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    • #764806

      Lately, I’ve made some really good friends here on CDH.  Sometimes I just wonder what happened to them, and where they are, what they are doing.  To me, it’s the only thing that really bugs me on this site.  There is no way to get in touch with them, and I understand that completely, but it would be a very nice feature if the girls disappearing could notify the site somehow that they have some friends that they would like to stay in touch with and allow the site administrators to give those designated their personal e-mail.

      I still understand that there are some who cancel their account because they don’t want to be bothered for personal reasons.  But there are those that might still want to stay in touch, but haven’t given friends their e-mail account.  I understand the need for privacy here, and I support it, but I just miss people when they disappear.

    • #764808
      Elaine
      Duchess

      I wonder about them also Jennifer.  Whatever their circumstances for leaving I wish them well.

    • #764817

      It’s a matter of expectations. Unfortunately, my life has shown me that people don’t stick around; here today, gone tomorrow. Now I expect that from everyone. I don’t like it, but it is what it is. As I always say, given enough time, everyone will disappoint you. So enjoy the moments you can, they aren’t going to last forever.

      I’m such an Eeyore.

      • #764927
        Anonymous

        In my case I did not want to disappoint my friends. I regret having to leave the way I did. I have made sure that never happens again, I really needed the support for the two years I left, and the friendships I established.

    • #764818
      Connie Wittnee
      Baroness - Annual

      Sociable Jen, you’ve made really good friends only to lose some who disappear from CDH. I wouldn’t have guessed the impact on you or the disappearances # in 11 months. Good/healthy that you wrote and shared your feelings, even suggesting about emails.
      I recall one or two CDH girls who have surprised me during what I thought was a developing friendship. Not replying to messages, showing in Chat or posting a recent Forum. A challenge to not take personally.

    • #764820
      Liz K
      Managing Ambassador

      Oftentimes the girls that leave come back.  Hopefully that happens with your friends, Jennifer.

      As for a system such as the one you described, it would have to be automated to work.  I don’t know if that’s technically feasible with the software that runs the site.  Maybe it is.  I just don’t know.  If it’s possible, site management would have to approve.

      For the time being, the only option is for friends to make their own arrangement to communicate outside CDH.  Officially, CDH doesn’t recommend this.  Obviously each member would have to be comfortable with it.

      /EA

    • #764923
      Anonymous

      There can be all sorts of reasons I guess, hissy fit, bored, lack of confidence or giving up cross dressing to memtion just a few. The list must be endless.

      For me it was attempts to distance a very annoying 3rd party.

      Theyve gone, I came back xx

    • #764926
      Anonymous

      Jennifer, I had to leave CDH because of my wife wanted my to stop crossdressing. She did not want my to be on this site as well. I wanted to contact my friends and let them know why I left. Since rejoining CDH I have made new friends and have given them my email address just in case I would have to leave for any reason. I missed my friend dearly. The girls here at CDH are just so wonderful and I have made such wonderful supportive friends. I do wish there was a way to allow girls to contact someone who has left CDH.

    • #764948
      ChloeC
      Duchess

      I don’t know if ‘hate’ is the best word.  I feel a little saddened, like maybe somehow their needs weren’t being met, or enough to encourage them to stay.  It would be difficult to know every need.  But I also suspect that there are a lot of other reasons, just as there are a lot of people, some reasons of which I would have no idea.  Seldom (if ever!) does one size fit all.  Before I found cdh, I was a member on another somewhat similar site (name and purpose have changed since then), had several friends I chatted with offsite, was even a mod, but the ‘politics’ got a little too much (ok, a little more than..).  I hated to leave, but I felt I just couldn’t contribute effectively anymore. Several other mods left, tho I glanced at it awhile back and the one I trusted the most was still there.  So, maybe those leaving are still searching for whatever they feel they do need. I can only hope they find it.

      Hugs, ChloëC

    • #764955
      Thea Patrick
      Duchess

      Hey Femme Friends

      Shall I begin the list…from elementary school friends, high school friends, college friends, grad school friends, marriage partner(s), inlaws to “other-laws”, church members, Men’s club, Little Leagues, golfing leagues, bingo, card playing leagues, professional groups, and other support groups from AA-to ZZ (I just made up that last group). The lists and possibilities are enormous but they are there and our generation has the ability to easily reach out and become a friend or find friendship. They have been strategically placed in our life. We choose to use them, participate in them, enrich them, and/or ultimately leave them. Like Madeline Bradford said, ” given enough time, everyone will disappoint you. So enjoy the moments you can, they aren’t going to last forever”.

      As for my Christian upbringing, this may or may not be an appropriate interjection, but here goes anyway, According to Matthew, “… Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly”.

      Let us all enjoy what we had, what we have, and the woman we intend to be…as for being a new member, I hope to know you all.

      With Love and Sincerity,

      Thea

    • #765179

      I haven’t had that any CDH friends disappear that I’m aware of. However, I can tell you that since I transitioned to living as the woman I was born as, life changed when it came to friends. You do find out who your true friends are!
      I’m very pleased and delighted that I’ve made many friends here on CDH and over at our sister site, TGH.

      Big hugs girls,

      Ms. Lauren M

    • #765184
      Wendie Cross
      Duchess

      When it happens overnight it becomes more dumbfounding. It’s like, “what the heck happen?”

    • #765268
      Anonymous

      Jennifer,

      I just happened to have run across the recent “Manager’s Musing” on a related topic. The only way to share personal contact info is through a mutually agreed upon private message.

      If the girls leaving really wanted to stay in touch it would be up to them to initiate a PM to those with whom they desired to remain in contact.

      Yes, it’s sad when someone just up and disappears, but the moderators, don’t have any way to know who the dearly departed want to actually have that information.

      So strike, now, while the iron is hot and reach out (through PMs) and gather up that information now, before it’s too late.

    • #765298
      Becka
      Lady

      Disclaimer! I did not read the post, and being honest and open, the title of the topic stuck me in an unpleasant way.

      My answer to it, “NO!”. Why should I “hate” that someone disappears from CDH? What impact does that have on me, really?
      Maybe someone’s circumstances have changed in a major way.
      Maybe they are dealing with feeling, certainly dressing and self identification.
      Or perhaps maybe they felt they were just not getting what they wanted.
      It may even be considered a form of “purging” in one of those “I’ll never do this again”, guilt ridden moments I think many of us have felt.

      It’s a personal choice to be here. It’s a personal choice to stay. It’s a personal choice for anyone to step away either permanently, or perhaps re-surface.

      There is nothing wrong with any of that, and has no effect on me.

      All the best, and I really mean that.
      Becka

    • #765300
      Peta Mari
      Lady

      We can be a fickle and emotional bunch.

    • #765483

      I always get a little disappointed and sorry when someone on my friendliest just disappear and are always thinking:  did I do og say something wrong? I sincerely hope that people will let me know if I’m rude or they feel offended by something I wrote.  We are a lot of people in here whose native language is non-english and sometimes we can write strange things.

      I really miss the people who has left without a word.

       

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