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Always had a known feminine side to me , becoming increasingly feminine these days.🌹🌹🧚
I wouldn’t say I’ve ever been very feminine… I think the first time I got mistaken for my dad on the phone was when I was around 12, maybe even younger… but I’ve also always had my quirks. Like the way I move my hands. I remember being really self-conscious of that when I was younger, probably how I got into the habit of sticking my hands in my pockets. Now I let myself have fun with it 🙂
Masculine or feminine (or, gender, if you will) is a set of behaviors that are practiced by a group of people that confirm to themselves and others that they are who they say they are, that they “belong” to that group. In essence, it is a stereotype. But this can depend on the period of time you are asking, or on circumstances.
Some examples follow. Is makeup feminine? Male actors wear makeup to counteract the harsh lights. (The same can be said for TV personalities.) Or they wear makeup to change their appearance – make them look older, younger, or like someone else. Men wore “war paint.” (Notice how we change the words to try to enforce the concept of gender binary.)
Are skirts/dresses feminine? Men wear kilts, men wear bathrobes. Young boys used to wear dresses. Men wore “nightshirts” (think of Scrooge). Men wore togas. Men wore “robes” that are, for all practical purposes, dresses.
Is pink feminine? Many years ago, pink was a man’s color and blue a women’s color. This quickly changed with Jacqueline Kennedy wearing a pink outfit.
Is lace feminine? Renaissance and colonial noblemen wore shirts with wide lacy sleeves and lacy plackets.
Are sports masculine? There are plenty of women athletes. Attend any sporting event and there are plenty of women fans.
Even within any category, there are people who are outside the averages. You can easily find women who hate wearing dresses or skirts. We can find women who like to use tools to build things. We can find men who prefer pastel colors, or men who hate sports, or men who are nurturing. And here, we find many men who like wearing dresses or skirts or softer or more colorful tops. But we also find many men who like to wear women’s jeans.
Does fitting outside of the norm in one category mean you fit outside of the norm in another? Here too there is always a range. There are a number of members on this site who say they like to wear women’s clothing while they still have facial hair. So not everyone wants to go all out and be one extreme or another.
There are also plenty of gay men who have no desire to be effeminate. People’s belief that gay men like to be effeminate is why a crossdresser who comes out is usually asked first, “Are you gay?” I think the correlation between being gay and being feminine is not nearly as high as people believe.
So while many crossdressers enjoy other activities or behaviors that are stereotypically associated with women, we are each individuals and there is a whole range with each behavior or activity.
I used to have a fake outer shell of a tough guy. I have shed that. I act more kinder and nurturing now. It’s probably not an obvious feminine behavior, but much different than the past.
My feminine side only comes out when I get into Stephanie mode.
I think so. Depends how we define feminine. I have always had a ” soft ” look and side to me, and have been told at times ” you can be such a girl sometimes “. That came mostly from my excessive sensitivity and emotional intensity. Since my coming out ( on CDH at least ) it has become worse!!!! I can get emotional and start crying at the drop of a hat. Honest!! Its embarrassing watching some typically guy movie with others and getting teary eyed at every sensitive scene. It is annoying at times, but I CAN’T STOP IT! Wearing mascara is dangerous for me, knowing I could start crying over something as simple as a dead squirrel on the side of the road.
It has nothing to do with whether I am in drab or in my pretty clothes either. And that’s just how I am!
Stevie
I must say that I am much happier when I am dressed. I have always had more feminine than masculine inclinations. I was never competitive or combative. I thought boys were cruel and crude. However I never felt attracted to boys. I always enjoyed being with girls. Dressing allows me to express that side of myself more freely. I understand what you’re saying Kay and that’s why you can never judge a book by its cover. If I transitioned I would only be interested in a cis or trans female partner.
I was always very masculine until I started cross-dressing late in life. I find when I am dressed as Lucy I feel different and much more feminine, which my wife thinks as well.
Interesting question, Nick; I should think that in the absence of a strong feminine side, one would never be inclined to Dress at all. Mine happens to be very active, but it wasn’t until some time after the Pink Fog overcame me a few short years ago that I recognized that truth.
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