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  • #373062
    Alexis “Lexi” Moon
    Participant
    Registered On: July 4, 2019
    Topics: 17
    Replies: 59
    Has thanked: 62 times
    Been thanked: 260 times

    Hey all,

    Sorry for kind of a downer post, so feel free to click away! Just looking for some perspective…

    As many of you know, I’m also a musician and songwriter, and I’ve invested a significant chunk of my free time during this pandemic to get my first album as Lexi finished and released to the world. I actually met that goal last week, and have been doing what I can to actively promote it, including a significant effort in building up my social media presence on Facebook and Instagram, in addition to my Flickr page (where I’ve got over 2000 followers). Given the fact that I make no attempt to hide that fact that I’m a crossdresser and that my music was written from that perspective, I think I was expecting there to be some significant interest – finally, music that girls like us can relate to. I think I may have been deluding myself.

    Exhibit A: I shared some old photos on my FB page in an album called “From the Archive.” That album alone has 38 likes, plus several likes and comments on each individual photo. Any post I make related to my music gets 1 or 2 likes, and 1 or 2 comments, max. My takeaway – most people online really only care about photos of crossdressers. Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered by the compliments I get on my photos! But after a few years of that, there’s not much thrill in it anymore. I was really hopeful that I could parlay some of that attention into interest in my music, but I guess I was wrong.

    Now I know how female musicians feel, when the attention is only focused on their looks, why Sinead O’Connor shaved her head. Turns out just because people like how you look doesn’t mean they care much about anything else you have to offer…

    I guess that’s why I’m starting to pull back from being online these days. I’m not getting much out of it when it’s just all about, “I love your heels, great legs, you look so sexy, etc.”

    Ah – sorry! I think I just needed to get some of this off my chest. Probably just frustration from not being able to dress either.

    Peace,

    Lexi

Viewing 25 reply threads
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    • #377680
      Alexis “Lexi” Moon
      Participant
      Registered On: July 4, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 59
      Has thanked: 62 times
      Been thanked: 260 times
    • #377678
      Holly Nycd
      Participant
      Registered On: August 10, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 7
      Has thanked: 19 times
      Been thanked: 30 times

      i’ll definitely check it out! yay for you! 🙂

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #377677
      Alexis “Lexi” Moon
      Participant
      Registered On: July 4, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 59
      Has thanked: 62 times
      Been thanked: 260 times

      Hey all – so a quick update. The most awesome thing happened this week. I met another CD on Instagram that hosts her own radio show in the UK called Heavier Than Time. I send her some of my music and she loved it and played it on her show today! Two songs! It was so cool.

      If you are interested, they will replay it this Sunday at 3 pm, Central time in the US. My segment is about 30 minutes in.

      http://www.acaciaradio.com

      Thanks again to everyone for your support – you never know what might be around the corner!

      Luv,

      Lexi

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #375474
      Alexis “Lexi” Moon
      Participant
      Registered On: July 4, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 59
      Has thanked: 62 times
      Been thanked: 260 times

      Awesome, Holly! Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone…I appreciate you listening!

      xxoo

      Lexi

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #375473
      Holly Nycd
      Participant
      Registered On: August 10, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 7
      Has thanked: 19 times
      Been thanked: 30 times

      hi lexi – quick update… was able to listen to the tracks a few more times while working, liked my fav tracks in soundcloud and following you there. feeling a bit exposed since it’s not a ‘holly’ related profile 😛 i think my favorite bass track is the intro track – love it!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #374772
      Alexis “Lexi” Moon
      Participant
      Registered On: July 4, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 59
      Has thanked: 62 times
      Been thanked: 260 times

      Thank you , Britney! I’ve considered physical media, but we’ll see how things go…

      Hugs,

      Lexi

    • #374149
      Britney Summers
      Participant
      Registered On: June 6, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 72
      Has thanked: 260 times
      Been thanked: 215 times

      I am very picky about what I listen to.  My music likes swing quite wildly, an example would be going from metal to the spice girls.  I listened to all your songs and they sound good to me. I would buy a cd of those.  So don’t be discouraged.

    • #373804
      Jill Marshall
      Participant
      Registered On: June 28, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 23
      Has thanked: 31 times
      Been thanked: 113 times

      Lexi, thank you for the soundcloud link!  I’ve listened a couple of times over this afternoon and it is really fantastic. Great range of style and mood in the sound and the lyrics!  Adore especially feels so at ease, not unlike having yourself, well, to yourself.

      It is apparent the emotion and art you put into this.  I can try and imagine how frustrating covid must be. These songs would make a perfect set in so many places, for me they remind me of Clearwater, which is an outdoor festival we attend every year at Croton Point Park on the Hudson river.  If you could make it there with just yourself and a guitar, this is exactly something that would be showcased there.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #373737
      Holly Nycd
      Participant
      Registered On: August 10, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 7
      Has thanked: 19 times
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      yvw! and yeah, i was able to listen to it through that link, but i want to follow and like on soundcloud and listen through it a few more times. lol about the bass parts – i would say my guitar playing is unorthodox, but then again may bass playing might be too since i kinda just play and never had lessons. just recently switched over to 5 string and for sound, been going with pretty much ꓘorn setup lately 🙂

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    • #373712
      Alexis “Lexi” Moon
      Participant
      Registered On: July 4, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 59
      Has thanked: 62 times
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      Andrea, you are absolutely right, particularly with Flickr. I think I had deluded myself into thinking that people were there for more than just “eye candy!” Thanks for all the suggestions. I actually did create a lyric video for the song “Inner Psyche,” which is the one song I feel is more relatable for other CDs like us. Here’s link to the Vimeo site, if you aren’t on Facebook.

      Check it out!

      Lexi

       

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    • #373698
      Alexis “Lexi” Moon
      Participant
      Registered On: July 4, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 59
      Has thanked: 62 times
      Been thanked: 260 times

      Thanks for giving it a listen, Holly! (Also, FYI, you don’t need to be a Soundcloud member to listen, only if you want to like/follow, etc.). I’m glad you like the bass parts, I’m a guitar player first, so I’m sure my bass playing is a little “unorthodox…”

      Hugs!

      Lexi

       

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373531
      Holly Nycd
      Participant
      Registered On: August 10, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 7
      Has thanked: 19 times
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      liking it! i have soundcloud (but it’s not associated with ‘holly’) so i’ll listen to the tracks a few times through, liking the vibe and feel, especially some of those bass parts (kinda partial since i play bass :P) and about playing live and putting people together, that might be the only thing harder than sell tix *giggles*

      well done!  *claps*

      holly

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373525
      ANDREA RAVEN
      Participant
      Registered On: December 21, 2017
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 268
      Has thanked: 22 times
      Been thanked: 537 times

      Lexi, the first thing I would like to say is well done! You have achieved an enormous amount, I like music, who doesn’t, but I wouldn’t say I am a music lover if you know what I mean. I think the problem here is you have two very different audiences, on Flickr your followers are following you for how you look, that would not automatically translate into following you for how you sound. So the conundrum is how do you convert some (lets be fair not all are going to be interested) from following you on Flickr to buying your record. I am not in any way a expert on marketing, but there must be a way. My thought is to do a short vid, something a little different, something that will grab their attention, without being outside your comfort zone, and at the same time introduce a bit of your music. It might work? Marketing is the key, tapping into the LBGT market is a possibility, perhaps talk to LBGT radio stations, there must be some in the US, there are a few in the UK……… Don’t give up, it won’t be easy, but you have made it this far, you can make it all the way!

      Andrea x

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    • #373502
      Alexis “Lexi” Moon
      Participant
      Registered On: July 4, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 59
      Has thanked: 62 times
      Been thanked: 260 times

      Natasha – you are too kind! I haven’t ever performed as Lexi (would need a full band for that, which is a whole can of worms), but I’d like to think I could get some traction in the LGBT community. Just not sure where to start…

      Thanks,

      Lexi

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #373501
      Alexis “Lexi” Moon
      Participant
      Registered On: July 4, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 59
      Has thanked: 62 times
      Been thanked: 260 times

      Hi Jill – thanks for your thoughts! I agree.

      I’m not on YouTube yet, but you can stream if for free on Soundcloud, if you like:

      Hugs!

      Lexi

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373434
      Jill Marshall
      Participant
      Registered On: June 28, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 23
      Has thanked: 31 times
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      One thing I see in this is how far ahead you must be of most the people coming to your facebook page.  You have something that very few other crossdressers get to have, which is that not only do you know what it is to exist openly from Lexi’s perspective, you have had the experience of creating something in Lexi’s perspective.  And of the world knowing you and seeing you as Lexi while you did it.  I may be wrong, but I don’t get the impression that many crossdressers would know just what that feels like, enough to realize it should be of great importance to them. Nor can many relate to that achievement yet, because the very basics of discovery, self-acceptance, and existence en femme are such formidable things to confront and overcome. Just those things alone can take a lifetime.

      I’m certainly not there. The closest I’ve come to that is handling work crises over the phone on my days home, and imagining what those on the other end of the phone would think if they realized that it was really Ms. Jill they were taking direction from. And thinking it would serve all of them right if they did know, and the middle finger they’d get back for being shocked, just shocked!  That’s a long way behind where you are.

      I also think the repression to later in life that is so common to so many personal stories, is one of the things that unfortunately ends up sexualizing it permanently for some.  Finally allowing expression to an impulse that there is a deeply socially ingrained instinct to repress distorts things.  Since it coincides with coming of age sexually that charges it in a way it might not be otherwise, it if it were allowed to just exist naturally from its point of origin, which for many of us was as a child or adolescent.  There was some of that oversexualization in my own dressing too and I’m glad that over time that has diminished and my focus has turned outward to at some point joining the world en femme.  The world at large however still seems fairly content to pigeonhole cross dressing as a sexual fetish and that type of repression is something that is only just beginning to change, but still very real.  So yes, a great many people will still only see the stockings and heels and it will take another generation or so to sort out.  You are showing the way to what is possible once all that is behind us so it may be natural that you are out front all alone but I hope you keep pushing ahead.

      I access all my music through youtube.  Is yours available there?

       

    • #373417
      Natasha Crossdresser
      Participant
      Registered On: August 6, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 10
      Has thanked: 21 times
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      Hi Lexi,

      I think inevitably you will get a lot of attention because of your looks, you put a lot of effort in and are stunning as a consequence.  I guess all musicians probably feel they are banging their heads against the wall at some time or another, but you have out so much into it, it would be a shame to give up now. I know many women wonder whether they have a following because of looks, I expect some the boy band singers with real talent felt the same way. Personally I would seek to turn it to my advantage. I wonder if there is a market for your music among the LGBT community? I don’t know if you have tried to present like that, or are even like the idea of performing and selling your art as Lexi. I guess public appearances etc. might be too much. In some ways I’d say use your beauty and your crossdressing to draw attention to your music. Don’t ever forget Billy Jo, lead singer of Green Day cross dresses, and sings about it e.g. King for a Day.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373415
      Holly Nycd
      Participant
      Registered On: August 10, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 7
      Has thanked: 19 times
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      hi and i can relate to it as well – not the more likes on any of my pics than music (i pretty much took down a lot on my FB for some other reasons, but holly is on a lot of other sites without much fan fare) and holly really isn’t involved in my music (could expand on that in a post i guess) but totally relate to the feedback or lack thereof regarding music and pre-pandemic live music. the band i’m in posted a few memes saying that we played to less people before covid gathering limits 😛 been trying to focus on just making good music but i get the being discouraged part for sure… having said that, is there a link to your music on your profile? i apologize if it is i got caught up reading and writing back in here 🙂 would like to take a listen to what you’re doing.

      ty and stay strong! \m/

      holly

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373414
      Erica Inside
      Participant
      Registered On: April 10, 2018
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 147
      Has thanked: 424 times
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      Lexi, My 2cents. 1st I will try to find your music and give it a listen. but the point I want to make has nothing to do with the results of your project but more to focus on your effort. You invested a significant amount of your time. We as people often feel a bit of a let down after the high of completing a project. I am not saying your observations are not valid, but some of the feeling down can be just from the emotional exhaustion you are experiencing. Good for you to complete your music project. The other big let down can come from putting yourself out there. not just as a singer/songwriter but also exposing the most venerable part of yourself, your personal feelings. With any investment, try to give it time. Continue to promote your work and share it.Thanks for sharing here. It’s nice to hear other voices that are struggling with things. life is a struggle, we need voices to help us find our paths and stay on our paths.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373409
      Geraldine Martin
      Participant
      Registered On: April 1, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 11
      Has thanked: 19 times
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      Dear Lexi

      First I am on FB too  just feel free to connect as Geraldine Martin

      Second, “My takeaway – most people online really only care about photos of crossdressers. Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered by the compliments I get on my photos” : you are right  this is the world, people (usually men) looks to crossdressers as sexual fantaisies.   Of course sometimes they are right. But in many cases, we just try to become what we are… and it’s take time, efforts and may be so luck if we can meet some helping and nice friends…

      Keep going on !!

       

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    • #373315
      Kay Anderson
      Participant
      Registered On: June 1, 2020
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 483
      Has thanked: 4471 times
      Been thanked: 2507 times

      Hi Lexi,

      We live in a crazy world. Everyone I know, including myself is struggling with depressive thoughts. I feel like we all need each other here for support. Hang in there girl!

      Hugs

      Kay

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373160
      Alexis “Lexi” Moon
      Participant
      Registered On: July 4, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 59
      Has thanked: 62 times
      Been thanked: 260 times

      Thanks! I appreciate the support – one of the things that makes this site special…

      Cheers,

      Lexi

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373108
      Laura Lovett
      Participant
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 370
      Has thanked: 995 times
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      Hi Lexi

      As a frustrated songwriter myself, with a max of 40 odd views on any of the 30 odd songs I have on YouTube  I feel that.

      I’ve always clung to the notion that the art should sell itself.

      But I don’t think that’s ever really been true except for, well, exceptional circumstances, and quite often after the artist has passed away – only then is the true genius recognised.

      There’s no shame in marketing an image or brand – people expect to get the whole package.

      It’s part of your art, and it’s part of Lexi,

      There’s no such thing as bad publicity, so use what you got to sell the music, and enable yourself to write more!

      Love Laura

       

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #373092
      patty williams
      Participant
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 62
      Replies: 1130
      Has thanked: 1749 times
      Been thanked: 3669 times

      Hi Lexi,

      I am sorry you feeling discouraged.

      I always try to look on the bright side of things.

      So at least your getting to do what you love and your getting to do it as Lexi.

      I think that is so awesome.

      Sometimes things take time and besides you have your own fan club here

      Hang in there girlfriend.

      Patty

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373081
      Jenny Jones
      Participant
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 105
      Has thanked: 97 times
      Been thanked: 363 times

      That is rough to hear and I’m sorry to hear it. Go ahead and vent it is incredibly important to let it out, especially if its more than just this. A little venting can go a long way.

      And don’t let it get you down. It can take a long time for anything to really gain traction, especially music. It is easy for photos to start traveling cause all it takes is a glance to tell if you like it. Music takes a long time to worm its way in. Plus once the ball gets rolling it can snowball , so give it time, keep trying and I’m sure you’ll manage.

      I think it is also important to note that if you were primarily photo focused before it might taken time for the music to catch on just cause its different. People come for the photos and the music is just there.

      Ultimately I am not going to make any real statement about music cause I have been cursed with a tin ear and am quite bad at anything to do with it, including enjoying it. Just keep trying and don’t let the first stumbling back be your downfall. If you enjoy it, do it.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #373072
      Heather Jameson
      Participant
      Registered On: April 1, 2019
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 333
      Has thanked: 495 times
      Been thanked: 1105 times

      Hey Lexi, go ahead and vent sweetheart, that’s what we’re here for. Your absolutely right, the world is very shallow and hung up on looks especially for women, they look at the shell, not what’s inside. I worked with 2 women that this makes me think of, Karen, not the greatest looking but very smart, really funny and a great worker, she was just a useless bitch according to the cavemen I worked with. Women #2 Jeanine, very beautiful and knew it also useless and lazy. She’d flirt with the guys, wore tight jeans and low cut tops and the neanderthals ate it up. I got sick and tired of her crap and yelled at her one day, guess what, I was the biggest asshole on the face of the planet and actually got into 2 altercations over it.

      You keep plugging away at it and don’t let the superficial ones drag you down. Your talent will show through and you will succeed and when you have your first concert a bunch of us girls will come  and cheer for you.

      You take care, I can’t wait until your famous so I can brag that I know you.

      Smile, love Heather.

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