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In another thread on the site I mentioned that I had decided yesterday to paint my nails before work, just as a way of expressing Jessica’s identity while still in my male clothing and persona.
Without wanting to hijack someone else thread entirely I figured I’d share this story here. So yesterday was a resounding success in short. Several people noticed and commented that the nails looked great, and not one person commented negatively (whether because they didnt notice or because they didnt care I don’t know).
Today, and I’ll never know what made me do it I decided to try my luck. I slipped a dress and a pair of tights in my bag, and wandered to work. I never really expected to be able to bring myself to wear them, but I figured even knowing they were there and that it was an option was something.
When I got to work, I went to the bathroom, and slipped into the outfit. Looking at myself in the stall I felt all the pangs of fear of potential rejection or derision. I text my partner, who is supportive of my dressing, and told her, but even as I did so suddenly like a wave of just…rebellion I guess… swept over me, and I decided to hell with it. Its now or never.
I walked confidently out of the bathroom and into the office, dress and tights clearly on view, and went and sat at my desk.
As the day went by several people came over and told me I looked great, and one guy actually said he couldn’t believe the courage it took to express myself, and that he wished he could have had the same courage!!!
The one vague negative comment wasn’t even at me, I heard it second hand. One of the women in the office had apparently seen me and said to my friend “Ugh, what is the office coming to?”, at which point apparently THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE all turned to her and said “Why? Its his life, he looks good, let him be.”
I cannot tell you the elation I felt all day, and especially when I heard that others had come to my side. I wasn’t fully femme’d, I was decidedly a man in a dress rather than presenting as a female per se, but man oh man was this further than I ever honestly thought I’d be able to go in public. Its because of you ladies here, and the support I’ve received from my partner and a few other close friends since coming out as gender-fluid that allowed me to take what was 100% private and behind closed doors even a few weeks ago and push me to open up, and allow my whole self to show. I can’t even say how happy I am tonight.
Congratulations Jessica. You’ve made a bold statement and people have responded with respect. Now you just subtly need to let people know that you are willing to talk about it as well, that you want what you wear to be as much or as little of ordinary conversation as anyone else’s attire. That’s how barriers and misunderstanding are broken down.
Well done. You have had a positive effect on people around you.
Wow that’s a wonderful story Jessica I’m so happy for you. The closest I’ve come to dressing out in the public domain is driving in my car. Even then I was a nervous wreck at first. After a while I began to adopt the attitude that it’s my life, it’s not illegal & I’ll dress as a woman if I like. A co-worker (female) once said to me if a man wants to be a woman he should be a woman! Good advice but I still can’t bring myself to follow it in public. You go girl
Pauline xx
You have amazing co-workers. I used to have a job but I don’t now because my engineering classes at college are demanding but when I did have one at college it was a call center. If I had still been working there after ordering my 1st wave of feminine clothes I would’ve been way too scared to go to work like that even though there was another guy who I once saw in the break room wearing a skirt. I admire your courage a lot.
Great story, thanks for sharing. You’re also fortunate to work an a place that’s lax enough on its dress code rules to allow you to wear those things.
I have to echo the other, this is a great story. I’ve told many other CDs that more and more people are accepting, or totally indifferent. Although I’ve reached the age of being able to say the hell with what others think more often, I don’t know if I have the courage you showed. Good for you Jessica. BTW, love your name. 😉
Way to go Jessica! Be the girl you want to be!
Hugs,
Sally
I underdressed at work for years, would always wear panties, pantyhose, bras, painted toes to work underneath my suit. One day on my break i really wanted to paint ny toes again so i went into the unisex barthroom and started painting. I didn’t lock the door however and then the new respetionist opened the door and saw everything.
Hi Jessica,
I know its December and you posted this in august,I just saw it.I just wanted to add my encouragement and tell you I think you are an incredible person.
Don’t pay attention to the behind your back remarks they are cowards and a lot of times I think they want to be where you are.
Thank you for being who you are
Patty-
Good on you Jessica. Gives hope to me and no doubt others should the right circumstances occur.
Rachel
Well done Jess, so proud of you. Especially fantastic to hear such acceptance in the workplace here in the the UK. The more of us who just dress as we want in public the more ‘normal’ it will become. I think a lot of men would love to explore womenswear more but just too scared. Seeing the likes of you putting on a dress, looking fab and getting compliments will encourage more to just go for it.
love
B
Today was different than the last few years. No gray Hanes under my duty uniform. At least I had some of my feminine side. Found an old pair of mens briefs! Awful feeling but the events in our country have changed the fire/rescue service! This will resolve. We answer all calls if your positive for Corona V we are rolling to get you! A structure fire we are rolling to get you out! I have a lot of years experience and others come first but at present i/we are more comfortable in a structure fire with 112 additional hours of training every year than a virus we don’t have many answers. I don’t want to be in hospital where my wife can’t even bring my favorite panties! I have plenty of masks and gloves in my pants pockets!
I do know this! All firefighters in all cities, counties and country will come to your aid..all firefighters are family! Sorry to get off subject but I miss my gray Hanes! I work 24 hours on. Vanity Fair in am!
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