It’s a treat that only those of us who crossdress really know and understand. But there’s also a few other benefits to crossdressing that we don’t often think about, and that is how it relaxes us. From not only my own life, but from talking with many other, I know many of us are better able to deal with the stresses in our lives (work, personal, familial, friends, etc.) because we can dress as and become the women we want to be, allowing us to escape some of the pressures that we have to live with and deal with as men.
I know that when I’m Holly, I become a completely different person. Not just in how I look (obviously), but in how I act, how I see things, how I let things impact and affect me, etc. I’m calmer, happier, more tolerant, less judgmental, more emotional, more open, move loving and accepting, etc. In other words, I’m a much nicer person as a woman than I am as a man.
So of course, that got me to wondering…
Does crossdressing also help us deal with things like anger, depression, hurt and other type of emotional issues like that?
I suspect it does, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.
- January 6, 2023 at 11:16 am #707278Rozalyn RichardsLady
Hi Holly it does for me, I’m a much calmer person when I’m dressed as Roz, it’s like having an internal switch that automatically switches it self to being this calmer person,
There’s no anger no selfish thinking no animosity towards anyone, all this seems to fade away, as a man i seem to get very irritating as a woman i seem to be more accommodating and tolerant, I just wish that sometime’s i could share all this with my wife, it’s a big step for me to take,
Hugs Rozalyn X 🎀
- January 6, 2023 at 12:03 pm #707284Emily AltManaging Ambassador
Crossdressing helped so much that I discovered I was on the wrong team……
- January 7, 2023 at 5:14 am #707436Anonymous
Em, any team that has you on it is blessed.
- January 6, 2023 at 1:42 pm #707304Nikki Just NikkiLady
No question that it does for me. In fact, I attribute no small part of my lifelong struggle with depression and anxiety to my long estrangement from my true nature. Being out to my amazingly supportive wife, and to many trusted members of my community, has led to a profound reduction in my overall stress. I end most days dressing in some way, large or small, and if it’s a bad day, time spent en femme is a virtual cure. I am so grateful for my life now!
- January 6, 2023 at 2:31 pm #707313
Since I have been dressing a lot of my friends have noticed that I am calmer and I have fewer episodes of depression. It tends to make me less capable of angry outbursts. The only time it hurts is when I want to open up to certain family members and I know that I can’t.
- January 6, 2023 at 2:41 pm #707314Lauren MugnaiaDuchess
Holly, my reply contains the same thing Emily says, “Crossdressing helped so much that I discovered I was on the wrong team……” Although I already knew there was something different about me. Since I transitioned, I can honestly say that it’s like I’ve had a brain transplant! I’ve become so completely feminine in almost everything I do. The woman that was always me, has completely taken charge and my life will never be the same. People tell me they’re amazed at the change they see, there is no anger, depression or hurt. Instead there’s compassion, caring, empathy, patience, consideration of others, and loving them. It is such a change I find myself feeling amazed at the difference!
Ms. Lauren M
- January 6, 2023 at 3:24 pm #707334Fiona BlackBaroness - Annual
I dressed fully and went out in public in May 2022 which was six months after my wife of 42 yrs. passed away in November 2021. There is no doubt in my mind at all that CD’ing has enabled my to survive the last 14 months of intense grief. It has provided a much needed distraction (not an escape which would not be psychologically healthy, just a distraction) enabling me to occupy my time with being Fiona. I’ve come out to a few people who were all accepting, I’ve met new friends who only know me as Fiona and I’ve found that I am extremely comfortable and happy as Fiona. All these positives have helped to somewhat offset some of the difficult emotions enabling me to be in a much better place than I was a year ago. For me, cross dressing has been a wonderful gift.
- January 6, 2023 at 4:42 pm #707343Kerri SmithLady
Crossdressing is a vacation from my depressing life. I’m going through a terrible and expensive divorce, watching my life savings being taken by my ex. Knowing that the worst of it is that my daughter seems to have disowned me. The few hours a week when I can become my femme self help me cope with the reality. I want to thank my CDH sisters for your understanding and emotional support.
- January 7, 2023 at 6:16 am #707445Marg ProdueLady
Hi Kerri, I’ve been there too and clearly remember those soul crushing times. The only thing that I can pass along is that for me in time things got much better and in fact, they now are great. It may seem hollow to voice it that but I do hope that things get better for you in time too. It was 15 years after my divorce before my daughter talked to me again and now we are good friends. Hopefully the tunnel will lighten up soon for you. Hugs, Marg
- January 6, 2023 at 6:35 pm #707361ChloeCDuchess
Hi Holly, well sort of difficult one to answer as I have thought about it to a fair extent. I’ve got a pretty active life as an appearing cis-male, so I really don’t have a lot of time to have anger or hurt, and less of depression.
But…I began noticing some years ago that when I was dressed, I just felt a lot calmer, maybe more mellow, and even more relaxed (and that was before having a glass of wine!), especially when I was able to stay dressed for over a day. I certainly didn’t worry about things that I do as a male and sometimes I was able to, oh, I don’t know, maybe think of what issues I might have had from a slightly different perspective.
My only moment of disappointment was to have to go back to appearing as a male, but that would not last that long, other than the overreaching feeling that I missed my chance. Given the chance maybe other things earlier in my life I might have done differently looking back, but I really don’t regret any of them other than that one. And like Sinatra, I really don’t think about mentioning any of those few except when asked.
- January 6, 2023 at 7:02 pm #707368Giselle ReevesLady
I voted other as crossdressing covers almost every answer to the question.
For me it helps ,hurts and a million other things in my life.
- January 7, 2023 at 2:29 am #707409Karen AllumLady
It has certainly helped me deal with stress in the past – I had a really stressful job in the early 1990s and changing into Karen when I got home in the evenings helped me to feel calm and relaxed.
Over the last 15 years or so I have had the opportunity to dress fairly regularly and accept Karen as part of who I am. I think that has allowed my feminine side to influence my male identity (which is all that most people see) so that male me is now far more relaxed and very rarely gets angry. He feels much more comfortable expressing his softer emotions, which in the past he’d have had to keep hidden.
Hugs, Karen x
- January 7, 2023 at 2:50 am #707414Carolyn KayBaroness - Annual
I do think me being a CD has caused a lot of my anger, depression, and so on. BUT, I find I deal with much better when I am fully dressed and can relax and just be me. Being a CD is part of who I am, I can’t change that. I found the key was to accept myself as being a CD rather than fight it. Everyone is different, I just dress the part, lol. Enjoy who you are, it’s all you have!
- January 7, 2023 at 4:13 am #707425Fiona-Ann MossDuchess
Hi all. I had no doubt whatsoever what the vote would be on this. Dressing up or even wearing makeup can be a huge safety valve for many. Its like an emotional release, all that pent up disillusionment, despair and soul destroying pain dissipates.
Fiona Moss xx
- January 7, 2023 at 7:16 am #707457Kelly LeeDuchess - Annual
I have to go with “yes” since I feel better when I dress. It’s not like I change personality or so but I do feel better, to the level that when I don’t dress I feel like a traitor.
I wrote about it at https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/coming-out-more-due-to-wife-sickness/ and with that I now have an “official excuse” that I can use when asked about my dressing, one that is way easier to explain than “it just feels right”.
- January 7, 2023 at 11:40 am #707549Kris BurtonLady
I have been troubled by depression, anxiety, anger management issues and regret or most of my adult life. I have been in and out of therapy. When I finally gave in to my crossdressing impulse, these issues lifted at last. About a year and a half since beginning I can now say I am a better person, in both male and female modes, and I feel better psychologically than I have in years – maybe ever. Clearly it fills a void in my psyche, and there is no way I can imagine turning back now.
- This reply was modified 1 year ago by Kris Burton.
- January 14, 2023 at 11:13 am #709356Anonymous
I can’t change my feelings toward dressing either. My life while blessed with understanding wife was based on fixing my past; combat medic, I lost friends I was a failure. So I became EMT. Well people do die, so I will be an ER-Nurse but people still have bad days, then firefighter but I love it..I lost friends!
My wife got cancer in a personal place and I decided to wear panties for her comfort…wow! They de-stress me! Over time I began to feel a strong feminine side..I have a counselor for PTSD and he revealed whatever works..endorse it!
My wife helps me dress and I feel so normal as a chic!
- January 7, 2023 at 12:00 pm #707560Holly MarieLady
I have to vote “Other” because I haven’t ever found it to be a help for me – but I’m pretty sure that won’t be the case for a lot of other ladies out there. I go through the same gamut of emotions that we all do – probably to a more extreme level than most folk – but I’ve never found my crossdressing has an effect on what’s – lets face it – can be some pretty scary and confusing moments. Holly has a distinct outlook on life – very different in many ways than when I’m in male mode, and when I’m Holly I’m totally absorbed in that personality. I’m aware, however, that for most of the ladies out there, crossdressing can have a beautiful, calming and very uplifting effect; I envy those ladies. Interesting question – thank you so much for posting it! Holly XXX
- January 8, 2023 at 11:42 am #707773AnonymousLady
I voted yes because before coming out to the wife I would steal any time I could to dress and it was relaxing during but the old anxiety and depression would return when I had to go back drab. Accepting this part of myself, coming out to the wife, and being able to express my femininity every day has made me a much calmer and happier person. The wife even noticed and commented on the change.
- January 8, 2023 at 11:51 pm #707879Ashlee SantosLady
Whenever I starting to feel down about something . I shower and change into a nice dress and it changes the way I feel . It brightens up my day .
- January 9, 2023 at 2:45 am #707889Suzanne MartinHostess
I would have to say that dressing helps me to be calmer and decreases my stress. During one of the conversations I had with my wife about my dressing she asked me if it helped me with stress. I hadn’t really thought about it until then, but it does. When I am dressed I feel my persona change to a more relaxed, calmer person. The expectations I perceive others see in me diminish. It is a nice feeling. As I only dress at home I find it to be a good way to adjust my attitude and psyche. It may sound silly but when I take the dog for a walk in the early morning I will underdress in panties and bra, sometimes tights or pantyhose, and find that my mood is more relaxed.
Thanks for the question.
- January 9, 2023 at 4:08 am #707898Julianna FrancesLady
I have always felt that crossdressing helped ease my anxiety, and stress. It has always made me feel better when i get depressed too.
- January 9, 2023 at 10:48 am #707958Mary PriscillaDuchess - Annual
As always, a propagative question for me to ponder. My response is similar to your introduction in that I am extremely happy when dressed and, especially, when I can be with other like-minded women and men friends. It is magical.
- January 9, 2023 at 12:05 pm #707973Yael LyonsDuchess
Absolutely it does for me. I always feel much more relaxed when I am dressed. Especially the one time I ventured out. I just felt so free.
- January 11, 2023 at 5:54 am #708428Jacinta JonesLady
As someone who is new the scene (I have been crossdressing for less than 12 months), I do feel I am a better person when I am Jacinta.
Like others who have already answered, I live a pretty stressful life particularly due to my job. 2022 in particular was not a great year for me however one of the highlights was taking the plunge and start to crossdressing.
While I only dress in private (no one else knows), I have felt this sense of happiness and excitement that I haven’t had in a long time (plus I sleep a lot better dressed en femme). Part of my goals in 2023 is when I feel angry, stressed or depressed, I will aim to get to my feminine side so I can slow down look after and take care of myself. I need to love a happier life.
Whilst I am not in a relationship, if I end up in one, no doubt I will be very open and transparent about what I do (when the time comes) as I want to be with someone who is happy with it.
I hope you enjoyed my side to this question.
Lots of Love,
- January 14, 2023 at 12:06 am #709255Jamie BeamsLady
Crossdressing helps me deal with the daily stress that I deal with. I only get breif moments to dress. So I enjoy every minute can get.
- January 14, 2023 at 7:47 am #709292J JLady
I don’t dress because of those issue, I dress because I enjoy it. No doubt it does help such issues. I don’t really have any such issues, I am pretty happy and live a well balanced life, but who knows what is really deep down inside of us, so I suppose it is possible there is a component of that in my dressing that I am just not aware of, but I don’t think so.
- January 14, 2023 at 11:18 am #709358Jess SecretLady
Yes it definitely does, I have really bad anxiety a lot of the time and it really helps for me to become Jess at night for bedtime, very soothing and relaxing for me.
- January 23, 2023 at 12:35 pm #711693Kerri SmithLady
Crossdressing does help me with my anger and depression due to my recent divorce. I know I spend too much time being pissed off about the amount of money I lost to my ex, not to mention the loss of companionship. It wasn’t all my fault. I guess we were just destined to split up. Now I have all the opportunities I want to dress femme. I don’t have enough money to see a therapist, so I think of crossdressing as therapy. Thanks for reading.
- February 8, 2023 at 2:34 am #716582Jasmine BaileyLady
I said yes. What I noticed was a period of exceptionally high stress and depression is what made it impossible to continue resisting and denying my urge to be feminine.
- February 8, 2023 at 4:33 am #716596Anonymous
For me it does. I’m completely the same way, I’m a much better person when I’m alex. Before I started dressing I was a very angry person. I don’t get those feelings much at all anymore. Though I suspect I was angry because I didn’t like who I was, now that I’m 100% happy with myself and who I am I just don’t get angry anymore. I try to keep my personalities separate, but I can see how alex is creeping in to my male persona. In male mode ive been more tolerant, patient, understanding, not wild about being more emotional but it’s ok lol. All in all I think crossdressing has in a sense saved my marriage and is slowly making me a better person.
- February 8, 2023 at 5:51 am #716600AnonymousLady
I answered “other”…I have loved women’s clothing since I was a little boy. I don’t have depression, not angry at anything or am I hurt. I just feel good when I slip on a pair of panties, bra and skirt. Something about that just releases such a happiness that it is really hard to explain, only us gurls understand that. I know dressing for some it helps with issues and can take the place of being on medications. So when you can enjoy your clothing, enjoy looking in the mirror and smiling and enjoy those happy moments where you feel free to enjoy life!
- February 8, 2023 at 12:23 pm #716681Christine BlueLady
I am obsessed to wear Victoria’s Secret bras, bustiers, corsets, slips, garters, babydolls and teddies. That is magic feeling when I wear my favorite clothes and get good feeling just scrolling all the time Victoria’s Secret online shop or watching comercials.
- February 8, 2023 at 3:57 pm #716770Requal JoanneLady
Requal dresses for the wonderful feeling of the touch, style, colour and design of feminine clothing and to relax. Male clothing is just so pain, boring and unimaginative to wear.
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