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Recently with the help of my SO I have been trying to fully accept my feminine side and listen to those feelings. The last few months have been a roller coaster to say the least.
During that time I was presenting as male tee shirt, pants and that was about the only thing male about me during this time. I was loving every minute of it and really starting to accept myself.
Around 2 weeks ago all the bad feelings crept back up, I took everything off and stopped doing all of the girly stuff that was making me so happy. I know we all have been there. Part of me felt bad for my partner even though she has always been supportive and encouraging and swore I wouldn’t do all of this to this extreme.
Yesterday my SO and I were talking. She brought up Melinda and said that she missed me being Melinda and that it seemed to help with my mood overall, makes me more calm, I’m more attentive towards her( not saying I wasnt before but I guess I do more as Melinda), my anger issues are all gone and that I overall just seem happier being Melinda. She was saying I should really give it all a go again and really try not to let these bad feelings get me down and keep me from all of this.
I know I am so lucky to have her by my side and her support as well as all you lovely ladies here. I think I am finally able to accept myself as I truly am, i am melinda and she is me. Hopefully the darker days will get fewer and fewer between and this all will start feeling like the gift it is and not the curse it has felt all these years. Remember to always keep a smile on your pretty face ladies..hugs 💖💖💖
Melinda
I do think you need to embrace Melinda honey, especially if your wife says so, allowing yourself to be a woman on occasion sounds like a tonic from you, it’s something I can relate to, I feel calmer after dressing. Just strike the balance is all without swinging from one extreme to the other and it may stop those darker feelings creeping in,and talk to your girl, she sounds like she has your corner. Good luck, it sounds like you might be heading to a place some of us can only dream about. Love, Mandy.
Melinda,
I think I have had the same feelings. Today I made a step toward being Anastasia full time. I spoke with my sister-in-law who is a psychologist. She was shocked when I confessed to her that I had been dressing. She also asked what my goals are. By the way, she specializes in LGBT counseling. She concluded that I am transgendered.
This was a huge shock to me. There is much more that goes into our 4 hour conversation, but it ended with her inviting me to come stay with her for a few days and live as Anastasia. She wants to take me shopping and get makeovers. I cried while talking to her. I am married but I have not talked to my wife yet. I think I need to get my head right before I tell my SO. It’s hard to hide, it hurts me physically. The one day of sunlight is now that I have talked about it with someone in my life I feel a huge burden has been lifted. It’s a long road but one thing my sister-in-law told me is that I need lots of friends. I think I have that here. I love all the girls here and I’m here to support and be lifted up.
Hello Melinda; Thank you for sharing your story. We’re very similar, I live life as a male but I have a female spirit. I too get in a better mood when I know I will be dressing as, when I’m dressed as, and after I’ve dressed as Brittney(my true self). You’re so very fortunate to have such a supportive S.O. that not only accepts your feminine side, but wants that side of you to be more relevant. My S.O. isn’t accepting or supportive, so I have to stay in secret where she’s concerned. As I said, being Brittney improves my mood. I’m not sure if she has noticed, since she hasn’t said anything. However, I’m doing this for myself and not to “enhance” the marriage. I hope your relationship has continued in a positive direction since you posted this.
Hi Melinda
I can’t tell you how much I totally get what you are feeling and how I understand that being yourself helps your whole feeling of wellbeing. I’m so hot tempered when I’m in male mode it’s embarrassing. Thankfully I don’t get violent but I do get very angry. When I’m being me, I’m so much calmer and happier. I often wonder if the difference in mood is down to over-compensating when presenting a male persona…it’s almost as if, if I don’t act all macho, people will instantly know I’m a crossdresser.
I know so well those dark feeling, guilt and self loathing followed by the inevitable purge…only to start all over again. All I can say is that I’m loving that I have “found” myself again and hope that Stacey is here to stay.
It’s wonderful that you have a supportive partner. Clearly she had seen how much happier you are in yourself when allowing Melinda to have her time. Women truly are amazing creatures 🙂
All the best for your journey.
Love
Stacey xx
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