This topic contains 28 replies, has 23 voices, and was last updated by  Lucinda Hawkns 3 weeks, 3 days ago.

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  • #3786

    Vanessa Law
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    Registered On: April 19, 2012
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    Ahh, the age old question – do you tell your wife about crossdressing?
    Back many years ago before I married I shared my secret – https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/how-to-tell-your-wife-you-crossdress/

    As daunting as this is, after I transitioned I realized that it’s far more difficult to tell your date about your past 🙂

    Have you shared with your wife that you crossdress?

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  • #79056
     Lucinda Hawkns 
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    Registered On: September 1, 2015
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    wow had trouble getting on this morning. i thought i posted a answer on this question.   but yes wife knows and daughter might know of me wearing a bra, daughter seen a pic of me fully dressed up and showed mom, from there it was out, but i dress up in private when 2 adults kids are not home and have my fem time, wife will tell me i can do what i like to do. i am already there and loving it, but she will not see me but she has seen me more and more. but will not help with make up or sit and talk like 2 woman and ask me how i feel as a female dressed up. wife knows of my dresses, bras, nylons, make up, perfume, ear rings, heels, pads, wig skirts, blouses. i have more female cloths then she odes, i even took over her dresses for she cant fir into them any more, or even wear them, so i will

    #79055
     Lucinda Hawkns 
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    Registered On: September 1, 2015
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    my wife found out one day when i took a pic of my self and forgot to put it away, daughter seen it showed mom. that was it. daughter might know i dress up, but i know my wife does for sure for she has seen me dress up, seen my dresses, nylons, bras, panties, pads, perfume ear rings. make up.  she lets me dress up when 2 adult kids are not home and i have a great time, but can share it with wife and sit and talk like 2 woman. ask me how i fill dressed up, why i dress up. for starters, she dont dress up any more like a real female unless we are going out for a wedding or dinner, i dress up more then she does and even under dress just about every day. would love to come out of the closet and dress up and be the real me but like Hanna McKnight wrote its all true. have to check her site out and read her posts.

    #79019
     kaydee 
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    Registered On: December 12, 2017
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    Hi ladies,

    I came out  to my wife before we were married, to be honest I don’t think either of us knew what would happen. Now after 30+ years she buys me stuff always asks if I want anything when she goes shopping, all I can say to you all is if you do tell your SO be honest to them and don’t push the subject, tell them your hopes and dreams but most of all keep communicating.

    If there are any partners out there who would like to chat with me or have questions please do not hesitate to get in touch. And most of all enjoy your journey of discovery.

    seasons greetings to all hugs and kisses kate

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    #78984
     Giselle Reeves 
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    Registered On: September 27, 2017
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    i came out to my wife almost 7 years ago, and after we nearly divorced over it she has become tolerant and at times almost supportive. one thing anyone thinking of “coming out” should know is that your marriage will never be the same and your wife’s trust will be gone and probably never return to where it was. also in my case our sex life no longer exists, so all i can say is thank twice, thrice and many more times before you have the talk.

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    #76005
     Maggie 
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    Registered On: November 26, 2017
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    I came out to my wife on October 20th. I couldn’t take it any more. She is a wonderful person with an open mind. She went through the usual questions before I could spit it totally out, are you having an affair? Are you gay? And I just had to blurt it out “I like to wear women’s clothes and always have!” She is very understanding and trying to accept. I have not pushed and we only have talked about it three time since the last two months. I know I have to take it slowly, but having told her is a great relief and weight removed. I no longer feel guilty, or like I am committing some crime. I feel good about this gift of femininity, for the first time truly good about it! I can relax I have been branching out and have found you ladies!

    Iloveit

    #71235
     Lucinda Hawkns 
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    Registered On: September 1, 2015
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    yes i have but will not go any further then dressing up when kids are not home and she will not help or see me dressed up, but she has seen me but will not let me sit in same room and talk like 2 females. she knows i have my own dresses,. make up, perfume, ear rings, nylons, panties, bras, and even pads.  she lets me dress up but only when the 2 adult kids are not home and not see me. i have to dress in basement or my bed room and have her not see me. but what gets me is that she sneaks in to see me dressed up.   she has seen me 1 time when i was getting dressed up and it did not bother her? then why cant i sit in same room as her and talk like 2 females and ask me how i feel dressed as a female, i am a different person when dressed up as a female for you have too in order to look and pass as a female. i feel more relaxed and less depressed.    so for coming out to wife i did but later in the marriage.

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    #71234
     Holly Close 
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    Registered On: October 20, 2017
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    I have told my current wife and while she “doesn’t get it” she is at least a little accepting about it. She has no desire to see me dressed and has trouble talking about it at all.

    I do not mind one bit that she it’s less than eager though because my first wife was an absolute horror story when I told her. After a nasty divorce, emotional and physical abuse, threatening to take our son away from me, and lots of time she has become almost tolerable towards me. She holds it over my head and uses my fear against me, still but for the time being she doesn’t shout slander from the rooftops.

    So long story short, tell your wife; she may leave you and I’m sorry about that, but she may be accepting and no marriage should be based on lies. I realize how frightening it can be especially if you have had terrible experiences as I have in the past. I truly believe if they love you with all their heart they will stay. If they do leave take a piece of advice from me and don’t be bitter or berate them for it, relationships are hard and a lot of work but being unhappy and married is much worse than true to yourself and divorced.

    Who knows you may end up like lucky little me and have a second chance at being yourself and happy ☺

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    #61977
     Charlotte Deneice Windham 
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    Registered On: August 25, 2015
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    SexyI told my wife that I crossdressed because it made me feel good. That I loved women so much I loved to emulate them. She told me she already had seen bras under my white shirts with a tie on, and she didn’t mind. She told me she came home one day, and their I as laying in bed asleep with a bra,panties,stockings,high heels, wig,and makeup ones she decided not to wake me up, but she toke photos of me to show her girlfriends, and co-workers. I wondered why some of her male, and female co-workers came home to meet me. Then when I had told her that overtime we went to a costume party that she wanted me to dress like a hooker,witch,nurse,or just plain woman. Then she took me, and had my ears pierced, and wanted me to get breast Implants. Now I wear my hair longhand cut in a feminine style. What a joy. Now she wants me to have my male part cut offhand redone as a vagina.

    I am a male to female pre-op transgender transsexual woman. I wear anything feminine including bras,panties,stockings,high heels,dresses,mini-skirts,blouses,corsets,gaffs,waist cancers,pierced earrings,makeup,feminine jewelry,wigs,and more.

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    #61421
     Lindi 
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    Registered On: July 21, 2017
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    No I haven’t told my wife yet, but will do so in September.  I stopped my CD when we married, as I didn’t want to lose her. After 15 years of gradually becoming sadder and madder, I started dressing again in March of this year.  At this time I have to be honest with her, as I want to take this further than an hour in the basement a couple days of the week.  Am I afraid of losing her, very much so; but I can’t go back to being a semi-depressed person again.  I haven’t been this happy in 15 years, and people are starting to notice that I’m not Mr. glum all of the time.  If you can’t be happy, what’s the point?

    #61037
     Sandrajane Smith 
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    Registered On: July 22, 2017
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    I really can’t tell my wife she would proberly leave me she has caught me in the past wearing a bra and panties she almost left then so not now I dress when home alone and hope I don’t get caught again

    Come dress with me

    #60008
     Lucinda Hawkns 
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    Registered On: September 1, 2015
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    my wife found out a few years ago, will let me dress up when no one is home as in kids, tells me when i can do what i like to do.  that is dress up. she has seen me a few times unexpected and some times where i just let her see me all dolled up. i buy my own dresses, skirts, nylons, bras, panties, and yes even pads, make up, perfume, jewelry. i seem to have more female clothing then she does. does  she help NO. but comes to my room and tells me i have too much perfume on and looks to see what i am wearing, i am fully dressed up pretty in a dress and make up and wig and ear rings and lip stick, she  knows and lets me dress up but will not help with make up or let me sit in same room with her and talk like 2 woman and get to know my fem side.                    when i am dressed up as a female i am female mode and not male mode, i am Lucinda and having a great time as her, plus it is a stress release and depression and helps with my panic attacks.    will she believe me if i told her about how i feel, y i  dress up. i have the answer for them all but she will not believe me.    but as long as she lets me dress up i will not push the issue.   thanks for reading my post

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    #55774
     CindyNorstrom 
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    Registered On: February 11, 2017
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    Hello, I’m Cindy And have a brother that xd’s and he found it easier to tell me about his dressing than my the family. You should tell your daughter sometime when you out alone. The kids today understand more about transgender than the adults do and kids are more understanding. I see it everyday more and more kids are sticking up for transgenders than before. And today the lifestyle is more out in public than before. My brother dresses as a girl everyday today even out in public he wears those ripped skinny jeans like the kids do today with flats and cotton tops. I mean anyone can wear what they want so you should have be able to have fun wearing what you want.

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    #55702
     Julie Glassworks 
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    Registered On: May 24, 2017
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    Oh Rose, your ‘family tale’ rings familiar to me – all except the actually telling part…
    I am quite femme in general and consider myself ‘one of the girls’ in my family of wife and two daughters – just in silly male clothes.
    my younger daughter (an avid studier of gender) is always bringing up topics (‘what pronoun do you prefer, papa?’ ‘would you ever wear a dress?’ etc ) to which I answer completely honestly. but does she, or my wife, know just how honest I am being?
    hopefully soon I can be honestly honest, but I am taking it slowly…

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    #46175
     Jeri S 
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    Registered On: March 2, 2017
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    I have recently told my wife that I am a crossdresser.  Just for background, i wore pantyhose with her while we dated a couple of times as a part of foreplay but passed it off as a fetish.  After about 12 years of marriage she found a couple of items including a bra and a book.  I admitted that they were mine told her I enjoyed the feel but allowed her to believe that it was more sexual.  Fast forward 10 years, I finally admitted that dressing is just part of me.  It is not about sex, it is about me.  I enjoy my manhood and don’t want to change it.  I also enjoy the feel of ladies underwear, the look and fit of the dresses, skirts, leggings, sweaters, blouses, etc.  I occasionally wear undergarments beneath my male clothes.

    She was not happy.  She doesn’t want her husband wearing women’s clothes.  She doesn’t want me communicating with others who dress.  Now she is ok with me talking to a therapist who can help me understand where this comes from and cure me of this.  That is not an option for me.  So at this point we are trying to live our through this.  I don’t know where the road leads but at least now she knows that I am dealing with dressing and how it impacts us and our family.

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    #45840
     Jenny 
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    Registered On: January 5, 2017
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    So as of today 2-27-17 its been three weeks since i sat and talked with my wife.
    I had wrote out everything I wanted to say to her and all of my fears and hopes and dreams and the past as how things became to be today. Me a cross dresser.

    I am please and know i have a good wife,she accept it but doesn’t always wanted to see it and never in front of the kids. She also doesnt want me to go out dressed. But i am hopefull maybe next year around this ti.e, it will have given her enough time to come around. Also me enough time to learn make up and how to pass ok
    There are some women that love is more then skin deep and it doesnt matter how we xress ourself love is still there.

    So I haven’t told her yet that I am a CD , perhaps she knows something is up. See a very long time ago she found pictures of me fully dressed on our computer. First thing she did was freaked out and shared them with our closest friend and his wife. She was worried and sacred. I freaked out thought I was going to be outed, it was a rough few days. I even left home for a day to give her space. It was hard but I managed to get them all to believe that I photo shopped my face o to someone else. I was so scared that I was going to lose everything in my life!! I PURGED ! AND for ten years I only dressed a few times whe. She was out for the day. And suppress all urges for a long time. ……… ……
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Now the last 6 months I have been reading these adult story’s with her to help improve sex life, they worked and they are great way to test the waters so- to speak to see what she is Willing to understand and to explore or accept. ….</p>
    I made sure we read ones with men being dressed up in wife panties, and lingerie and undergarments of that type. A few times she didn’t want to read them or she made rude type of comets, but eventually things changed, or should I say her thoughts and feelings on that type of behavior. I tried lite SM made her my mistress and got her to let me wear her panties, while she had me clean the house and do dishes. I was happy just to wear panties with her knowing. This went on for a few months, she even bought me a few pairs I was like ok great, but inside my head I was like OMG LOVING IT! I was even able to get her to let me wear o e of her black satin Teddy with the red trim around the breast cup area. I was in heaven. But this has now fully awaken the long thought dead cross dresser within me, my female side is fighting to be out more and more, it’s like a new awakening!

    I have shown her my CD side somewhat more and more, but am so afraid to just come out and say it to her, and yet I feel she might be OK with it somewhat. For now I will leave it in the hands of fate to see what will happen. I like most here do not wish to lose the ones we love to just satisfied my urges.😭😊 but that’s my story thanks for reading.

    Jenny

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