- November 17, 2022 at 4:02 pm #692570
Weeks ago I rushed into a thrift store for shoes, picked a pair that I like with block heels.(sensible start, right). I slip one foot into a shoe to see if the size was right. Close enough- I have to get going before some lady scolds me.
Mustard a brave face in the check out line. The lady clerk was sooooo nice. “Do you want to sign up for our discount program?” No odd looks, no comments. I rush to car, heart racing. I can’t wait to get home to try these one. I slip on some cable knit tights and then the shoes. OMG- they are 5 inch heels! I can’t stand up much less walk and strut. At least they are good for modeling! I do take some pictures and do my first post on CDH.
So over the last few weeks I look at Walmart and Thrift stores for shoes that I can walk in. I just walk around looking dorky and rush out. Then last Saturday, I am in a thrift store and find a shoe that I actually try on. It fits on the right foot. OK- I am going to walk right up to cashier and go home with these! Except…. I can’t find the left shoe in a box, on a different shelf, no where to be found.
It must be that I am not meant to get nice things for Vivian. I try again at the thrift store. Low heels, check. Fits right foot, check. (Is anyone watching? I can look- keep your head down) OK, the left foot is a bit tight but I have to make do. I can’t stay here like I belong. So, I take them to cashier and it’s the same nice lady. I make it out alive.
Try them on at home. First few minutes are so fulfilling but then the I realize they aren’t the right size. Damn, another failure. The store has return policy for exchanges but can I do it again?
Today was the day! Walked in tried on 3 pairs and found one that works! Now I have to do the exchange in front of God and everyone. But because the shoe Gods are smiling on me, the cashier is my favorite lady. I explain I need to exchange. She says the new ones are more expense but not by much so let’s call if even. As I walk to the car I can feel a bit of giddiness. Maybe even a bit of excitement, if you know what I mean.
I have some stops to make on the way home but I can’t wait to walk in my new shoes. I stop in a parking lot and pretend I need to move something from the back seat to the hatch. I get out walk about the car in my new heels. Maybe someone driving by with see me- I DON’T CARE. The shoes look good and I feel great. Drive about in my new shoes to the next stop but I have to do that again. If it worked once, let’s do it again. So the same package goes from hatch to the back seat with me walking confidently.
It is hard to describe the feeling but everyone here knows it! I get lucky and my disabled wife has a 2 hour appointment so I can rush home while she is at the doctor to bring out Vivian. First thing is slip on the new pumps and unload the car. Strut around just little in the kitchen. Now it’s time to put on thigh highs with a black garter on each leg. I slip on an oversized blouse of my wife’s. Then I walk about as the best Vivian yet. (I have sooooo far to go to be anything close to what I envision Vivi to be)
I do take a few pictures. I hope to post one or more later.
What a day! It sure caused me to do some introspection too. Why do I do this? Is it just the thrill of having secret? Do I really think I could be pretty? I have the feminine hands and feet but ohhhhh that face. So many random thoughts have consumed my afternoon.
Thanks for “listening” and I so appreciate CDH as a way to share my day.
- November 17, 2022 at 4:44 pm #692582Paula HereLady
The first pair of shoes I bought, I went back to the thrift store 3 times before buying them. $5. 3 1/2″ heel black pump. When I went to by the I put on my wife’s jeans, her sweater one of her winter hats, it was December, some lip stick and eye makeup, and a pair of her boots that I could squeeze my feet in. I thought the whole world was watching. I tried them on and they fit. I walk to the cash, and pay in cash. I am over the moon. I run home and pull on my stockings and walk around in the first pair of shoes that fit. Just thrilled. I put everything away so I thought.
My wife came home and found the receipt for the shoes on the dining table by my wallet. I then had to explain myself. 3 Yeats later and I still walk around in those shoes and my wife just says to be carful on the stairs.
Have a great day
Love and Hugs
- November 17, 2022 at 6:06 pm #692606
Paula- I am so impressed you could walk in heels so quickly. Nice to hear that you too had the starts and stops with that first purchase of shoes. Ladies like you here on CDH have shown me I am not alone with my fear.
- November 17, 2022 at 6:25 pm #692614MeredithLady
I find people at thrift stores to be very understanding. Congrats on ‘stepping out. ‘
- November 18, 2022 at 8:04 am #692705AnonymousLady
Glad you’ve always had a good experience at thrift stores but thats not always the case. If its a church ran thrift store you may get negative looks or even feedback. Maybe its because I live in the conservative religious south but I’ve been highly embarrassed and laughed at by all the customers when buying skirts at a church thrift store. Just be prepared for negative reactions because there are those who condemn us.
- November 19, 2022 at 6:23 pm #693176MeredithLady
Goodwill and Salvation Army employees have always been fine to me here in Texas. I’ve had bad experiences at garage sales and rummage sales. I’ve never been to a church run store, other than SA as I figure they are for needier people than I am. I do appreciate your advice, that may be instinctively why I’ve avoided the. Best, Meredith.
- November 18, 2022 at 12:06 am #692648Patricia SullivanDuchess
The first time I bought women’s shoes in drab
Back in 1979 shortly after my wife and I moved to Marietta we shopping this one night and went by a Thom McCann shoe store and saw a really pretty pair of sandals and got one of the girls working there to bring out a pair in my size, Gerri grabbed a pair of peds and I sat and put them on walking around the store to try them out, while Gerri told the girls I was a female impersonator and needed them for a show and I still have them today, they have a 5″ heel and a 1″ platform and I can wear them all day without my feet hurting I wore them along with a full outfit the last 3 days I worked at a printing company in Gainesville, Florida, dealt with customers who never had a clue, even the girls in a barbershop/nail salon one of whom had repaired a busted acrylic nail for me didn’t recognize me at first and one of the girls commented I walked better in those heels than she could have. 🙂
PS those shoes are finally starting to show their age a little as the leather straps are finally starting to show some cracks, and they are real leather.
- November 18, 2022 at 2:00 am #692667Monica DelsantoLady
I usually buy my femme things online, but I came to the realization that shoes really needed to be bought in person and tried on. The first time I bought shoes after I was married was at a Target near where I work. I went in mid-morning when they weren’t so busy. I was really nervous browsing around the women’s shoe section but luckily there was no one around. I found a nice pair of black pumps that I wanted and they even had had my size (11)! I quickly tried one both shoe and walked a few feet in them on and they seemed to fit OK. I took them up to the middle-aged female cashier and was the only person in line. I was trying to look nonchalant and praying my nervousness wasn’t showing. She opened the box before scanning them. She didn’t even bat an eye let alone say anything to me other than the small talk about the really cold weather we were having. I paid and left so relieved and so excited.
The second time I was much more comfortable. There was a women’s shoe boutique nearby whose webpage had the statement “We ABSOLUTLEY do sell shoes to men”. I took that as a good sign considering I don’t live in the most accepting area of the country. I prepared by putting on pantyhose without socks covering them up under my male pants. I was still nervous about going in but I was the only person there except for a young woman looking at stockings. The owner came up to me and let me browns around after asking what I was looking for. Eventually I found a pair of black 4 inch heels with ankle straps which I have always loved. She didn’t have my size in stock but special ordered them for me. She asked me how long I was crossdressing and we had a nice conversation. She told me a lot of men come in for shoes and other accessories. I left feeling great and looking forward to when they came in.
I got a call about a week and a half later, thankfully while I was at work and not when my wife was around. I took the next afternoon off from work and went back again wearing pantyhose. This time the shop was empty. I tried them on in front of her and walked around. They fit perfectly and looked great. She had to help me with the straps because my hands were shaking so much from excitement and nervousness. It was the best shopping experience I ever had! Sadly the store closed about a year later and I never had a chance to go back.
- November 18, 2022 at 3:29 am #692676
I wore the thinnest socks I have yesterday anticipating a shoe shopping excursion. Wouldn’t you know it was like 25 degrees when I was out. Though the shoes fit pretty good, I should wear pantyhose or thigh highs next time.
Thanks for the encouragement!
- November 18, 2022 at 2:04 am #692669
Look at you sashaying around the car, I guess Missouri really is the “show me” state!
You were very brave and persistent and I’m so glad it paid off. At size 13 US mens I could never buy women’s shoes at a thrift store…unless a place called St. Vincent de Paula opens up.
Wear your shoes in happiness and good health!
Hugs & kisses,
- November 18, 2022 at 3:37 am #692677
“Sashaying” – what a great description of Vivi’s brief walk.
I am cursed to have a men’s shoe size of 7 1/2 but Vivian is blessed to wear a very popular women’s shoe size.
You are always so positive with your comments. Much appreciated by us newbies.
- November 18, 2022 at 5:43 am #692693Nikki Just NikkiLady
Stepping out in public feels impossible until it doesn’t! Thank you for sharing that moment with us, I can almost feel how thrilling that was for you.
I haven’t shopped for shoes yet, but your story reminded me of my first time out, in part because it was also spontaneous. My wife needed to pick up a prescription and the pharmacy was closing in 15 minutes. She doesn’t drive, and I was fully dressed; leopard print mini, a lovely merino wool sweater, garters and stockings, and a wig. I just grabbed the keys and said let’s go! I remember how charged I felt walking down the driveway and getting in the truck. I felt like a goddamn superhero! Since then I’ve been more publically dressed, but it wouldn’t have happened without that first step. Congratulations on yours, Vivian!
- November 18, 2022 at 8:33 am #692711
Thanks for the lovely note of encouragement. Mini, stockings, garters then in and out of a truck. Omg, there had to be lots of leg showing. You are one brave lady!
- November 18, 2022 at 10:06 am #692735Kristen SmithlyLady
I once bought a nightie from Target many years ago and the cashier asked “did you find your my correct size?’ I said I hope so, same as I have been buying now for a while. She replied “this one is very pretty. I am sure it will look good on you” handed me my bag and said “thank you for visiting us today”. Walked out feeling pretty good!
- November 18, 2022 at 12:05 pm #692756Jill QuinnLady
Oh Vivian, good for you! How thrilling! I had to chuckle when you mentioned moving that box back and forth in your car. I walked out in broad daylight all dressed a few weeks ago for the first time, and I walked to my car and pretended to look for something in the backseat. Great minds, huh?
I did it again two days ago, and the advantage is that as we’re in there, we can look out the windows to see if or who, is paying attention to us.
I hope you get more opportunities to dress and eventually go out as Vivian for the world to see and meet.
Congratulations on your success,
- November 18, 2022 at 12:49 pm #692771
Great minds indeed. I tried to think of some place indoors because of the cold weather. But, couldn’t think straight and I couldn’t wait so I made up a task.
- November 18, 2022 at 12:18 pm #692761Anonymous
Ohhh that first time undescribable, awsome feeling. May it never be forgotten.
- November 18, 2022 at 12:53 pm #692775
I hadn’t really consider the “historical” context to the brief but exhilarating walk. But as your post noted, I will remember that little public display forever.
Soooooo nice to have ladies that truly understand these moments.
- November 19, 2022 at 9:30 am #693034J JLady
I had a similar experience as a Dillard’s. When I was purchasing a night gown the SA said how pretty it was and how well it works on flat chest…obviously meaning me.
- November 21, 2022 at 6:42 am #693944Emily LaceLady
Congrats Vivian! I am soooo jealous. Getting my own pair of heels is still on my bucket list.
- November 24, 2022 at 4:26 am #696486
Hi, Emily. I hope you get your shoes soon. I still have a long way to go in order to complete my bucket list. Hugs, Allysa
- November 22, 2022 at 3:34 pm #696123BeckaLady
Sorry I did not read the entire post! When I see more than a paragraph I have a hard time reading! (Some form of dysphoria for me, odd). But anyway…..
…..I love trying on shoes in public (stores). Do it all the time!
Something exciting about it and people see me doing it, no problems. Love shoes too, too much!
- November 24, 2022 at 4:23 am #696485
Good morning Vivian. Congratulations on the new shoes. It is a total thrill getting shoes and trying them on. I cannot buy shoes without wearing them as soon as possible. Usually I make it to the car and slip them on for the drive home. It took me awhile to learn how to walk and balance in heels so I definitely know how it is. Just remember to stand straight and dont look down. That will help you to maintain your balanceand do leg stretches this will help with a more natural stride. Hugs, Allysa
- November 24, 2022 at 5:45 am #696496
Hi Allsya- I am still learning to walk in heels so any and all tips are welcome. I am definitely more confident on carpet but oh that sound of heels on hardwood and tile!!!!
- November 24, 2022 at 4:45 am #696488Sara CousinsLady
My first pair of heels arrived and I couldn’t wait to try them on. They are 2 inch block high heels and when I stood up I almost kept going face first into the wall. Definitely not the same as wearing runners lol. Once I got over that hurdle of standing then walking was a treat and definitely not on my hardwood floor. Carpet training for starters and hoping I don’t twist an ankle but I just love the look and enhances my female feelings even more.
Everyday seems to bring something new into my evolution and CD transition and this site makes everything that much easier.
- November 24, 2022 at 5:52 am #696501
Hi Sara- I am still learning the walk so all tips are more than welcome. I wish I wasn’t closeted so I could practice more around the house. You are so right about CDH making the exploration of my feminine side easier (and without the guilt).
- November 24, 2022 at 8:10 am #696528Sara CousinsLady
Thanks for the reply. I believe we need all the friends and help here being so new at this. Made lots of mistakes already especially online shopping because sizes are whacky and different depending on the retailer and where they are. Some stuff already dropped at the thrift store drop box and hopefully someone else can get some use. My heels are a size 44; now figure that one out but I got a note back from them and they helped me size them to my feet and they fit perfect. Now if I can just keep my balance and get used to them lol
Hope you enjoy this ride as much as I am and if you wish to “friend” I would be good with that too.
- November 24, 2022 at 7:42 am #696519J JLady
Try one of the discount stores that have all the shoes out by sizes. We have several different chains in California. Go to you approximate size and try some on. No sales person necessary, and in my experience the stores are not very crowded, so it is easy to try on shoes without people being around. Then just go to the register and pay. I have never had an issue buying heels, or other styles of women’s shoes.
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