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  • #457172
    Beth Green
    Registered On: February 24, 2021
    Topics: 12
    Replies: 177
    Has thanked: 629 times
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    Recent events have caused me to review my behavior when passing people outdoors on the sidewalk. I am always dressed en femme and I noticed a difference in people’s reactions to me depending on the way I acknowledged them.

    Years of male gender training guided me to give the typical male passing greeting of a nod of the head. For the men this resulted in either a similar greeting or an ugly scowl accompanied with a huff. For the women it was either a smile or ignore me. I’m not totally passable but I’m ok but this response made me realize that my greeting behavior tipped them off.

    So what is the proper way to acknowledge someone? After observing women pass others I saw two predominant behaviors. Smiling and ignoring. When passing a female they almost always smile. When passing a male they either smile or ignore.  A hello or other verbal greeting only occures if they are met with a return smile.

    I tested this behavior and smiled at everyone. The results were positive. I received return smiles from all of the women and a few hellos. From the men I received return smiles or nothing but no negative looks.

    The take away from this? SMILE !!! Ditch the male affectations and BE a woman. It will make your en femme outings so much more fun.

    Love and hugs,


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    • #457623
      Stephanie Scott
      Registered On: February 8, 2021
      Topics: 18
      Replies: 246
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      Fact check narrator says … this is true. 😂 Women generally smile more (although I almost always smile as a guy when greeting/passing). Women are more relational; men are more task oriented. And regardless of whether you pass, when you smile you exude confidence and a spirit of welcoming interaction which makes the other person feel less weird (and less worried about offending you)

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    • #457612
      Laura Lovett
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
      Topics: 13
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      I have tested this hypothesis in the field and the data I recorded concurs entirely with yours – the behaviours are repeatable with the system configurations you specify (sorry – former software tester!) 😎

      With some people, it’s more than just a hello – I have been drawn into conversation a few times on most days put, with random strangers, mostly women, and only been hit on a couple of times, mostly by men who have had one too many and are presumably looking through the beer goggles.

      Generally, people are absolutely lovely, and respond well to a reasonably presented, smiling cross dresser!

      Passing is so overrated – people like the authenticity of a cross dresser who looks like one and doesn’t try to hide it any further than nice clothes and attention to detail, especially on the makeup.

      I love getting complimented on my clothes, but lip and eye compliments make me feel all tingly!

      It’s the smile that is the single most important part of your outfit!

      Love Laura

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    • #457382
      stephanie plumb
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 17, 2018
      Topics: 146
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      Absolutely spot on.  A smile goes a looonnnng way.   And brief eye contact is important too. Social etiquette requires the other party to break eye contact, which means they look away, and so they don’t have time to appraise your appearance close up.

      I automatically smile on approach, it’s an instant facelift, and makes you seem friendly and approachable.  The only possible responses are for them to smile back or ignore you.  Instead of drawing attention to yourself it is actually a good distraction technique.

      In the UK many people of the older generation still use verbal greetings such a “hello” or “Good Morning.”     I say “Good morning” to older couples, or women, but never to a man on his own.

      ❤ Stephanie



    • #457184
      Bianca Everdene
      Registered On: April 11, 2017
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 767
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      Nailed it Beth, spot on. Smile, make eye contact ( very disarming to those with negative thoughts), keep yer chin up, be confident. So true, Ditch the cold man attitude, embrace the warm woman attitude. It is so much more fun.


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    • #457183
      Effie Fulk
      Registered On: February 7, 2021
      Topics: 21
      Replies: 540
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      Beth thank you for this!! I am often trying to figure out how to change my mannerisms to be more fem…as I continue to step out into the world I will remember this important behavior you have discovered!


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