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I’ve been trying to find the opportunity to get our dressed for quite some time. Something always seems to get in the way, whether it’s work or family or simply fear keeping me from experiencing the outside world as Melanie. I was just wondering what percentage of cross dressers have been outside dressed? Feel free to share where you went and how it was. Thanks in advance.
Hiya! As a matter of fact I was out last nite to the market for weekly groceries and again this morning to the bakery and hardware store. I was en femme both times! The gals at the hardware store complimented me on my leopard print high heels….giggles….so fun! Hugs, Debbie Lynn
I am sure you looked lovely. ❤
I was able to spend 3 day En Fem at Crossroads earlier this year. Going shopping, restaurants, and even a casino. It was wonderful. I actually cried when I had to switch back to male.
I’ve been to art shows (the best time), shopping (the sales girls are fun), Ulta for a make over, lunches and dinners, drag shows and just in public. The thing I enjoy most is getting to talk with others. Go to a vintage clothing store. I’ve gone in to thrift stores and come out wearing the outfit I just purchased. If you’re having fun, so will others around you. If you’re shy and fearful others will pick up on that. Life is too short. Just have fun being who you want to be. I’ve never had a negative experience and met a lot of fun people. It’s always fun to go out with other cds.
Yes I have been two times this weekend ,1st time for walk around for maybe half /hour all dressed up ,2nd time went to the mall all dressed in everthing,everything, got my nail done bright pink ,next to dept store ,bought new bra and pantys ,then new bag ,and almost got my ears priced to expensive ,going out again, additive, Catherine
My first time was somewhat unplanned. I had scheduled a makeup lesson with a local makeup artist first thing in the morning. I wore an open back tank top, high waisted leggings, flip flops, a lace bralette, and matching panties. I did not wear a wig, nor did I wear my forms. I had only conversed with this woman once and I was her first CD client so I didn’t want to overwhelm her with appearance. My intentions were to go to a park afterwards and sit and enjoy the day dressed and madeup, but the weather didn’t cooperate and it was a rainy day. When I got to my vehicle I put on my wig and brushed it out. So I drove around afterwards enjoying myself, but eventually got bored. I spotted a Goodwill store and being fairly far from home I thought I could do it. I pulled in and sat in the parking lot for a long time. I put on my wedge sandals and steeled my nerves and went in. I know I was noticed as the place was busy, but I didn’t care. I poked around for a while and found a few things but the checkout line was long and I didn’t feel comfortable standing in it and possibly being engaged in conversation so I left. I had lunch in my car, goofed off on my phone until I realized I had to pee. I wasn’t in an area where I could go outside but the need was rising. I located a Target and knew they had family restrooms at the front of the store. Needing to go I matched in reached for the handle to the family restroom and it was in use! Okay in the ladies room I went….it wasn’t anything to be scared about as it turned out. I did my business, washed my hands and left the store and back to the safety of my vehicle.
I can’t wait to go out again!
I used to experiment with getting dressed and driving around my city in the evenings at first.
First time that I went out and interacted in public while dressed was a year ago.
My wife and I met another couple at a wine bar for the evening.
Since then, I go out when the mood strikes me, usually not here in the city where I live.
I go to San Jose and meet a GF for lunch most Wednesdays, I dress about 50% of the time.
I’ve also gone to the Desert Cross Roads event back in April where we were all out for 4 straight days en femme the entire time.
Get out there and have some fun, it’s like ripping off a band-aid. Once you do it, you’ll feel better.
XOXO
Rayna
I was lucky in that a gay friend and I went to a drag show en femme with over the top makeup but was an exciting time and felt completely at ease and enjoyed the attention. Aside from that memory I am out at least once a week now and at times more often for everyday shopping and errands. Over time I would think more than half of us girls are out but then again one can never know those that are fully closeted since I am meeting cds at events and they are out like me
Yes but the caveat is that I was in my vehicle rather than mingling in a crowd. Someday…
— Abbie 🥰
Hi Melanie,
It’s a no for me. I’ve had a few little drive arounds, with a nice top on and a bit of make up, and some neighbours have had the opportunity to see me gardening or taking out the recycling in a long skirt.
Good luck to those who’ve done that too, and felt ‘yippee’ about it, but somehow for me specifically, that doesn’t feel enough to count as being in public. Being out in public is engaging in public activity as a woman which I haven’t done. So I’m not there (hopefully I can add the word ‘yet’ to this sentence)
Marti xxx
Most of the time when I am Wendy, it is behind the wheel of our vehicle. I did do it twice, years ago, on foot. This was way before I did any makeup. I didn’t have the extensive wardrobe I do now, nor did I have the more realistic wigs/hips/butt padding.
One time a weird stalker parked behind our fence in the alley, and the the other time a car pulled up to drop someone off so I had to walk past them.
The most recent was a few weeks ago, had to go pick up my wife from her work. I was all dolled up, and I was contemplating whether or not to change back into drab mode before going. I decided YOLO. Mind you, most of the time in the past when I’ve driven as Wendy it was in the cover of darkness. This time, it was bright and sunny, and during rush hour traffic. So there would be lots of cars and people. There is one intersection that I stopped at due to a red light, cars all around, and I just kept focussed on driving safe.
The drive there and back went without any hitches.
been there done that many times. last week and this week been dressed but not out in public yet due to recent facial had done last Monday. But this Thrusday will have to get out in public for Dr followup
More times than I could count. I’d love to stay and tell you about some of them, but I’m about to get ready for a walk through my neighborhood (yes, en femme).
Enjoy your walk Alison
A few years ago my company started offering incentives for taking a certain number of steps each day that could be traded in for gift cards. I realized that on days I wasn’t in the office I wasn’t getting enough steps in, so I started to walk to get in steps. It didn’t take me long before I decided I could have fun doing it by walking en femme. So I have been walking almost every day I wasn’t in the office (except for a few days I couldn’t with the weather). I’d say I done this around 500 times.
But some other places I have been out, in no particular order: restaurants, parties, support groups, shopping in women’s clothing stores, grocery shopping or other errands (including having to return an item on two occasions) , museums, on Broadway in New York City, on public transportation, at the Renaissance Faire, in a hotel (once in a show, once for a party wearing a quinceanera gown), checking into/out of a hotel, CD/TG conference, plays in the park, long drives, a drag show, the beach. I’m sure I’m missing a few places, but this gives you an idea.
I’ve been out a few times in a skirt and blouse, legs nicely shaved, but no wig or makeup. I’m really not trying to pass as a woman, just enjoying femininity in my own way.
I’ve been out a few times but late at night when i went out for a drive in my car ,i just went for a drive a couple of times and came home then one night i drove to a small town near where i live parked up got out and did some window shopping ,I just walked up and down looking into the shop windows and there was no one around,
But about a month ago i actually went out one Saturday afternoon for a walk around my housing estate ,it was so nice just to get out en femme,
Hugs Roz X
Despite having the same obstacles; I’ve managed to get out in public dressed as a woman a few times. My outings have been to places where our community is accepted and welcomed.
The first was 7/27/19; I attended my CD/TG support group’s picnic at a secluded public park. The second was 6/11/20; I did my second trip to the crossdresser superstore Janet’s Closet. My most recent outing was 6/24/21 to an LGBTQAI?+ bar. Since then I’ve gone back three more times: 7/15, 7/22, and 8/19.
I’ve enjoyed each outing and each one has given my more confidence. If it wasn’t for the pre-mentioned obstacles, I’m sure I’d have more experiences than I do.
Hi Melanie. Yes I have. Clubs , restaurants, a casino. Shopping, a tanning/waxing salon. Actually a few of those. Hotel swimming pool, and the Beach. With most those happening last year. Checked off several of my bucket list items. Though I also added a few to the list. And very few negative interactions. Usually an odd look. Your chance will come. No need to rush it! Hugs Pru
I have been Lucky to be able to go out to pretty much every type of place I have wanted to go. Considering that my first time out presenting as a woman was back in 1998… it is a lot of places over the years.
CD/TG events, support group meetings, shopping, flew enfemme 3 times (Minneapolis/Boston/NYC; driving to Indianapolis/Atlanta/Nashville/Dallas, movies, theater, Symphony, Zoo, museums, nail salon, hair salon… etc etc.
And if I was able to do it, pretty much anybody can do it!Gabriela
I have gone out 3 times. 2 of them in the last 2 years. All the experiences have been good. The last time I went out I went to a bar and had drinks, went to CVS and 7-11. It was really a great experience.
I go out several times a week en-femme. Pretty much anytime going out where I’m not at work or with friends and family I’m not out to. My first time out, that wasn’t Halloween, was to go pick up a few things at a grocery store. In those normal cases I dress to blend in. Now I almost always wear a dress or skirt, but usually something casual. I’ve also done 2 vacations completely dressed.
Now, in general I’ve found that most people don’t give a shit about you, and even if they notice, just leave you alone. The only time, so far and knock on wood, that I’ve been clocked was by a mother and her several young children, likely 8 and below. They walked past me into Target as I was leaving, and one of the girls asked if I was a boy. The Mom was mortified, but I told her I prefer to be called Transgender in a nice voice and laughed a little. The girl of course said, “nooooo, you’re a boy” haha. From the mouths of babes. I of course had a knot in my stomach, but I can’t expect to completely pass and its just part of the transition for me 🤷♀️💁♀️😂
Heather
There are a lot of my accounts in the Personal Cross Dressing forum – so I won’t repeat them here!
Suffice to say I don’t call it “dressing in public”, I simply call it being Laura!
Love Laura
Lynda Jones (@lyndajones)
20 hours ago
Hi Lena, My first time out was to a Drag Bar, what a rush!! Every dress , Bras, shaper’s, panties, and tights all out and I spent hours trying all on. I picked suntan stockings matching Brown lace bra, panties and garter belt I spent 2 hr doing my makeup, red long wig, next a silver knee length wrap dress, best of all silver 4in heel sandals from 9West. Off to the Bar by 9:00 (I started getting ready at 5:00) Setting in the car trying to get the nerve to go in——-finally put on my big girl panties and off I went. Picked a table neat the stage and with no table service so off to the bar for a beer. The bar tender (you look great) YES success. Only the start of and awesome night, a brides party set down at the next table and 2 at my table. One of the girls grabbed me by arm and off to the dance floor. We danced until the show started. What a night never to be for gotten !!!!Hi Melanie. Over the years I have been out Dozens off times for I have a stepson who’s gay and he would take me to the gay places with him (no I’m not gay)but thay did make Amanda welcome so I got used to going out as Amanda with my stepson. Then one day I thought I’ve got to be a big brave girl and go out alone. For get my fear and go for it and I did. And once I was a few miles away I thought what was I so scared about I just kept driving all over the place at traffic lights 🚦 I just sat waiting with the rest of the traffic Acting normal by brushing some off my long blonde Hair away from my face. I look at the car on my right side gave them a smile as the lights went green and drove off. What I’m trying to say is it’s the fear alone stops us not the Actual doing it. Put your best dress on makeup 💄 Ect put your favourite song 🎵 on the car radio (loud )and just drive tell your self I’m one pretty lady out for a drive your be fine after a mile or two. Amanda xx
For myself like many here went months with just dressing in the house. Graduated slowly to walking outside to the garage in the middle of the night, latter increasing it to a couple of houses down the street.
Once I got my wig i got brave enough to go out for a drive, trying to sneak to the car and then out for a wonderful drive. It only took me a couple of months reading everyone’s story here and was able to move to going out wanting to be seen at a distance.
The BIG jump for me was to get my hair colored, a little over a year ago. Now a couple weeks ago I had my hair colored again and the following day had a mani/peti. I fact the color of my nails is such that I think I am getting away with leaving them as is while in drab at work .
Keep progressing. CassieI have been out many times, since going out my first time at a crossdressing event, almost 20 years ago. I was petrified that first time, but nothing happened. Over the years, I became a bit more comfortable with the help of a loving and accepting wife, but still only attended gay pride events and few costume events. While still employed full time, discretion was a necessity as my work environment was very conservative. I continued to stretch my boundaries by going out in places where I was not known, until I retired. Retired now, I go out at least two to three times a week, not specifically to for the purpose of going out, but to run an errand or do something that needs done, when I am dressed. As I became more comfortable venturing out while dressed, I began to wonder what was the point, since no one read me, or maybe even noticed. It was like I was invisible, or even if I wasn’t, no one cared, and it was a bit of a let down, as I felt I had accomplished something. I forgot to mention, that by this time in my life, I am eligible for senior citizen parking, and noticed that I looked like many of the other ladies my age, at the grocery store, and no one noticed them unless they got in the way. It is an interesting fact, that we come into this world, male and female looking pretty much the same, and it is appears to be similar on the other end of the age spectrum, so in some ways, I don’t stand out too much from the crowd and that is comforting,
That brings me to the more important reason for going out in public, and that is “Validation” of who who I am. The first time I was called “Ma’am” I had to look round to see who it was they referring to. Oh wow! It was me! How is that possible? Then, while entering a store, there is a young couple ahead of me, and the young woman prompts her husband or partner to hold the door for this lady. In some respects I had feelings of guilt about being deceptive, but then there is something so special about having arrived at a place where, not only am I able to pass, as t were, but to even be respected for my age and gender (even if only in my own mind).
I wish this was easy and I had some simple advice or answer to give hope to those wishing to be able to go out and enjoy themselves as whome they perceive themselves to be. I hope everyone gets to have an experience like mine.Over the years, I can remember three distinct times I went ‘out’ dressed. The first time, I was living in a large apartment complex, 2nd floor, around 10PM went down to the dumpster by the far side of the parking lot, the second time I was living in a two flat, upstairs, and came down the back stairs, got in my car and drove around, came back, and went back upstairs (the downstairs people were often quite nosy, btw).
The third time, I was living in my house out in the country a little (rest of family gone this and the previous two times) and drove about 20 miles to a post office where I had a generic box and had a number of fem items delivered, also around 10PM. Nobody in the lobby box area but after I picked up my package from a keyed package box, someone from the back room came out to see who (or what, who knows) I was. I left quickly.
If I had felt more confident about how I looked (which in no way I ever have), I might have not rushed so much each of those times. I think having a load of confidence can allow for some smaller but still obvious appearance issues. I just felt I had too many. But just my opinion.
I’ve also been outside of the houses I’ve lived in a number of times (too many to count), dressed, in and around the yard, pool, deck, etc., but I don’t consider that ‘out’ as suggested by the question.
My forays “out” as a woman sound similar to yours. I have ventured out onto my very wide driveway with pedestrians on the street in broad daylight (the “pandemic” mask, ironically, is what gave me the courage. I was wearing my “office lady” outfit and many people were working remotely from informal offices frequently in surburbia, so nobody looked twice)!
Other than that, it’s been brief excursions out into the yard, whether to take out the rubbish bin or get the mail.
I have never (or not yet) appeared en femme in a regular social setting.
Hi
Yes, been out twice but only to a park in a small town not far from me, but it got my feet wet and to be honest the nerves were not that bad.
I do realise I need to slow down and not move at a man’s pace and this is something I will continue to work on.
School holidays are coming up and if I can offload the kids again I will go out again. This time I am thinking of going to a shopping mall as masks are now required at all indoor spaces so might make it easier.
Sarah
I remember the first time I went out en femme and how nervous I was. However, with each time I went out I gained more and more self confidence with my dressing. That was many years ago and my self confidence still builds today each time I go out.<br style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-family: ‘open sans’; font-size: 14px;” />Personally for me I believe that self confidence is key and the more confidence you have the more you will want to go out. Please make sure that when you go out it is to a safe environment and that you feel comfortable there.
Ty Jojo. Target or the mall should be safe enough I figure. Stares aren’t hazardous to physical safety I hope so I’ll be ok . Lol. Being in public is just something I need to do and based on the results so far most of us have been there done that so we shall see how it goes. Thanks for your comments.
Yes on some occasions couple of times with an ex girlfriend and a bunch of times by my self. Doing every thing from talking a walk to riding around haven’t even gone as far as your recently actually going into a couple of stores now that was nerve wracking ng but it was fun as well. My favorite store to go is the same boutique that I walked into when I was only 16 years old scared to death looking to buy breast forms and a garter belt. I was scared to death and trying to make up an excuse as to why I was buying these things she’s saw right through it now when I go in there I go in fully dressed with arms and she takes me around and we pick things out she makes sure that we put together the perfect and then you just sit and chat.
Yes I have. many times. Started going out when I was 17. I love it. I feel it’s the ultimate crossdresser experience. it is euphoric exciting and thrilling beyond imagination. But it also very scary. In all honestly, for maybe 100 times I’ve been out, I chickened out 2000 times.
So many times I was dressed, ready to go and all excited about where I was going to go and what I was going to do. Then fear set in and stopped me. Even when I do eventually go out, it is pushing through lots of fear, and only because in some cases, desire becomes stronger. I also find I was much bolder in my teens and early twenties.
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Going out starts with small steps…taking the trash out, walking the driveway at night or maybe a short drive. But when you finally really go out in public it is both exciting and scary! You feel like everyone is watching you and all your fears bubble up. After that first time the fears start to go away and your confidence starts to build. You realize everyone is too busy in their own lives to notice anything.
My first real outing was going to the Post Office one late evening thinking no one would be there. To my surprise there were plenty of people there so I sat in my car frozen. But finally said to myself I have as much right as they do so I got out and walked in. After that I started going shopping, movies and places to eat. I have driven ling distances dressed and use the women’s toilets with no issues. Even if I’m not completely dressed my clothing is feminine and I enjoy wearing them. So go out and feel free to live your life.
Sandy
Really only once out in public. Was traveling through wyoming and was wearing pink leggings, bikini panties (pantie lines obvious) padded bra, floral blouse and had my finger and toenails painted cherry red wearing toeless sandals and bit of mascara. Visited some stores to do some shopping for the trip. Lots of stares but no comments. Brave or stupid not sure, a bit dangerous in this location but very exciting and liberating
Last nite I was wearing a skirt, sweater and heels. I put on a wig, lipstick, and eyelashes. I drove to a local gas station for gas.I’m getting to the point where I don’t care what people think when I’m out dressed.
Kerri
Yes, twice and both times were pre-pandemic. Since then, I have not been able to venture out but will as soon as practical.
The first time, I was travelling and managed to pack all of my girl stuff. After scouting potential places to go, I decided to visit a gay bar that was featuring drag queens on weekend nights. Other than feeling woefully “under-dressed in comparison to the queens, I felt very comfortable and enjoyed the evening.
My second time out was in the company of a woman friend who thought it fun to dress as a man. I am fairly sure that no one in the restaurant was fooled, but we had fun anyway.
Can’t wait to dress again and venture out especially if with a few of my CD sisters.
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