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Gender Euphoria.
I couldn’t wait to share this newfound designation with a friend who is the parent of a trans man who is 16 years old. When I did, my friend said he was surprised because he had just heard that word used by his son. His son had decided on a new name for his masculine identity, and, with some anxiety and trepidation, decided to share this new name with his theater group. They responded with complete acceptance and encouragement. My friend asked his son how that felt. His son said, “Euphoric!”
Gender Euphoria.
We share many stories of this phenomenon, but we don’t label it as such.
We are quick to point to the examples of gender dysphoria in our lives; the feelings of being trapped, of faking being a masculine male, and the shame that accompanies our true expression. We remember the moments of embarrassment when someone discovers us dressed, especially in our youth. We carry the transphobia that we witness around us and pull it into ourselves, triggering the shame of misguided judgments.
We also share the experiences when we first, second, a hundredth time dress in clothes that make us feel like a million dollars. We share the euphoria of being a girl for a few moments, a day, a week. We experience euphoria in being correctly gendered and acknowledged for our intention to be a woman.
I just learned of this phrase, and I’m going to cling to it with abandon every chance I get; gender euphoria. It feels like a challenge now to count these moments of euphoria and stack them up against those moments of dysphoria. As I keep score, I see the bar chart growing uneven, as the euphoria moments grow faster and with bigger leaps and strides than the dysphoria moments. Part of that is merely being aware of the value and preciousness of the experiences of gender euphoria. And as that awareness grows, I find more moments and ways that I can discover gender euphoria.
When looking at the big picture, how is your bar chart looking?
In the past euphoria was fleeting for me.I learned how to turn hours into days and days into weeks. I see no reason why i cannot feel that way every day . It just takes a little work and a different way of looking into the mirror. She/he is there. If you do not see what you are looking for then change some any thing. It could be something as simple as a piece of clothing. We all deserve that wonderful feeling all the time. luv Stephanie
Lorie,
Great thoughts and understanding. I saw a post on the Internet this week: a picture of Albert Einstein saying, “How can a transgender person be happy with who they are when they were not happy with who they were?”.
I think you captured the essence of gender euphoria! I think that who they were is who they are. I think all of us ladies celebrate our gender euphoria in different ways but our gender euphoria should be celebrated. As I embrace my femininity more each day I am reminded of the 60+ years of wondering if who I was is who I am. I think so. Gender euphoria!
Thank you, Lorie
Great commentary, Lorie. My wife’s illness has had me spend my days and many nights at her hospital bedside, and though I don’t feel that I’m a girl trapped in a guy’s body, the feeling I get when I return home and switch from a sweatshirt and jeans into a top, skirt and ballet flats is most definitely euphoric. I’ve been searching for the right word to describe this feeling the past two days, and “euphoria” is spot-on
Hugs,
BettylouGreat post Lorie , That phrase , ” OF FAKING BEING A MASCULINE MALE hits very close to home for me ,I feel I have lived a lie all my life now that I look back. , Wish I knew then what I know now !
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