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So I went for a walk around my home town today and for the first time I noticed that I was getting some unwanted attention from men. Not the sort of attention where they might have sussed me but the sort of attention where I felt very vulnerable. I’m not sure what there is you can do about this pther than show confidence and get safe quickly but yeah, I didn’t like it and it made me a little more conscious of the fact that I probably appear more vulnerable when en femme. I mean I’m hardly some beastime of a person regardless.
Just thought I’d share
Charlotte xxx
Hi Charlotte,
I’m 61, I am rarely in full femme and there are still those misguided romantic who think that anyone in feminine clothing is thrilled to get that kind of reaction from males who obviously don’t have a mirror.
Even for me, a person trained in unarmed combat, I find it very threatening. GGs, you need to know that there are people who understand your fears and share some of your concerns. My advice is to speak to your local law enforcement, especially female officers, about precautions to take and places to be extra wary.
Think safe, stay safe
Sian x
Hi I have two body guards when I go out. Their name is Smith & Wesson. If that is not your choice then check out Tactical flashlights. On the light end they have high points on them. There meant to be planted on the front of someone’s head. Wont kill them but gives them cuts and the blood runs into the eyes so they can’t see, plus it hurts like all hell. Check out this one, Olight Warrior X rechargeable tactical led flashlight – CREE XHP35 .It fits in your hand and is legal to carry. The light has a bright strobe to confuse and temporary blind the attacker. They are small fit in you hand or purse. Its better then mace. There are many like that. If you go to Battery Junction their web site has a lot of flashlights you can choose from. Today there is a need to protect yourself.
When I first went out fully dressed in my shiny pantyhose, stilettos, short dress, nice firm breasts and pretty hair, I drew lots of looks and attention. I was nervous, scared and excited as I had always dreamed and fantasized of doing this.
I went to several parties and was always thrilled and flattered with all the attention and compliments I got. I was totally loving being sexy Patty and getting bolder and going out more and more, until one day I was aggressively followed and called to. I was trying to ignore this guy and get to my car. When I did, he ran to his car and followed me. Everywhere I went he was in pursuit. I tried to lose him but stay in places that were lit and had a lot of traffic. I did not want to stop on dark, no traffic roads. I even ran stop signs and went through red lights when he was getting out of his car. I was hoping he would get out, I would take off and lose him. Didn’t happen. Finally I made my way to the police precinct. I pulled in and parked. That’s when he drove off.
He knew my car and the license plate. I was worried for some time I would encounter him again and it would not be pleasant for one or both of us. I was going to make my stand at the police precinct and deal with him there. Fortunately I didn’t have to and never saw him again.
It also made me realize girls have to deal with this often. For some who may wonder why girls don;t always dress all pretty, fem and sexy and enjoy the attention, accolades and compliments they would constantly receive, this may be one of the reasons they dress down to blend in.
That’s really scary Patty. I think I would freak out if that happened to me.
I thought this idiot is not going to leave me alone. Why was he pursuing me so aggressively? Did he see a woman he wanted to get with? Or was he a hater and see me as a guy pretending to be something else? What were his intentions?
I figured after a while he would get tired of following me around and just go his own way. That didn’t seem to be happening. I thought at some point I was going to have to take a stand and deal with him or find out what he wanted. I thought a public and well lit place would be a good location, a police precinct even better.
When I pulled in and parked, ready for our meetup, he continued driving and drove off. I still had concerns about him having a description of my car and license plate. I wondered for a while if we would encounter each other again. It also occured to me that many girls could deal with this often. I could surely understand why one of the reasons many dress down and blend in is because they want to go about their business and not be cat called, remarked at, pursued and followed around.
A few years back, I owned a mid-thigh jumper that came with a complimentary long sleeve top. I loved it and wore it often with a pair of two inch heels. One Saturday morning, I decided to got out to breakfast at Shari’s.
I parked and as I was approaching the door, three men came from the other direction. Not wanting to come actually face to face, I slowed my approach so that they would get there first. The last guy looked my direction and stopped holding the door for me. As I walked by, he focused his attention on my legs. A compliment for sure, but a little creepy, as I knew what the look in his eyes was all about; after all I’ve been on the other side of the look.
Another time, several years… OK a couple of decades later, I was grocery shopping. I had just unloaded my shopping cart onto the belt at the cashier, when three elderly gentlemen walked buy. The stopped for a moment and exchanged some words between them that I could hear. Then one of the came over and started a conversation. He noticed that I had three containers of ice cream and commented that I didn’t have any chocolate. I turned one of them around to show him it was chocolate moose tracks. and turned back around. He then commented on how much I was buying. I turned back, holding up my left hand to display my wedding ring, I told him there were three of us living at home right then. He got the hint that I was married and smile, nodded and went on his way. It’s the first and only time that I’ve had a man actually try to start a relationship with me.
Dear Charlotte,
As a GG, I’ve be cat called and leered at, etc, many times in my life, specially when I was younger and dare I say, skinnier. It’s no fun, and can be quite scary. I have learned any girl or women always need to be aware of her surroundings, to walk with her head forward, stride with confidence, show no fear and try to appear as if you know that they are there but your aren’t paying attention to them and don’t care. It won’t always protect you, but keeps most at bay.
It’s disgusting that as a 13 year old, walking home from a friends how, having men twice or more your own age, trying to pick you up and as if you need a ride. And many other situations like that or worse. What is wrong with people that they feel it’s right for them to behave in this manner? Add in the fact that you are a CD or TG woman, I can’t imagine the things that might be said or done to you. I feel your pain, sorry that’s happened to you. Hopefully, nothing worse will ever find you.
Not to mention how mean other girls or women can be to each other too. That’s a whole other topic.
-Gwenn
Hi Charlotte, I hope your nerves gave settled , I don’t go out fully en femme so I’ve fortunately not experienced that & what others have written here .
I do however openly wear casual women’s clothing / athletic wear , as well as jewellery painted nails in public , I’m aware of staring & parents pulling children away ( their discretion failed 😜) , my wife can be worried for me & I do try to be aware of my surroundings . As we get older we get that sixth sense in many moments , I guess our crossdressing would be included in these moments.
Stay beautiful & above all safe 🌹🌹 Tiff
This comes under the “be careful what you wish for” heading. Welcome to their world. I’ve had only one incident from a male ‘person’ like that who actually pursed me into the back of a “La Vie en Rose”. His response to my loudly voiced admonition “I don’t do that” was…yum…”I’m not looking to pet your kitty girliie”. (Not his actual words).
The welcome rarity of this incident is due to the fact that I don’t ever go anywhere GG’s don’t go. Femme smarts will save you. I plan and plan some more to make sure I am in safe, female safe public places..
Hi all,
As a GG I have had a lifetime’s conditioning regarding how not to invite undue attention not just while out and about but in company too. I live in a free country and I have the right to dress how I like and go where I like when I like – but – I have the good sense to waive some of those rights in order to keep the creeps at bay. I dress with (I hope) elegance and modesty. I don’t frequent dives. I don’t go out alone after dark. Just common sense really. It’s all about being careful.
Men can be predatory creatures and they’ll leer at you if they are feeling that way out. That’s life. But they can also be perfectly kindly gentlemen too and show you flatteringly ‘feelgood’ attention in a non-threatening way.
Stay safe – in more ways than one….
Emms x
The wisest of wise words – thank you! x
I noted in another thread that I have been leered at – on several occasions.
It’s amazing really, given I’m 6’4″, and more in heels – you would think men would instantly figure it out and move on.
I’ve never really been the leering type – I gawp a little, when I see a particularly beautiful outfit on a woman who wears it well, but I try hard to be discreet and not be noticed.
So it came as a bit of a surprise, the first time I was openly leered at – I’m not sure if the guy knew that I could see him reflected in the shop windows, but he was just standing in the middle of the street, watching me walk away – I admit that my jeans were paint on tight, but that’s the look I was going for, and it really made me feel strongly feminine and confident.
By the same token, I didn’t feel worried about the leering, because I felt strong, kind of passive aggressive – like my strong feminity was a defence against this male weakness.
The reflection helped – if he had tried anything, I would have seen him undetected, and the boots I was wearing had sturdy heels!
Love Laura
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Thank you, Emms, this is great advice.
I must admit that I am happy to go out alone, but also, I hope, sensibly wary.
After all, height can be a deterrent, and I am fairly obviously a CD, not a GG!
Nevertheless, I agree about looking as elegant as possible – that is always something I strive for – and have had many GGs tell me how beautiful I look en femme, despite what the mirror tells me!
Love Laura
Good on you, Laura!
Going back to the safety issue, it is a woman’s dilemma…….we want to be noticed by men but we don’t want to be hassled. We do and yet we don’t, if you see what I mean. They are building a house next door on what used to be half of my garden and there are a small team of 4 builders there. They knock on my door asking for tea and biscuits halfway through the morning and so I take 4 mugs of outrageously strong ‘builder’s tea’ and a pile of hobnobs over on a tray twice a day. If the weather’s nice they strip to the waist which proves a distraction for me, I can tell you. I find myself dressing mildly provocatively to take the teas over to them – almost subconsciously, but I know I do it. When I’m there I turn up the ‘girlie-ometer’ to max too, shamelessly. All harmless stuff, but the point I am making is that I’d hate it if they ignored me but if they paid me the wrong kind of attention back then I’d hate it even more. The easiest thing to do is not to go there and let them get their own bloody tea, that way I am not putting myself up for a leering session, or worse. That’s the dilemma I’m afraid girls, and it’s a fine balancing act 🙂
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