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  • #362084
    patty williams
    Registered On: January 19, 2019
    Topics: 62
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    So Girls this Morning I was shopping in drab mode at Wally World for a top I just had to have.

    Trying as much as possible not to draw unwanted attention to a guy shopping in the women’s department.

    I had bought the top in navy blue in an XL for my shoulders but all they had in the cute bright red I now wanted was a xxl.

    So I was holding a XL in a different color up to the red one in XXl  to see if it might fit OK.

    As I was holding it up a nearby worker starts talking to me.

    She is I would say of middle eastern descent and speaks broken English.

    she is trying to tell me something and my Hillbilly mind just can’t understand her.

    Finally she takes the tag on one of the tops I am holding and scans it to show me the price.

    She was being very nice and I smiled and thanked her, the whole time just wanting to melt into the floor.LOL

    However in the end the lady was just being helpful and didn’t think a thing about me shopping in the womens dept,it was more of an issue for me than her.



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  • Author
    • #374994
      Registered On: May 21, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 124
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      I know how you must have felt, asking why isn’t the ground opening up right now?

      But you survived…another victory. Congratulations. We should be more confident.

      I purchased two pairs of nylons in Selfridges sale last year, in drab and slightly nervous but was delighted when the assistant at the till enquired “Did you find everything you needed madam”

      She was on automatic pilot but it made my day.


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    • #374932
      Tabitha Tee
      Registered On: July 30, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 250
      Has thanked: 1022 times
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      I used to be more nervous, but now I just tell myself “Relax,  you’re Tabitha. This is for you.”

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #374656
      Stevie Steiner
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 542
      Has thanked: 2355 times
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      There was a time when I was sooo nervous browsing the ladies section in stores, sweating and worried.  One day I realized these strangers don’t really care about me.  It helps that a value village I shop at has a couple of CD/TG employees.  A couple of weeks back I had picked up a couple of skirts and at the cash, one commented on how lovely one of them looked.  After a awkward moment, I looked up and said ” I saw it and just had to have it “.  Their comment?

      ” it should look great on you “.

      One simple sentence meant so much!  Now a days I dont hesitate to stroll down the women’s section in a store.  In case of an unpleasant experience I just come home, come here on site, and fill myself with warm feelings from my friends who know me.  Inner strength through numbers. 🙂


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    • #374653
      patty williams
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 62
      Replies: 1130
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      Thanks Bobbi you and the girls are so right as I am finding out.

      So far I have not had a single bad moment being out in drab mode or feminine mode shopping.

      And as Bobbi said when that negative event does happen it won’t matter because I have ll you wonderful caring ladies in my corner.



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    • #374641
      Jaya Lal
      Registered On: March 16, 2019
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 1
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      I need that confidence

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #374630
      Jen Kelly
      Registered On: February 2, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 17
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      This kindly saleslady in target helped me when looking for panties. she was so nice and no judgement

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #363759
      Rachel Raven
      Registered On: April 17, 2019
      Topics: 21
      Replies: 72
      Has thanked: 90 times
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      I was shopping at the mall and stopped at both Ricki’s and Cleo’s.  The sales person at Ricki’s remembered from a previous time.  I was impressed!  She chatted with me about some new colours other than black that had come in and showed me a few things she thought I might like.  I didn’t get anything there.  I wondered over to Cleo’s, was asked if I needed any help.  Blushing, I said I was just browsing.  I stopped and started looking at a particular top.  Out of nowhere the sales person asked if I wanted to try it on.  Because of Covid, she asked if there was anything else I would like to try on rather than visit the change room a number of times.  I have to admit I was floored.  I said sure and she showed me where the change room was and when I was finished she asked what thought, how it fit, etc.  I ended up buying it and at the till she put me on the points club saying that I would most likely be back.  I agreed.

    • #363742
      Registered On: September 13, 2018
      Topics: 26
      Replies: 1444
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      That’s the thing, patty.  Nobody really cares!  So many girls build it all up in their minds, that the entire world is laughing at them.  (99% of people don’t give a rat’s ass, &  the 1% aren’t worth your concern). Those who matter don’t mind, & those who mind, don’t matter!
      So, shop with confidence, take your time, & enjoy yourself!  Take that cute outfit up to the register. Smile & say “Yes, it’s for me!”.

    • #363509
      Carla Jones
      Registered On: May 14, 2017
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 261
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      I have had a couple of great experiences at Kohl’s and Macy’s. I was shopping at Kohl’s for a pair of guys pants and a sales woman was cleaning out the dressing room when I stepped out to look at what I was trying on in the 3 sided mirror. She commented that the waist fit but the back was just to roomy. She went and got me a pair of women’s slacks and they fit perfectly. She took me to the women’s section and went over styles and fit and what would look good on me. She was very helpful. The other was at Macy’s and I was looking at some bras and a sales woman asked me if I needed help, I stammered out no. She asked me if I was purchasing for myself. I said one word, yes. She then told me to not be nervous and measured me and found a couple bras that looked great and felt even better. She told me she was there to help and wanted me to be happy with my purchase. She gave me some great information on panties that fit guys. I soon realized that the staff were there to make sales and will help if asked.

    • #363313
      Jenny Jones
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 1
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      Here’s something I keep in mind when I’m shoppping:

      The only people who will think you are buying women’s clothing for yourself are probably people who are aware of this lifestyle.

      Indeed most people’s first thought is they are buying it for their girlfriend or a family member. People think what they want to think and very few people think about males buying and trying on female clothes. Those that do, probably aren’t bothered by it.

      Eventually working up the courage to ask a cashier if you can try on the nice dress on the window is a completely separate matter. But most employees don’t care, its not their job to muscle in. They’ve been working retail for probably several years. I’ve heard much worse horror stories than a guy bought cute lingerie from friends in that industry. One of them says they walked in on a CD in a changing room (didn’t lock the door) and that’s still only like the sixth weirdest thing they’ve seen.

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    • #363252
      Registered On: September 27, 2016
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 180
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      All of those who shop in person and confirm that the female clothes are for you, my only thought is WOW!!!!! I wish I had your courage.

      • #374768
        Kathleen 60454
        Registered On: January 8, 2020
        Topics: 21
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        Kimmie, the first time that I admitted to a sales person was a young female at Victoria Secret. I was looking for a bra for myself walking around the store and this sales girl walked up to me and asked if she could help me and I told her that I was looking for a certain style bra and she asked if it was for my wife or me and I just blurted out that it was for me and I opened the top of my shirt and showed her my bra, told her that I  was a CD and what I was looking for. She just said okay and brought to the area of the store where they were with out any off handed remarks. when we got there she asked me what size I wore and started to show me some without any problems or making me feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. I didn’t purchase any because they didn’t have my size but the girl gave me her business card and told me to stop in and ask for her any time. So just go in these stores, be very confident in yourself, don’t be shy and they will work with you. They want to make a sale and they don’t care who it is for.


    • #363208
      patty williams
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 62
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      Hi Jin Thanks for that perspective I never thought of someone thinking that way.

      Thats very interesting.


      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #363205
      Jin Crocker
      Registered On: November 15, 2019
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 260
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      When the sales person  asks if I am looking for anything particular, I always describe the look I want and ask for suggestions. I find that as soon as I own up to shopping for myself, I cease to be a pervert and become a customer.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #362721
      Millicent Teasedale
      Registered On: August 24, 2015
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 168
      Has thanked: 26 times
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      Let me echo much of what others are saying. Just last night I was in drab at the big box looking for shorts. Cheap ones – the kind you wear around the house just to be comfortable. I dug through the racks in the plus-size area looking for a pair of 3X shorts. No one paid any attention to me, despite the fact that I was bending and moving around the racks trying to find those elusive blue tags. It was exactly the same in the men’s department. Just looking for a pair of shorts – just like the lady three racks over. No one cared about gender appearances. After many years I have discovered that most people in places like big box stores are just trying to get their shopping done and are not too worried about what someone else is buying – unless it’s the last package of toilet paper at the beginning of the pandemic hysteria. Even the older woman behind you who seems to be judging your lingerie and sanitary device purchases – she’s just as likely to be wondering why her partner won’t do that for her as she is to be wondering how it all would look on you.

      Now, a year ago I had an even better experience. I went to a local woman’s store in another town one evening – just to look. I found two black skirts – different lengths. I wanted them both, but could only afford one. I was in drab. I sucked it up and asked the woman at the desk if they had someplace I could try them on. She didn’t bat an eyelash, just escorted me back to the dressing rooms. The only thing she did do was say, a little loudly, “Here you go sir, this cubicle is free.” She wasn’t trying to embarrass me, she was making sure that if there was anyone else in the dressing rooms they wouldn’t be surprised by my presence. I bought the longer skirt, and the salesperson and her colleague both commented on how good looking that particular skirt was and how it would look good on me. Again, nice, pleasant, and welcoming.

      In short, like the others are saying, as nerve-wracking as it is to buy clothes sometimes, it’s just buying clothes. The vast majority of people you will deal with don’t care if it’s pink panties or plaid boxers, a dress or a suit, a bra or a t-shirt. Just like I try to help my customers when I’m working, they’re trying  to help you – their customer.

      Just remember, it takes all kinds, and we’re the ones that make the world a bit more interesting.

      Millie, with a fond memory



    • #362633
      Tiff Any
      Registered On: June 1, 2019
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 820
      Has thanked: 2359 times
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      Hi Patty , if….oops sorry –  when I’m out shopping & it’s for feminine clothes/products/ items for me , I’ll always identify that the purchase is for me , it’s not my problem if anyone has a problem . 💐💐

    • #362456
      Mary Priscilla
      Registered On: May 23, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 40
      Has thanked: 44 times
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      So far, I have managed to play it cool when purchasing stockings, lingerie, etc. as I am prepared to say that I am buying it for my wife who is home sick or whatever.  I was not as comfortable with that strategy when I bought my first bra.  Like so many of the responses here, I was struggling to make it it would be the right size and fit, allowing for boobs I just bought on line from Amazon.  Fortunately, I opted to get one size larger than my at home measurements called for and it was a perfect fit.  My ultimate shopping experience would be to have the assistance of an understanding/sensitive sales person in a store where there are no implied or verbalized negative judgments.

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    • #362454
      Registered On: June 22, 2019
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 285
      Has thanked: 1017 times
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      i remember the first time i was shopping for panties in Wally World (at the order of my Mistress at the time).  I spotted Some chemise gowns on sale and after asking permission and sending pics to get approval i walked up to the checkout with two pairs of panties and a black chemise all XL.  My heart was knnmy throat as well but the lady who checked me out merely complimented my taste in the panties.💋

      i discovered most retail employees are really interested in the sales not in judging the customers

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    • #362437
      Registered On:
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      I haven’t had much than weird looks from dudes. I have shopped by myself at goodwill though. In department stores I have been with my wife trying to be inconspicuous. Which I don’t think I need to be so scared..

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #362363
      Ria Freichuk
      Registered On: June 6, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 64
      Has thanked: 93 times
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      I was shopping in Superstore trying to decide on some bras when a sales lady approached me offering help. I was undecided about the color and she asked me the size I was looking for.  I told her a 38C ; she took a look at me, reached up and held a purple bra to my chest and said “this will look good on you” then walked away.

    • #362360
      Patty Phose
      Registered On: May 7, 2016
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 1330
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      I began buying my own pantyhose at 13. The only response I got was from an exceptionally helpful sales lady. I realized later on, she probably figured out I was buying the pantyhose for myself and she was helping me be discreet. Even when I bought my pantyhose in other places, I never thought I got any unusual treatment.

      At 17, I added short girls shorts to my wardrobe. I bought several pairs Sane thing. Never noticed any unusual reactions.

      I began wearing those shorts shorts out with my pantyhose. I really loved them and the look. But I needed shoes. There was some platform wedges I really wanted to complete my leg flattering look. I went to the shoe store dressed in my short shorts and pantyhose to try on and buy the shoes I liked best. Yes, I did chicken out many times before I got the nerve to go in the store. I did notice reactions from people. Some would look down my aisle. Others would seem to casually pass by. But no one was bothering me. I was beginning to get excited about getting my new shoes and began enjoying how people seemd to be interested in me and what I was doing. Over a couple of hours I tried n 6 pairs of wedges and walked around the store in each pair, showing my legs off and checking the out in the mirror. When I left I bought all 6 pairs and wore a pair out of the store.

      It was crazy, extremely scary and incredibly exciting. I think if it wasn’t for my attire and the way I was showing off no one would have cared what I was buying. When I got femmed up even a bit, like in my short shorts, pantyhose and platform wedges, I sometimes got attention, compliments, and often noticed people looking my way. When I went in drab, it was like I was invisible. No one really looked or seemed to care.

    • #362353
      Jenny Thigh High
      Registered On: August 10, 2019
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 207
      Has thanked: 889 times
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      the first time I publicly bought an outfit several years ago….”Sexy Cheerleader” costume LOL….my heart was in my throat when I went to check out.  Did they know at the cashier what I was up to?  It seemed like they did.  And it was terrifying.

      Not long afterward, it was Victoria Secrets in the local mall and yes, played the “buying for my girlfriend” routine.  Nervous a bit, but much less nervous.

      Now that I think of it, for fun, once or twice I’ve even said to the salesgirl “my boyfriend would love to see me in this!” 😉

      Today, although I shop very rarely, it’s fun and I don’t give it a second thought.  If I think someone stares (which they really almost never are), I am tempted to ask them if they think I’d look sexy in whatever item I have 🙂




    • #362347
      Simone C
      Registered On: January 23, 2019
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 113
      Has thanked: 49 times
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      Indeed it gets easier as you realise no one really cares, except in the lingerie department around the fitting rooms where they can be a little touchy. For all they know you’re buying it for a girlfriend.

      If it makes it easier work out your sizes and then have a phantom sister you are buying things for who miraculously has the same size as you. I have even said “My sister is the same size as me, let me try it on to be sure.” Not a problem. The assistant even said “Perhaps your sister would like this skirt more, why not try it on?” Not sure if she winked when she said it.

      As someone said, sales people want to make a sale!


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    • #362192
      Diana W
      Registered On: July 9, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 209
      Has thanked: 881 times
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      OMG!  I think I would freak out,  It sounds like fun though!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #362187
      Stephanie Kennedy
      Registered On: March 15, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 604
      Has thanked: 3758 times
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      Hi Patty I wear jeans pretty much 4 -5 days a week. I have three pair of Gloria Vanderbilt  both size 10 Med and recently size 12 med both strait leg I also have two pair of Levi 24 x 30 med skinny leg men’s. The skinny leg men’s are tighter on the leg from knee down but offer a little more material on thigh and front area they fit great on butt but the pockets are too big in the back and and front pockets are deep  you just have to remember not to put anything in front pockets . Finding the perfect jeans is just not easy.But wearing tops they go beyond crotch are does help your worrying about that area. Its getting to a point where i am always in fem mode but choose to wear men’s clothes because i do not want deal with looks in get. So i just mismatch mostly




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    • #362163
      Olivia Livin
      Registered On: October 22, 2018
      Topics: 35
      Replies: 1450
      Has thanked: 6197 times
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      Hi Patty

      Its our own fears that trip us up more often than not, most of us have similar stories to tell. After a few goes our confidence builds and then its off to the races. You made it and got a good deal as well.

    • #362147
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Registered On: June 26, 2019
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 202
      Has thanked: 778 times
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      I found as I matured in my being a CD that I became less and less self-conscious of what nearby persons were doing or their impressions of me.  In Goodwill and Wally World, I shop a couple of stores on a regular basis and have taken the time to chat briefly with the staff.  Many know me in both male and female mode.

      IMHO, recalling my own experience working retail when I was in college, most employees are most concerned about how much longer until their next break and how many hours are left on their current shift.

      Our CD money is green, like all customers, and it spends as easily as any other customer.  Moreover, many retail outlets are learning that CDs have money to spend and will bring in other CDs, when we are treated nicely.

      Peggy Sue



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    • #362133
      patty williams
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 62
      Replies: 1130
      Has thanked: 1749 times
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      Oh my gosh Stephanie,I thought my experience was attention getting.

      Yours was definitely more intense than mine but I love it.

      Do you wear womans skinny jeans in drab Mode?


      Thanks Patty

      Too funny

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    • #362125
      Gloria Renee
      Registered On: July 7, 2020
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 137
      Has thanked: 2001 times
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      Yea, I was shopping at Goodwill when they were having their 50% sale (prior to COVID19 shutdown). I was so nervous trying to figure out their sizing, ended up with a cute dress, skirt and a size 10 dress (way to small). Lucky for me, it was only $6.00 for everything.

    • #362112
      Stephanie Kennedy
      Registered On: March 15, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 604
      Has thanked: 3758 times
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      Hi Patty  I just went through some similar.  I just finished my food shopping and always take the time to cruise by the sale an clearance racks in the woman’s dept. You never know what treasures you may find. I found a cute cami and bra that were adorable and at a price i could not walk away from. The woman cashier scanned cami and held it up as if she was looking to buy it and told me she has one just like it and she paid $25.00 for it. Mine was $5.00. She asked where i found it and then decided to show the cashier in the next line over and said to her only $5.00 of course all had to chime in and say how pretty it is. That was not bad enough I was just dealing with the woman behind me giving the look when she scanned my skinny jeans and cute flip flops.  If you are not prepared to be a part of the fem world get prepared we are all looking and comparing notes mentally. It fun being a girl that is for sure

    • #362101
      Wendy Swift
      Registered On: May 11, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 235
      Has thanked: 144 times
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      I find nowadays people don’t bat an eyelash if you’re a guy shopping in the woman’s dept in a store like walmart.

      From time to time, I still think that people are watching and staring at me when I browse the ladies dept, but in reality no one really cares.

      A similiar incident happened to me at Walmart as well.  I found 2 black purses, and the tag said $5.  I scanned it to make sure, and it said $5.  At that time, there was no self serve checkouts, so I had to go thru the cashier.  As the cashier was scanning the purses, she looked at it, then called another cashier to come over to look at the purses.  I thought something was wrong, and there was a few other people behind me waiting.

      What she was pointing out to her colleague was that the 2 purses was $5 and what a great deal it was, not the fact that a guy was buying purses.

    • #362095
      Stephanie Flowers
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 4246
      Has thanked: 6159 times
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      it is nerve racking in its self but being confronting would be a very nervous time. She sounded quite nice and more importantly professional in her way. Once we can get around our fears these situations will only be a silly thing and never bothering again. I’m not just there yet but getting there…  As was told to me,  go in attack and leave happily with bags in hand.  Lol…

      Stephanie 🌹

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