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So here I am at 4am…. laying in bed, mesmerized by crazy thoughts of tomorrow. Tomorrow is the first of hopefully many happy episodes. Its my first day I take the step to see if I can become the woman Ive dreamt about. I’ve got it all laid out on the table. The makeup, the hair, the outfit, the jewelry, the “twins” 🙂 … The excitement won’t let me rest. When that alarm goes off in a few hours, Jerri becomes a reality… I made this decision less than a month ago. Even though Ive felt it inside many, many years ago. Time to throw the dart and see where it sticks.
My question to you ladies is one you’ve probably been asked by many rookies before me. “What happens if I don’t like what I see in that mirror?” I am NOT a vain person, so please don’t ever think of me in that light. For this month, Ive loved everything about this process.. the shopping, the daydreams, the way the clothes look and feel, the way I feel when someone from this site encourages me to follow through and enjoy the ride… Ive needed this in my life. Ive got expectations of what beauty is. I see several photos that you goddesses post in chats and groups, and I want to look like that. I want the happiness and gratification that I can “hear” you have, just by reading your comments and print. I just don’t want this euphoria rush I have to come crashing down you know. Have you been here before? Have you had the fear? How do you handle it? Anyone want to show up like Mrs Claus on Christmas Eve and perfect and teach me makeup? LOL I’ll get up and make some cookies right now… But in all serious my sisters… any advice you can toss one of your new friends here would be greatly appreciated. Tyvm
Jerri, I am at a similar stage in my journey as you. Just a few weeks ago, Erika got dressed en femme, including the girls, and put on makeup. Like anything else, I found I was not going to do everything exactly right the first time. But it did give me ideas of where I need to improve. So now I have other ideas I’m going to try the next time Erika can step out. It’s trial and error. This is a learning process, just like anything else.
I share your feeling, especially seeing the beautiful ladies we have here. One of the things all of us have in common is we all tarted learning somewhere. Jerri, you and I are just now beginning our education journey. The good news is we aren’t doing it alone, and we have many sisters here who will not only encourage us, but are more than happy to share their knowledge and expertise! All of us here want to see all our sisters shine!
Erika
I am still relatively new and a late bloomer to Cross Dressing and has opened up a whole new way of life and living BUT saying that the mirror is my worst enemy and critic. When I get dressed en femme I do not look in the bathroom mirror as that part resting on my shoulders ruins the illusion of the woman standing there. I have a 5 foot floor mirror to make sure everything fits properly and then I carry on my day around the house as Sara and the woman we are.
I am 73 and broad shouldered with a well weathered face and no amount of makeup can change that even with a nice wig on. So I enjoy the feeling while I am en femme but also accept the fact that Sara’s male shadow is always going to be with us.
I guess my one big wish would be to meet another cross dresser or a woman who would accept my cross dressing and help me even with different makeups and just being more feminine.
SaraBTW I am not a Christmas celebrating person but want to wish everyone Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays which ever suites your narrative and a Happy New Year from Sara and her male shadow
We are our own worst critic. No doubt there will be aspects of your appearance you are not happy with, we all have them, so don’t focus on them. Find one or two things you find pleasing and emphasis those. You can always work on the rest over time.
We are all different on how we present. Some of us have very strong male attributes, others may already look much more feminine…it is just the way we are built, so accepting that st the start helps. We can soften some of the attributes, but not all, and to only a certain degree. For me dressing en femme is not just about trying to look as feminine as possible, it is, more importantly, about enjoying the look and sensations I see and feel when dressed. I am still very much male, the proverbial “dude in a dress”, and I am fine with that, but what I see in the mirror is a person thoroughly enjoying the experience of dressing en femme, and I am very, very happy with that.
Jerri: if the mirror breaks, it breaks! It won’t kill you – and (as we’ve been told) that should make you stronger… and before long, you’ll probably find that the mirror has somehow mended itself… I’ve had far, far too many doubts across almost as many “visits” to the CD world, and the main point is – “What happens if the mirror makes me look good?” YOU’LL LOVE IT! You’ve realised that you have the feminine side that so many genetic men refuse to acknowledge; it may take a few “ins and outs” from CDH, but you will in the end (like so many others) realise that this is the site for you – and that Jerri is… well, not necessarily everything that you are, but at least a massively significant part of you. It may take time, but please try to embrace the feminine side of you – and if you need any support, there are over 30,000 of us here to reach out to. Welcome to our world, sister; we love you! Holly XXX
Hi Jerri, I can’t really give you any advice because I’m still in the closet myself, I still haven’t found the courage to open that closet door and face the world, all i can say is don’t give up on your dream, everything in life takes a lot of practice even putting on makeup I’m sure you will get it right in the end,
Hugs Rozalyn X 🎀
Don’t forget she who dares wins X
Another word of advice is to concentrate on how you feel dressed long before you look in the mirror. Most of us, me especially, enjoy the feelings and sensations of being dressed. To be honest, I feel so good dressed that by the time I see myself in the mirror I am already in my happy place. Of course I then see things in the mirror I am less pleased with…a little too much tummy, too many wrinkles, more brow then I would like, et cetera, but I feel so good dressed that none of that is too terribly important.
Jerri,
My 1st time out was over 40 years ago. The 1st time I met another CD it changed my life. Meeting someone who had the same feelings was such a wonderful experience. As far as finding your look, it takes time. You Tube has some good makeup videos. When you build up the courage, go get a makeover. Sephora, Ulta, etc are good places to go. Just remember that you are not alone.
Yours TerriJerri,
Just do the best you can. Don’t set your expectations so high in the beginning. What you see in the mirror will improve with more experience. Cross dressing is also about experiencing the sensations of appearing and acting feminine and the joy of wearing women’s lingerie & clothing. Concentrate on enjoying those aspects of CD’ing and you will do well.
Jerri, as others have already said don’t worry to much if the reflection doesn’t meet the standards you are hoping for. I don’t take a lot of pictures of Cassie, but I love how dressing up makes me feel. Even though the gray eyebrows and gray on the hair shoe and then there is the droopy skin on the neck. I know I pass in many situations probably partly because I feel and act like I belong how I am presenting.
Cassie
I’ve enjoyed this post because it gives me a lot to think about as I make plans to finally go out dressed up. I’m always striving to do better on things like my makeup and mannerisms, but I’ve finally accepted it’ll never be perfect. When I do make it out the door I plan to do the best I can, learn from my mistakes, and enjoy the experience.
The first time I really tried to put on makeup it was going what I thought was terribly. I keep going and finally finished with the final touches. Then the magic happened. I put on my wig and suddenly there was a real woman in the reflexion where a man had been only a moment before. The beauty is in your soul and the mirror won’t break but it will release a new part of you into world.
Good luck, we are all there with you in spirit.
Love,
Tommie
Replying to my own post seems kinda silly… But after talking with someone that gave me good advice in some private chat, I figured I’d let you know how the “punchline” turned out. I can honestly say, I did okay. The mirror didn’t break. I took waaaaaay too much time to try to get it all like the cutie in the tutorial, but I don’t have the chops just yet. I really didn’t throw anything accross the room. Even though I believe eye makeup is e-v-i-l. I wanted it to look like hers… I just had to laugh at my attempt. It got messy. BUT… in the end… I had a blast!!! And that my pretty mamas is what this game is all about. And like I told my new friend tonight… I now know why girls always ran late for dates with me. Tick-tock… tick-tock… Thanks for all the comments and encouragement for Jerri, Take One, Scene One…
Right once you dress full enfemme one time you will never tell or get upset at a woman getting ready. Have to figure for most of us it actually takes twice as long as them or way more as we definitely don’t have as much to work with.
Glad you had a good time and can laugh about it. The sensations how and what you feel are the most important.
Jerri; you go girl! At a first attempt, “okay” is BRILLIANT! I’ve tried and tried but never been able to get my makeup anything better than “that’s really… errrmm… not very good.” You had a great time and – as you say – that’s what the game is all about! Feel proud of yourself – and enjoy the (prolonged!) buzz! We’re all proud of you! Lots of love & kisses: Holly XXX
Hey Jerri I’m glad the mirror didn’t break. Didn’t expect it would.
As has been said, we’re our own worst critics….no different than EVERY cis-woman out there.
That cute but decidedly un-glamorous soccer mom you see every day? She can transform into a gorgeous knockout in an hour. She does it with makeup. The difference is she has years of practice. She knows how to hide her flaws and enhance her best features.
That’s the main difference between you and her. She’s practiced. You’re not.
Masculine features can be minimized with good base makeup. Doing that alone will make you appear more feminine. Instead of trying to look more feminine, try to look less masculine. That’s pretty easy to learn. Get that down and then work on flashy eye makeup, dramatic contouring, and bold lips.
If you really want to know what’s possible, get a makeover. That was the tipping point for me. Being amazed at seeing yourself in the mirror is powerful incentive. My makeup skills have improved considerably but I can’t come close to doing what a talented professional can do. Maybe someday. I still get makeovers every chance I get. I’m worth it!
Happy Holidays!
Emily
Its a matter of expectations I suppose. I had always imagined that it would be impossible for me to be presentable as a woman. Once, on a whim, I tried on my wife’s wig and glanced at a mirror. I was honestly stunned and a bit frightened to see a (then) rather pretty young woman looking back at me. I had a similar level of surprise many years later when I tried doing makeup properly for the first time, but instead of fear or surprise, for the first time I thought “I can do this!” And I have, pretty much non-stop ever since 🙂
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