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    • #506852
      Anonymous

      OK.  I’m certainly dysphoric.  I mean, I’m not actually confused about which gender I AM; I’m confused about which gender I WANT TO BE.

      IF I could go completely fem full time without destroying the people I love, I would probably do it.  But I still feel like my male identity would NEVER disappear.

      HeLP!  Anyone else in this boat?

    • #506858
      Anonymous

      I’m there with you. I genuinely don’t care about being male or female but I like and would like to go full femme or whatever when I feel like it. People are just ignorant.

      • This reply was modified 2 years ago by Prudence.
    • #509008
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess

      Hi Elisa. I to am dysphoric, I to know what gender I am. I know what gender I want to be. If it were acceptable to just enough of the people closest to me I would present as a woman and want to be treated as one for 80 to 95% of the time.
      . . Sandy

      • #509345
        Krissy
        Lady

        Totally get that,as im unsure what gender i am? Most days i present as a female but do have days as a man and im totally unsure what i prefer some days 😌

    • #509013
      Anonymous
      Lady

      Why does it have to be only one way or the other? Sometimes I feel like I want to live as a female and other times I want to live as a male. It would be great if we could just decide which one we wanted to be and present each morning when we woke up and no one would care.

      • #520490
        Anonymous

        That would be amazing for sure.

        — Abbie 🥰

    • #509030
      Anonymous

      The people that you love ever talked to them in manner without giving away to much. Never know they may accept you as yourself and true nature.

    • #509044
      Isa
      Lady

      This sounds similar to how I feel. I would definitely go more feminine  physically if it wouldn’t affect my everyday life.
      my marriage is the most important aspect to me. My wife has been very supportive and encouraging but she has lines I will not cross. I respect her on that.

    • #509106

      Sometimes I can feel dysphoric in both directions at once. Gender…Pluto

    • #509108
      Lucia Brown
      Duchess

      I feel much the same girlfriend I used to feel that I would never change my life I just loved to wear women’s clothing when I had a chance I’ve always been a heterosexual.! But I’m older and have been alone half my life due to health issues I nearly died, for the latest time in February So I decided to dress as often as I feel like it I even get dolled up when my nurse and my VA provided home health aide comes They love it and are very cool My nurse and I have been to a high class salon and got makeovers together She brings me makeup and skin care items and I have given her high quality parfums twice since March

    • #509125

      I proudly raise my hand.

      I want to be a woman beyond the words I know how to write. I don’t hate being a man at all.

      Spending all of the last 50 years as a frustrated alpha male gets awfully old. I just feel better about life and myself as a woman. I consider myself the oldest 13 year old girl on the planet.

      Love and hugs to all. You especially, Donna,

      Diane

       

       

      • #520461
        Bobbie W
        Lady

        Well said and I agree same here.

    • #509140

      Hi Elisa, I went full time four months ago and feel similar to you in that I don’t hate my male side or resent the body I was born in. I have struggled at points, especially when it came to getting rid of my male clothing. At this point Stevie Steiner told me, we don’t lose our male our male sides it just doesn’t get the last say. I still know everything he taught me and love similar things to him. He’ll always be around, but I can’t see him going out any time soon. I’m still  a wind-up merchant, especially at work, love inuendos, am far too loud sometimes and have a decent competitive streak. All things I got from Chris. I just look a lot prettier now.

      Love Trisha

      Ps Stevie if you read this you are an absolute angel.

       

       

       

       

       

    • #509336

      I can fully relate to your post. That is how I usually feel. If I could wakeup fully female I would in a heart beat. Then I am also afraid I might miss myself. I also know many in my life would suddenly be absent. I guess that makes me a little confused

    • #512718

      No, you are definitely not alone.

      I’m working hard at finding a place in my life where who I was can exist peacefully with who I’m becoming, and perhaps even a stronger and more whole human being.

    • #520486
      Anonymous

      Sometimes I think that word could describe most of us to one degree or another. On a more personal note, my struggles with finding the balance of wanting more and ending up with less are a daily thing. And because of that I’m always trying to push things a little. She wants her man, I want to express the feminine side of me. At first I would take the pads out of the sports bras that I wear every evening. I no longer do that and she seems ok with it. As long as she doesn’t see anything outright then its ok. My dysphoria has smoothed out some but I still want more. 💕💋 Katie

    • #520489
      Anonymous

      Yes, same boat here Elisa. I’m living this week 100% as Abbie and before that I’d been suffering in her absence for about a month but that month reminded me that being a guy is great sometimes. I seem to need Abbie about 3-4 days a week optimally, which leaves 3-4 days as my male presenting self. I am mildly dysphoric for sure but I can’t see making the transition permanent, at my age and my male entanglements/relationships it would be hard (I know some ladies find the strength to do it anyway). My Niece just transitioned (MTF) and that was positive but honestly I’d want to know that I could go back if I wanted to before committing. It leaves us in a weird position though, we have to make peace with that duality instead of embracing one or the other. Find room for your Abbie in your male world. That’s a challenge in itself…

       

      — Abbie 🥰

    • #520517

      So I’m getting to experience this from a couple of perspectives right now.

      First, as a long term closeted crossdresser who grew up in an era where “transition” was unheard of and cross dressing (or transvestism, as they called it) was considered a mental illness. Thankfully, I didn’t have dysphoria and didn’t hate my male persona. I did often wish I was female and used to fantasize about making a wish before I went to bed and waking up the next morning as a girl. But, I also enjoyed my life as an alpha male with a career, family and friends who I cherish. In a perfect world, there would be a switch I could flick to change my gender at will.

      Now I’m getting to see it as the father of a transgender teen who is suffering greatly from dysphoria and who will be transitioning.  His experience has been far different than mine as I saw the self loathing with his female body from an early age. It got really bad a few years ago when he started going through puberty. Now, with the help of his psychiatrist and therapist, he knows what he needs to do. And, thankfully, all of our family and friends have been supportive.

      So, I say, do what your heart tells you. If that means full transition, then go for it. If it means being fluid and going back and forth as needed, then do that. If it means staying in the closet like me, and only coming out on special occasions, then do that. But do what makes you happiest. Life is just too damn short!

      Hugs,

      Elise

    • #520547

      Hi Elisa Have you ever thought about contacting a psychiatrist to help with your dysphoria. They have done wonders for so many people in your position. Dysphoria can be a very dangerous and should not be treated lightly. There are those who are willing to change the way the brain works by changing the hormone levels just to get some relief from their dysphoria. Others even decide to change their sex organs just to get relief from dysphoria. Then their are those who are not spoken much about here have decided suicide is the only way to get relief. Most here a simple cross dressers that may experience some dysphoria time to time. We enjoy expressing our selves in the feminine gender some times and in private others want to to express them selves full time all the time. Their is no confusion about our gender before we express our selves and no confusion after. Some of us have the ability to think in both genders because they have worked at it but they are still not confused. It just becomes more exciting and fun. Just some thing to think about.

      Stephanie

    • #520568

      HI Elisa I totally understand where your coming from.

      If my life would allow me to be full femme without hurting the ones I love I would however I have built a life around being male and Im not sure I can handle being full time female.

      I sure would like to try but when something needed to get done I think my male side would pop out.

      Very confusing .

      But a good problem to have I guess,as I would never give up my femme side.

      Patty

    • #520599
      Anonymous

      It sounds familiar, Elisa. Like you, I’m a husband and a father; both “forever” identities. But I’m also Bettylou, a socially trans girl, an identity which has nothing to do with sex. Is this dysphoria? If you are content being husband and dad, and at the same time content with being Elisa, then I would say “no”. You CAN be both at the same time, and although transitioning is in many ways desirable, it is NOT essential to your identity as a trans girl; not unless you make it so.
      FULL DISCLOSURE: IMO, you do need an understanding and accepting wife in order to live this dual role (which I am blessed to say I have).

      Hugs,
      Bettylou

    • #525657
      Allison M
      Lady

      I understand what you mean. I’d love to fully transition and live my life as the woman I know that I am, but my responsibilities as a husband and father keep me from doing so.  I try to incorporate little things that only I know about that help me feel more like me. I underdress a lot, especially in cooler months. I usually wear an anklet and often paint my toes. Nobody else knows that I so this, but it has been a game changer for me.

    • #509083
      Anonymous

      That how my parents felt when told them about my choices. At first they got upset then after talking they supported my change.  Said would miss the son but said you be gaining a daughter and still be the son.

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