Goodbye….at least for now

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone!  Happy New Year to you all!!

Life brings lots of twists and turns and one of those twists has come up in my life.  I am leaving my dressing behind, or at least I am going to give it a go.  After about a year of my wife knowing about Dana, it has come to my attention that this is driving a wedge between us and I had to make a very difficult decision.  The decision basically was between my marriage and my dressing.   I have chosen my marriage.

As a result, I am saying “goodbye”, at least for now.  I am not going to cancel my membership here…yet.  But I am not going to be active.

I want to thank all of you for the love and support you have shown me in the time that I have been on CDH.  I wish nothing but the very best and complete happiness for all of you.  And I will miss you.

Hugs… Dana

[Anonymous]

Dana, I hope everything works out. I have put dressing aside on a couple of occasions because I didn’t want to hurt my wife. She is now accepting of it. Never say never, good luck. Katie.

[Anonymous]

Dana,

My best wishes for you and your wife. I hope things will work out for you two!

Gabriela

[Stephanie Flowers]

Do what is right and yes like yourself my marriage is the most important thing to me and do cherish my love for my wife even if sacrificing something that is truly important to me. Hopefully down the road you’ll be able to enjoy expressing your self once again. 🌷

[Sylvia]

Dear Dana ,

I understand your decision and wish you the very best !
I am glad you are keeping your account here , and hope
you will drop in from time to time so we can hear how
you are doing.

I truly hope your wife will come to accept Dana at some point in the future.

All my Love ,
Sylvia

[Rhonda Lee]

Such a difficult situation, to which I can relate only too well. Nothing grieves me more.
It is such a shame we cannot be accepted for who we are, to the extent of having to give up our marriage if we choose to express our authentic selves. Most partners manage to find boundaries within which they can operate without having to make such a difficult life decision, but perhaps 25% of wives cannot reach any acceptance level and/or won’t even try. Mine was in that camp. I truly appreciate and share your grief and the heart-wrenching decisions you face.

I really hope you are able to succeed or that, perhaps in time, your wife will allow you freedom of expression within limits she can tolerate.

I have, over time, gathered excellent resources which help many couples better understand and accept this situation and am happy to share if it helps. I separate resources according to whether objections stem from religious grounds or are more generalized. For the general audience I especially recommend a documentary presented by Katy Kourec on PBS a few years ago “The Gender Revolution” as I recall. Morgan Freeman has some thought-provoking videos on a series “Through the Wormhole”, covering subjects such as ‘Are there more than two sexes?” and some other topics which appeal to the scientific, research-oriented mind, showing many examples in nature of phenomena which may seem abnormal to many but are in fact quite natural and common.

I worked with a Methodist-ordained preacher, Linda Herzer, who felt called to reach out to the TG community and left her MCC pulpit to start a consulting firm “Transformation Journeys” which helps inform and accredit counselors in these areas. Her original focus was on transsexuals, but she had a very inquiring mind and shifted focus to recognize the often differing mindset and needs of a broader group of crossdressers. She wrote a fantastic, tremendously insightful book which is especially informative to the faith-oriented community who have issues in this area. She cites many Biblical references which show the importance and inclusion of the TG community throughout history, from the very beginning and extending even to actions of Christ and His apostles… examples plain as day but seldom noticed.

If anyone feels such resources or discussions of this nature could potentially benefit their situation, please send me a PM.

[Angela Booth]

Dana, you have made a difficult decision for you but a good one for your marriage. You never know that commitment may pay dividends in the future. My best wishes to you.

[Alice Underwire]

Good luck Dana on your discussions with your wife!

Alice

[Peggy Sue Williams]

Dana,

Much love & support to you!

Yes, please keep the communications lines open with us.  We will be here for support.

This is such a stressful position to be placed in, to have to make a decision that involves truth and love.  Hopefully, you can locate a clinical psychologist who is educated AND experienced in the areas of cross dressing and marriage issues.

Hugs from Peggy Sue!

[Liara Wolfe]

I wish you luck Dana. Hope you come back.

Hugs, Liara

[Catherine Dickson]

I have a similar situation though my wife has not given an ultimatum.  It’s more just that she becomes worried knowing how much time I can sometimes spend chatting with you girls both here on CDH and privately.  I try to restrain myself and she tries to understand and cope.  It’s our compromise.  I hope the best for you, Dana.

 

cheers,

Catherine

[Bethann Paige]

Good luck Dana. I wish you the best.  Please do check in occasionally if you can and let everyone know how you and your wife are doing.

Bethann

[Stephanie Bass]

Hi Dana and a sad goodbuy atleast for a bit please say hello once in a while as the same with a up date on your progress dear lots of love and wishful things your way ..

Stephanie bass

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