• Creator
    Topic
  • #602895
    Dana J. Banton
    Participant
    Registered On: March 19, 2018
    Topics: 10
    Replies: 135
    Has thanked: 528 times
    Been thanked: 635 times

    Hi everyone!  Happy New Year to you all!!

    Life brings lots of twists and turns and one of those twists has come up in my life.  I am leaving my dressing behind, or at least I am going to give it a go.  After about a year of my wife knowing about Dana, it has come to my attention that this is driving a wedge between us and I had to make a very difficult decision.  The decision basically was between my marriage and my dressing.   I have chosen my marriage.

    As a result, I am saying “goodbye”, at least for now.  I am not going to cancel my membership here…yet.  But I am not going to be active.

    I want to thank all of you for the love and support you have shown me in the time that I have been on CDH.  I wish nothing but the very best and complete happiness for all of you.  And I will miss you.

    Hugs… Dana

Viewing 11 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #603350
      Stephanie Bass
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 3956
      Has thanked: 56525 times
      Been thanked: 14021 times

      Hi Dana and a sad goodbuy atleast for a bit please say hello once in a while as the same with a up date on your progress dear lots of love and wishful things your way ..

      Stephanie bass

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #603341
      Bethann Paige
      Duchess
      Registered On: December 23, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 52
      Has thanked: 40 times
      Been thanked: 233 times

      Good luck Dana. I wish you the best.  Please do check in occasionally if you can and let everyone know how you and your wife are doing.

      Bethann

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603328
      Catherine Dickson
      Lady
      Registered On: January 22, 2020
      Topics: 36
      Replies: 270
      Has thanked: 332 times
      Been thanked: 1640 times

      I have a similar situation though my wife has not given an ultimatum.  It’s more just that she becomes worried knowing how much time I can sometimes spend chatting with you girls both here on CDH and privately.  I try to restrain myself and she tries to understand and cope.  It’s our compromise.  I hope the best for you, Dana.

       

      cheers,

      Catherine

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603277
      Liara Wolfe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 1608
      Has thanked: 3157 times
      Been thanked: 5438 times

      I wish you luck Dana. Hope you come back.

      Hugs, Liara

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #602970
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: June 26, 2019
      Topics: 23
      Replies: 414
      Has thanked: 1548 times
      Been thanked: 2018 times

      Dana,

      Much love & support to you!

      Yes, please keep the communications lines open with us.  We will be here for support.

      This is such a stressful position to be placed in, to have to make a decision that involves truth and love.  Hopefully, you can locate a clinical psychologist who is educated AND experienced in the areas of cross dressing and marriage issues.

      Hugs from Peggy Sue!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #602966
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 95
      Replies: 5428
      Has thanked: 7486 times
      Been thanked: 14001 times

      Good luck Dana on your discussions with your wife!

      Alice

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #602949
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1174
      Has thanked: 4403 times
      Been thanked: 5254 times

      Dana, you have made a difficult decision for you but a good one for your marriage. You never know that commitment may pay dividends in the future. My best wishes to you.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #602944
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 115
      Has thanked: 133 times
      Been thanked: 550 times

      Such a difficult situation, to which I can relate only too well. Nothing grieves me more.
      It is such a shame we cannot be accepted for who we are, to the extent of having to give up our marriage if we choose to express our authentic selves. Most partners manage to find boundaries within which they can operate without having to make such a difficult life decision, but perhaps 25% of wives cannot reach any acceptance level and/or won’t even try. Mine was in that camp. I truly appreciate and share your grief and the heart-wrenching decisions you face.

      I really hope you are able to succeed or that, perhaps in time, your wife will allow you freedom of expression within limits she can tolerate.

      I have, over time, gathered excellent resources which help many couples better understand and accept this situation and am happy to share if it helps. I separate resources according to whether objections stem from religious grounds or are more generalized. For the general audience I especially recommend a documentary presented by Katy Kourec on PBS a few years ago “The Gender Revolution” as I recall. Morgan Freeman has some thought-provoking videos on a series “Through the Wormhole”, covering subjects such as ‘Are there more than two sexes?” and some other topics which appeal to the scientific, research-oriented mind, showing many examples in nature of phenomena which may seem abnormal to many but are in fact quite natural and common.

      I worked with a Methodist-ordained preacher, Linda Herzer, who felt called to reach out to the TG community and left her MCC pulpit to start a consulting firm “Transformation Journeys” which helps inform and accredit counselors in these areas. Her original focus was on transsexuals, but she had a very inquiring mind and shifted focus to recognize the often differing mindset and needs of a broader group of crossdressers. She wrote a fantastic, tremendously insightful book which is especially informative to the faith-oriented community who have issues in this area. She cites many Biblical references which show the importance and inclusion of the TG community throughout history, from the very beginning and extending even to actions of Christ and His apostles… examples plain as day but seldom noticed.

      If anyone feels such resources or discussions of this nature could potentially benefit their situation, please send me a PM.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #602930
      Sylvia
      Lady
      Registered On: October 10, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 667
      Has thanked: 16895 times
      Been thanked: 2759 times

      Dear Dana ,

      I understand your decision and wish you the very best !
      I am glad you are keeping your account here , and hope
      you will drop in from time to time so we can hear how
      you are doing.

      I truly hope your wife will come to accept Dana at some point in the future.

      All my Love ,
      Sylvia

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #602910
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 35
      Replies: 6386
      Has thanked: 12886 times
      Been thanked: 13282 times

      Do what is right and yes like yourself my marriage is the most important thing to me and do cherish my love for my wife even if sacrificing something that is truly important to me. Hopefully down the road you’ll be able to enjoy expressing your self once again. 🌷

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #602908
      Gabriela Romani
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 11, 2021
      Topics: 993
      Replies: 464
      Has thanked: 408 times
      Been thanked: 2309 times

      Dana,

      My best wishes for you and your wife. I hope things will work out for you two!

      Gabriela

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #602898
      Katie Plowright
      Lady
      Registered On: October 15, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 196
      Has thanked: 1076 times
      Been thanked: 1000 times

      Dana, I hope everything works out. I have put dressing aside on a couple of occasions because I didn’t want to hurt my wife. She is now accepting of it. Never say never, good luck. Katie.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
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