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Since joining CDH I’ve realized that we all have our differing reasons for dressing but I always felt as though I was part of a small minority. I’ve never felt wrong in my body and would not want to transition. I don’t see myself on the transgender spectrum. I just love the thrill of wearing ladies’ clothes, love spending pink time when I have the opportunity. I’ve been trying to work out just what the difference is and trying to find a way to describe it.
Several girls have suggested I forget about labels, not to bother, just to accept myself for what I am – but if I don’t know what I am ….
Today I finally found a description that fits – through a link on susans.org – and wanted to see how many other girls feel the same way. Basically it described me as a fetishistic transvestite. This is what I read:
”Transvestic fetishism is a sexual fetish for the clothing of the opposite gender. It is one of a number of cross-dressing behaviours.
Transvestic fetishism, fetishistic transvestism and sometimes transvestism are also often used to describe any sexual behaviour or arousal which is in any way connected to clothes of the other gender. Especially the latter is problematic, because transvestism and cross-dressing are neither a sexual fetish, nor do they necessarily have anything to do with sexual behaviour or arousal.
Some transvestic fetishists collect women’s clothing, e.g. nightgowns, slips and other types of nightwear and lingerie. They may dress in these feminine garments and take photographs of themselves to live out their secret fantasies. Many men love the feeling of wearing silk or nylon and adore the silky fabric of women’s nightwear and lingerie.
Most transvestic fetishists are said to be heterosexual men.”Well, if the shoe fits … make mine a black patent stilletto!
Who else feels this description fits them?
In some way it does and in other ways it doesn’t describe me. Personally, I don’t like the word “fetishist” in describing my need to be feminine. There’s a driving force behind our need to be feminine. It’s more like being addicted.
My wife once almost 20 years ago thought it was some sort of sexual fetish for me. Yep well we burned that bridge with a nuke bomb and now she doesn’t go there anymore. However we all have our own descriptions that no two are alike. Even within an accepted rigid defined group using the same description there will still be various interpretations of the “true” meaning. So ladies I agree with the attitude of no labels, we just be ourselves. Maybe one day a person wearing whatever clothes they want will not warrant any notice of male, female, animal or vegetable, just a person.
🍷C
I agree with Edie. I wouldn’t describe myself as a fetishist, the word had such negative connotations. I love dressing and it may be an addiction but that word also has a negative meaning. I think we are who we are, the same but different. Not only different from other males but different from each other in our likes and dislikes.
Without seeing the other descriptions it is hard to agree or disagree. I do think the wording is odd and has negative connotations. I would ask is cross dressing a lifestyle or a hobby? Everyone’s situation is different as well. Someone who dresses whenever they get the chance because they don’t get the chance often may answer different than someone who may do it more often but not as often as they could.
A dictionary definition of fetish: a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc. how many ladies believe that this may be you??? For me, I express my feminine feelings by outwardly expressing “fully dressed” (intimates, pantyhose, dress or skirt, makeup and a wig) as a woman.. my wife refers to “my choices” however she is trying to process and understand my needs….fetish is a negative connotation in my opinion.
I guess in a way it is a fetish or an addiction, but as other girls have said it’s not a term I prefer. Yes there is a high or euphoria to it but not in a sexual way. It just makes me feel good to be the real me. We are all the same but yet very different in our wants and why’s as to why we dress. Some do it for the physical gratification where others it is more of a stress relief or a realizing of ones true self. As I’ve said before, I don’t like labels, I just try to be the best me I can be. That’s my 2 cents,
Thanks everyone who commented. Most if the girls I’ve spoken to personally say that in the beginning there was an erotic element to dressing but that was for them no longer the case. I was wondering for how many of us the erotic thrill is the main reason for dressing.
Hi Juliette, this is very interesting. For more me, when I first started dressing it was for the erotic thrill. As I’ve got older it has become less so. I love dressing to feel really comfortable. I underdress a lot at work and I wear everyday underwear and tights or hold ups. Sometimes I’m able to wear my underwear all day from when I get up to when I get home. The first time I did that I was so surprised that because I felt so comfortable I’d almost forgotten that I was wearing my underwear. When I dress I’m not now satisfying any erotic desire but when I want to get in the “mood” then wearing lovely underwear etc. makes feel sexy and in the “mood”. I don’t I’m satisfying an exotic desire. I’ve read some online articles in Cosmopolitan and other mags where women talk about how they feel when they wear sexy clothes. What they say matches how I feel. They feel sexy, confident, powerful. Its a whole mix of emotions. That’s maybe part of being a woman and being a crossdresser?
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