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  • #603630
    Jayne
    Participant
    Registered On: June 24, 2021
    Topics: 4
    Replies: 23
    Has thanked: 77 times
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    This might sound like a lot of fatuous nonsense, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between my experience of the world, versus the typical experience that a girl or woman might have.  I hadn’t given it much thought until recently, but if I had I probably wouldn’t have thought it was really all that different.  But recently it has been brought home to me that this is not necessarily true.  Maybe not true in the least.

    What happened is this: in conversation with my daughter, she explained how conscious she is, every time she walks down the street (NYC or Washington, usually), of the presence of any men that she will have to go past, and even more so of any who might be following her.  This is more true in the evening or night time, but the day time is different only in degree.  Depending on the situation, she might also be thinking about escape routes, should that be required.

    No doubt I was naive ever to think otherwise, but I was really shocked.  Stunned.  Gobsmacked.  What a revelation, for a guy like me (very tall, about 200 pounds), who walks anywhere with hardly a thought for who else might be on the street, no matter the hour or the neighborhood!  I think guys in general walk around the world like they own it — which they do, to a large extent — and not like a potential target.

    As for me, I’ve bee dabbling with crossdressing for the last several months, in a very small way — panties, a couple of tank tops, a pair of midi-length culottes.  But as I’ve dabbled, I’ve become more conscious that dressing up as a woman is no more than cos-play, if there isn’t something going on inside as well.  I might feel “girly” when I put those culottes on over my panties, but I’m very far from being a girl, and I can only think, very far from feeling what a girl would feel.

    So what I’m wondering about is: what else am I missing?  Lots, I’m sure.  So how can I get more clued-in to a girl’s or woman’s headspace?  Maybe there are women’s magazines it would be helpful to read?  Which ones?  Of course, conversations with wife and daughter will occur from time to time, but I don’t want to make it their job to educate me.  What else can I do on my own, to get a little more into female “headspace”?

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    • #604345
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
      Topics: 85
      Replies: 1981
      Has thanked: 8750 times
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      Let’s remember to respect our Dear Genetic Girls here, and leave the responses to them please.

      Thanks 🙂

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604341
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 385
      Has thanked: 200 times
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      No offence taken at all, Jayne. Putting feelings or emotions into words is a difficult task for more experienced writers, much more for us amateurs. While many CD’s we know also do cos-play, I find it easier to understand dressing as a woman than a Japanese animated action hero. Or a kitty cat.

      I read that you’re just dabbling in some female clothing and not quite committed to full dressing, yet. It is commendable that you want to understand the female mind other than just dressing like one.

      My Terri has stopped going to some social events because some of the members act like men even while dressed as women. Learning the mannerisms of a woman helps put the perspective of female life into play. How you walk, getting into your car, speaking with strangers or salespersons. A myriad of subtle habits learned over a lifetime is not easily described here.

      That you’re curious enough to ask is a good start. The CD’s I mentioned think clothing is enough. Far from the truth if you want to pass as a woman even for a few hours now and then.

      Anticipating more conversation!

      Hugs, Eileen

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #604405
        Jayne
        Lady
        Registered On: June 24, 2021
        Topics: 4
        Replies: 23
        Has thanked: 77 times
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        Eileen,

        Thanks so much for your reply.  You seem to appreciate what I was trying to get at –crossdressing is of course about dressing, but if it’s only about dressing then it seems a little superficial.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, per se —if playing dress-up is your thing, who am I to say you shouldn’t? — but most of the girls here seem to take it more seriously than that.

        Speaking strictly for myself, I don’t feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body.  I don’t feel like I have a woman’s personality that I can flip into when the circumstances permit.  In fact, I think my personality is masculine, the way I tend to interact with others is masculine, and my perception of the world is masculine; BUT, I also enjoy wearing my panties, and my tank tops, and my skirt-like culottes.  That doesn’t make me a woman, it just makes me a guy who enjoys women’s things.

        I’m very interested, though, in the interior stuff.  The way women think.  The way they experience the world.  The way they interact with men, and with each other.  I don’t know what I will do with any of that.  I’m a voracious learner, though, and I really would like to understand better the gender difference.

        One last point:  I’d seriously like to hear anyone’s recommendations for magazines to read.  Cosmopolitan seems a bit young for me (65 y.o.), and Vogue seems too focused on fashion.  I checked out The Daily Mail on a recommendation but I found it to be, um, a little reactionary.  So any ideas?

        Jayne

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #605312
          Eileen Bach
          Baroness
          Registered On: February 27, 2021
          Topics: 2
          Replies: 385
          Has thanked: 200 times
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          Dear Jayne.

          Most all men have within them a softer side they’ve learned to suppress from a young age. Choking up at Patriotic events, tenderness toward a child, playing with puppies. Not exactly feminine traits nor totally masculine. Allowing your emotions to become more prominent will help you achieve the mindset of a generic woman to some small degree.

          Much like my husband, he has no wish to become a woman, or live full time as one. That was a relief to know. Terri does present herself as a convincing woman. The thrill for her is the ‘living in the other world’, as she puts it.  Pegged as a CD would be most embarrassing.

          Wasn’t there a Clint Eastwood movie in which he was reading all these sensitive magazines so he could better understand his ex-wife and woo her back? Here’s our difference, I don’t remember the movie title, most guy don’t remember that part of the movie. Instead of magazine articles, maybe focus on movies you can watch with your wife. Movies she would enjoy like any of the Hallmark Channel. Sappy chick flicks and they all end the same. Cuddle up with popcorn, wine and tissues.

          We are about the same age, 65. Watch Steel Magnolias, and try to identify with the women characters, then allow yourself to cry.

          Hugs, Eileen

          2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #605455
            Jayne
            Lady
            Registered On: June 24, 2021
            Topics: 4
            Replies: 23
            Has thanked: 77 times
            Been thanked: 131 times

            Thanks, again, Eileen, for another thoughtful response.  I was home alone today and feeling under the weather a little, so I spent the day watching TV (not my usual routine in the daytime).  After watching a couple of guys, and a girl, trying to save the world (Don’t Look Up), I watched several episodes of “Emily in Paris.”  I think I’ll watch more of those, and maybe get the wife to watch as well.  I might still try to look at some magazine’s as well – couldn’t hurt, I suppose.  Wish me luck!

    • #604034
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 385
      Has thanked: 200 times
      Been thanked: 1540 times

      Dear Jayne,

      You’ve lived your life as formidable sized man. How to relate to another person’s life experience? That right there is the dilemma for most CD’s. Their feelings are much more than cos play, yet don’t know how to portray in a convincing way as a woman. Books or articles might help. The best way to understand is through experience.

      Dressing as a woman in public is scary enough, facing the vulnerabilities as a woman is another experience. Although, as a woman, we don’t see those challenges as it is our life experiences and quite used to it.

      Women generally don’t walk alone in unfamiliar neighborhoods. We don’t pop into a bar for a drink unescorted, or without a friend. Our valuables are in our purse, not an easily protected back pocket. In most settings, guys don’t start a casual conversation. They’re anticipating something more.

      Perhaps consider this next time you meet a woman, workplace or otherwise. How does she act toward you, and what if you were her meeting someone like yourself?  Become aware of body language, defensive movements. Try to look at a person through their eyes.

      Hugs, Eileen

      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #604056
        Jayne
        Lady
        Registered On: June 24, 2021
        Topics: 4
        Replies: 23
        Has thanked: 77 times
        Been thanked: 131 times

        Eileen,

        I hope I didn’t offend with my reference to cos-play,; I’m talking there about how I feel about myself, not anyone else.  Of course others feel differently, and maybe don’t have any trouble at all relating to GG’s, and I don’t question the validity of that.

        What I’m trying to get at is just that anyone living in a male body has a certain experience in the world just because of that.  Because they don’t have to deal with a woman’s biology.  Because other people treat them differently.  Because, in some cases, they are simply large and imposing bodies.  And then they react to those things in one way or another.

        As for me, I’m just trying to figure out how dressing fits in with the rest of me.  And I sincerely would like to be better able to connect with “female headspace,” if that’s possible.  So, sorry if I wasn’t tactful.

        Cheers,

        Jayne

        2 users thanked author for this post.
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