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Recent events have caused me to review my behavior when passing people outdoors on the sidewalk. I am always dressed en femme and I noticed a difference in people’s reactions to me depending on the way I acknowledged them.
Years of male gender training guided me to give the typical male passing greeting of a nod of the head. For the men this resulted in either a similar greeting or an ugly scowl accompanied with a huff. For the women it was either a smile or ignore me. I’m not totally passable but I’m ok but this response made me realize that my greeting behavior tipped them off.
So what is the proper way to acknowledge someone? After observing women pass others I saw two predominant behaviors. Smiling and ignoring. When passing a female they almost always smile. When passing a male they either smile or ignore. A hello or other verbal greeting only occures if they are met with a return smile.
I tested this behavior and smiled at everyone. The results were positive. I received return smiles from all of the women and a few hellos. From the men I received return smiles or nothing but no negative looks.
The take away from this? SMILE !!! Ditch the male affectations and BE a woman. It will make your en femme outings so much more fun.
Love and hugs,
Beth
Beth thank you for this!! I am often trying to figure out how to change my mannerisms to be more fem…as I continue to step out into the world I will remember this important behavior you have discovered!
💖❤️
I have tested this hypothesis in the field and the data I recorded concurs entirely with yours – the behaviours are repeatable with the system configurations you specify (sorry – former software tester!) 😎
With some people, it’s more than just a hello – I have been drawn into conversation a few times on most days put, with random strangers, mostly women, and only been hit on a couple of times, mostly by men who have had one too many and are presumably looking through the beer goggles.
Generally, people are absolutely lovely, and respond well to a reasonably presented, smiling cross dresser!
Passing is so overrated – people like the authenticity of a cross dresser who looks like one and doesn’t try to hide it any further than nice clothes and attention to detail, especially on the makeup.
I love getting complimented on my clothes, but lip and eye compliments make me feel all tingly!
It’s the smile that is the single most important part of your outfit!
Love Laura
Fact check narrator says … this is true. 😂 Women generally smile more (although I almost always smile as a guy when greeting/passing). Women are more relational; men are more task oriented. And regardless of whether you pass, when you smile you exude confidence and a spirit of welcoming interaction which makes the other person feel less weird (and less worried about offending you)
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