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Happy Father’s Day Sunday!!!….
As I don’t have kids….does that make me a Faux Pa ????😂😂
Yesterday and today it has rained heavily on ” Scarlett Towers”….at last, it’s cooled down and it’s very refreshing
To the point ….
I have seen lots of posts from various girls on here regarding acceptance…
So have the general public become more tolerant and understanding with us girls??
Since you started crossdressing, has the world mellowed??
What’s it like where you live regarding acceptance, if you were seen in your town/ city, would the outcome be generally favourable??..
….do you think crossdressing will be widely accepted and commonplace in the future…..your lifetime??
Personally, I think it’s getting better, more people don’t seem to mind what we do……but it’s still happening too slowly for my liking.
What’s your thoughts???
Love you all, grace 💓💓
Good morning Your Grace,
I cant speak personally, as I haven’t really been out in the wide world yet, but I do think ,at least in Canada, it may be getting better, for all LBGTQ, everything here is about acceptance now, and gender acceptance. at least in the media and news. As for real world scenario’s, we are still going to have “those” people, sometimes
Hugs, Regi👸💕I always enjoyed dressing for the way it made me look and feel. It got easier in ways where I dress freely. Now I’m nearly full time. When I first began dressing at a young age, I had to be careful to not be dressed when dad was around.
When I was 13 and began buying my own pantyhose, I was careful to take them out of their packaging, discard the packaging in public waste containers and hide the pantyhose under other clothes. It was the same thing with bras which I began buying soon after.
At 17, I bought a few pairs of little shorts, a pair of platform wedge heels and a couple of wigs. I kept the shorts and bras hidden under other clothes and hid the wigs and shoes in the trunk of my car.
At home, I would put on my pantyhose, little shorts and a bra, then I would cover them with long pants and socks. I would walk out to the car, drive to a nearby park, take the shoes wig, and several pairs of old pantyhose out of the trunk. I would take off my socks and long pants and put on my platform wedges. Then I would stuff my bra with the old pantyhose, put on my wig and spend the day out dressed like Daisy Duke.
Then before going home, I would go back to the park, take off my wig and platform wedges and take the pantyhose out of my bra. I would put my long pants and socks back on and put my wig, shoes and old pantyhose back in the trunk of the car.
When I was 18 and got my own place, those restrictions ended. I could buy what I wanted and wear it anytime I wanted. I could leave the house dressed and return dressed. That was easier and I was almost always dressed.
When kids came along, my dressing became discreet. When the kids grew and went out on their own I was back to nearly full time dressing again. The wife is fine with it and likes Patty. We’ve been girl friends since a couple of weeks after we first met.
Hi Grace It is a good subject I am not sue people understand the difference between being transgender and a cross dresser. I would venture to believe there is a whole lot that do not understand here I believe people are more sensitive to the needs a person who may transgender. It is fast becoming law both on a individual State and Federal level. I am a person that does not like a bigger government. Sadly it has taken our Governments to FORCE most peoples mind to change. I do not believe most people would change other wise.I grew up in a very liberal State here in the US and there were a few places were we could gather without any concern for safety but if we were caught alone at night by the wrong drunken teenagers we could have been beaten to death but some how it would of been justified or not even looked into. It did not happen to me but it did happen to a dear friend that decided to risk going out to a car of a admirer. She said to me I will be right back and she never came back. I went to her funeral with a proper boys hair cut vowing not to return to that life style.We all know we will come back, because we have to, it is not a choice. It is just a part of us that has to be expressed one way or another. Now that I am thinking about it. There are choices. You can choose to deny it and slowly lose your mind. You can choose to hide it and live in fear of being caught. You can choose to shame it and walking around depressed all the time or we can choose to accept it and try to make it work within our present life style. Our younger generation does have it so much easier if they choose to follow their heart. Society will back off because they are being forced to back off right now Hopefully we will become part of the norm one day just as the gay and lesbian people has become part of the norm. Our time is now. We have to come under the transgender flag because we are transgender in some ways. We just trans between both genders as needed or what ever. I was out shopping the other day [It seems my life revolves around shopping] Any way there was a young trans girl walking with her mother just chatting away. Totally oblivious the world around them. It just looked like a typical mother daughter disagreement. The young girl was wearing nothing really special or even noticeable, no make up her hair tied back into a pony tail. You could see she was in the middle of transitioning. She has little no breast aside from those cute bumps for lack of better words. Her muscle tone was beginning to fade There was a softness beginning to appear on different parts of her body legs, arms, thighs. butt so on.I thought to my self how wonderful it is for her to able able to walk through a major shopping center without a care in the world. She could focus on her mom’s conversation and where they were going I am sure there are those who want to debate whether my observations about her were correct. Lets say there are somethings that are very difficult to modify and leave at that.. The fact that many do not understand the difference between a cross dresser and a transgender person [ despite we have been around since the age of the dinosaur ] we will be covered under the new laws. Trying to explain the difference will just fall on deaf ears. So when it doubt just say “gender questioning’ that should throw them off. So back to the original question Is it getting better for us? yes but we have to help those who are fighting this fight. we may not be transgender but we are tied to each other. TG/CD. What is the difference? Only you know the difference. Grace you got my brain started now i have to take medication to slow it down. Thank you for your post.
Luv Stephanie
Hi Grace
I think crossdressing in some ways has become a little easier and society a little more tolerant. The internet has been a big driver in that, as it allows us to connect a bit more and not feel as isolated (and, of course, it makes shopping a whole lot easier). The internet has also showcased to broader society that there is a critical mass of people who do crossdress and that they are not all psychopathic gay sex maniacs! 😉
We are not out of the woods by any stretch of the imagination though. I think we are also seeing a backlash against more liberal and more tolerant views from the conservative right. And that is across the board, be it a more reactionary approach to crossdressing, womens rights, race, LGBTQ, immigration, education etc. I’m hoping that such reactionary views are the last gasp of an obsolete way of thinking.
HI Grace Happy father day
Being accepted is getting easier for myself or people are just giving up on everything. Never get any bad vibes from anyone. To me the people in my life matters like family friends that support me thick and thin
all that matter to me others that think differently they need to learn to cope because we not going no where.
Donna
Good question Grace. And a Happy Pride Month to one and all!🏳️🌈.
In general, yes, I think it is becoming easier. More public acceptance across the spectrum. Still a lot of right wing conservative legislative pushback. (See: Trans athlete restriction bills in many states). But almost everyone on the planet personally knows or knows of someone who identifies LGBTQ+. That makes it harder for the haters to hate.
Ironically, on the individual level it is obviously a struggle to be open. And especially hard to be open to those we know and love. Oddly it is so much easier to present ourselves to strangers than it is to open ourselves to people who already know us. Revealing what for many of us is our secret side to our social circle is harder than it is in revealing our femme side to total strangers. In some ways it would be nice to simply start all over again, always open, never having hidden secrets, just being ourselves to the whole world.
Best,
Clara
Very good question.
In my opinion I think the general public is becoming more tolerant of the crossdressing dressing community and other lifestyles. But like other ladies have said we still have a long way to go. Yesterday was my third outing dressed and what makes this so special was that it was in broad daylight in a very public mall (other two times dressed were at night out in semi public places). I was nervous but the thing for me is don’t make eye contact with people and mind your business. Let them look, be shocked, accept, smile, talk to me if they want to…
I went with one of my best friends, an ex girlfriend, and we went to get some makeup and then walk the mall a bit and went to lunch. No issues whatsoever. The people at the makeup business were and are so accepting and helpful.
At the restaurant it was a different story. I got a lot of disgusting looks and verbal “oh wow” or “did you see that?”
Has the world mellowed-yes and no. Acceptance is happening around the world and in little communities but we still have hatred for people of the LGBTQ community.
I live in a conservative state and I myself am independent. As far as I know there is acceptance in our community.
As this had been said in previous posts were not going anywhere and acceptance is only getting better with time. I don’t like the slowness of the acceptance but look at how many people we have to affect? We live in a very diverse world
Thanks for your reply Paula. So glad you are getting out, hope the problems in the restaurant doesn’t put you off….I have had the odd look or comment….but we aren’t going anywhere ….are we!!!!
Grace x
Hi Grace. Well, so far two of my three adult children have acknowledged the day, and I have thought about my own father, who passed away suddenly before I even understood the day.
From what I have seen and read, I have to agree with those here who suggest that things are getting better…in general. Trouble is most of us don’t live in some place called ‘general’. Locally, I live in a rather conservative community (fortunately, in a somewhat more accepting neighborhood!), and while there are a lot of people here who understand and accept to some degree alternate lifestyles and personal preferences, there are many who don’t, and they tend to be quite vocal about it.
Acceptance will happen, I have no doubt, just not fast enough for many here to truly enjoy. We just need to keep on pressing forward, and understand there will always be resistance, like there has for many groups in history.
Thanks Chloe…I’m sorry about your father, mine passed on when I was younger too!!!…I will raise a glass to him today x
Love it that we should all maybe move to ” general” and live happily ever after…..
hey, maybe that’s why we are happy to be here in ” general” chat !!
Huggs, grace xx
Things are definitely better than they once were. I’d have gotten beat up in high school, but my oldest son said there were trans people in his class and hardly anyone gave them any issues.
Still it varies a great deal from place to place, even in the same state over here. What is acceptable (and has been for a long time) in San Francisco is still not cool way up state in the mountains. Or what is cool in Virginia Beach is going to get hard looks out in the Shenandoah Valley.
But there are college towns everywhere, and those are usually going to be more accepting, and then that spreads out to the surrounding areas too.
We see on TV and the movies all sorts of LGBTQ+ people, and that starts to change minds. The problem remains with those who are afraid of change of any sort.
We’re going nowhere? I disagree. We’re going everywhere, and the more people who see us, that we’re not out to take anything from them or do anything to them, then the sooner we can go everywhere with safety and confidence.
Tits up, girls!
Bridgette
Yes Grace it is getting easier since I started dressing eons ago and it will continue to change for the better, but because of my age it won’t be totally acceptable in my lifetime. If I were 40 years younger then there would be a chance for me to see it happening.
Kathleen xxxxx 💋♥
Hi Kath….
I agree with Bridgette, it does seem to depend more on where you live at this moment in time….it probably won’t be universally accepted in our lifetime…..but as long as it is one day!!!
Started eon’s ago????….well at least the velociraptors didn’t get you!!!….glad you are still with us honey xx
I agree with Bridgette also…. I may be older than most of you here but I wasn’t around at the time of the “velociraptors”. I’m not that old.
Kathleen……
Haha….that’s a relief….if a T-rex bit your ass….it hurt!!!!
Definitely!
We still have work to do, and there are idiots – there will always be idiots – but most people don’t bat an eyelid, a significant proportion of women smile, while a similar proportion of men look embarrassed (probably closeted!).
Some people, a surprising number, openly compliment and congratulate you!
I know this isn’t confined to my experiences – the previous time I was in Brighton, I was chatting to a CD friend outside a bar, and an elderly gentleman came out of the pub opposite just to tell us how fabulous he though we looked. Then he noticed my 5 o’clock shadow, and the praise was directed more at my friend for making more effort!
Haha!
So it goes – I was on my way to my hotel to freshen up…
I stopped at a busy service station on the way back today, desperate for the ladies, and a lady coming out held the door for me and said “There you go, dear!”
Not one woman looked disparagingly at me, and the lady attendant pointed me to a vacancy cubicle.
I take that as acceptance.
Love Laura
Happy non-Fathers day Grace!
Oh my it does seem like a glacier slow process, but I think the general public is creeping towards more tolerance, though I still do not think they understand the CD/TG community very well. Kind of like “okay, I’ll accept it but I dont get it”. For myself it was easier now, – my brothers are older and mellower and I have grown nieces who love me, my fathers gone, and moms with Alzheimer’s. Could Never have done that when my father was alive ( died 15 years ago yesterday…. ), it would of destroyed him I think, he would never understand transgender-ism(?). Sadly it is easier when some loved ones are no longer around, and in general it’s a lot easier with all the support now a days. This place is a perfect example of how much better things are now than they were even 20 years ago 🙂.
Stevie ❤
Amen Stevie….
and raise a glass to your dad too. xx
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I know there are two sides to this in my opinion, easier from a personal standpoint and easier from a societal standpoint. I have been going out dressed long enough to have seen both sides and the changes in both as well.
Personally I have come a long way in self discovery and personal acceptance. With this it has become much easier to go out. I have been going out dressed in public for over 30 years and I know by accepting myself and owning it, it is so much easier.
Societal acceptance is a definite improvement. For all the spectrum of the rainbow (which yes, we do fall under as far as society is concerned) life is much more acceptable. Part is acceptance and part is people are just to busy and self absorbed to care about others and their surroundings.
I hope those that still feel uncomfortable being themselves, be it due to society or their own worries, can accept that who they are is okay and you don’t need permission to be yourself. Enjoy life!! It is way to short to die miserable and unfulfilled.
🍷C I feel the need to supplement my original reply. Seems I overlooked a few important points.
First of all, faux Pa? That one goes into the archives of the Grace Scarlett Hall of Fame. No question.
Then I neglected to follow your lead and wish all the fathers or wannabe fathers or anyone who may have ever had a father or even just a male figure who may have inspired you, or to you who may inspire others (have I covered everyone?) a happy Fathers Day!
Finally, you said, “since you started crossdressing, has the world mellowed?”. I am waaaay too new at this to have that kind of perspective. Just donned the pretty things a short time ago. But to those of you who have been out there fighting the good fight, some for literally decades, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can’t imagine the trials some have gone through. Without you there may not be a CDH and quite possibly no Clara.
So a tip o’ the flowered bonnet to all of you.
Clara
💐💐 Beautifully said Clara💐💐
Good evening Grace yes it has become more generally recognised, when I first started crossdressing back in the 1970’s. It was regarded as something only “queers” did little did they know, thankfully these days its socially more recognised. I think society is more accepting of younger people crossdressing, I don’t think they accept us older crossdressers as much. I do think the hatred and aggression towards us has diminished, I am happier now it’s easier for the younger people who unwittingly have made it less taboo.
Love to all you girls
Sarah xx
Hi Grace,
Good topic! Like Regi, I have not ventured out in the public, so I don’t have any real experience to share. What I do noticed is that the media have increasingly included QLGBT+ characters in many new shows I have seen recently. If you watched any of the new shows from Netflix, there is a good chance you will see portrayal of characters from that community. For example, the mini series Sense8 is a good example, where they have gays and transgendered characters. Although not specifically of crossdressers, but I do like the fact that they depict these characters as ordinary people. In a sense for me, it teach people that we are all ordinary people, including those that don’t conform to the traditional meaning of what gender is. I find the younger generation that are taught about the QLGBT+ community in their early age are much more understanding and accepting of people from that community. With education in school and good media representation, I think we are less viewed as sex deprived, perverted psycho killers as in the past. That being said, there is still much resistance from older generation that they simply do not want their children to be taught about our community and certainly not willing to accept us. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take many of these people to spoil it all for us. Overall, I do believe it has gotten easier for us but still a long long ways to go.
Rachel M
Hi Grace,
“Faux Pa?” OUCH!
The media no longer presents us in a negative way, and that has helped; and so many people no longer care about anything, other than themselves, which is a mixed “blessing”. Things are infinitely better, now. When I was young (1950’s) there were only a handful of places where one could feel safe; now the opposite is true.
Hugs,
BettylouI think that millenials as they are called don’t think crossdressing is a bad thing like my generation
So it is getting easier for us to blend into the younger society. I have found that when I buy feminine items over the counter the younger sales people don’t blink an eye. In fact I recently had a young girl complement me on my choice of panties. She knew that they were for me.Grace honey it can’t happen fast enough. Unfortunately in my corner of the globe I would be at the very least be called many stupid things, just last year a young gay man was stabbed in my home town. At a bar with many witnesses, still no arrests.
That’s terrible…events like that, however rare, will drive girls deeper into their closets….I can’t recall trans/ cd related deaths in England …..thank goodness xx
Happy Fathers Day Lady Grace!
That is good news you’re enjoying a break in the scorching heat.
I agree with what Bridgette said. Generally, things are much better than they were when we oldsters were young. In many areas there remains bias and the rednecks haven’t relented on fear and hateful taunting. As others have said the younger generation shows great maturity and kindness for others. We can hope for continuing improvement.
Alice
Hi Grace pulled it off once again Son and Daughter meeting my father today went in as Son then came out later as Daughter The whole family were surprise to see the Daughter today. Dad was happy to see his soon to be Daughter all the time.
Oh stay cool.
Donna…the sooner you are ” all girl” the better…. this boy girl boy girl is even confusing me!!! 😂😂😂💓
Not the only one lol hard being 2 people almost the same time. when comes to events like this have to make up mind to be the one wanting and just make male self be gone.
There’s a lot to it. I would argue the question of ‘being girl’ is still up to debate as well. Like I would argue it is probably easier for full on trans, but the non-binary crowd is still getting it rough, especially since the trans crowd isn’t always the most accepting of their nb allies yet.
Not to say being trans is easy just yet either. There’s still a lot to it and it genuinely only takes one or two people to completely ruin the mood. While there is a growing wave of acceptance, it only takes one or two rocks to cause a shipwreck.
I think crossdressing is definitely more accepted and commonplace now than just twenty years ago. I hope and believe one more generation will make it simply another every day thing. I also think we will begin seeing more and more males wearing skirts and dresses as a male look. Many designers have that look every year and the current young generation seems to be much more open to it. I would love to wear skirts in the summer because the temperature is so high here. Oh, to be young again! In another 20 years I’d have the choice of dressing in traditional male clothing, skirts and dresses, or fully feminized.
For me I think it has become much better. I can see from the replies that it depends where you live.
In my time there has been more and more positive media coverage and better education. I have also become much more comfortable in accepting myself and built the confidence to do things I never thought I would be able to do as in Carolyns point. If you accept yourself then others will too. Stevie is right that people may not get it but accept it. Of course there are idiots out there but even they realise the law is on our side.
I have been amazed at the acceptance I have had from young to old. I can live, work and play now and feel that things have moved so far in my years.
I think that LBGTQ organisations have helped a great deal. However they are now making demands that even the general public are finding hard to accept. Look at what has happened to Stonewall here in the U.K. This has a danger of making life hard for us girls who are content with our lot and feel accepted within society. As a whole the public are with us but make demands which make them uncomfortable could have negative consequences.
Happy father’s day to all a day late, I talked to all my kids, 4 of them and saw 2 plus we had a real nice dinner after spending the afternoon lounging around the pool with a cold beer, Valhalla.
Things are definitely much better than when I was in my teens, I was blackmailed into prostitution when I was 14 nearly 15 and that’s what they used against me, they had pictures and video of me and threatened to expose me to make me do what they want. If they had outed me my life would have been hell, I would have no doubt been beaten up every day at school and my father would have disowned me, not a good time.
You still have to know where you are when you go out because if you get into some places, small farming communities around me, very religious folks and are completely intolerant. Plus certain areas in our larger cities not a good place for girls like us.
I’ve been out many times and yes I’ve ran into some bigoted idiots, heck they’re everywhere but I find most of them are more scared of what we represent and don’t understand us, as they say ignorance breeds contempt.
There’s a long way to go for universal acceptance which I don’t think will ever happen, honestly we can’t even agree on religion and politics never mind hey by the way I’m really a woman trapped in a man’s body. I have one friend who still considers us mentally ill and we should all be medicated or lobotomized.
Things have come a long way but still have a long way to go and I’m pretty sure it won’t be in my lifetime.
Take care, Heather.
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