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I have been wanting to get the courage to be the feminine me and I am tired of hiding from what I might have to give up because I wear pretty clothes.. I want to open the door and go out and be me. I wish I didn’t have to go alone.
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Honey, I f you want to go out, pick a time and place…and go!
I waited for far too long to do just that. Your fears are for the most part only shadows. Please read my article, ” Genivieve’s first Girls Night Out” I waited years to do something I desperately wanted to do. You can’t get that time back, so go for it girl! 😉1 user thanked author for this post.
Registered On: February 18, 2021Topics: 15Replies: 620Has thanked: 1532 timesBeen thanked: 2736 timesA big warm welcome to CDH Amy and I know exactly what you mean, I’m also closeted and I would love to be out myself except for the fact that 99% of my wardrobe is lingerie and can’t really wear that in public lol! But I can definitely relate to your situation.
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- Registered On: February 7, 2018Topics: 34Replies: 1582Has thanked: 2218 timesBeen thanked: 3214 times
Hello Amy,
Welcome to our amazing CrossDresserHeaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.
The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrosDresser Heaven.
At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages. You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.
Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.
Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.
Regards,
Terri Anne, Ambassador
=========== Link to our public Chat room ==============
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/chat/
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I’m just a beginner but would love to look good enough to go in public.
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- Registered On: June 29, 2021Topics: 39Replies: 282Has thanked: 1511 timesBeen thanked: 1421 times
Hi Susan,
Welcome to the group. I don’t think that I pass all that well myself, it is just a matter of taking one small step at a time and building up confidence. I have only ever received compliments, congratulations or no comments at all. No-one takes all that much notice and from making observations it seems that they are not studiously avoiding eye contact either. For myself, I just felt driven to go out and about and feel a lot less stressed for it.
Aurora Eden
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- Registered On: November 18, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 462Has thanked: 543 timesBeen thanked: 1829 times
It is normal be afraid of stepping out that door by yourself. I know that feeling first hand. But you know what? You won’t be struck by lightning and no mob will appear outside with torches and pitchforks. What will happen is that quite possibly the first person you encounter will smile broadly and probably say “Good for you!” That was literally my first experience and it was repeated so many times.
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Well I have been in panic mode for a few days and I have calmed down a bit. I am going to my best to make friends with you guys and… People who are similar in this way. Instead of putting on my panties and dress and walking up to the same damn people who just sat next to me yesterday and I was wearing boy clothes… This way they don’t go into skock and I don’t have to explain something that I don’t know how to make them understand. If I can spend time and ease my way to the grocery store and so on…. soon it will be like no big deal.
Thanks to so many people who are part of this really great website for us all I was able to put that together.
Thank you so much all of ladies that reached out and said Hey it’s not really a big deal.
I will keep up with my page and everyone can see it all unfold and it will be more like an adventure than an escape.
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- Registered On: June 29, 2021Topics: 39Replies: 282Has thanked: 1511 timesBeen thanked: 1421 times
Hi Amy,
Welcome to the group. You will find lots of support and understanding from all the girls on here. I first went out in public properly just over a year ago and, in my experience, once you step out in public then your anxiety dissipates. It gets easier each time you go out and the more you do, the more you want to do.
Good luck on your first outing. Just relax and be confident.
Aurora Eden
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- Registered On: September 16, 2019Topics: 101Replies: 6307Has thanked: 8104 timesBeen thanked: 16650 times
Hi Amy,
Welcome to CDH.
Alice
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Oh thank you so much 💗
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- Registered On: November 1, 2021Topics: 40Replies: 815Has thanked: 16951 timesBeen thanked: 4905 times
Hi Amy, It seems like I have been dressing as a girl forever! My first outings fully dressed as a girl were to Halloween parties, where nobody recognized me and thought I was a real girl. That gave me the confidence I needed to continue going out in public and I’ve never stopped.
I always knew I was different and felt that I was supposed to be a girl, so dressing as such was just natural to me.
Eventually we all get the urge to head out and let the world know we are there. As the Nike slogan says, “Just Do It!” Get out there, enjoy yourself and don’t worry about what anyone might think or say, just be you, the pretty version of you!Hugs,
Lauren M
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Yeah I keep getting ready and thinking about how much I want to do it and give up boy clothes forever and I get almost to the point where I am two steps from the door and the whole thing starts to scare the hell out of me and I think I am more worried about how I am going to make all of the changes in my life to stay in feminine mode.. I don’t want to have to go back to wearing boy clothes again and I don’t know how to juggle the people who are going to act like I have done something bad because I have been in their life for ever and I lied to them this whole time about who I really am… I’m just about to close my eyes and just go out and act like nothing is different… Which is how I think it should be
Thank you
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- Registered On: June 29, 2021Topics: 39Replies: 282Has thanked: 1511 timesBeen thanked: 1421 times
One step at a time is the way to do it, Amy. Try not to think of all the steps in one go. Maybe plan a short journey, even if it is only to the gas station and back.
Just my thoughts anyway.
Aurora
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- Registered On: November 1, 2021Topics: 40Replies: 815Has thanked: 16951 timesBeen thanked: 4905 times
Hi again Amy, I should let you know that I am officially and legally a transgender woman, I “came out” and transitioned six month ago. I now live and work as a woman so going out in public dressed as a woman is just the normal thing to do, I don’t own any male clothing at all. I was definitely a little nervous the first few weeks but now it’s normal routine. I will also say to you and all the girls reading this, that I’ve gone from low maintenance person to a very high maintenance one. I used to be able to pull a pair of jeans on with a t-shirt, slip on a pair of sneakers and run out the door. Not any more, panties, bra, pantyhose, dress or skirt and top, total hair removal, nails, eyebrows, shoes, jewelry, hairdo, makeup, etc. It takes me can hour to get ready for work every day.
Hugs Amy, lots of hugs,
Lauren M
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- Registered On: November 17, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 781Has thanked: 3648 timesBeen thanked: 3077 times
Hi Amy, and welcome! I am happy to hear you are getting ready to venture out. I think you will find that being ‘out-and-about’ is not as frightening as it seemed. I know I had great trepidation about going out in public. I was pleasantly surprised, that even on my first outing, nobody even noticed or if they did they didn’t seem to care. I have discovered the secret is to try to ‘blend in’. By that I mean not overdoing the makeup, wearing appropriate clothes, and most importantly learning to walk and have the mannerisms of a woman. In fact, in my opinion, its our posture and the way we carry ourselves that can give us away much more than our looks. I have also discovered the best places to hang out are shopping malls, coffee shops (or if I am particularly daring) wine bars. And I agree, having someone to share these adventures with is wonderful. There is nothing more fun than to have a ‘girls day out’! I look forward to hearing how things go as you journey out into the world. Hugs Paulette
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Thank you so much.. I have been saying that I will do this for a while
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Amy,
I really understand your apprehension. It took me over 20+ years to just step out of my “room” after having a very bad experience with a couple of drunken idiots when I was out in public my very first time. I took a drive fully dressed and when I returned to the hotel, I decided there was no need to change or cover up my clothing and started to walk from the car in my skirt, tights and heels. On my way into the hotel, I was “noticed” by a couple drunken idiots where they started to yell they were going to rip my head off. I got back into the hotel OK but it shook me to the bone. Recently, I was on a trip and got up the nerve to come out from behind the door and took a couple of “strolls” around the hotel and sat a couple of minutes in the lobby. Boy was it an experience… one that I am happy I took the chance and will never forget the feeling of completeness of “me.” I was so happy I took that small step that when I got back to my room, I began to shed tears of happiness. The positive experience far outweighs my bad experience of 20 years ago and has allowed me to gain the additional confidence to further expand my desires to push the public display of “me.” The only thing I am always concerned about is going out in a safe environment. I wish I had others to accompany me since my wife and friends will not but I do know that safety must be a priority.
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Thank you….
I want to make this change be my every day life.. It will effect my entire life… I’m trying to figure out how to make it all come together and everytime I started to go out the door I freeze and think about the whole thing and how I’m going to go through with the change of things like friends that don’t have any idea or job related stuff… It’s not just about the walking out for a stroll… I just don’t know why It should matter what kind of clothing a person wears and how we are judging people…
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- Registered On: April 15, 2022Topics: 1Replies: 172Has thanked: 1538 timesBeen thanked: 585 times
Amy, in response to your statement that you don’t know why it should matter what clothes a person wears, the simply answer is that it should not.
Unfortunately not everyone in this world agrees, but I believe it is improving. The other day I went to the grocery store with my wife. She wanted something at the deli so I stood there and waited to get the order. Another man was standing in line wearing a skirt. I went through McDonald’s drive through and the young man helping me had his nails done.
The culture is changing, albeit slowly. I have hope for the future. Until then, I am amazed at the support from our CDH community and thank them so much for their support.
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- Registered On: June 26, 2017Topics: 35Replies: 6986Has thanked: 16416 timesBeen thanked: 15053 times
Amy It’s amazing to find out there are many of us out there. I found this more prevalent when discovering this site. Even for my short time in this and very much closest to the world. My wife, my adoring wife who’s the only one who knows allows me to dress when I want and soon after I with my confidence in hand I did the big jump and ventured out. I made my first encounter in this exciting world and when you too feel the moment to I’m know it will be one of the most terrifying times that will come but a exhilarating moment and one you’ll never forget. To face those anxieties will certainly be helped by the many here who have experienced these challenges and have overcome their fears and now enjoy sharing their experiences.
It’s amazing how ones journey will be when help is there to which i am so appreciated to have and I hope you see this site as the hope you are looking for to venture into your paths through this wonderful world. And to go out with others like yourself and have a girls night would be fabulous. Very happy to welcome you to our family.
Stephanie 🌹
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Thank you so much. I have been saying that I will do this for a while and I keep backing out. I wish I had someone to go with me somewhere and get me started
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I understand the fear and need to go out dressed. The first time I went out in public was quick and short and I was so nervous my knees were shaking so much I’m surprised my panties didn’t fall to my ankles. My deciding factor was sitting in my car wanting to take that step then realizing I had as much right as anyone, so I opened the door got out and it was liberating.
It led to going out more and more, shopping, grocery stores, movie theaters, driving long distances and other places like the Renaissance Festival. So Amy put on that bra, slip on your panties, put on your skirt, blouse and pumps and go enjoy your life!
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- Registered On: December 31, 2021Topics: 0Replies: 129Has thanked: 209 timesBeen thanked: 447 times
Amy
You do it I did it 10 years ago and I love it the hardest part was COVID when I could not go to the club and see my sisters I wish you good luck stay safe let me know how it go’s 💋
peace and love
jennfer
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Oh thank you so much ❤️. I have been saying that I am going to do it for a while now but I don’t know how much longer I can put on boy clothes and I am ready to become more feminine.
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Amy, the urge to say f it and go out. The first time I went out dressed, that’s exactly how and why. I went to a bar in Center City. I went alone.
Sometimes I still get shy and decide not to go out. That’s ok.
Only once has my SO gone out with me. I wish lived closer I would join you in a flash.
You got this girl. The world needs to see more beauty.Xoxo
❤️💋 Jocelyn8 users thanked author for this post.
Thank you so much…
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- Registered On: April 15, 2022Topics: 1Replies: 172Has thanked: 1538 timesBeen thanked: 585 times
Amy, I know exactly how you feel. I had no one to go with me either. I decided to go to a mall in a feminine blouse, padded bra, and pants while on a business trip. I don’t have a real feminine figure or looks, but I was amazed how few people even seemed to notice. I walked all over the mall and drove around the area. It was quite an uplifting experience for me. Please pick somewhere safe, take a deep breath and enjoy life!
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Thank you 💘… I don’t know if I can take another second of wearing boy clothes again but I have said this before and I keep getting scared…
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Hi Amy,
Getting to the point of going out as Amy is an exciting time. May you find the means of fulfilling your desire soon. Maybe I can help a bit by talking about my first few experiences.
I didn’t know what I was doing but I started to play with makeup when I was around 12 years old. This early experimentation ended with me dressing up fully with female under garments, dress, shoes, wig and makeup. Everything belong to my mother and this was when I was in 8th grade. I was not really there yet and thus I did not do any again for years.
I met a woman with whom I fell in love. But it was not me too to be. To make a long story short she left me after we were engaged. I was now around 29 years old. All of the sudden I was back. I started experimenting with makeup again and started buying clothing and other items. I would go through several purges. But during this time I found a professional dominatrix and started to see her on a regular basis. I had my very first outing with her. She completed the transformation and took me out to a place that was safe.Over the years I have found other places and ladies to perform the transformation and to take me out. It is a wonderful way to make that first outings. There is someone who can make you look your best. Then they can accompany you out to a safe place where you can relax and enjoy being out as you.
It is quite easy to find people on the web who can help make the first time out a special memory.
Kisses
Diana
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Thank you so much… I have said this before and I keep getting scared
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- Registered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 37Replies: 375Has thanked: 559 timesBeen thanked: 2350 times
I was out the other day and hopped in my car to get the AC running and thinking about where I was going to go next. Anyways, this white car pulled up across the way and at first I thought nothing of it. Well, the person inside was looking around the parking lot (like they were up to no good), then opened the door and a leg wearing heels touched down on the pavement for a sec, and then quickly went in and closed the door again.
For some reason, I just sat there observing. It seemed familiar to me. Anyhow, a few more times, same thing happened. Then about the 6th time… there were two feet. Then back in, looking around.
After about 30 minutes of this (yeah, I stayed there watching)… she opened the car door, looked around the parking lot to see if anyone was watching, and very quickly stood up, using the door as a “shield” of sorts. A few times of that, and she got out of the car, closed the door, and leaned up against the car until she saw another car entering the parking lot and she quickly got back in her car.
Honestly, I was watching, with a smile on my face, the familiarity of my own feelings, rooting her on each time. When she got out fully and closed the door behind her that last time, even briefly… I was saying to myself… “there ya go girl. I’m so proud of you”.
I left after that.
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Oh my goodness… A lot of people on here have said a lot of encouraging things to me…. But I have to tell you that you just made me cry.. thank you so much… I have said that I was going to do this a few times and I always get scared… I wish I had someone to go with me
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If I lived closer we could go out together. I’m sure you’ll find someone nearby, but for now, welcome to CDH!
Hugs and Kisses,
Fredrika JonesThank you
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I was in a similar situation once, Amy. I wanted to go out en femme, but was scared to do it. I had friends who were willing to go out with me, but we just couldn’t find a day and time that worked for us. Finally, I got over my fear and went out. I went shopping for clothes and shoes. It turned out to be a wonderful experience. After some initial nervousness, my confidence grew. I did my best to act like any other woman on a shopping trip. A salesgirl complimented me on my appearance and I was on top of the world.
Maybe you can find a friend to go out with you here at CDH. Whether you do or not, you’ll know when you’re ready to go out. When you are, remember to relax and have fun. You’ll be fine.
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I have never been in public as myself and I am getting tired of wearing boy clothes and waiting to be alone to wear something that makes me feel more feminine and I just want to go full feminine and never look back
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- Registered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 1415Has thanked: 32391 timesBeen thanked: 5276 times
Hi Amy,
Welcome to this wonderful community of supportive sisters!
I hope you have a great experience when you go out!
💕Lara
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Thank you so much. I have been CD behind close doors for years and the only other people who have really seen that are the men that I spent that time with. So I don’t have any one to go with
I wish I had at least one CD friend who I could relate to and maybe go somewhere with at first. I have been saying that I was going to do this for a long time and I haven’t yet. I really don’t want to ever put on boy clothes again and I just would keep becoming more feminine… I can’t begin to discribe how frustrated I am at this point
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- Registered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 1415Has thanked: 32391 timesBeen thanked: 5276 times
Amy,
You should try to see if find a group in your area that you can join. There are some listed here on CDH. If that doesn’t work out, you can probably find someone willing to meet. You can meet in drab at first, in a nice safe public place.
Good luck I hope you get to enjoy a nice girls day out!💕Lara
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You should look for a CD friendly club/bar in your area and go for it Amy.
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