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  • #723782
    Caty Ryan
    Registered On: August 27, 2017
    Topics: 133
    Replies: 1262
    Has thanked: 11 times
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    Thanks to everyone for their kind thanks and posts about this topic.

    I forgot to include one important factor and that’s what I term my “male underwear guilt trip”.

    If as I stated I/we spend a lot of time maintaining our femme lives “in secret” with femme laundry at the top of the list, it follows that if we did not put out some male “socks and jocks”, (US trans “tighty whities), “questions are sure to be asked in the house”.

    Thus for at least the last two years my wonderful beloved has been washing already clean “socks and jocks”. I’d love to tell her not to bother, but we all know where, in a DADT household, where that leads to.

    Anyone else have the same “guilts” or have any comments.??

    And no, I doubt very much “having the talk”


    Happy dressing (and washing when you can!)



    would be of any help

Viewing 10 reply threads
  • Author
    • #725201
      Lisa Leigh
      Registered On: April 20, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 278
      Has thanked: 896 times
      Been thanked: 1318 times

      Caty, I do know the feeling. Even though I have a DADT relationship with the SO, I wash my own. Woolite in the bathroom sink, then air dry them out of sight. Recently our washer dryer died after 25+ years of service and couldn’t be repaired. So we bought a new set, unfortunately it has Wi-Fi and she knows when even it’s in use. If I use it, her phone gets a notification! So washing my undies and other items are done on the QT in the bathroom sink, just like being back in the 1960’s!
      I do tend to underdress on most days. When I change for bed at night I remove my panties and replace then with boring male briefs. (I wear nylon basketball shorts to sleep in). In the morning I change back to my panties once again. I also tend to wear long shirts, which help to cover the back side. 90% of my panties are high waisted and black micro fiber as are most of my briefs, so it’s hard to tell unless she gets a good view of the material it self.

    • #724278
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
      Topics: 106
      Replies: 1232
      Has thanked: 820 times
      Been thanked: 3455 times

      Certainly a challenge;
      I wear panties (and today tights) and some form of femme undershirt/camisole. Women’s jeans (every day) hose or women’s socks, and some form of androgynous looking women’s shoes. Wife sees what’s on the outside and knows it.

      At night however I’ll change (late in the day) and put on a pair of men’s underwear. Although some of those are silky bikini style. Those go in the laundry, the rest (except for my jeans) go in my “private laundry” that I manage to get done.

      My SO is also a workaholic. Once she is at her desk and working (evenings, weekends, etc)., she’s near oblivious to what is going on around her. It’s a shame at times, but it also allows me to get “my” laundry done.


      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #724212
      Rachel Williams
      Registered On: November 3, 2019
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 180
      Has thanked: 601 times
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      Hi Cathy
      I can completely relate to this. As I mentioned in relation to your previous thread I am still totally still in the closet at home but regularly underdress with at least panties so I am very familiar with putting a pair of man briefs in the wash every day even though I may not have worn any that day although I normally try and wear them for a small part of the day to avoid them looking too straight out of the drawer.
      What I have done is to switch my men’s briefs to a set of assorted brightly coloured ones so that an accidental flash of colour will not create a ” femme under dressing alert “.

    • #723873
      Michelle McQueen
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 31
      Replies: 1882
      Has thanked: 14319 times
      Been thanked: 9526 times

      I’m lucky that my wife knows and I do my own laundry washing drab and fem things. I only wash a few bras at a time because I hang them up to dry and I don’t want the wife seeing how many I own. She has no idea I own 70 plus bras… lol… and I need more!

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #723872
      J J
      Registered On: September 13, 2019
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 679
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 2719 times

      DADT assumes she knows you dress, but doesn’t want to be part of it. If so, just do your femme laundry and leave the clean socks and underwear in the drawer where they belong.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #723867
      Coleen Edinburgh
      Registered On: November 27, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 64
      Has thanked: 555 times
      Been thanked: 275 times

      I am lucky I wear panties every day. My wife knows and when she washes clothes she will wash Coleen’s clothes at the same time. I receive a voucher from Next, M&S, Dorothy Perkins or Roman for both my birthday and xmas where I can buy additions to my Fem wardrobe

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #723853
      Emily Lace
      Registered On: February 26, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 188
      Has thanked: 1086 times
      Been thanked: 1165 times

      My wife knows I underdress so everything goes into the hamper as normal for me. I guess I am lucky on that standpoint.



    • #723819
      Jill Edina
      Registered On: January 28, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 48
      Has thanked: 81 times
      Been thanked: 211 times

      I recently did a self imposed 24/7 panties only for over a month and realized I also needed to put some clean male underwear in the laundry for show. It amazes me how us Crossdressers face many of the same dilemma’s.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #723803
      Suzanne Martin
      Registered On: January 8, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 466
      Has thanked: 1951 times
      Been thanked: 2025 times

      Caty –

      I can relate to this.  I do most of the laundry, but when it comes to Suzanne’s things I do that seperately when my wife is out of the house.  There was one time we had a discussion and I mentioned doing the laundry combined and she didn’t agree to that.  I’m fine with that and just wait for the opportunity to do Suzanne’s laundry.  I do underdress when at home and have gone out underdressed in panties a few times but when I go out of the house I wear my boxer briefs.  I do that mostly because we have an agreement to keep my dressing in the house.  There have been a couple occasions where I have been wearing panties under my sweats and we were going to go out to the store, I said I was going to get changed and she said there was no need to slo out I went wearing panties.  I don’t know if she knew I was wearing them or not but it felt good doing it.


      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #723802
      Christine Thomas
      Registered On: October 12, 2022
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 105
      Has thanked: 331 times
      Been thanked: 381 times

      I used to do exactly the same, but now my wife knows I underdress all the time and the kids have left home, no need to pretend with the laundry. It is so liberating to not to have to think about all the different ways of having to hid. I wish all the girls out there the same freedoms.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #723800
      Ashley Konners
      Registered On: August 15, 2020
      Topics: 45
      Replies: 768
      Has thanked: 2694 times
      Been thanked: 3856 times

      Hello Caty, I had to do the hide laundry very secretly for a year or so before I came out to my wife. The good thing I had going was I did most of the laundry anyway but every now and then she would put a load in but never said anything.  After I came out to her is when she mentioned the fact of “ oh … now I know why you do the laundry, so you can wash all your femme things.”  Even now when others are around and I’m folding the laundry I often wonder if they ever notice absolutely no boxers and 2 piles of panties in the basket , wives and mine.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
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