Back in the late 70’s and early 80’s when I was dressing up in pantyhose, skirts, heels, lipstick and eyeliner and heading to a disco that catered to LGBT people, I was also balancing the thrill, excitement, passion, and discovery with guilt, fear and self-loathing. So I bought the textbook to a second year sociology course that had a chapter on “transvestites”. It included a very damning description of crossdressers and contributed significantly to my self-loathing. It also said that the desire to crossdress diminishes with age. Sadly, I found that claim to be comforting. When I got married and shared my feminization desires with my wife, I told her I thought it would diminish and I think she probably got some comfort from that. Then when we had kids, it actually did diminish – perhaps because raising kids is exhausting, and perhaps because it is human nature to put your kids’ needs before your own.
But now my kids have moved into their own apartments and my desire to wear tights, heels, lipstick, eyeliner and dresses has really intensified. I joined this website a couple of weeks ago because my feminization desires were re-awakening and ever since I have dealing with very strong urges. I decided last night that I was going to stop at a drugstore on my way home from work today and buy a couple of pairs of tights – so that is all I could think about all day. I was on a conference call this afternoon and talking about an important business proposal – but all I could think about was “should I get two pairs of black tights, or should I get a pair or red or purple tights to go with the black ones?”
I am wearing a pair right now – and wow was it wonderful to pull them up my legs. Of course I had to put on some heels and run to the mirror. Am I coming home? Maybe – I am not sure yet. Thankfully I got used to wearing platform shoes in the 70’s so returning to heels was more about reviving muscle memory than it was starting from scratch.
I am 59 years old, I was a crossdresser over 30 years ago then I stopped – AND NOW? WOW DO I LOVE DRESSING UP IN TIGHTS, HEELS, DRESSES AND MAKEUP
So for me – the old sociology textbook was wrong – the desire to feminize did not diminish – I either returned with a vengeance or maybe even intensified.
I dont know where this will take me – but it will be an intense and wild ride.
How about the other girls on this site? What is your experience?
- This topic was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by JaneS.
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