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    • #584962
      Zsazsa Pushkin
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: July 11, 2021
      Topics: 6
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      Yes, while I really enjoy becoming Zsazsa, sometimes the thought of shaving, makeup and makeup removal, retrieving and re-hiding my stash of clothes, and the stress of only having a limited amount of time, is just too much work!

      But I still think about it regularly, and find comfort in this online community and in viewing my past photos.

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    • #584954
      Dani Grand
      Registered On: October 9, 2018
      Topics: 1
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      Good topic Tina. Thanks for this.
      I know I have experienced that ebb and flow before but not so much anymore.
      When I did experience it, I looked at my biorhythms (your life cycles and energies) among other things.
      I expect you may find a correlation here.
      For me, I know that I had odd downs and other things happen when my wife was on her cycle. It’s weird.

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    • #584931
      Jane Plain
      Registered On: January 14, 2021
      Topics: 4
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      Hi, ‘Ebb and Flow’ should be my middle names, however I’m in a long period of flow at the moment. Unfortunately for me it has to be mental rather than actual.

      If I was more free with opportunities I’m sure I would take them. My wife knows but is not supportive, I love her so have to be respectful and control my desires. Sometimes this pushes me to the ebb phase.

      The period I am going through at the moment follows my first public outing fully dressed. What was a flow is now a torrent and I’m finding it difficult to control. I’m sure many have been here.

      Love Jane X.


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    • #584179
      rebekka moore
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
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      Yes of course however, since I have pretty much been “dressing” for the last 3 years, I feel this less and less.

      It’s to a point where when I have to dress in drab, I feel awkward!

      Love it!

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    • #584094
      Julie (Jules) Anderson
      Registered On: February 9, 2021
      Topics: 3
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      Great question, Tina!

      Yes, I “ebb & flow” all the time, sometimes during the same day.
      Hum…, for many reasons, I suppose. And sometimes for no apparent reason at all.

      Some reasons: feeling tired or worn-out, unexpected time constraints, unexpected visitors or events, you name it…

      Only piece of advice is do NOT purge! If I was ever to feel the urge to purge, I’ve promised myself just to pack up all my Jules “stuff” and put it in storage. Why? Because I know I’ll be wanting to dress again sooner rather than later…

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    • #584083
      Carla Roberts
      Registered On: July 28, 2021
      Topics: 1
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      In the last 10 years or so, I have been pretty much free to dress as I please and I have been especially fortunate to be able enjoy going out. I typically dress very casual when staying in, and styling my hair and earrings, are about it around the house. Covid really put a damper on my public activities until the spring and summer, but once I felt safe to go out again, I wasn’t busting down the door to get out. For me, going out means full makeup is in order, and while I do enjoy the freedom and validation of being out, I think I became quite satisfied with the simply feeling femme, rather than getting out and putting in the extra effort. I will say my wife has been somewhat amused to observe this, as she says it’s a natural girl thing to slow down the effort be dolled up in later years.
      Now, having said this, I think I need to up my game make use of all the girly things I have, so it isn’t wasted.

    • #583990
      Chloé Rian
      Registered On: September 4, 2021
      Topics: 5
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      I definitely go through ebbs & flows when it comes to full dressing & makeup. I think that’s natural for me though. Some days I wake up and I feel femme and can’t wait to get all dolled up and let Chloé out. Other days I wake up and feel more masculine and am content to hang out in jeans and a t-shirt.

      That being said, I wear panties 99% of the time, so I always have a bit of underdressing going on.


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    • #583904
      Trisha Smith
      Registered On: August 24, 2020
      Topics: 31
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      Happens to me all the time. Usually in short stints. My advise, never ever ever purge.



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    • #582346
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      reading the replies, I was beginning to feel a bit freaky….I have never tired of dressing…it’s just as exhilarating now as it ever was….probably more so now because I have a bigger, better wardrobe….

      I agree with Celeste, you don’t need the ” works  ” all the time….how many GG’s do??….but getting into panties and bra is just so natural now….after all, we have to dress in something!!…

      Grace xx


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    • #582337
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 14
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      Hi Tina!

      Oh yes! For me, it’s the shaving. Good Gawd, is it that time again? Do I really wanna to get all dressed up and femmy today? So much work. Sigh…

      I always LOVE the final feminine outcome (even if my mirror is horrified), but I despise shaving. I can’t and just won’t put on my silkies with any abrasive resistance. Ick!

      I can do my entire body in a reasonable amount of time with a good razor and gel foam, but I’m now getting impatient and complacent.

      A couple of days ago, I scraped a nipple with my razor and it stung and bleed like crazy! And it stung for a day or two afterwards, but only when I played with it. Interestingly, the bleeding stopped almost immediately! I wonder if this is a defence mechanism for over-aggressive infant sucklers or horny partners? Hmm….

      Hugs, Barb 🤗



      • This reply was modified 1 month ago by Barb Wire.
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    • #582326
      Charlene Victoria
      Registered On: November 29, 2016
      Topics: 27
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      Ebb and flow happens in many aspects of life does it not. If you are a gardener spring is a flow time, by mid summer the gardening passion seems to ebb. For many a man deer hunting or fishing or golfing all come with ebb and flow. In my circle of life woman have this same experience. Holiday season is flowctime for baking. Other times it is hard to get a Betty Crocker out-of-the-box cake baked by them. House cleaning? Spring is the flow season, winter definitely the ebb.

      In the ebb time does the gardener pull out their prize dinner plate dahlias and trash them; does the deer hunter trash his custom made compound bow; the golfer drop his clubs at Goodwill?

      No. What do they all have in common? They put that part of life aside a wait until the flow returns. “Put that part of life aside” is personally defined, but rarely if ever does it include “purge.”

      This is not to imply that our personal feminity is but a hobby, but I do know plenty of hunters who claim that, “I hunt because that’s just who I am.” (Hmmmm. . . . that’s sounds familarly like the reason I crave feminine expression)

      In the ebb, understand that it happens; don’t purge, just go with the flow until the flow starts again.



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    • #582320
      Registered On: October 13, 2019
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      Hi Tina,
      I’ve always likened it to the tide.
      The tide rolls in and I can’t wait to get into a bra and panties. The tide rolls out and I just can’t be bothered.
      I always feel the undercurrent, however. I know that inevitably the tide will rise again.

      Hugs, Jillian

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    • #582312
      Connie Twirl
      Registered On: August 18, 2021
      Topics: 16
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      I can’t dress anywhere near as much as I would like, but even so I get times when I feel I probably couldn’t be bothered even if I had the option. It’s sort of cyclic, but not in any way I can pin down.

      If I could dress whenever I wanted, I wonder if I’d feel the same way? Am I just protecting myself from the frustration I feel at present?

      Anyway, don’t purge. Things change. I hope.



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    • #582306
      Raquel Smith
      Registered On: August 26, 2021
      Topics: 8
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      Tina, are there some external stresses in your life, unrelated to crossdressing? Work, financial, etc.?

      I’ve found that these things, unintentionally, tend to dampen my urges. If the stresses pertain to crossdressing, on the other hand, they intensify my urges.

      Maybe try to identify them and find some way to alleviate them. I know, easier said than done.

      If so, hope you find some peace.

      Much love,

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    • #582142
      Regine Kelly
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 44
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      Sorry, but the longest I have “ebbed is one evening, but I still wore my panties and bra. I have been femme, since the day I accepted myself, in one form or another
      Hugs, Regi👸💖

      • This reply was modified 1 month ago by Regine Kelly. Reason: spelling
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      • #582345
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        you are not tidal honey….you are a Regi tsunami!!! xx

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    • #581973
      Registered On: October 10, 2021
      Topics: 1
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      Dear Tina ,

      Speaking for myself , there are times when
      “the pink fog” , as it is referred to her on CDH , is stronger than at other times.
      The exact reasons for this I don’t now , I can only guess , and may vary from one person to another probably.
      But the need to dress for me , has been , and always will be there.
      So purging I have never done . and will never do in the future.

      Love Sylvia.

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    • #581967
      Joanne Jackson
      Registered On: May 26, 2020
      Topics: 3
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      >> where they just don’t want to dress enfemme,

      Hi Tina,

      Not in a long, long time.
      Thanks for asking.


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    • #581952
      Robyn Drake
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: March 19, 2019
      Topics: 52
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      Hi Tina,

      I wonder if it would help to think about clothes in a non-binary way. You could think about developing your sense of fashion and appropriate expression in ways that are not completely male or completely female. Just be you.

      – Robyn

    • #581948
      Celeste Starre
      Registered On: June 26, 2018
      Topics: 45
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      There are certainly lots of times I don’t want to bother going all out with full makeup etc.

      However when it comes to just getting dressed there is no more effort to putting on women’s clothing than there is men’s so I always go with women’s.

    • #581933
      Julie (Jules) Anderson
      Registered On: February 9, 2021
      Topics: 3
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      Hi Tina!
      Yes, over thirty years I’ve purged and bought, purged and bought countless times.
      Even now, I’ll have periods of just not “feeling it”. Why? Many reasons: health, commitments, seasons, ???, etc.
      But now, after understanding that I, Jules is a real and authentic, I know that those feeling are only temporary.
      So, as other have said, don’t purge, just set your precious “stuff” aside for when Tina is ready to be girlie.
      If like me, Tina is an authentic part of the whole YOU, she’ll let you know when she needs some “girl time”.
      When she does, go with it, enjoy it, and embrace “her”.

    • #581932
      Laura Lovett
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
      Topics: 37
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      I did experience ebbs and flows until about 3 years ago, when I went out fully as Laura for the first time.

      That experience showed me that it’s way more than just wanting to dress up – it felt exactly like there is another person inside me who has been trying to get out for more than half a century.

      That may not be the case for everyone, but, for the overwhelming majority, it seems purging is not only futile and a waste of money, but a potential cause of regret.

      Regrets are a waste of anybody’s mental effort and time, so any that can be avoided, should be in my opinion!

      The fact that you are experiencing a deep ebb now, and have experienced flows in the past would indicate that a strong flow might be due – so store the pretty clothes carefully!

      Love Laura


    • #581913
      Michelle McQueen
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
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      Its only normal for many that desires ebb and flow but don’t purge because I assure you at some point the desire will return and probably stronger than before.

      Myself, desire to dress seemed to come and go more often when I was younger but as I’ve matured and accepted this as a permanent part of myself I’m at a point where I have to do something every day to express my femininity or I feel something missing.

    • #581909
      Katie Plowright
      Registered On: October 15, 2021
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      My only advise is just packed them away safely, do not purge just place them out of sight for awhile. The pink fog will appear again. 💋💋

    • #582365
      Natalie Jones
      Registered On: September 20, 2020
      Topics: 1
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      I completely understand the whole ebb n flow things. For me the last several years have been more ebb than flow. I underdress with panties most work days and some times on the weekends, it’s the only thing my wife will accept and she doesn’t know it’s every workday. I last purged 10 yrs ago. In the years since I’ve built back a nice panty collection but have kept everything else to a minimum. One skirt , two tops, one pair of heels .. you get it.
      No forms, wigs or makeup. I’ve always loved the clothes and the feeling wearing them , but it just doesn’t fit into my lifestyle often. I grew tired of the secret stash and the rushed moments I got to dress. I often dressed to relieve stress but sometime it brought on more. Will my feelings change , I don’t know. But I’ll be retiring soon and have even less chance to dress or even underdress.
      Right now I’m fine with how it is with me. We can read here at CDH about what all the other girls are doing and feel envious , that’s natural. It’s also an outlet for me to an extent. I’m happy for all the girls who get to live the life but I don’t let it bother me that I can’t. Don’t feel bad , try not to purge and live the best life you can

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