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Hi everyone! Two posts in one evening!! Blimey!
I was thinking about something today and this will only really apply to people that are able to dress up at home with family all the time or indeed as they wish.
Previously me and my wife came to a compromise where i only dressed at weekends. As time progressed and the dust settled, i find that i can dress anytime i want to. But here lies a paradox. Now i can dress anytime, i am finding myself dressing less. I put it down to the fact i am no longer under any ‘pressure’ to dress, by this, i mean i dont have to wait till weekend anymore. Before, if i didnt dress at weekend, i had to wait for the following weekend which was ages so i made sure no matter what….. i dressed. Now its a case of ‘on demand’. I can go for 2 weeks without dressing then maybe dress 3 or 4 days in a row.
Has anyone else experienced this?
Fiona-Ann Moss xx
my dressing frequency varies depending on my availability of time. I seem to like having a longer period of time to want to be dressed rather than just for an hour or two. My desire to dress varies as well. Don’t have an answer as to why it is stronger at times than others.
I guess jI just go with dressing when the urge arises and I know no one will be stopping by.
As I travel along this transgender path, I learn more vocabulary to describe things that I didn’t know I needed describe a few years earlier. I am comfortable now describing myself as non-binary. I don’t really identify with cis-males nor cis-females. I’m something else. When I first started dressing I was amazed how nice it felt to be all dolled up in wig, heels, makeup and a dress. Over time, I have worked to “normalize” my abnormal life. Everyday I wear things that would be considered female, but usually they are everyday clothes, t-shirts, jeans, hoodies. The more I normalize, or mainstream my non-binary life, the less I am inclined to put on the wig, heels, makeup and dress just for the fun of it. I still like dressing up, but its usually just for special occasions, like most cis-females. I’ve always thought that I wanted just one closet, and that is what I have now. At one end of the closet are a couple suits that I can wear to weddings where I don’t want to take attention away from the anyone else. At the other end of the closet are some dresses that I will probably only wear a few times. In the middle are all manner of clothes that are functional, comfortable and consistent with how I feel inside.
Hi Robyn. Yes, i have gone down so many Roads and Avenues, telling myself maybe i present as this, that and the other. I have come to the conclusion that you are what you are comfortable with, badges are not necessary. I am definately not a full on male, thats for sure but i do still have a few traits here and there. I have found however that the older i get the more the Male side diminishes, not sure if this has been experienced by anyone else but i certainly have.
I think its perfectly normal to question oneself regarding what Gender you are (if any) and i must admit you can tie yourself in knots going through the countless variations that there currently are. I am just me whatever way i choose to present myself, it shouldnt be out for question, just a personal choice.
With love, Fiona xx
Fiona-Ann,
From your post it seems that you are comfortable being either your female or male self. For you, now that the pressure is off, it’s kind of like reaching equilibrium. You easily move back & forth between the two, spending a much time with one as feels comfortable.
Interestingly, I too am perfectly comfortable being either a male or female, no gender dysphoria. But for me, I so much prefer the way I feel inside when dressed that it has resulted in me dressing 95% of my time as a woman. It feels so natural. I can’t go more than 2 days in a row drab. Just not possible.
Fiona
Hi Fiona, i wouldnt say comfortable being in my Male guise but more of a necessity owing to my personal circumstances, However i dont despise it totally. Certain aspects, yes such as Male clothes shopping (thats so boring i’d rather walk around stark naked…) , i did even consider at one point if i was Gender fluid but the Female part of me is much more dominant than the Male side. It all sounds confusing, i know but its putting it all into meaningful words that make sense.
Fiona xx
Hi fiona,
Yes i experienced this aswell qhen i told my partner when we fot together 10years ago i was dressing weekly then stopped for a few months ovwr covid i didnt dress at all but i recently told my best friend and i want to dress more often again now i am going to my frist professional make over tomorrow. YaaayHi Fiona-Ann, When I finally accepted my intersex condition I switched to wearing all female clothes each day since those are the ones that fit my body best. With that being said, it is rare to see me all girly and most likely you will find me in jeans, ponytail and a flannel shirt. If you had x-ray vision you would know that my underwear is just rather plain and functional and fits my body and daily activities. I don’t think at all about putting my bra and panty on in the morning except to know that it’s clean, functional and doesn’t call attention to me. If I glam up like for a dinner or dance, I will switch up my clothing accordingly and wear heels, slinky dresses and my black pushup bra. Otherwise it’s just a regular day with no excitement and no standing out adornment for me. I want and need to be able to do my daily work without distraction from my clothes, just like most of the women of the world. I hope that this helps you. Marg
I can understand that for sure when I was working full time and had kids at home I would have to plan when to dress and only once or twice a year then it was really quick or for a short amount of time. It progressed a little and was easier when they got older to just get a room at night suggested by my wife then I could take my time and not have to rush my dressing did this a few times a year but still had to be planned. Now that I am retired with just my wife and I it has worked even better as out of respect to wife I let her know that I am going to dress she was working away from home for awhile but now has a work from home job. She then has let me know ok go ahead twice over the las two years she asked that I wait till the next day or the weekend. The weekend she asked me to wait till she made us a nice dinner with wine made me feel acceptance from her when she did that. We have taken steps forward and some back as she tolerates April well at times and other times not as well. I understand that and try to dress when the urge is greater and feel the desire and need to do so last year was 20 times total with 14 being at home. The urgency to dress has found a balance as I now understand that if I cant one day then I will be able to the next day or within a couple of days. My wife is the only family that knows and she is my second wife nit the mother of my children even though she has been a better mother than their birth mother. My desire does increase before I go to scheduled CD events where I have the opportunity to dress in public. I have enjoyed and appreciate the balance now then what I had a few years back fir sure.
Its pretty common. I suppose that once a person gains the freedom to express oneself without constrains, then one’s desire to dress can be satisfied. Its like water. You need it, of course, to live. And when you have little or nothing to drink, water becomes all you can think about. But even a thirsty person will drink only what they need.
I had similar experiences in the past. When I was in university with roommates I’d dress every chance I had some alone time or when I went to bed. When I moved out on my own I dressed much less frequently. When I got married I stopped altogether for many years but now that I’m dressing again I am always looking forward to that next day or weekend alone.
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