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in my first post I commented that my spouse thinks that due to some recent stress and losses in his life he is hiding his desire to CD. So he has gotten some clothing and is testing the water. I, in turn, have gone through the entire spectrum of feelings-shock, fear, conflict,disbelief, anger, sympathy. Right now I just feel numb. I have seen him is his lingerie and found it a “turn on” when in bed together. Is this normal?Unfortunately he says CD is not sexual for him. He finds it relaxing and comforting. My own sexual response is frightening to me. I have never been interested in a relationship with a woman.
Oh, I am just so messed up. Let the counseling begin !
I am very new to this community but I feel like I have some import insight just based on my own soul searching, I’d like to start by saying that there is NOTHING wrong with you for this.
I am a straight male crossdresser, I have been for several years. I understand what your husband is saying about female clothes being comforting. I have felt some of that to. For me; however, my own crossdressing has given me great sexual arousal. After searching for deeper meaning in this for most of my life I have found some guesses but what I have determined is that the ONLY thing that matters is that I like it. The psychology behind sexual desires is so incredibly complicated, the “causes” behind fetishes such as mine, and yours, are not entirely known and I don’t think they need to be. It seems to me that if you and your husband communicate enough you could find some sort of compromise. I really think you two should find a way that his crossdressing can relax him and sexually arouse you, win-win. I don’t think there is any reason that he shouldn’t be able to, for example, paint his nails for his own relaxation and then put those pretty fingers to good use to please you;). sorry if I’m being graphic, haha, I am just very open about stuff like this.
Remember, never feel bad about what makes you happy. I hope you two can work something out.
hello Karen,
I wanted to reply to you, but now I’m not sure just how I want to phrase it. First off there is nothing wrong with you. I think everyone has that thought in their heads. Some act upon it others do not. End of story.
I have been crossdressing all my life. I may be Transgender, but I can tell you I will never sleep male or a cross-dressing male, Period. That makes me a Lisbeian, which is just fine. I will never stop wanting real Women to share a life with and having sex with. I hope this makes some sense to you.
You need to talk about what you both want form each sex wise and take it from there
Love,
Vicki E.Dear Karen.
Yes it’s normal for guys in high stress jobs to crossdress I to have been in A job that put me under great stress and found getting out of my male cloths and slipping into the softness and comforting feel of female attire made A radicle change and settled me down. I talked to A few air controllers they told me the same thing, the next time you fly the man with your life in his hands might be wearing panties and A bra. AS finding it A turn on my wife enjoys me in bed wearing nighties and panties, she loves the feel of the silky material and says it’s only pieces of cloth and has never had any hangups about it. You don’t have to worry about him being gay or wanting A sex change witch is very rare among men like us. by excepting him as he is will reward many times over with A closer and loving relationship with your man.
Hi Karen
No there is nothing wrong with you !
Now you know how men feel when they have their spouse wrapped is satin, silk, lace and other gorgeous materials in beautiful bright patterns and colours, inherently enhances attraction.
You have merely seen past the template of the gender stereotype he is supposed to adhere to. Why shouldn’t we wear these gorgeous clothes, and why shouldn’t we be seen to be attractive dressed in traditionally feminine clothes. I feel I look much better when Bianca comes out to play, but alas cannot express this in my daily life for reasons I will not go into now.
You are a wonderful woman, do not get all messed up feeling guilty at finding your spouse attractive whatever he wears. Why is it wrong ? What harm is it doing, and if it makes you both feel good then why not do it !
love
Bianca
Hi I thought I would have my twopenny worth on this. I agree with everyone’s comments that it is normal to be turned on by your hubby in female garb, I am surprised your hubby only wants to dress as a comfort. In my case yes it arouses me to look like an attractive woman but also the more you dress the more normal it feels. I hope he comes round to your way of thinking and you both enjoy a spot of ” lesbian ” one on one time. Sandra xx
Karen, from the responses that you have received from all the gurls here, not much more that I can add to but will try. What’s important is a relationship is based on truthfulness and understanding. Knowing how each other feelings and needs. Your thoughts of him and you are totally natural and to be honest a welcome relief in any relationship. This is certainly the place you’ll find many of the answers you are seeking. For you it would be extremely difficult. I saw the shock from my wife as for us we were married for many years and only a short while ago that I opened up to her . The biggest concern was the mistrust I caused. Seeing her and the hurt that it caused was hard. We had many talks and through this agreements and guidelines were set and together were slowly working it out. But Cdh and it’s resources helped my wife and myself understand more about our individual troubles. I learned more about myself and she with help from a wonderful group we have here exclusive for my wife where many GG girls like yourself could receive the help and support to get the answers your wanted to know. This group – private ( wives and significant others ) . For you special ladies where Cders are not allowed. Meet with them and get the support you need. Look into other forms written by others who talk about their experiences, their questions they may ask with many offering help and advice so everyone can understand better on so many confusing topic . Many face this troubling ordeal but be assured you have support and help from everyone here . Relax, get comfortable and enjoy being part of this wonderful community that really does care for all that passes through our doors. The best to you both as you venture through these new paths together . Very happy meeting you and welcome.
Stephanie 🌹
Whelp, not being interested in women is fine because your husband is a man! Not to project or assume gender here of course. The person is who the person is I should say.
As far as sexual responses go, humans get funky with all sorts of people places things, and random objects even. I personally identify with the same reasons to dress as your husband, I love to relax dressed up as mostly a ‘down-time’ activity which, for the most part, has nothing to do with sex at all.
If my wife told me she found it a turn out with me in lingerie, then I’d be over the moon. I’d be nervous about hearing it, as I expect she tolerates it as long as I’m open with her about it, but still, I would love to hear that and to begin to think about it in a new and encouraging light. I don’t expect it nor do I project some unborn expectation onto her (a discrepancy therein causing undue emotional stress), but if it was truly the case, then I would love her to tell me.
I obviously don’t know your husband, but for me, dressing up can be super sensitive, and sometimes emotionally confusing. It’s okay to work that out on both ends, and I’d encourage you to bring it up to him. It’s okay to feel whatever you feel.
I too became interested in someone after he “came out” to me. Now before that I was divorced “straight” or so I male.
After I met Belinda, my life took a big change. Soon we were dating and two years ago we moved in together. We just got back from a wonderful vacation in Mexico. Ten great days. Belinda was able to be the beautiful woman she is for 24/7. Our last day there we met with the resort wedding planner and in a year we are getting married.
Just support your man. You should enjoy this adventure as well.
Hi Karen
My take on this is that it matters little what the person presents as, what gender they are, what their religion is, what their politics are, what matters is the person within. Once you strip out all the other things it’s the inner person and your connection with that person that makes the real difference. As to why you find him a turn on when he wears lingerie to bed, I suspect it may be to do with the sensual feeling, the fact that he feels a relaxing and comfortable feeling and that you love the inner person. It may be that with his crossdressing, his inner person has become more prominent and you feel comfortable with that.
Andrea x
Hi Karen. There,s nothing wrong with you at all! More women than you realize are turned on by a man wearing women,s clothes. The website Love Honey even has a website that encourages married men to experiment with different articles of women,s lingerie. And Love Honey is FAR from being the only website that does that. It,s wonderful that you,re turned on by that!! Hopefully you guys will be able to do much more experimentation in the future!
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