- October 1, 2023 at 2:06 pm #769795Ellie DavisParticipantRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Since I joined CDH, I’ve said a few times in posts that:
a). my makeup skills are pretty diabolical and
b). I haven’t yet had a professional makeover.
A few budding Columbos have looked at my profile picture and concluded, perhaps understandably, that either I’m fibbing about the whole makeover thing, or else I’m being very modest about my skills with brushes and powders *spoiler: no, I really am pretty terrible*.
However, an Ellie never lies. So here is the story behind my profile pic.
It also goes some way towards explaining why I was smiling so much when the photo was taken.
The picture is from the ONLY time I’ve ever been fully made up by someone else, and it happened under pretty strange circumstances.
I work as a teacher in a secondary school. UK schools are currently embracing diversity: race, gender, religion, cultural traditions, you name it. It’s a very positive development. A few years ago, we had a very active LGBQT+ group in our sixth form. They decided to hold an event to promote awareness, and also to raise funds for the charity ‘Mermaids’. Mermaids offers help and counselling to transgender, nonbinary and gender-diverse children and their parents; it was a cause well worth supporting.
The idea that the students came up with was to ask some of the male teachers if they would dress as women for a full school day, with female teachers dressing as men. Because I’m always up for helping with charity projects, I was one of the first people that they approached.
I went through the whole ’protesting’ thing but secretly my heart was racing.
There was one sixth form girl, Isabel, who had ambitions to go on to be a makeup artist. Eventually she did; she now works in the film industry. Because of her outside interests, she had access to lots of wigs (some that she’d collected and some from our Drama department) and of course a full range of makeup. Isabel was let loose on the male staff – from memory there were five of us.
And Isabel turned out to be very, very good at what she did.
I can remember every moment of her doing my makeup, how nervous I felt but also how wonderful it was.
Then the wig went on.
It couldn’t have suited me any better than it did.
I remember looking in the mirror and being shocked, in the most wonderful way, by my own reflection. I hadn’t bargained on seeing the person who was looking wide-eyed back at me, but I absolutely recognised her. I’d never properly seen myself as Ellie before; it cemented my mental image of who I am. It felt like tectonic plates had shifted. I’ve seen myself that way ever since.
Isabel took what is now my profile picture immediately after she’d finished working on me. I couldn’t stop smiling, as you can clearly see :)
The girls also raided the Drama department costume cupboard so they could dress us. The clothes weren’t necessarily what I would have picked, but I didn’t want to give myself away by actively choosing things. Then, fully dressed and made up, I went to teach my normal lessons. I got called ’Miss’ all day and was considered a very good sport. I kept thinking ‘If only they knew how incredible this is making me feel’ …
I don’t count the experience as ‘being dressed in public’ (so I wouldn’t yet claim to have been out in the real world en femme). It felt more like acting a part on stage. Still … WOW.
!sabel was on hand at the end of the day to undo her handiwork, and remove the makeup. The other male staff were keen to get rid of their own warpaint, but I had loved it a little too much. A fundamental part of me didn’t want the whole experience to end, but I obviously couldn’t tell Isabel that! Submerged in the pink fog, I caught myself gabbling some unconvincing nonsense about having to get home quickly so … um … thanks but I could … er …take it off at home … you know … it isn’t a problem. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I could tell that she had read me and knew EXACTLY where I was coming from. Girls of that age are absolutely packed with intuition. I remember her giving me an appraising look followed by a slightly quizzical little smile.
I’d had to leave that wonderful, wonderful wig at school, because it would have looked seriously strange if I’d driven off with it There wouldn’t have been any convincing way to explain that one! Unsurprisingly however, I just happened to have another one at home. What are the chances? It wasn’t as good as the one I’d been wearing during the day, but the moment I got home, after scurrying up the drive so the neighbours wouldn’t see me in full make up, I took it out of the closet. My hands were trembling as I put it on and adjusted it.
I looked at myself in the mirror and felt a huge surge of emotion, accompanied by an actual physical jerk somewhere in my midriff. It was almost like someone had punched me in the gut. It felt like Ellie, who I was kind of suppressing at the time, was fighting to get out.
I went and laid flat on my bed and stared at the ceiling trying to make sense of it all.
I must have lain there for about an hour. Thankfully, since I live on my own, there was no possibility of being disturbed. My thoughts and feelings were all over the place. Eventually I got up and dressed as fully, as tastefully as I could … almost out of respect for how I was suddenly feeling. I spent the rest of the evening in a kind of dream-like state, unable to really settle and filled with a mixture of elation and confusion. I couldn’t make sense of what was happening to me. All I knew was that I totally loved it.
Eventually of course I had to take the makeup off and switch back to boy mode. I felt quite tearful doing it.
Overnight I worried and worried about what Isabel might have said to her friends. I fully expected to arrive in school the next morning with the whole student body gossiping about me. However, I had seriously underestimated her. She didn’t tell a soul, but every time she passed me in the corridor after that she gave a sort of conspiratorial wink. It made me squirm inside every time she did it, but of course part of me also loved it.
I think I’m going to have flashbacks about that day for the rest of my life!
- This topic was modified 2 months ago by Ellie Davis. Reason: Dammit ... despite all my diligence, a typo
Total of 62 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- October 17, 2023 at 8:57 am #773529PerseLadyRegistered On: May 20, 2023Topics: 3Replies: 48Has thanked: 104 timesBeen thanked: 121 times
- October 16, 2023 at 12:03 pm #773236Sarah KanterLadyRegistered On: April 25, 2019Topics: 25Replies: 292Has thanked: 700 timesBeen thanked: 1785 times
Such a great story. I remember in high school wishing for some excuse like this to dress up. Wishing there was a fundraiser or a spirit week activity where cross dressing was involved. It never happened, but I always thoughts about it. Not that I wanted to see my teachers dress up, I just wanted to dress up.
- October 17, 2023 at 10:54 am #773548Ellie DavisDuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I’d never heard of Spirit Week. It isn’t a thing here in the UK, so I had to Google it. Thank you for educating me!
I doubt that another opportunity like this will present itself during what remains of my teaching career, so I’m glad that I was able to make the most of it when it came along :)
- October 16, 2023 at 11:55 am #773235RobinLadyRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 63Has thanked: 280 timesBeen thanked: 193 times
I’m yet another person who read your words and melted inside. Like everyone else, I’m in awe of your opportunity, as well as the jolt to your midriff and the inner peace you seem to be feeling. But your beautiful photo isn’t the most important part I want to reply about – your words reveal a gentle, kind, artistic spirit. Dissemble all you want about your physical prettiness, but it’s clear you’re absolutely beautiful inside. Your pupils are lucky! Take very good care of yourself, Mermaid :)
And let us know when your first book comes out!
- October 17, 2023 at 10:48 am #773544DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Honestly … thank you so much for that.
That’s one of the sweetest replies I’ve ever had, so much so that I don’t really know what to say in return. So, somewhat uncharacteristically for me, I’ll just sit here quietly :)
I’m feeling quite loved right now.
PS The other side of me already has several books out, but Ellie is currently working on one in her own right. Exciting times!
- October 15, 2023 at 4:16 am #772964Jennifer ConnollyDuchessRegistered On: November 27, 2022Topics: 22Replies: 262Has thanked: 739 timesBeen thanked: 1890 times
Hi Ellie. I just loved your story and during my many years of working I’d always secretly wished that that there had been an opportunity for someone to make me over into a woman, but sadly that never happened.
When I finally had the opportunity to start doing my own makeup, I spent a lot of time looking at YouTube videos to help me out. I bought my own prepared makeup kit from a crossdressing site and couldn’t wait to get dressed and fully made up all by my own hands. So, I thought that I was happy with my first time attempts at makeup, and took a few photos to document the process. I’ll have to admit that while I had fun doing it, I’d never share any of those photos with anyone ever! Looking at the photos now, I looked something like a cross between Cochise and Sitting Bull, with the wrong wig, hair and makeup. I used an AI app to see what I could transform into, and finally tried to emulate those artificially generated photos. Then one fateful night after lots of practice, I thought that I got it somewhat right and posted a public photo. The rest as they say is history in my just over a year journey dressing completely.
You’ll get there too, I know, and I look forward to seeing that pretty face in your profile done even better than Isabel did for you.
- October 15, 2023 at 2:31 pm #773069DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I have all the kit assembled and ready … it’s just a matter of practice. Although I dress full time at home I don’t wear make up around the house. The reason I’d like to up my game in that regard is that I’m getting ready to venture out en femme at the moment. I’m growing my hair out, slimming down … beginning to wonder in fact if I’m effectively starting to transition. Shhh … don’t tell anyone.
I’ve ALSO watched lots of YouTube videos, but because I wanted something a little more coherent I signed up for the ‘Stepping Out Secrets’ programme (SOS). While my YouTube-inspired results were, to put it kindly, mixed (although a huge heap of fun nevertheless) there was a massive improvement as soon as I began using SOS. Parts of the package are not so good, but parts are genuinely amazing and the make up module in particular is VERY well thought out.
I love your photos … I’m somewhat taken aback that you’ve only been dressing completely for just over a year, as you seem so expert :)
I’ve been loving the positive comments that I’ve received for this post. They’ve really spurred me on.
- October 14, 2023 at 6:14 pm #772876LeaLadyRegistered On: March 23, 2016Topics: 105Replies: 452Has thanked: 962 timesBeen thanked: 2386 times
That’s such a beautiful story Ellie! So many themes and anecdotes that I think many of us can relate to from either our desires, our feelings, or our experiences.
It must be dream having done that, but also a dream to return to being a mermaid for a day. Like the story of Ariel the mermaid, I love that irony!!
I love how it explains the pretty smiling profile photo!
Thank you for making my day with this wonderful post!
- October 6, 2023 at 5:52 pm #770907Jill QuinnLadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 382Has thanked: 3447 timesBeen thanked: 1786 times
What an absolutely beautiful story! And it so perfectly describes why you look so beautiful and happy in your profile picture. Isabel has a fantastic talent! I’ve looked at your picture many times trying to figure out if there was indeed a man under the makeup, or if it was photoshopped, or just a photo of a genetic woman. Now we all know.
And to be out all day as Ellie?!? That had to be like nine levels of Heaven! Envious, seems too weak to describe how I feel about your experience. Did you have heels or some other form of women’s footwear?
Thank you very much for sharing your wonderful story. It was very heartwarming.
- October 8, 2023 at 2:10 pm #771236DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Well, no, that’s definitely me.
I’ve checked in the mirror, and I can definitely vouch for myself.
I’m immensely flattered that ANYONE would think that it was a picture of a genetic woman. Isabel was amazing, but despite her undoubted wizardry I can still see *insert male name here* looking back at me.
So thank you for saying what you did. You’ve made my week!
As to whether there’s a man under the makeup, that’s up for debate at the moment :)
I actually wore my normal shoes all day. I couldn’t face heels. There was nothing in the drama cupboard that would have fitted me anyway, and pink flags would have been blowing merrily in the breeze wherever I went had I brought in my own.
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Ellie Davis. Reason: The formatting went inexplicably haywire
- October 16, 2023 at 12:07 pm #773237Sarah KanterLadyRegistered On: April 25, 2019Topics: 25Replies: 292Has thanked: 700 timesBeen thanked: 1785 times
Having read through the responses, to this I’ll add that I think you’re very pretty. Your profile pick is one of those where I wonder, “is that really a cross dresser?” I mean, if a GG wants to be here and pretend she’s a cross dresser I don’t care and they’re welcome, but there are some here who definitely look more convincing than others. I usually feel I look reasonably convincing, except for my face. I’d be ecstatic if my face could ever look as pretty as yours in your profile pic. I don’t know if I’d be willing to wipe the make up off!
- October 21, 2023 at 3:20 pm #774506DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I really can’t tell you how flattered I am to be mistaken for a GG, unless of course you mean a horse.
I’m still trying to deal with people calling me pretty. It’s lovely, but I’d never experienced it before joining CDH and I don’t quite know how to respond except by saying thank you :)
I think you look amazing, by the way! I hope that your students know exactly how lucky they are.
- October 11, 2023 at 2:25 pm #772099Jill QuinnLadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 382Has thanked: 3447 timesBeen thanked: 1786 times
As long as you can vouch for yourself, I’ll accept that. It is however, unfair for one man to be that pretty! I’m definitely NOT that pretty by a lloooooooonnggg shot. If I had to judge myself as a man, I’d have to honestly say that I’m mildly handsome at best and that my features do not work well as a woman.
Hugs my friend! Jill
- October 12, 2023 at 2:37 pm #772356DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I’m being absolutely honest when I say that no-one has EVER, in the history of the Universe, referred to me as ‘pretty’. However, please feel free to keep doing it :)
Once again, you’ve taken me by surprise. You’ve given me a lovely warm fuzzy feeling.
I’m off to stand in front of a mirror and look quizzically at my reflection for a few minutes. Then I’m going to try it again, this time with my glasses off, and see if being all blurry helps.
- October 12, 2023 at 7:59 pm #772424Jill QuinnLadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 382Has thanked: 3447 timesBeen thanked: 1786 times
Well Ellie, I’m glad to have made you happy with my absolute honesty. As stupid as it sounds, I keep looking at your photo and my original assessment, that I was looking at a pretty woman, still stands.
- October 14, 2023 at 2:14 pm #772846DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Now I’ve gone all Julia Roberts :)
‘Pretty woman’ is how I feel inside. It isn’t what I see in the mirror, but it’s reassuring that YOU can see it … it gives me a modicum of hope.
PS. I’m not fishing for compliments. I genuinely have quite a poor body image, so your comments have really buoyed me up.
- October 12, 2023 at 6:45 am #772218Lucy BancroftDuchessRegistered On: October 11, 2022Topics: 5Replies: 127Has thanked: 474 timesBeen thanked: 572 times
I totally understand where you’re coming from Jill.
I’ve told Ellie before how beautiful her photo is.
I’m similar to you, although even mildly handsome may be pushing it for me!
The fact is we need Isabel’s phone number
I think there’d be a queue for her services
- October 14, 2023 at 4:06 pm #772863DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
- October 16, 2023 at 5:04 am #773162LadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 382Has thanked: 3447 timesBeen thanked: 1786 times
It’s funny that you should mention your nose, which looks fine from what I can see, but I understand that in profile it can look drastically different. My nose is one of my features that I’ve never had a problem with, aesthetically at least. Function wise it’s very different story. But as Jill, my nose looks too large. I don’t understand how that’s possible but what can a girl do?
- October 17, 2023 at 11:10 am #773556HarrietteLadyRegistered On: April 22, 2023Topics: 16Replies: 982Has thanked: 3517 timesBeen thanked: 2408 times
- October 17, 2023 at 11:15 am #773559DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
- October 16, 2023 at 8:13 am #773195Alison AndersonDuchessRegistered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 18Replies: 1247Has thanked: 981 timesBeen thanked: 5268 times
Makeup. It’s all about optical illusion.
Put bronzer on the sides of the nose, and highlighter/concealer down the center and in a circle on the tip of the nose and then blend everything in. Darker areas appear to be pushed back, lighter areas appear to be pushed forward. So this makes your nose look smaller. It may not help the full-on profile, but otherwise is a technique I have learned.
- October 16, 2023 at 8:43 am #773209LadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 382Has thanked: 3447 timesBeen thanked: 1786 times
- October 12, 2023 at 7:55 pm #772423LadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 382Has thanked: 3447 timesBeen thanked: 1786 times
- October 16, 2023 at 2:23 pm #773277DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
- October 16, 2023 at 4:00 pm #773290
- October 14, 2023 at 2:19 pm #772847DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
If only Isabel knew what she’d started! She could have a whole new career.
The last I heard, she was working at Elstree Studios, having specialised in prosthetic makeup at university. I keep looking out for her on movie credits.
After what she managed on me, she deserves to win an Oscar.
- October 16, 2023 at 5:38 pm #773345LadyRegistered On: July 24, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 382Has thanked: 3447 timesBeen thanked: 1786 times
I hope you see her name soon and that it’s a huge movie that wins lots of awards, especially for her specific type of makeup skills! That would be awesome!!!
- October 14, 2023 at 7:31 am #772763Helen BaxterLadyRegistered On: August 24, 2023Topics: 3Replies: 30Has thanked: 85 timesBeen thanked: 170 times
Ill take that 3rd spot. Mind you unless shes a magician she wont work wonders with this face, she had a great canvas to work with, with Ellie, who clearly undervalues herself and should shine more like the beautiful girl she is (in and outside).
(Note to Ellie: please make cheque payable to cash x)
- October 14, 2023 at 2:24 pm #772848DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Are you serious?
Have you seen your profile photo? Looking good, girl!
(Note to Helen: I thought I’d avoid a cheque this time, in case the authorities come sniffing. The full amount is in a brown envelope, in used notes, in our agreed spot).
- October 4, 2023 at 2:10 pm #770381Tiny TinkerbellLadyRegistered On: May 19, 2023Topics: 3Replies: 137Has thanked: 1530 timesBeen thanked: 539 times
“Some girls have ALL the FUN”, Ellie…you’ll never know how envious I am of you for having this “dream” experience…!!! And the emotion and sensations you have described…??? I don’t doubt that anyone here has not experienced the same in one form or another, through our years of dressing up…it’s that feeling of the pure and innocent joy you get when you are happy to see “the woman that lives deep inside you”…!!! Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful experience with us…!!!
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Tiny Tinkerbell.
- October 6, 2023 at 3:13 pm #770882DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Thank you :)
As you say, I’m sure that many of us have stories to tell about a day when, as they did for me, the stars aligned to give them their own special ‘femme’ experience.
I love your description of the gender euphoria we can experience at such times as being ‘a feeling of pure and innocent joy’ :)
For me, and I’m sure for most of us, that’s exactly what it is; pure and innocent. Personally, I don’t think that there’s anything to be ashamed or embarrassed about in what we do.
If it can give us these blissful moments, where’s the harm in it? Getting others to understand that … well, therein lies the challenge.
- October 4, 2023 at 6:22 am #770303LadyRegistered On: April 22, 2023Topics: 16Replies: 982Has thanked: 3517 timesBeen thanked: 2408 times
- October 7, 2023 at 2:57 pm #771044DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I was fortunate that this happened during a period of my life when I was single.
Otherwise, while I could have argued convincingly to my SO that what took place at school was for charity, everything that happened subsequently could definitely NOT have been quickly explained away.
I’m pretty certain that instead of giving the day space to become the turning point that it was for me, I would have stripped off the makeup at work and then driven home and tried to have a ‘normal’ evening.
Burying the whole experience, and then feeling guilty and ashamed of my feelings for a long while afterwards, would have been tremendously self-destructive.
I’m very glad that things turned out the way they did.
- October 3, 2023 at 10:47 pm #770259Catherine RobertaDuchessRegistered On: June 4, 2023Topics: 1Replies: 235Has thanked: 406 timesBeen thanked: 626 times
What an absolutely wonderful story and so well told!
Very inspiring to read how your enfemme and crossdressing self emerged in this unexpected way.
Yes, had to protest being made up, reminds me of a Shakespear quote, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks” is a line from the play Hamlet by William Shakespeare. :-)
Yet anything for charity right? :-)
I believe you are on a path where you will match that photo and dare I say surpass it! :-)
Again, great story, just a wonderful read and thanks for sharing it with us!
- October 6, 2023 at 11:42 am #770857DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I’m actively working on the whole make up thing, as you know.
I remain hopeful. I’ve already bought the polyfilla, trowel and several grades of sandpaper. I feel as though I’m well on my way.
- October 7, 2023 at 12:02 pm #771018Catherine RobertaDuchessRegistered On: June 4, 2023Topics: 1Replies: 235Has thanked: 406 timesBeen thanked: 626 times
I am absolutely confident in time you will rock makeup like you are rocking everything else.
Brings great joy to see how your journey is progressing this year!
- October 6, 2023 at 11:47 am #770859LadyRegistered On: April 22, 2023Topics: 16Replies: 982Has thanked: 3517 timesBeen thanked: 2408 times
Forget the Quick-Set cement.
It won’t go well.
- October 6, 2023 at 11:58 am #770860DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
On reflection, you’re probably right. Thanks for the reality check.
So, what do you think?
That’s more flexible, plus it’s on offer on Amazon. Win win.
As long as I don’t smile, or indeed make any facial expression at all, it should stay in place for a good 24 hours.
- October 3, 2023 at 8:52 pm #770252Natalie DaneDuchessRegistered On: May 8, 2022Topics: 10Replies: 320Has thanked: 2153 timesBeen thanked: 1426 times
Oh, Ellie. What a wonderful story!
Seems like I’m not the only one who collapsed on the bed after being out in public for the first time.
That feeling of getting home and being able to let your emotions loose is such a powerful feeling. Isn’t it?
Hope your next makeover is albe to recreate “the look”. Better yet, maybe the next makeup artist can top the prior makeover?
We’ll all wait to see what Ellie 2.0 has to display for the world.
- October 5, 2023 at 10:46 pm #770742DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I guess that home provided a safe space in which to let all the emotions out, and at least try to make sense of them – something I couldn’t do while I was still at school.
Ellie 2.0 is a nice thought; what you’ll possibly get is Ellie 0.5 or 0.6.
1 user thanked author for this post.
- October 3, 2023 at 2:40 pm #770221DaniLadyRegistered On: March 22, 2022Topics: 6Replies: 86Has thanked: 895 timesBeen thanked: 460 times
- October 5, 2023 at 1:50 pm #770696DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Thanks Dani :)
It was a very emotional day and it all became a bit overwhelming after I got home. Looking back, I’m surprised I didn’t cry myself, as I’m prone to do that at times!
Maybe there was just so much going on in my head that my brain got totally distracted and forgot to send any water to my eyes.
Afterwards though … you know that feeling when the storm has passed and the sun breaks through and everything’s suddenly bright and clear and glistening?
- October 2, 2023 at 8:44 pm #770062Nikki Just NikkiLadyRegistered On: September 29, 2022Topics: 10Replies: 261Has thanked: 1627 timesBeen thanked: 1650 times
- October 5, 2023 at 10:03 am #770649
- October 2, 2023 at 4:25 pm #770017Angela BoothBaronessRegistered On: August 1, 2020Topics: 12Replies: 1880Has thanked: 6388 timesBeen thanked: 8572 times
We all have those first moments when we really see who we should be although we know but something, such as your wonderful experience hits it home.
There are a couple of thoughts I have about this experience, have you subsequently been for a makeover to learn about makeup? Secondly if you were so sure about the girls intuition would it have been in order to have a chat as she left school as she seemed to keep the secret as she may have still wanted a ‘subject’ to practice on but of course understand the ethical reasons.
You surely must be aware of teachers who have transitioned here in the U.K., such as Maddie James, Claire Birkinshaw and Nathan Meadows who all were in the press in a positive light. As you say you are in an enlightened age and aware school so if it were ever to be a thought to do the same then the door is open.
I could never have considered it as an option when younger but have been advantaged by the protective laws and acceptance over the last twenty years or so.
Thank you for the recollection and hope that you will act on this epiphany to be the woman you wish to be.
- October 5, 2023 at 10:22 am #770660DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Current child protection laws ensure that teachers are not allowed to have any kind of social media contact with ex students until they are 21, and I certainly wasn’t ever going to have a face to face chat with Isabel about what happened while she was still at school! I always felt like that might be like poking a wasps nest … Isabel was happy to keep my secret as things stood, but if I’d upped the ante and actually had a conversation with her about it she might well have felt the need to tell someone.
I’ve no intention at all of transitioning while at school. I doubt that it’s ever as straightforward as newspapers might suggest; if it was, far more of us would be doing it. I salute those that do … I’m not that brave.
Also, while the school as a whole might be embracing trans issues, the contortions the headteacher’s face goes through when the students start talking about them in assembly suggest that she’s less than comfortable with the whole thing!
In a few years’ time I’ll be out of the classroom and painting and writing full time. I’m happy to endure boy mode during term time until then :)
- October 2, 2023 at 3:30 pm #770008AnnaBeth BlackDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: December 31, 2022Topics: 3Replies: 254Has thanked: 1508 timesBeen thanked: 1022 times
- October 4, 2023 at 11:04 pm #770467DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I’d lean more towards ‘Ellie’s vaguely acceptable face’, but thank you!
- October 5, 2023 at 2:31 pm #770700AnnaBeth BlackDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: December 31, 2022Topics: 3Replies: 254Has thanked: 1508 timesBeen thanked: 1022 times
- October 7, 2023 at 10:56 am #771009DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
If I’d been smiling any more broadly when that photo was taken the top of my head would have fallen off.
Total, all-consuming happiness at that point. I’m glad Isabel had her phone at hand to capture the moment :)
1 user thanked author for this post.
- October 2, 2023 at 12:55 pm #769993Monique AshLadyRegistered On: September 5, 2023Topics: 1Replies: 11Has thanked: 13 timesBeen thanked: 64 times
Thanks for that Ellie. I have to admit I saw your photo and thought wow you look so pretty, happy and natural. Reading your posts on CDH I can only say you are a very vibrant positive and caring person and lucky to have you online.
I like many here would love to have the experience of having someone that is naturally inclined with makeup to do a makeup transformation on us so you were so lucky. I do wish our friends would do a CrossDress party or something like that to allow me to be Monique outside the house.
- October 4, 2023 at 2:28 pm #770387DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Thank you so much Monique!
Happy, natural … okay, maybe true. I’ll take that.
Pretty? All hail Isabel and her magical skills :)
I greatly appreciate your other lovely comments. I consider myself VERY lucky to have found this place … and all of you.
There’s plenty of us; maybe we should organise a series of global crossdress parties, or decide that one day every year should be designated as International Crossdressing Day?
- October 2, 2023 at 9:04 am #769951Kim PaigeLadyRegistered On: August 15, 2023Topics: 3Replies: 25Has thanked: 89 timesBeen thanked: 167 times
If I could “thank” this more than once – I think I’d bring the site down!!!
The “story behind” your amazing profile picture is fantastic!! It’s got to be bringing smiles to MANY of us. Not sure which part I like the most…the need to temper your enthusiasm for the event…the smile itself… the wisdom of your unwitting “co-conspirator”… your musing over how you felt and the underlying meaning…and the continued shared secret with the future make up artist…and just the general satisfaction you felt to “…be Ellie…”
Thank you so much for sharing this!!
- October 4, 2023 at 1:49 pm #770377DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Aww … thank you so much my lovely!
On the day my emotions were all over the place. The first sighting of Ellie in the mirror, immediately after the makeover, gave me a moment of pure happiness; the more prolonged look I was able to have when I was at home … didn’t … which might sound odd.
I don’t actually have words for the emotions I felt at the time. The happiness was still there, but it was tinged with sadness, confusion and maybe a sense of time lost. I felt good, even contented and somehow ‘safe’ for the first time in a long time, but at the same time I was completely overwhelmed. The rush of emotions utterly floored me, and it changed how I saw myself.
It’s very, very difficult to explain!
- October 2, 2023 at 6:43 am #769920Marg ProdueLadyRegistered On: March 16, 2022Topics: 2Replies: 583Has thanked: 3065 timesBeen thanked: 2327 times
Great story Ellie. You certainly have blossomed here on CDH. When I was being misgendered in boy mode I went to a makeup artist and said that I didn’t understand what people were seeing in me. He took one look and said that with my cheekbones there was no question I was feminine and that he would add some makeup to show me. That event (like yours) completed the origin of Marg. Thanks Ellie, for all of your openness and sharing. Hugs, Marg
- October 4, 2023 at 11:11 am #770359DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
You’re so lucky! I know I must have cheekbones in there somewhere (otherwise I suppose my cheeks would fall off) but I would have to do quite a bit of clever contouring to make onlookers aware of them.
Thank you, as always, for your lovely comments :)
- October 2, 2023 at 6:32 am #769910Julie ShawLadyRegistered On: September 3, 2015Topics: 21Replies: 173Has thanked: 784 timesBeen thanked: 1064 times
- October 3, 2023 at 2:17 pm #770216DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
The next occasion even remotely similar to this will be in the New Year, when I hope to have a proper makeover experience in Leicester. The photos on the website suggest that the proprietor has skills that come close to Isabel’s. She might do a similarly good job of papering over the cracks :)
If I have sufficient nerve I’ll go on an accompanied, en femme, shopping trip afterwards.
Needless to say, you’ll all hear EVERYTHING about it.
- October 2, 2023 at 6:15 am #769899Samantha LinehanLadyRegistered On: April 13, 2021Topics: 39Replies: 38Has thanked: 129 timesBeen thanked: 262 times
- October 3, 2023 at 1:46 pm #770207DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Isabel was / is a very talented girl! The annoying thing is that she achieved what she did in a tenth of the time it would have taken me, and the result was a hundred times better than I could ever have managed.
And of course she performed makeovers on four other male teachers as well, before the school day even started.
My aim is to try and re-create that look. But, as Donovan once said, I may as well try and catch the wind.
*Ellie picks up an eyebrow pencil, regards it sadly, and puts it back on the table unused*
- October 3, 2023 at 8:05 pm #770250DuchessRegistered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 18Replies: 1247Has thanked: 981 timesBeen thanked: 5268 times
Pick that pencil back up and start practicing. Or start on some other part of your face. No one expects perfection. No one is going to see it but you.
I still can’t do half as good a job as my friend who gave me my first makeover. But you have to start somewhere.
- October 4, 2023 at 9:01 am #770330DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Teaching is my day job, but in what I laughably refer to as my free time I also write books and am a professional artist … so maybe I should just change my mindset and think of my face as a blank canvas :)
- October 4, 2023 at 10:06 am #770353
- October 4, 2023 at 1:30 pm #770374DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Normally I’d work all over the canvas first with some raw umber oil paint diluted with turpentine, and scrub it into the weave with a coarse brush to give the surface an even stain.
That’s probably not an approach that most makeup artists would recommend.
- October 5, 2023 at 7:04 am #770614
- October 2, 2023 at 6:11 am #769898Bobbi BakerLadyRegistered On: July 16, 2023Topics: 3Replies: 7Has thanked: 95 timesBeen thanked: 86 times
I love that story, Ellie! What a great experience for you!
I know exactly how you felt when you saw your reflection with the wig on. I had my first professional makeover a couple of weeks ago, and the rush of emotion when I saw my true self in the mirror was overwhelming. I was on the verge of tears, but I didn’t want to cry and ruin my makeup!
Thank you for sharing, Ellie!
- October 3, 2023 at 1:31 pm #770202DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Was that the makeover in Toronto that you were telling us about back at the end of August? If you’re willing to share, I think we’d all love to know more :)
It’s so interesting that you felt that same rush of emotion when you saw your ‘true self’. It’s euphoric, isn’t it?
- October 5, 2023 at 5:55 am #770596Bobbi BakerLadyRegistered On: July 16, 2023Topics: 3Replies: 7Has thanked: 95 timesBeen thanked: 86 times
Yes, that makeover was what I was mentioning back in August. I am willing to share and will do so. Stay tuned…
It is indeed euphoric, Ellie. I have rarely had that swell of emotion in all my life.
I still smile and shake my head in amazement thinking back on it.
- October 3, 2023 at 12:47 pm #770193Connie WittneeBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: October 6, 2022Topics: 2Replies: 115Has thanked: 3233 timesBeen thanked: 402 times
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- October 2, 2023 at 1:34 am #769878Suzanne MartinHostessRegistered On: January 8, 2020Topics: 9Replies: 806Has thanked: 7572 timesBeen thanked: 3411 times
What a wonderful story of your experience. I can only imagine how hard it was for you to contain your excitement that day. To have all of your dreams come to fruition like that.
I’ve read your other stories and am very happy for you. I wish you the best on your continued journey.
PS – As someone else said, you should compile all your stories in a book. With the way you write it would be a good read.
- October 3, 2023 at 9:33 am #770167DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
- October 3, 2023 at 12:56 pm #770194Connie WittneeBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: October 6, 2022Topics: 2Replies: 115Has thanked: 3233 timesBeen thanked: 402 times
- October 3, 2023 at 2:31 pm #770219DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
*Ellie picks up a pen and looks quizzically at Connie*
We need to start thinking of a title.
Based on the staffroom banter on the day, one possibility is ‘The face that launched a thousand quips’. But I think we can do better.
Come on Connie! If you’re going to be my agent, you need to start working on this.
What am I paying you for?
- October 11, 2023 at 3:04 pm #772114
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- October 1, 2023 at 10:48 pm #769873KateBaronessRegistered On: March 27, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 77Has thanked: 736 timesBeen thanked: 443 times
- October 1, 2023 at 9:35 pm #769866Aurora Lynette EdenBaronessRegistered On: June 29, 2021Topics: 43Replies: 362Has thanked: 2044 timesBeen thanked: 1723 times
A sensational story, Ellie! I would think that Isabel knew the moment your face lit up.
I hope that soon everything will come together for you and you can be who you really are.
I know the feeling.
- October 2, 2023 at 2:46 pm #770004DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Yes, Isabel probably knew ALL about me from my initial reaction to seeing my reflection.
I guess that wasn’t what you’d call a standard male response.
When I was obviously SO reluctant to remove the makeup at the end of the day, any lingering doubts about my true nature definitely evaporated :)
- October 1, 2023 at 8:07 pm #769857DuchessRegistered On: October 15, 2018Topics: 18Replies: 1247Has thanked: 981 timesBeen thanked: 5268 times
It’s nice that the school was encouraging diversity, and that the students had the respect to call you Miss.
When I was in 4th grade (ages 9-10), there was a performance we had to do where the boys had to wear black (opaque) tights. I was “loaned” a pair from my older sister, and had to wear it to school one day for the dress rehearsal, and then again for the performance.
Later that school year we were going to do a dance performance. My desk was right up against the teacher’s desk, and I remember another 4th grade teacher talking to my teacher that together, there were more boys than girls, and there may be some boys who would have to wear the girl’s costume and learn the girl’s part. Knowing that teachers love to do things alphabetically, and being near the beginning of the alphabet, I was worried/hoping that I might have to be the one. But the third 4th grade teacher had more than enough girls to cover, and some of the girls had to learn the boy’s part and wear the boy’s costume.
When my daughters were in the marching band in high school (ages 14-18), I would attend quite a few of their performances, including their halftime shows at the [American] football games. Once a year they had what they called the “Powder Puff” football game. In this event, the girls played a modified version of football called flag football. There was no kicking of the ball, the field was shortened from 100 yards to 60 yards, and instead of tackling the opponent to the ground, they wore a belt with a strip of fabric on each side (the “flag”) attached to the belt with Velcro, and you had to rip the flag off the belt to stop the play. While the girls were playing football, the boys would dress up like girls and were the cheerleaders. Of course, being teenage boys, they were often quite buxom.
- October 2, 2023 at 2:19 pm #770001DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
The students didn’t just CALL me Miss … they took very great delight in doing so at every opportunity. It was all very, very good-natured and they got thoroughly into it.
It would be lovely to live in a society in which I could just go into school like this every day without anyone batting an eyelid.
*Ellie sighs heavily, sips her wine and returns to her marking*
- October 1, 2023 at 6:24 pm #769839Alice UnderwireLadyRegistered On: September 16, 2019Topics: 102Replies: 6406Has thanked: 8142 timesBeen thanked: 17002 times
- October 2, 2023 at 2:13 pm #769999DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I wish I had a record of the actual date that all of this happened … the one associated with the photo file is wrong. I don’t think Isabel had it properly set up on her camera.
If I could figure out when exactly it was I should probably consider it as Ellie’s birthday :)
- October 1, 2023 at 5:45 pm #769834Fiona BlackBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: November 23, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 858Has thanked: 694 timesBeen thanked: 3776 times
- October 2, 2023 at 12:47 pm #769991DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
Ellie was there all my life – and probably the biggest part of me throughout – but I’d been afraid to let her fully out before.
This was the day that she broke free. It marks the point that I first started thinking of myself completely as her.
I’ve been much happier ever since :)
- October 1, 2023 at 4:36 pm #769822JulieLadyRegistered On: March 19, 2021Topics: 25Replies: 212Has thanked: 73 timesBeen thanked: 590 times
- October 2, 2023 at 10:42 am #769971
- October 1, 2023 at 3:09 pm #769808April SinclairDuchessRegistered On: April 29, 2022Topics: 10Replies: 832Has thanked: 10928 timesBeen thanked: 3597 times
Ellie thank you for your beautifully intriguing story of your authentic beautifully feminine photo that reveals your inner joy and happiness that is able to touch us all. I feel it is so important to show how happy we are when we dress to share that with others is special. Isabel sounds like an amazing person and young woman. In the way you write you share your inner thoughts in so much detail and feeling that I can feel and see both the story taking place like a movie watching you but also that I can place myself in your position of the story.
I appreciate your ability and honesty in your sharing with all of us here at CDH your experiences and hope that you will someday compile all your experiences and write a book. You are a very talented storyteller and a wonderful woman for sure. I admire your radiant enthusiasm and personality that exudes from all your comments and stories you have shared with us. You are truly amazing and special.
Thank you so much girlfriend for sharing.
- October 2, 2023 at 10:41 am #769969DuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
This is such a wonderful reply :)
Thank you so much for all the lovely things that you’ve said.
I’ll PM you with a proper thank you, since I don’t feel that I can do it justice here.
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