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This might sound like a lot of fatuous nonsense, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between my experience of the world, versus the typical experience that a girl or woman might have. I hadn’t given it much thought until recently, but if I had I probably wouldn’t have thought it was really all that different. But recently it has been brought home to me that this is not necessarily true. Maybe not true in the least.
What happened is this: in conversation with my daughter, she explained how conscious she is, every time she walks down the street (NYC or Washington, usually), of the presence of any men that she will have to go past, and even more so of any who might be following her. This is more true in the evening or night time, but the day time is different only in degree. Depending on the situation, she might also be thinking about escape routes, should that be required.
No doubt I was naive ever to think otherwise, but I was really shocked. Stunned. Gobsmacked. What a revelation, for a guy like me (very tall, about 200 pounds), who walks anywhere with hardly a thought for who else might be on the street, no matter the hour or the neighborhood! I think guys in general walk around the world like they own it — which they do, to a large extent — and not like a potential target.
As for me, I’ve bee dabbling with crossdressing for the last several months, in a very small way — panties, a couple of tank tops, a pair of midi-length culottes. But as I’ve dabbled, I’ve become more conscious that dressing up as a woman is no more than cos-play, if there isn’t something going on inside as well. I might feel “girly” when I put those culottes on over my panties, but I’m very far from being a girl, and I can only think, very far from feeling what a girl would feel.
So what I’m wondering about is: what else am I missing? Lots, I’m sure. So how can I get more clued-in to a girl’s or woman’s headspace? Maybe there are women’s magazines it would be helpful to read? Which ones? Of course, conversations with wife and daughter will occur from time to time, but I don’t want to make it their job to educate me. What else can I do on my own, to get a little more into female “headspace”?
Eileen,
I hope I didn’t offend with my reference to cos-play,; I’m talking there about how I feel about myself, not anyone else. Of course others feel differently, and maybe don’t have any trouble at all relating to GG’s, and I don’t question the validity of that.
What I’m trying to get at is just that anyone living in a male body has a certain experience in the world just because of that. Because they don’t have to deal with a woman’s biology. Because other people treat them differently. Because, in some cases, they are simply large and imposing bodies. And then they react to those things in one way or another.
As for me, I’m just trying to figure out how dressing fits in with the rest of me. And I sincerely would like to be better able to connect with “female headspace,” if that’s possible. So, sorry if I wasn’t tactful.
Cheers,
Jayne
Eileen,
Thanks so much for your reply. You seem to appreciate what I was trying to get at –crossdressing is of course about dressing, but if it’s only about dressing then it seems a little superficial. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, per se —if playing dress-up is your thing, who am I to say you shouldn’t? — but most of the girls here seem to take it more seriously than that.
Speaking strictly for myself, I don’t feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body. I don’t feel like I have a woman’s personality that I can flip into when the circumstances permit. In fact, I think my personality is masculine, the way I tend to interact with others is masculine, and my perception of the world is masculine; BUT, I also enjoy wearing my panties, and my tank tops, and my skirt-like culottes. That doesn’t make me a woman, it just makes me a guy who enjoys women’s things.
I’m very interested, though, in the interior stuff. The way women think. The way they experience the world. The way they interact with men, and with each other. I don’t know what I will do with any of that. I’m a voracious learner, though, and I really would like to understand better the gender difference.
One last point: I’d seriously like to hear anyone’s recommendations for magazines to read. Cosmopolitan seems a bit young for me (65 y.o.), and Vogue seems too focused on fashion. I checked out The Daily Mail on a recommendation but I found it to be, um, a little reactionary. So any ideas?
Jayne
Thanks, again, Eileen, for another thoughtful response. I was home alone today and feeling under the weather a little, so I spent the day watching TV (not my usual routine in the daytime). After watching a couple of guys, and a girl, trying to save the world (Don’t Look Up), I watched several episodes of “Emily in Paris.” I think I’ll watch more of those, and maybe get the wife to watch as well. I might still try to look at some magazine’s as well – couldn’t hurt, I suppose. Wish me luck!
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