Had “the talk”.

[Bee Dee]

Well, we did it. I was outed. My wife guessed I want to dress more. She knew only about my lingerie, not my other clothes or makeup. I had bought some hair bands as I’m growing my hair longer and it gets in my eyes, which I hate. I had it very long when I was young and have tried several times to grow it back since. I had put one on after a shower, went to show her hoping she wouldn’t be phased by it. She wasn’t at all bothered but something must have clicked.

That’s when she asked me if I was Trans? I said “no” because I’m not and have no intentions of it, I just like having the fantasy of femininity for a while. I love the feel of feminine clothes and lingerie, I don’t want to be a woman.

The conversation was a long one and lasted most of the day. It turns out that I had accidentally left my forms hanging about. She figured I used them to fill out my bra’s, complete my look but hadn’t said anything to me so I had no idea that when I showed her my head band it could lead to “the talk”. She doesn’t want any part in my dressing, which is a shame because I think we could have a laugh, lots of fun together with it but I can live with dressing by myself.

I’m so sorry that I hurt her, I never intended that, ever. She knows this and said I’ve not done anything wrong but I still feel like I’m going behind her back. Our path together is a little more uncertain now but I think she deserved to know about my dressing and I hated that aspect of it.

This was last weekend and we’ve not mentioned it since. Everything feels the same for me. Hopefully we will be able to endure this part of our lives and continue on our journey together.

Thanks for reading.

Take care, Bee.

Total of 28 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.

Rei Durden, Amy Myers, Regine Rich, Sarah Du Hessisse, Mary Ann Summers, Grace Scarlett, Suki Rivers, Stephanie Flowers, Jennifer McCrennaugh, Samantha Church, Cindy Jones, Mika Malone, Laura Lovett, patty williams, Patty Phose

Topic

[Bee Dee]

Thank you all for reading this and for the support you’ve given me. The caring attitudes of the people and community on this site have allowed me to express how I feel about my dressing – something which, I’d not otherwise be able to do.

Thank you all for the comments and guidance.

Take care, Bee.

[Rei Durden]

Hi Bee Dee.

I’m late to the conversation here so most everything that I could have said has been said.

I’m happy that you’ve gotten rid of the burden of hiding, it’s a monstrous weight to bear.

Be patient Bee, there’s sure to be plenty of day and weekend long discussions ahead, and that’s okay, at least you are still communicating.

 

Best wishes, Rei

3 users thanked author for this post.

Bee Dee, Grace Scarlett, Stephanie Flowers

[Regine Rich]

Hi Bee Dee.
It seems she is accepting, at least somewhat? My advice is patience, and, as has been stated, communication is key. Just little talks, are so much easier and just as meaningful as the “big” one,
and above all, make sure she never doubts your love, or the male you, if you choose to keep him.
Hugs, Regine

4 users thanked author for this post.

Grace Scarlett, Stephanie Flowers, Rei Durden, Bee Dee

[Bee Dee]

Hi Regine thank you for the lovely advise, I’m gonna keep “him” as well.

1 user thanked author for this post.

Grace Scarlett

[Grace Scarlett]

Hi Bee Dee honey

I echo what a lot of girls have already said….it’s out, no more hiding, no more lies, no more unwanted stress….

now the next step??….so many posts on here quote ” she wants nothing to do with my dressing”….yet with time, so many couples end up sharing everything….I so hope you are one of those couples…

best wishes, grace xx

 

4 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Flowers, Rei Durden, Regine Rich, Bee Dee

[Bee Dee]

Thank you Grace, I hope so too.

1 user thanked author for this post.

Grace Scarlett

[Bobbi Sue]

Ok, read all of this.  Don’t get mad and stop mid way.

Don’t expect your wife to like it, or understand.  She simply wants you to be something she desires.  And none of her desires include you bringing femininity.  She’s already got that.

But if she really loves you, maybe she’ll indulge your needs some.  Perhaps allow it at times, or maybe just turn a blind eye.  Who knows?   My point is, real love isn’t selfish, it’s about acceptance and affirmation.  Unfortunately in real life, love is usually what someone can get, not give.

4 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Flowers, Rei Durden, Bee Dee, Suki Rivers

[Regine Rich]

Hi Bobbi Sue, Im sorry but I have to disagree ,to a point.
I realize I am one of the luckiest girls here, but I do believe even if I hadn’t been, my wife could grow to love Regi as much as I do. if we take away hope, what are we left with?
As it is,my beautiful bride not only embraces me, but encourages, and is sooo happy I am here(Regi)
Regi.

2 users thanked author for this post.

Rei Durden, Bee Dee

[Stephanie Flowers]

Communications is most important. Respect towards her feelings and trust that is now may have been questioned will take work to smooth out. Follow her lead and make sure she’s in control of where this may evolves to.   Best to you both on this journey through theses times ahead. 🌷

2 users thanked author for this post.

Rei Durden, Bee Dee

[Cindy Lou]

Give it time it’s not written in stone Bee. My wife is completely supportive. We’ve been together over 20 years, earlier this year we had the talk. Every marriage has its up’s and downs, but we truly have a great one. That being said I still waited over 20 years because either the time wasn’t right, I didn’t have the courage, or I didn’t think she was ready to hear it. I tried to bring it up about 15 years ago, got a lukewarm response, but it was progress. The next day I went so far as to shave my legs, put out a pair of black stockings, and surprise her. The response I got from her back then told me this was not going to work. In retrospect it was the right thing to do, my daughter was very young and needed a father not two mothers. The point I’m making is patience is a virtue. As I mentioned we’ve had a wonderful marriage even though I had to keep my crossdressing private, so there’s no rush, baby steps. Best of luck to you Bee, I’m here if you need help

6 users thanked author for this post.

Mika Malone, Rei Durden, Bee Dee, Suki Rivers, Stephanie Flowers

[Bee Dee]

Thank you Cindy Lou, glad to hear it working for your family. Best wishes! Bee.

[Mandy Wife]

Well done for having the chat, even if is did come about accidentally and you were “found out” – honesty is the best policy but also giving your wife time to digest and process as well.

It’s been a week you say, can you maybe find the opportunity to check in with her to just say “it’s been a week since we had a bit chat, and I know you and I know you will be mulling things over – I dont want you to worry or feel you can’t ask or say anything so what’s on your mind” – you are not trying to pressurise her into anything and you need to be clear about that, if she has her limits then you need to respect those, but you need to keep the channels of communication open.

Mxx

7 users thanked author for this post.

Rei Durden, Bee Dee, Zoe North, Stephanie Flowers, Jamie Taal, Honey T, Emily

[Bee Dee]

I know she’ll be thinking about it but it’s too early yet to bring it back up. I need to show her that I respect her wishes and give her more time. Thank you Mandy! Take care, Bee.

[Patty Phose]

It seems like “the talk” can have different results. Worse case it puts and end to the relationship. Maybe next worse is, “I don’t want to know and don’t wear those clothes around me”.  Best case, it adds a new and fun aspect to a relationship. I’ve seen all of these cases with other CD’s. I’m fortunate in that I got the best case.

6 users thanked author for this post.

Rei Durden, Suki Rivers, Bettylou Cox, Emily, Bee Dee, Mika Malone

[Emily]

At least it’s out there now. You had a chance to speak to some of her concerns.  That’s good! Perhaps in her time, she will become more accepting and want to share this important part of your life with you. Give her all the time she needs to process.

6 users thanked author for this post.

Rei Durden, Suki Rivers, Bee Dee, Mika Malone, Laura Lovett

[Bee Dee]

Hi, Emily. I’m glad in one way that it happened, like you say it’s “out there” now and as far as I can see, all is as well as I could have hoped for. On the other hand, I know she’s going to worry and over think things, so there’s that as well.

Hoping it’s gonna be O.K.

1 user thanked author for this post.

Emily

[Robyn Devine]

Bee

I truly wish it could’ve gone better for you.  In ways YES,  she’s missing out on being able to enrich both your lives.  With some women its just not meant to be.  Not to de-value your wife at all, but you needed to get that out in the open.  It may not feel like now, but its out there in the open and off your chest.  I hope you can still both move forward.

Best wishes to you both

xo – Robyn 🤗❤️

6 users thanked author for this post.

Rei Durden, Grace Scarlett, Bee Dee, Mika Malone, Emily

[Bee Dee]

Thank you Robyn, I hope so too.

 

1 user thanked author for this post.

Robyn Devine

[Tammy O’Hare]

Hi Bee,
I came out recently with my wife. I always had a special feeling about women not in a sexual but envious way. They are truly beautiful inside and out and what I always wanted to be. I know how you feel and I am so sorry your wife is having issues. I was lucky, my wife is supportive once she knew that I would never leave her or forsake her in any way. I don’t know what’s in store for you but I suggest you be honest and open. We cried for several days and after that the grief subsided and now we are day to day. I feel for anyone having to hide and dress in secret. The self shaming can be overwhelming at times and yet it never goes away the feminine side that yearns.
Little deep huh?
I’m sooo sorry but hang in there girl, you are not alone….
Love
Tammy

8 users thanked author for this post.

Rei Durden, Cindy Lou, Bee Dee, Mika Malone, Laura Lovett, Emily, Robyn Devine

[Bee Dee]

Thank you Tammy.

[Olivia Livin]

Its always a tough conversation to have Bee but even without the acceptance that we hope for sometimrs it still feels better no longer having to decieve by ommission. Congrats and hopefully over time your wife will ease into it a bit more.

6 users thanked author for this post.

Rei Durden, Stephanie Flowers, Bee Dee, Mika Malone, Robyn Devine

[Bee Dee]

Thanks Olivia.

1 user thanked author for this post.

Olivia Livin

[Author]

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