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Hi everyone, My name (as far as you know lol) is Nicole and I am the GG wife of Melanie Shae. I have a lot of anxiety about giving out too much personal information that can identify me, so instead of telling you what I do or where I’m from, I will just tell you our story thus far. He came out to me as a crossdresser in the first couple weeks of our relationship (10 years ago) and I did not react well, but I also thought that this only meant wearing panties in the bedroom. I was upset about it and he put it away until about two months ago when I forced him to tell me why we hadn’t been able to be consistently intimate in 10 years.
He had been going through a bout of depression and I told him that this couldn’t go on anymore. So he told me that he needed to wear female clothes in the bedroom to feel intimate. (it’s more than just that, but I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about.) I had prepared over the years for this day and I was finally ready to do this for him and we had a week of the best sex of both of our lives whether he was the boy in the situation or the girl, it was all amazing and we felt so close and bonded.
Then he ordered the fake boobs. I thought, that’s a little uncomfortable, but I get it. Then he wanted to wear clothes around the house. That was terrifying. I hear a lot of women say they can handle it around the house but not in the bedroom. I’m very much the opposite. I can look at the CDing as a kink, but when it becomes a lifestyle, that is a boundary that cannot be crossed for me. The thought of hanging out with my husband as Melanie gives me panic attacks and makes me worry that one day I will have to tell our future children or my parents. I also have no desire to live as a lesbian.
We went through about a month of him trying to wear casual women’s clothes around me and I even did his makeup a couple of times, but I was dying inside. I couldn’t look at him that way. I eventually exploded. I was inconsolable for about a week straight. I couldn’t look at him without crying, I started smoking again, I called “Melanie” a c**t to his face several times and even threatened to fight her (lol) Basically, it was extremely unhealthy. I was sure that I would have to divorce him and the thought alone would send me spiraling all over again. I was in a very dark place that still lingers in the back of my mind now.
Since then he has committed to seeing a therapist weekly, he has promised to keep Melanie far away from me. He can still wear panties in the bedroom when it’s his turn. He gets to dress while I’m at work and when he’s with his very supportive female friends. Yesterday we went shopping for boy clothes that help him express himself better so that he can feel more comfortable because his main issue is that men’s clothing has no character and he has a personality big enough for two (lol) We also bought some clothes for Melanie and some female sleepwear that looks masculine enough for me to be comfortable seeing. He welled up with emotion at the fact that I was shopping with him and we honestly had a great time for the first time in what seemed like forever.
The good that has come out of all this is that he listens now. He is not as selfish of a person and he cares about my feelings. Before he would just be cold and defensive. He is beautifully navigating these waters with me and although the idea of seeing Melanie still makes my heart ache, I can feel like my husband is still here and loves me and cares for me. I don’t know what the future will hold and I don’t even know if this is a normal introduction, but that’s us in a nutshell. We are taking this one day at a time and we’re not perfect. the rules are malleable and change depending on my level of confidence that day. But it does feel good to know that we are working together and as he put it so beautifully, Melanie was always a part of him, but I completed him. I feel the same way about him. I may not believe in a higher power, but I do believe that this man is my soul mate and that these trials we face have little meaning in comparison to the bond we have forged all these years. Good luck to you all and please be sure to remember your partners. Love your partners. Listen to them and nurture them. That is what will bring true happiness in the end.
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