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Everyone needs to have friends to talk to and share your life experiences, that is particularly true for us. We need to know are friends are understand and not judgmental when we are talking to them. Do you have a friend (or friends) who are either a CD or a TG you can confide in and talk openly about what is on your mind?
I have some very close friends in the TS community that unfortunately live across the state or a couple of states away, but when we see each other it is as if hardly any time passed since the last time.
Locally, I have some TS friends as well, but nothing approaching the level of connection as some of the others.
I had one briefly, local, we met once then not immediately, but shortly after, she stopped returning my e-mails.
I have a TG ( MtF ) aquaintence that hopefully moves into a friendship , if not aquaintence is perfectly fine , Tiff
When I was much younger I had a best friend and a few acquaintances. I know you are right. We all need a friend, someone who you can share your fears and and concearns. CDH is a great starting place. We all have so much in common with our basic needs to be accepted as people who have fallen between the crack of female and male. Some of us just want to show our selves only at home or in a safe place. Some of us are brave enough to go out just for walks in day or night just briefly to breath the air and get to feel what it like be the a woman just out for a walk. We all need friends to join us in that walk. Luv Stephanie ❤️
MY WIFE SUPPORTS ME UP TO A POINT ,I REALLY WISH I HAD A GF TO TALK TO ,MY WIFE IS VERY BUTCH AND I AM THE PRETTY ONE ,IN A SMALL TOWN OF 10K IT GETS LONELY , NOT VERY MANY SISSYS AROUND MORE LIKE OLD REDNECK FARMERS WHO DONT WEAR HEALS OR HOSE YUK , CONSIDERING RELOCATING SOON ,A FRIEND WOULD BE NICE
My response is a real mixture, so lets segregate it as follows.
a/. In person CD friends. At least two, one of whom I met via this site not so long ago. We have regular coffees and a month or so back we went “public” for her first parkwalk/shopping trip.
Another lives on the other side of OZ in Perth, but we met at “Transformal” (aka Sparkles Keystone etc) up in Katoomba behind Sydney in 2017.
b/. A wonderful little (8 or 9) closed e.mail group with members mostly fromthe East and West sides of OZ, but with a couple of welcome “extras” from the UK and maybe one day the USA.
Some of (b) are in irregular phone contact as well.
So there you have “our little lot”..
Caty
Hi Caty I still find it facinating that I am in another hemoshere half way around the world and have similar very basic needs. The need just just to be recognized that we feel we are a woman and we like to be able to express that without ridicule. There are not many of us in the grand scheme of things. We should all keep close at the very least a monthly check in..Just to say hello I am still here . sounds like you are doing that and more All the best luv Stephanie
I have two female friends that I am able to ask advice of by Email r text. I send them pictures to make sure my outfit looks ok or to see how they like new outfit. One is my former neighbor who I love and the other is the Ulta Clinique Rep that used to give me make overs, but now lives in SC. I miss her so much
I don’t really have any friends but I am going to a TG/TV group that meets every other week and I call them somewhere between acquaintreses (sic) and friends. We talk about how we can look more feminine and sometimes some of them correct me in the way I walk and talk, and they are always calling me down for sitting with my legs spread.
Dear Friends,
I chose the “acquaintance” reply, because it more closely describes relationships that are quasi-friendships. Considering the intimate feelings we share on this site, we are confidants. Nonetheless, since few of us have actually met or spoken to one another, there is not the risk-vulnerabilty-accountability component of person to person friendship.
Several years ago, I picked up on some columns by Terri Ryan, a writer from Chicago. I’m sure many of you read her stuff. She’d had a troubled relationship with a crossdressing husband, but had channeled her experiences into a greater understanding of the CD phenomenon. Because I don’t do Facebook, I corresponded with her directly by email. I found it very comforting sharing completely with this women who seemed open and understanding. Since I once lived in Chicago, I gave some thought to actually suggesting we meet some time. I was sure I couldn’t pull off a true passing attempt, but I might try my “androgynous” presentation. I never actually tried, she went off to do other things, and we have not connected since.
The reason I mention Terri is because, for whatever reason, I found it more helpful to share my feelings with a woman. I could “talk” to her as I would my wife, but without worrying about judgment, fear, or insecurity. This is probably why I’m so gratified when a woman comments favorably on my choice of feminine outfits. Although I enjoy getting fully dressed, I guess I really want to be a man in women’s clothing. I’d love to look like an attractive woman and even pass, but down deep, I know I’m a man.
So what does that have to do with the friend question. I guess, when it comes to appearance, I’m looking for a woman’s validation. Maybe it’s a kind of lesbian thing, but maybe not? Women see each other differently than men!
FAM
I’ve been fortunate enough(having been a member here for four years now and watching the site membership increase from just over 100 when I joined to about 30,000 currently) to have met in person over two dozen members and spoken directly over phone and video with even more. So for those folks it is more than casual acquaintances for me. I have several very close friends here , several dozen strong acquaintance/friend level folks and hundreds of “work type” acquaintances that I see in chat or reply to this posts at least once a week. I think much of what you get out of the site is what you put into it. I share openly my feelings and thoughts as I continue my journey of exploring who I am in an attempt to both gain further insights into myself as well as share my own experiences with others in the hope that it might help them gain the confidence to live their dreams-whatever those may be. I certainly don’t have all the answers but I can tell you that I have seen both myself and others take large steps forward in accepting ourselves and being as authentic to ourselves as is possible given each persons individual situation. I will always cherish the people here who have welcomed me warmly and shared in the triumphs and struggles inherent in our efforts to live our lives as we see fit. Thanks to all of you for helping me like myself better than I have at any point in my life!
CynHi skip, I’m about a month into membership and my reply could make a good topic heading. Underneath my natural beauty (snigger) I am a man, most of the time I am on CDH I am dressed like a man, no one can see me……but, I think like a woman, I write using words that a woman would use, it’s almost like stepping into another world?
Is this normal, or do others think and act the same?
Whatever it is I like this other me……so why fight it?….Sally x
Sally,
Is this normal? I have no idea; but you have described just how I feel and write when I am on-site here…and it has spilled over onto my shopping trips (all kinds).
Bettylou
Like Allyson above, my wife is tolerant to a very small level. Our styles are very different anyway. I would love to have a GG friend and a couple of CD friends to talk to and help me out.
When I first met my wife she was entranced with me dressing, we got married and she got me a pretty white dress and underwear, pantyhose which she immediately cut the crotch out of and some beautiful 5″ white heels. She then dressed me up and then did my makeup then she dressed up in black the same as what I had and we drove over to Knoxville TN and checked into a Holiday Inn. We went to the restaurant and bar and proceeded to eat and then get very tipsy, back up to our room and fully dressed went to bed, she got up after the first time;It was great, but then a few years later she got religion and things went drastically bad, I had to throw out all of my clothes. Later on I would get a cache of clothes, she would find them and the hurricane would descend, this went on until she passed away in ’13.
Needless to say I’ve started again and have quite an extensive wardrobe to include leather, nylon & spandex, silk, etc. My biggest problem is that I have no friends or even acquaintances who I would feel safe telling what I do.
I can walk like a lady, I can look like a lady, but my voice….no chance. It would have been nice to have had a lady to do the talking for me. That would have made the world of difference…..Sally x
Same here Sally voice like Barry White. Oh well. x
I have tried to talk softly Donna but it just sounds like I’ve got a cold, there is probably a throat spray we don’t know about?
Helium?
Not singing ‘the bubble with me.’
The walrus of love singing Donald Duck style. x
Tight pants, bee gees style perhaps.
LOL; thanks, Carolyn, I needed that.
Donna,
Until I saw your post, and a few others here, I thought I was alone with the choice of a gravel voice or a squeek. My sympathies to all of you.
And my CD friends are few and online-only to date. Hoping to change this very soon.
Bettylou
Could I ask about your friends and mine who we have made on CDH?
How many is enough? How many of them do you message regularly? How many haven’t you contacted since you asked or accepted them? In other words, how do you cope when faced with a pageful of faces? Which one do you ask? Should you contact all of them at the same time or do you only contact the few that you really bond with? Remember the secrets we share or the advice we take and give each other are a precious commodity that we should look after,
Sally x
I have about 40 ladies which are on my friends list. However, I am only in. contact with some on a regular bases through private messages. If any of my other friends write I always reply to their notes. I do definitely have a few which I feel are real friends, it is so nice to share thoughts and experiences with them.
No close friends and only you girls on here to talk to about dressing stuff.
I was going to say nobody else knows but then remembered that this isn’t true as many of my neighbours also know but I couldn’t talk to them about anything as they are antagonistic due to my dressing but that’s their problem.
Would be nice to not feel so isolated though.
Take care girls.
Anne-Marie.
I had what I considered a good internet friendship until recently
I loved talking to her and I just wanted to be friends.
She was concerned with security and not revealing too much on the internet and rightly so.
I tried to take our friend ship beyond the internet and I have been blocked from talking to her.
I have never had a strictly internet friendship before and I find it more difficult.
I guess I was trying too hard to be friends.
I’m 54 years old and I feel like a fool.
I tell you girls I didn’t think losing a friend could hurt so much .
I guess the friendship meant more to me
Thank you girls for listening.
You all are so wonderful
Patty
I consider everyone that I’ve interacted with on this site and people in my local area that I’ve revealed about “Brittney” to be special friends. I know CDH member Lorie Peace from the CD/TG support group I attend. She helped me upload my profile photo. I’ve gone on two casual outings with another special friend from my support group. The first time, we met for lunch and she helped me shop for my first heeled shoes. The second time, we went for a quick bite to eat with two other group members after a group board meeting.
I appreciate being accepted by everyone on CDH. CDH has given me the opportunity to branch more than I ever have before.
Wow, Tiffany, I feel like we are on a parallel path. I also joined CDH in March and have enjoyed getting to know some CDs from my area in person for the first time in my life. Although we have not known each other long, I feel we have established a bond of sisterhood. The open and more emotional/heartfelt discussions I’ve had with my new CD sisters has also helped me do better emotionally connecting with my wife. CDH has played a big part in expanding my circle of friends in midlife.
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