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    • #377409

      About 20 years ago, I shaved, dressed, covered my Adam’s Apple with a turtleneck, put on lipstick and went down to a woman’s shoe store to buy a pair.  I was recognized immediately and laughed at by a pair of women.  Since then, I’m strictly private – very private because my wife does not approve.

    • #377416

      Oh my goodness that sounds like a terrible experience. Don’t discount your bravery, it must have taken a lot of courage to take those steps.

      I would hope that times and attitudes have moved on. And that perhaps some day you can find a way back outside.

    • #377422

      HI Kymera,

      Please don’t give up On your feminine side if thats who you are and want to be.

      Times have changed some and maybe you just hadn’t refined your look enough I don’t know.

      I am sure that hurt a lot and its hard to recover from that but I have been out twice full dressed with my wig and my moderate make up ability of course a mask helps.LOL

      I had a wonderful and pleasant feminine day that I wouldn’t trade the world for.

      People were nice to me.

      So please don’t give up sweetie.

      Love Patty

       

    • #377451
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      My dressing in public began at 17 with wearing pantyhose with shorts. No one seemd to notice. I got bolder. I began wearing short girl’s shorts. That took some confidence building. Then I decided I needed better shoes. I had seen some platform wedges I fell in love with. I had to have them. I went to the store several times in my pantyhose and short shorts to buy them. The closer I got to the store the more my nerve waned. It took several attempts before I went inside. I was very nervous but I really wanted the shoes.

      I thought there was people looking, but they weren’t bothering me so I kept trying on and walking around in the shoes. After a couple of hours I bought 6 pairs, and wore one pair out of the store. What started out as scary became very exciting. I began going shopping dressed in my pantyhose, short shorts and wedges. It always started out as scary but always became fun and exciting. I enjoyed shopping for an buying pantyhose. I began trying on shoes. It was quite a thrill and rush.

      Then one day I was picking out some pantyhose. A girl told me I had nice legs and asked of the pantyhose I was buying was what I was wearing. I panicked. I put don the pantyhose, hurried out of the store, got in my car and drove home, all the while swearing I would never do that again. That was the first time, I knew for sure someone knew I was wearing pantyhose. After a few day and thinking about what happened, I went back to the same store and bought the pantyhose I left behind.

      During many shopping outings, occasionally I would get compliments on my legs or shoes. I got asked about my pantyhose. I was always very nervous at first but usually found the conversation to be fun.

      A year later I got my own place and began going fully femme. I bought all the wonderful girls clothes I had wanted so much fr so long. I began wearing them everyday at home. Then I got the urge and desire to go out it them. This was a whole new level of courage building. I stood outside on my stoop in the dark. If I heard a noise I hurried back in. This went on every evening for at least a couple of weeks. But I was standing outside longer. Then one evening I decided this was it. I grabbed my purse, shut the door and began walking to my car. I felt so wonderful. My heels clicking on the pavement, my hir gently blowing in the breeze, the air under my dress, my silky pantyhose gently caressing my legs as I walked. I was in heaven. Until I was shocked back to reality by nearly walking into a guy walking his dog. OMG, what was I thinking? I wanted to run. The car was close. I walked quick to the car. If I could only get in before he maybe recognized me. I hurried to the car. I opened the door and the interior lights came on, spotlighting my legs in my shiny pantyhose, stiletto heels and very short dress. I got in quick and shut the door. My heart was pounding. I was in a panic. I had to just sit several minutes before I could do anything.

      I had to decided if I should go back to the house or drive around a while. I decided to go for a drive. I started the car and drove past the dog walker, waving as I passed. I drove around a couple of hours and looked for places I might be able to get out safely where I could be seen but not touched. I was able to do that a few times. Then I drove home, got out of the car and walked back to the house. I wasn’t even concerned if someone saw me. in fact I was hoping they would.

      I’ve gone through several of these crazy panic and fear events. Those above are just a few and the most significant in phases of my dressing. I guess I kept dressing and going out because of desire and knowing once I completed my adventure, it always seemed to be very exciting and a thrill and rush I couldn’t get from anything else. I uess I found getting through the fear worth it for the feeling that often followed.

      Maybe at some point you might want to give it another try.

    • #377457
      JOJO
      Lady

      I remember the first time I went out en femme and how nervous I was. However, with each time I went out I gained more and more self confidence with my dressing. That was many years ago and my self confidence still builds today each time I go out.

      Personally for me I believe that self confidence is key and the more confidence you have the more you will want to go out.

    • #377537
      Robin Snow
      Duchess

      Well that was 20 years ago.  I would like to think the world has become more progressive and open minded.  If your are nervous about going out  in your area, go to a different town.  Better yet, once this Covid crisis is behind us, try taking a long weekend visiting places which are friendly to girls like us.  It will give you an opportunity to get out, be yourself, and build confidence.  Almost forgot, if you don’t feel comfortable being out fully dressed, you can always go out in hybrid mode.

      Good Luck,

      Robin

    • #378064
      Wendy Me
      Lady

      50 years ago buying female clothing was a challenge which I resorted to sneaking my sisters clothes, I finally said screw it, if I wanted it I would just buy it, only once did a checkout person raise a question why I was buying a bra. I replied it’s no concern to you just ring it up.

    • #378310

      Hi Kymera

      Going public is not necessarily for every cross dresser, and there are certainly people who don’t get it and feel a need to express their opinions.

      Well, cross dressing is a deep form of self expression… I say this a lot, but it’s so true, so everyone is welcome to their own opinions.

      However, I have never felt like saying out loud that I find someone’s choice of clothing disgusting – and I rather expect others to show me the same courtesy. I don’t think it’s unreasonable of me.

      Hence I generally find such comments unnecessary, so am well equipped to ignore them. They serve no purpose except to the poor unfortunate that emitted them.

      Go to the right places, and there is a lot of love for rainbow gendered people like us. I  mean, a lot.

      Shows like Drag Race have done so much for us, and, as long as you’re an ambassador for the craft, treat the insults with humour and show a positive attitude, you will be accepted by the majority.

      Attitudes have come a long way in many places – pick a good location, book a hotel, and enjoy some femme time, if that’s what you want to do.

      If it’s for you, you will feel it like nothing else. It’s like you finally arrived on the planet!

      If it doesn’t grab you, no great shakes – just have fun with it, and really, don’t worry about what others think – it’s their loss that they can’t put aside prejudice to make a new friend.

      Disapproving wives are much harder to tackle, but love yourself!

      Love Laura

       

    • #378322
      Anonymous

      Yes a lot has changed in 20 years in some areas. I love dressing as Carla and going out and what I see now is no one cares. What I have noticed is I’m usually dressed much better than other women out shopping. Yes a mask does help as I don’t have to put on as much makeup. I usually shop for groceries as Carla and do shop for women’s clothing dressed. I make any return dressed and talk with the clerks when returning things and my voice is not girly at all. When dressed in guy mode I feel invisible and boring to anyone I pass but when I slip on my skirt people smile and say hello lots of times when we pass. I don’t know if I could go back into the shadows again. Everyone walks their own path and takes their own time when making decisions to go out or not.

      Carla

    • #378531

      You may want to locate groups outside of where you live and travel your first time out. It’s hard to walk  out that door alone.

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