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It took sometime but I finally told my wife and showed her what I looked like crossdressing
Hopefully all went well. 😊
It went ok but I don’t know what to do now
You took a huge step, what to do now is be yourself. 😊
What a huge amount of courage you have! Regardless whether it well or not so well, I don’t think many situations with your wife could be more difficult. My best to both of you.
It is not going as I had hoped
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Katherine it never goes as planned or hoped but that doesn’t mean to give up. This will be a rough road for you both. As everyone here has said don’t push to hard and keep communication open. After 20 years with my wife I can say just when everything is great in your mind your SO will blind side you with something about it and devastate your confidence and comfort. Then you talk and talk amd talk and start rebuilding. Remember at ALL times it is just as tough if not harder for them than you. Hang in.. both of you!
🍷C
Dear Katherine, is this really continteous or rather silent. Hope it improves every day from here on. Please be patient. I know The work will be totally worth it. I don’t have this experience though so…..
Katherine welcome a big step and now a new journey is about to start . I hope all went well , many changes and definitely conversations must be made and agreements to help not just you but especially your wife as she ‘s the one who must find her strength to accept a new way in her life. Best to the both of you , being here you have many to help and comfort you on your journeys ahead. 🌹
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Katherine congratulations and good luck. Such a HUGE and SCARY step. I hope you both can communicate and grow together. My thoughts are with you both.
🍷C
Katherine, I applaud your courage! It’s so much easier to leave it buried. I agree with others here that it’s one heck of an adjustment for a SO. I’m not in a relationship now, so it’s easy for me to spout advice. What I found in telling 4 friends so far, including an ex-girlfriend, is to present the theory/concept in words, and allow them to ask the questions that occur to them. The questions they ask are at the level at which they are prepared to explore. This is when it’s really important for me to set my agenda aside. Eventually there will come a time where they are Curious to see something (me dressed as Lorie). Even then, I think I will wait until they seem invested enough to accept what they see. Hell, I’m still not used to seeing myself en femme, yet.
For example, with the ex, there was a point (second conversation) where she asked why I had not told her about Lorie when we were dating. Excellent question. Part of my answer was that I wasn’t fully aware of my identity at the time. But I also heard her pain of “betrayal.” So I addressed that instead.
Eventually we addressed what it would be like for her to be with me when I was en femme. I offered to send pictures if she thought that was a good idea. Then she asked me, before seeing any pictures (she lives 300 miles away now), if Lorie would go to dinner with her when she comes into town next month to visit someone else. Wow! She thought the pictures were awesome, she was envious of some of the outfits, and gave advice for wig selection. What a sweetie! Wish she had been the one.
My personal experience: let them ask the questions, answer only the questions, and they will progress at a level at which they are comfortable.
Katherine welcome to CDH and wow what a big step congratulations. I think Lorie summed it up best take it slow and what for their questions and answer only their questions. One of the biggest problems I had is I wanted to go to quickly and show my pics and tell my thoughts and information. And she was not ready for that even though I knew to go slow I was still not going slow enough. It felt like a snails pace and I wanted a revelation. So good luck and stay in touch there are a lot of ladies that have gone through what you are going through and can help. If you need to chat drop me a line.
Sara Marie
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