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Hi Everyone. Pondering whilst sitting in the car eating my lunch, my mind wandered into thinking have i actually turned into a better person since cross dressing? Weird question eh? But then, i am a weird person lol.
It has certainly given me an insight into my own life, meaning, i am the person i always wished to be instead of trying to con myself and everyone else. Dressing instantly makes me feel more positive inside, i feel i can solve the mysteries of the universe and i reasoned, its simply because i am happy Dressing. Lets face it, if you are forced to be drab, you are hardly likely to see much positvity in your life?
For those of you that dont get much of a chance to dress, i can imagine, just how i felt, how much of a struggle and personally a soul destroying situation that can form.
I have absolutely no doubt that given the chance to Dress at your own leisure Many of us would not be so depressed. So my question is….. does cross dressing affect your well being? Do you feel much more positive in yourself being dressed? Do you feel you can accomplish more Dressed up?
For myself, i generally feel much more Positive than i did Three years ago because i can dress more.
Something to think about……
Fiona xx
I think it has for me. It’s made me think differently, and deeper, about a lot of things. I also think I’m kinder and more understanding of people who are different from me. I probably would have said I was already all of those things, but I think the experience of exploring this aspect of myself has had benefits.
Yes, I’m a much happier and contended person now after coming out to the wife years ago. She has even commented on how peaceful I am now and I don’t get depressed like I used to. I would get anxious and depressed when I was in the closet because of that hidden persona we all carry with us like an electronic ankle bracelet never letting us forget its there and never free of it. If you can find some way to embrace your fem self it will change your life.
Maybe better and different for sure. For one thing, l can relate, I think a lot better as to how GGs feel when they want to go out to a place where you can dress for the occasion. I never understood all the trouble that that entailed, as a male, but as a female, I can understand just the thrill of putting all of it together. I am a better person for having seen how both males and females feel when they are all dressed up. I can say for sure that if I have a choice to go out in a suit and tie, or a nice dress, I’d for sure pick the dress.
I’ve also noticed more of a calmness to me that has started to take hold because I can now express myself whenever I want to. I am really free to be a woman whenever the urge hits me, not when the right situation presents itself. I am only inhibited by my own fears for doing what I do, but am trying to cope to overcome those too. Maybe someday!
I think I am. Since I am out to a higher degree than most here and much more than I ever expected I would EVER be. My nails are painted all day every day weather in male mode or fem mode. I use that to compliment many ladies on their nails. Often in female mode I give compliments on hair,tops, shoes/boots and hair color/styles. Now I notice these things more than ever.
. Cassie
Hi Fiona,
The Physical change, changes every thing .. My whole mindset is affected & always More
Positively.. I am never depressed and Always So Excited when I see Me in the Mirror to start the day!!
I think I know how an animal feels being let back into the Wild!! I Love it, It’s where I belong..
XoXo Jill💖Does it make me a better person in general? I think so. I tend to be a lot more empathetic and sensitive to the feelings of others. The women in my life probably appreciate the fact that I do not act like the stereotypical male. (they don’t know) As for myself, dressing has given me a sense of peace and accomplishment with respect to growing my feminine side. I no longer experience the guilt and self loathing that I used to. I accepted and truly made friends with the woman staring back at me in the mirror. I love this part of myself instead of being confused about it.
I’d say yes. I believe I am more happy, I help the people I know more, I agree to listen to others more, I take better care of myself hun, I can cheer up people using female dialogue, I’m more careful with my nail, especially after getting a manicure and pedicure girlfriend. So I am glad I am a crossdresser that wants to evolve even more honey.
I think being in touch with my feminine side aka crossdressing does make me a better person. As much as I think my wife would disapprove of my crossdressing she loves my sensitivity and the fact that I like to cook and clean the house. There is no doubt in my mind that it has made me better person. It’s just a shame she wouldn’t appreciate me cleaning the house in a French maid outfit.
Hi girls,
I don’t think it has…I KNOW IT HAS!! I am a trans woman and dressing everyday has had such a positive effect upon my life that even my doctor and my cardiologist have noticed the difference.
At work, where I transitioned, my co workers say that I’m so much happier and full of joy that they can’t even remember who I was before.Big hugs girls,
Ms. Lauren M
Hi Fiona I can truthfully say yes just ask my wife ha ha .. Really we have discussed this as she says im more easier to talk to and be around especially if i had a bad rough day at work when i get home she suggests i go find Stephanie and calm down a lot .. When i dress as Stephanie my whole world changes for the better so thats a big yes girlfriend ..
Stephanie Bass
This question cuts me to the bone. The key word is tolerant, now that I’m the picked on minority. I never was opposed to different lifestyles but felt they should keep it behind closed doors. How dare I play God and pass judgement on what another person could do or not do! I am ashamed of the way I was and now try to live every day not just with tolerance but with kindness and understanding. Yes, you’re damm right it changed me I feel for the better. Thank you all sisters, I hope I have not offended.
Definitely… Cos when I’m in full on Caty mode, (As in right now, first time for “23).
I’ve had my fair share of mental health problems in the last 5-6 years, which in latter times means I dont cope well with any kind of stress.
As a therapist told me about a year ago, “Caty takes you to another place”. That place is one of calmness and feeling like she is an integral part of me and has been for decades.
Right now I’m away from home on an overnight charity business trip and it feels just right to be made up and dressed in my finest silk lingerie, with bra on and forms attached. I can smell my Estee Lauder “Beautiful” dusting powder and perfume and “everything seems right with the world”
It will be lovely sleep femme tonight, but then these days with me in my on room up the other end of the house and a DADT SO, I do that every night these days.
We CD/TS’s commonly have a strong feminine side and I know from lots of lovely experiences, that this has helped me make a number of wonderful female friends over the years. Purely platonic… But very, very deep in at least two instances, where I told them about Caty. They never batted an eyelid.
Sadly both ladies live a long way from me and these days, I dont travel outside Australia. So no more face to face catch ups.
Happy dressing
Caty.
Once at a funeral, I told a family member that I was a better person for having known the deceased (in this case her sister). I think that living as a woman has been a parallel to that experience. I don’t really see my self as a crossdresser but rather as an intersex person with a full time woman’s body and I dress accordingly. When I first accepted my intersex condition years ago and began to live authentically I thought that the whole experience might be an interesting experiment (I’m a trained scientist). However, it quickly evolved from a necessary lab approach into a unique rest of life experience. Knowing me (Marg) did make me better and hopefully make me able to pay it forward to others. In the time that I have known her she taught me skills and tolerance and compassion and joy and heartbreak and understanding and yet to know things. So yes Fiona, it has made me a better person. Thank you, Marg
Simple answer – yes!
I know this because my partner has told me so. Before I came out to her I had become (apparently!) very quiet, inward-looking and easily irritated. After I told her about my crossdressing needs and she welcomed this new ‘other’ me into her life, she noted that I am happier (obviously), more caring, more sharing (I was never one to talk easily about feelings in guy mode), loving and just generally nicer!
Good thing the ‘new me’ is here to stay 🙂
Crossdressing has given me a release from depression that has hung over me most of my life. In my alter ego I can focus on the present and not dwell upon regret and negativity of the past, and at the same time appreciate those things in my life which have been very positive. It has had a better effect on my overall outlook than all of the therapy I have had over the years. It clearly fills a void in my psyche!
I think I am a better person because I am a crossdresser than if I had been born without this feminine part of my brain. I’m more caring, empathetic, and loyal partner than I think I would have been otherwise. When I have tried to deny this part of me over the years, I have gotten anxious and irritable until I finally let myself be me. I then feel a calmness and joy that comes over me that makes me happy.
It’s taken most of my life to accept that I am a crossdresser and that it’s not a life style choice for me. I’m finally letting go of the guilt and shame although I still feel bad about making my wife have to deal with this part of me which is very difficult for her.
Well I’m not patting myself on the back but I was raised to be respectful, kind , caring and came from a loving family so I consider myself to be a pretty good person. As far as my crossdressing making me a better person I would have to say it makes me much happier which reflects in the way I treat others so yes I guess I’m a better person and I’ve learned to appreciate everyone in there own way. I don’t judge people for the way they present themselves or their beliefs but rather who they are.
Fiona –
As always an interesting question.
I would have to say that it has. First, I’m no longer hiding that part of me. I am only out to my wife, therapist and lovely ladies here, but I’m not keeping my feminine side under wraps anymore. By doing so I feel I am more aware of my feelings and getting in touch with m kinder, gentler self. My wife has commented a number of times that if I don’t have opportunities to dress that I get depressed and moody. I have discussed this with my therapist an she says it is normal to feel the way I do. It’s interesting because I dress for my sessions on occasion and I find they have a different feel to them. I think it makes it easier to discuss Suzanne and her role in my life when I present as her.
XOXO
SuzanneFirst congrats Fiona on your Ambassadorship!!!! Yes I do feel like crossdressing has made me a better person. Exploring my feminine side has made me more patient, more compassionate and relaxed. With that all said I haven’t shared my dressing with my wife ( my story in my bio) but hopefully will share soon which will make me even a better person! Once again congrats Fiona!!
Hi Fiona,
Yes! With regard to being open to different people of various backgrounds and it’s the overall spin off from MLK “it’s the content of their character, not the color of their skin” or dress and more. Pretty simple and helps me be open to the uniqueness of each person I meet and interact with.
XOXO
KarensaHi Fiona, well for me anyway, I’d have to consider it a sort of chicken and egg thing, have I always been trying to be a better person independently of cd-ing or has crossdressing (or being tg) encouraged me to be that way? I don’t think I would have been a ‘bad’ person if I never cross-dressed, maybe a little more depressed. But from early on, I’ve always had what some call sympathy pains for others. I’ve never liked to see anyone hurt either physically or emotionally, so I’ve always tried to act in a way that recognizes others have feelings and concerns and problems and sometimes want a little consideration from those around them. And maybe my tg feelings have helped me be a little more understanding of possibly some of the issues that others face, whether it’s being marginalized or looked down upon or shunned. Like competitions for instance, I don’t like to lose, but it’s obvious almost everyone else doesn’t like to lose either, so my winning means someone has some sorrow in losing and I don’t like that, so I shy away from things like that focusing on testing myself against what I think I’m capable of. That’s why I prefer casual sports like golf or alpine skiing, I’m out there having fun and not competing against anyone but how well I think I could be doing.
Hugs, ChloëC
Absolutely. My journey has included getting to know so many girls here on CDH. I have had my struggles but I am not unhappy with my birth gender. Before I started crossdressing. which led me to this community I had no idea how difficult it is for those who feel trapped in a gender they aren’t comfortable with. I have always considered myself very open-minded but it wasn’t until I became part of this community that I gained some level of understanding of the struggles faced by so many people every day of their lives.
When I first started crossdressing fairly regularly, a few times a month, I came to the conclusion that I must be, on some level, trans because why else would an otherwise heterosexual male love being feminine as much as I do. But then I started getting to know some lovely trans women here and reading about the difficulty they often face deciding to transition, the impact that will have on their lives and relationships, decisions about how far to take their transition, challenges caused by HRT, and physical transition, career issues…the list goes on. The fact that I have not had to make those decisions and deal with those challenges makes me feel that in a way it is disrespectful to truly trans women for me to call myself trans. I have not paid the dues required to part of that beautiful community.
To all who struggle, I love you and I hope you find a path to happiness! I have no answers for you but I’m always willing to listen and let you know that I care, lots of us here care…and you are beautiful!
💖💖Lola
It certainly has given me a different perspective about inclusion and intolerance. I have always been open minded and accepting of others with different view points, races, religions, sexual orientation, et al, or at least try to. Of course it is easy for a white, older male who has benefited from all that privilege, but once I accepted that am a CD, I realized I am now in one small way also part of one of the groups less tolerated by society. Of course it is relatively easy to hide my dressing by not dressing or undressing, so I don’t pretend to be as repressed as many groups, but I do get a better understanding of repression as a CD then I do as an old white guy.
I am more willing to stand up for the under dog, whom ever that might be.
I can say this. I do think about and see things differently now than many many moons ago. I am a life long crossdresser and over the years I do believe it’s made me a better person. See things from others point of view. Putting my self in their place, how would I react. If I have learned anything I’ve stride to make my wife’s life more sound, financial and in all other ways more secure. (I had more to say, but I cut it out as it might be seen as political.)
Five years or so ago a woman was promoted ahead of me to become the head the division. I really didn’t mind, I didn’t care for those duties as I enjoyed what mine were already. Soon enough all the guys would come up and blame me that “I was empowering her!” I told them, I was just supporting and helping her. I told them I didn’t want the job anyway. They were upset because a man didn’t get the job, and the new boss to them was a woman. It took several years and now they realize she was and is the right person for the job.Fiona-Ann, this is another great question!
For me the answer is definitely, unequivocally yes! There’s no doubt in my mind about that. I’m kinder, more tolerant, nicer, I listen more, I listen better, I care more about others, I don’t judge as quickly, etc. And all because I’m a crossdresser!
I could go on and on, but I know you’ve all seen different articles I’ve written, posts and polls I’ve put up, so I guess many of you have a pretty good idea of where I’m coming from.
Yes, being a crossdresser makes me a better person!
And how wonderful that is!
Hugs,
Holly
I’ve been dressing at home since I was 4. My mom and grandmother were OK with it and provided me with most of my clothes. But I was not allowed to dress openly in the house when my father, grandfather or when company was over. Looking back, I don’t think that made me a better person.
My next phase was buying my own clothes and wearing them out in public. I loved the experience, excitement and thrill of it, but leaving the house I had to underdress, wearing my pantyhose, short girls shorts under my long pants and my bra under my shirt. I would walk out to my car and drive to a nearby park. I would get my wig, shoes and breast forms out of the trunk, go back in the car, slide off my long pants and put on my shoes, put in my breastforms and put on my wig. Then I would spend the day out in femme mode, driving, walking around, doing some shopping and just loving the thrill, excitement and rush of wearing great, sexy clothes and being a girl. Since I was doing this while sneaking past my family, going out looking more like a sexy girl and less like me, I don’t think made me a better person.
Then at 18, I got my own place, got a lot of great, sexy clothes, began dressing often and freely and went out a lot. I began dressing for college parties. I often got a bit adventurous and flirtatious. I teased and let others do things to me I never would have tolerated or allowed in guy mode. But in femme mode it often was wonderful. Did that make me a better person? I think not.
My dressing was based on fantasies, dreams and wanting to wear wonderful clothes like pantyhose, heels, short shorts, have pretty hair and nice breasts. I wanted to experience being a sexy girl and showing myself off as one. I sought the thrill, excitement and rush of it all. Did any of that make me a better person? I don’t think so.
No I do not. In some cases I see that it has set me back. I get carried away with time and before I know it the PINK FOG has wasted a few hours and I fall behind. I do think it relaxes me sometimes and I enjoy dressing as often as I can but, I do feel like its a distraction some times.
Since my earliest memory of my crossdressing is from my early childhood, can’t really tell if I could have become a better or a worse person without it.
However, I can tell with certainty that what has made me a much better person was being able to accept my crossdressing as a very important part of who I am. And that acceptance brought along the need to stop separating the “masculine” and “feminine” sides of me and integrating them in a better, much more balanced and healthier persona.
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