- This topic has 25 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by
.
- Posts
Some girlfriends and I are having so much fun discussing this in a separate email thread, I thought I’d post the question here too.
What would your femme self wear in court during a trial if you were called to be an expert witness, and what would your (real life) expertise be? You can explain and educate a jury while being fabulously dressed. 😝
Im guessing there might be some fun answers that would appear … um … incongruent with your ultimately feminine attire! Lol
So … what would you wear and what would you testify about if called as an expert witness at trial?
God bless,
Steph
Hi Stephanie,
What a fun question. Some years ago at work I was involved in an investigation. The case never went to trial but I did have to sign an affidavit before a witness who was the lead engineer from our organization. But in court I think I’d wear my Black sparkly pant suit with black flats.
Alice
I think your testimony will be required this time, Alice! 😂
Stephanie.
I think the idea is to dazzle the jury, really throw them…
Long blonde hair, leopardprint blouse and matching mini skirt, black fishnet stockings with black stilettos….red lippy and nails xx
Being the C.S.I.’s resident chocolatier, I would convince the jury that this case was NOT suicide. You cannot force feed yourself so many kitkats that you would choke. The wafer, chocolate and peanut butter would definitely melt before you lost consciousness…I have tested this theory out on myself…it cannot be done.
it was MURDER…without a doubt!!!!!
I rest my case, grace ❤️
Everyone loves a chocolate expert — especially one so devastatingly dressed! Lol
I’ll be the judge of that…
Court making bad jokes again 😊
I have a nice selection of work skirts and jackets, blouses and court shoes which I bought when I was between jobs three years ago.
I didn’t attend any face to face interviews like that, but the enormous confidence it gave me in telephone interviews landed me some fat contracts and the job I’m still in.
So a black, tailored jacket and skirt – just above the knee – tan tights, shiny patents and a white blouse with a small ruffle down the front.
A thin gold chain with a small pendant jewel a serious looking diamond engagement ring and wedding band… pair of handcuffs on the belt loop – or is that too suggestive?
I’d make sure my wig had a decent perm – maybe a bit of a bee hive thing?
What would I be called as expert in?
I really don’t know. I’m a bit of a Jill of many trades – mistress of none.
Maybe the false advertising of vinyl records.
I can spot a first pressing fairly easily, and it disgusts me how many people sell later pressings (worth less than 10% of the advertised price) on Discogs or eBay to uninformed buyers, who then display their purchases proudly on vinyl forums.
Caveat emptor?
Off topic again – silence in court!
Awesome Laura!
Most of my daytime wear outfits are too informal for Court appearance; but I do have a pale blue twill dress, with matching suit coat, which would look nice. Top it off with pink pearl necklace/earring combo and white pumps.
As retired military, with time working Joint Task Force Bravo, and as a former Class 3 firearms dealer, I would testify on the distinctions between semi-auto and full-auto firearms, and the means of converting the former to the latter (complete with a video demonstration).Bettylou
VERY cool and very handy for federal prosecutions for illegal manufacture/possession of NFA weapons…hmmm… 😊
Well, if have to start by wearing my red hair (have to post a pic later this week) since juries are known to disbelieve platinum blonde “experts”… then ruin the effect with my favorite pink skirt suit (well above the knee!) Paired with a sheer black blouse over a strappy cami, thinly veiled by the jacket, with a solid makeup job including my longest false lashes and five alarm red Lippy.
I’m a nuclear engineer, so the testimony would be all about how Mr Burns is sacrificing safety at the plant for higher profits, and getting Smithers to try to cover it all up and blame Homer.
Bridgette
😂 😆 😝
Hi Stephanie
ln Britain you would have to careful you did not choose the same outfit as the judge who would also be wearing a wig and stockings.
Jennifer
I sometimes wonder if male judges ever crossdress under their robes….
I have two potential areas of expertise, one is vintage cars, and the other is old school photography, I did many things but finished up doing restorations of old colour and B&W photos, using digital techniques and traditional ones.
So I could testify about vintage of a particular photo or if has likely been altered, or whatever! Vintage cars, who knows what anyone would want me to say.
However I have had in mind an outfit I originally thought of a “School Marm” type. A grey pinstriped pencil skirt, about knee length, or an inch above, pantyhose of course. Then a matching jacket with a white blouse, silver wristwatch and bracelet, a simple black necklace, black heels. For hair, either my long sandy blonde tied back, or a shoulder length silver grey one.
I could answer, yes, indeed your Honour, I did indeed remove that woman’s husband from the photograph and substituted her new lover in his place, then recreated a vintage looking print on genuine B&W paper.
Amy
I have a nice navy skirt suit. A nice mock neck sleeveless ivory top, with a silver chunky necklace. Wolford nude hosiery, with matching navy pumps. Topped off with a dark brown/copper shoulder length wig.
Sherri,
And your area of expertise you would be called to testify about? 😊
Of course! LOL
My expertise is of course as a DJ. “Yes, the defendant did supply the proper music for a fun wedding reception and dance. The fact is the bride and groom are boring fuddy duddies.”
My professional attire would be a shear red blouse over a black shelf bra, a black faux leather mini skirt and black thigh high boots with 4″ heels. A dark blonde wig with highlights, decent day time makeup, long nails with glitter polish and lots of bling.
😨👢👗👅💋❤
Beth
After that, there would definitely be a verdict of “Guilty of fuddy duddyism!” Lol.
When starting this thread, I had this scene from My Cousin Vinny pop into my head. I bet a lot of girls here could also rock this scene the way Marissa Tomei did!
I have to testify in a civil mater in a few weeks, not as an expert witness, but about matters from 20 years ago. My usual courtroom attire in drab is suit and tie in darker colors. En femme it would likely be business pants, fashionable but subdued blose with a blazer, but could have sexy bra and matching panties too help me keep my cool. Hmm- underdessing in drab?
Hmmm… my area of expertise… IT! You are guilty of hacking and using inelegant code in doing so! Do you realise the penalty for using inelegant code? A life sentence of using Facebook and Twitter for the rest of your natural/unnatural life!
For this trial I shall be dressed in… shorts and teeshirt! Converse sneakers optional but will weigh sharply in expert testimony… of course, DD cup obligatory and pixie haircut… maybe that will sway the jury… they may think I’m a lesbian coder!
Guilty! Mark Zuckerberg is expecting you in hell (Facebook)
Pernicious Polly Hah!👺🤡💩👻👹💀
- The forum ‘General Chat “Life as it Goes On”’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments