• This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by Anonymous.
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    • #630808

      Any of you ever had an experience where you did something “masculine” while en femme? How did other people react?

      I’m thinking of a time I was walking down a hallway at work, and there was an older gentleman in front of me going much slower because of age and weight. I walked around him at about the time we came up to the door at the end of the hallway. I held the door for him, as I would have as a man for an older person who seemed impaired by something. I was wearing a mask so I’m sure he had no idea I was a cross dresser. I was also in a favorite outfit that really helps me pass. He seemed very uncomfortable that a tall, professional woman was holding a door for him. He said, “ohh, uh, thanks” and seemed to feel he had failed in some way. I felt kind of bad to make him uncomfortable. Though I’m sure any explanation would have made the whole thing even more awkward!

      It was something I have never experienced and gave me another glimpse into the differences between men and women’s lives. Anyone had something similar?

    • #631045
      Angela Booth
      Hostess

      Did you read too much into the situation? It is courtesy and respect for any one to hold the door, especially for the elderly. It is neither masculine nor a feminine trait – just something that a lot won’t do and he was probably taken aback that someone actually held the door for him – especially a nice professional lady.

      • #631235

        That’s a good thought. I think sometimes when I’m dressed I am certainly hyper aware of things, so it’s quite possible I over thought it. He looked visibly uncomfortable to me, but I’m not stellar at interpreting emotions.

    • #631060

      I’ve never experienced (or noticed) anything gender related in regards to door holding. I hold the door open for everybody if they’re within seconds of reaching the door themselves, whether I’m in girl mode or boy mode the experience and reactions are always the same. However, I have noticed while en femme the number of people (men and women) hold the door open for me more often than when I’m in boy mode. In girl mode specifically, related to men holding the door open, THAT is quite noticeable in frequency. I find men sitting there holding the door open for me when I’m not even remotely close the door yet… they just sit there holding it open until I walk through.

    • #631063

      Since my realisation that I am transgender, many many things I took for granted are now glaringly obvious differences that have dictated that women are somehow ‘less’ than men.
      Societal, religious, cultural stereotyping  which has throughout history determined that women take a subservient role.

      I have just taken up salsa dancing (in my male attire)  and, something I always took for granted but am now questioning whether it is another small thing which makes the man dominant and the woman subservient, THE MAN LEADS AND THE WOMAN FOLLOWS.
      When I go out dressed, especially at night why do I feel more vulnerable around groups of men than if I was my male self. Historically taught subservience and vulnerability?
      Fortunately, in most developed countries anyway, things are gradually reaching equality. Sure most woman are glad to be led in the dance, it’s just one of those rules that helps make the dance easier. Maybe someday it will just be ‘who wants to lead tonight!’ At the moment I’d rather be led than lead as I’m still pretty hopeless! Think it would confuse the hell out of the group though if I turned up in a dress saying ‘I want to be the girl tonight!’

      Sorry getting a bit deep!

      B x

      • #631250

        Have enjoyed ballroom dancing in the past as well and now I just want to be led.  My dream is to have a partner to do the tango with while in stilettos and a high slit dress that shows of my hose and garter.

        • #631299
          Anonymous

          Deb, you are fantastic.

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