- March 31, 2021 at 3:52 am #471647Candace BaciParticipantRegistered On: October 19, 2020Topics: 52Replies: 116Has thanked: 408 timesBeen thanked: 860 times
It’s been 3 months since my Christmas Day dressed with my wife. For those of you who don’t know the story, my sister snapped a selfie photo her and me dressed as Candace ( Charlie s Angel pose). I framed and gave to my wife for Christmas and she chuckled. When she was showering Christmas morning I decided to get dressed up in my outfit I wore in the picture. When she got out of shower she looked startled but somewhat accepting. Anyway for 5 glorious hours I stayed dressed, we had coffee opened presents watched the Yule log it was wonderful. I didn’t want to open up on the holiday so I just let it be but most of you over the last several months have tried encouraging me to tell her since she most likely knows already. Of course the coward in me continues to hold back and in the meantime the angst and hurt grows. I know I need to have the talk soon but I’m just a wimp at this point who really needs strong encouragement advice and a push my from girlfriends here at CDH.
Hugs and Kisses
- April 2, 2021 at 5:41 am #472514Polly StewartLadyRegistered On: January 2, 2021Topics: 12Replies: 933Has thanked: 1321 timesBeen thanked: 3173 times
I have lived my life up until now by the simple maxim… apologies to Nike… “Just Do It!”
Polly’s done it! 🌹🌷🌸🌺💋❤️
- April 2, 2021 at 5:05 am #472499Layla JonesLadyRegistered On: June 7, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 38Has thanked: 325 timesBeen thanked: 145 times
- April 2, 2021 at 4:25 am #472481Regine RichPrincessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 32Replies: 889Has thanked: 8999 timesBeen thanked: 3900 times
As I have said before, I know it’s hard, But I do believe the best approach is just as Lisa said, Keep it simple, but do it, and get it over with.
Once you say those two lines, explain how it makes you feel, that you aren’t gay(unless you are, and thats another story?) and how much you love her. Give her the option of you continuing, either with her acceptance and participation, or, as don’t see don’t tell, or her complete refusal.
I really do think, after your Christmas day, you will be pleasantly surprised at her reaction.
I am only advocating for get it over with, as this is something you are obviously struggling with, and once it’s done, you will have such a weight lifted from your soul, your beauty and serenity will only increase
Hugs, and love, Regi👩💕
- April 1, 2021 at 4:57 pm #472333MelanieElizabethLadyRegistered On: January 9, 2021Topics: 10Replies: 120Has thanked: 256 timesBeen thanked: 663 times
Hi Candace . I think you are in a good spot. After your time together Christmas morning I think you know she isn’t going to totally freak. She has seen you that way already it’s not going to blind side her. I would be surprised if she doesn’t already suspect you like to cd. She’s probably waiting for you to say something to her about it. She’s might be as nervous about it as you. Just try to be honest and gentle with her and besides you don’t want her to find your stash of clothes on her own(if you have any) then she will likely se it as a betrayal. Then you will have to have a really awkward conversation.
- March 31, 2021 at 8:13 am #471724Bettylou CoxDuchessRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 20Replies: 2094Has thanked: 4170 timesBeen thanked: 7503 times
I’m sorry to hear your situation is still not resolved. You have come out to your wife, and she did not reject Candace…but you will not feel that she has accepted Candace, either, until you have The Talk and learn how much acceptance she is giving. She should be told that Candace is a part of you which you must express, but not in a way which will upset her. How much is too much? You need to know.
- March 31, 2021 at 6:20 am #471699LisaTLadyRegistered On: January 31, 2021Topics: 48Replies: 536Has thanked: 414 timesBeen thanked: 2489 times
Please don’t send her a note I know the reaction I would have got from my other half and it wouldn’t have been good. I don’t think you can prepare a long statement just create the opportunity to talk about it and be willing to answer some difficult questions honestly. I certainly found that I discovered as much about myself as she did.
“Can we talk.”
“I like to dress in women’s clothing”
Is probably all you need to say to set the ball rolling. The hard part is finding the right time to say it and handling the follow up questions and outcomes from those two simple statements.
- April 1, 2021 at 2:11 pm #472258Candace BaciLadyRegistered On: October 19, 2020Topics: 52Replies: 116Has thanked: 408 timesBeen thanked: 860 times
Oh Lisa thanks my biggest challenge is getting ting those two sentences out… Can we talk? I like to dress in women’s clothes !
I really believe she knows but I’m so so very nervous!!
- March 31, 2021 at 6:05 am #471695Clara CrossLadyRegistered On: December 7, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 260Has thanked: 739 timesBeen thanked: 1221 times
- April 1, 2021 at 2:13 pm #472260LadyRegistered On: October 19, 2020Topics: 52Replies: 116Has thanked: 408 timesBeen thanked: 860 times
Oh Clara I love the idea it’s so simple yet for me I am so very very nervous!
I know the sooner I get this out the better both her and I will be , it’s just a matter of me mustering up the courage .
- March 31, 2021 at 6:01 am #471693Julie ShawLadyRegistered On: September 3, 2015Topics: 7Replies: 46Has thanked: 219 timesBeen thanked: 206 times
What works for me is setting a date. “I WILL do this or that on THIS day”. Havig the, all be it self imposed, deadline really helps me get the job done, whatever it is. My SO has known since before we got married (I wouldn’t let her get into it without ALL the info) She hasn’t been 100% supportive, but she knows and goes between joining in and letting it happen out of her sight. But there have been moments where I have had to ask her to join me on a Girls Night Out and the like. So having that deadline really helped me to get the talk started.
Hope this helps, Sweetie.
- April 1, 2021 at 2:16 pm #472263LadyRegistered On: October 19, 2020Topics: 52Replies: 116Has thanked: 408 timesBeen thanked: 860 times
i have always been a goals driven person so I love the idea of setting a time table for myself I can only hope when the time comes I can muster up the courage to do it !!
I know this is a few months away but I am going on notice that I setting 7/1 as the end date for the conversation!!
- March 31, 2021 at 5:30 am #471675Jasmine SecrétLadyRegistered On: August 5, 2020Topics: 7Replies: 34Has thanked: 29 timesBeen thanked: 175 times
i completely understand! I’m trying to find the right time to tell my SO. We buy panties together (on sales, she asks me if there is anything I want), and knows I shave completely smooth. But that’s it. My friends here tell me she already knows. I’m not so sure, but, maybe. Find that right moment, quiet, calmly…tell her I guess. I’m looking to hear how it goes
- March 31, 2021 at 5:13 am #471664BigBangtheoryLadyRegistered On: January 14, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 176Has thanked: 53 timesBeen thanked: 725 times
I have to think that she knows and is just waiting for you to open up. She evidently is somewhat accepting if you spent five hours dressed in her presence and that is “opening up” to the fullest extent. Why torture yourself? It sounds like you have a wonderful wife that is loving and accepting. I am sure that she has questions so prepare your answers before the “TALK”! If she was totally against you dressing, your little Christmas surprise would have been a disaster. Have a honest and open discussion with your loving wife and you may be pleasantly surprised. My wife and I REALLY enjoy my girly time…… Stephanie
- April 1, 2021 at 2:20 pm #472266LadyRegistered On: October 19, 2020Topics: 52Replies: 116Has thanked: 408 timesBeen thanked: 860 times
You are so right how many wives would walk out of the shower on Christmas morning to find her husband dressed as a woman sitting on the couch and not freak out… a caring loving woman such as mine!!
I’m just so darn nervous . Do you think another attempt to dress up and then have the talk as Candace would help?
- April 2, 2021 at 4:52 am #472495BigBangtheoryLadyRegistered On: January 14, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 176Has thanked: 53 timesBeen thanked: 725 times
I am not so sure that dressing again is a viable solution. Because it was Christmas when you were first dressed may be the reason for her muted response. Only exception could possibly be April Fools. I have read a lot of the great responses to your questions and glad that you are making a plan. I think Clara’s opening line is perfect and Julia’s setting a date gives you a specific goal. However, I would encourage you to not wait until July. The cat is out of the bag already and her curiosity may lead her to dig into the matter further. I would think that self disclosure would be better than being found out. So many cds and gg’s have discussed this very thing here on CDH and the common theme is the hurt and betrayal that is felt by the gg’s. I do hope that you and her can embark on a new adventure together with honesty and openness. Stephanie
- March 31, 2021 at 5:05 am #471658GenevïéveLadyRegistered On: July 28, 2020Topics: 30Replies: 1197Has thanked: 10203 timesBeen thanked: 4918 times
So sorry to hear you are feeling down Candace… If you can’t have the ‘Talk’ face to face with your wife… write a letter, send a text… you’ll be under less pressure, and you can take your time to get your thoughts and feelings out exactly how you want. It’s a good ‘ice breaker’.
My wife and I were texting one day last July and I just blurted it out… so to speak. I’ve always found conversing via keyboard much easier than face to face.
- March 31, 2021 at 5:14 am #471665Stephanie ScottLadyRegistered On: February 8, 2021Topics: 18Replies: 246Has thanked: 706 timesBeen thanked: 1289 times
”Writing it down” is very good advice I think. I’m terrible at in person confrontation, and it’s very easy for me to “lose my place” in the flood of emotion so that it becomes a back and forth finger pointing exercise wherein I can’t remember some of the important points I want to make. If you write it down, at least you’ll have a “touchstone” in case peace talks break down! 😂 Then you can tell her, “hey, maybe this is a little too raw emotionally for us to work through in this sitting. So let’s take a break, and i’ll Ask you to read my CDing ‘manifesto’ ( 😝 ) and then we can circle back once you’ve digested my thoughts and feelings on the matter.”
Good luck, and I’ll be praying for you. I admire the fact that you want to work this through with your wife.
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