Have you come out to your wife? Do you plan to?

This topic contains 48 replies, has 39 voices, and was last updated by  Stef Smith 3 weeks ago.

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  • #114014
     Stef Smith 
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    Registered On: April 24, 2017
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    One thing is for sure

    this feeling will not go away

    i believe that the itch has to be scratched

    if it is surpressed it will come out in secret or another way

    i think the best for SOs is to accept this side of us either participating or allowing is to have time to do it by ourselves

    #111453
     Lynnette James 
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    When I was approximately 9 years old my babysitter of the day thought it would be ‘fun’ to dress me up in her little sister’s clothes.  My parents were both very involved in their jobs and never seemed to have time for me, so when someone wanted to share their time I was a willing participant.  I loved it!  This became a routine whenever she watched me, and it escalated to full makeup and wig.   This was back in the 70’s so digital cameras didn’t exist but Polaroids did.

    As I got older and no longer needed a sitter, I found that I missed these sessions and started to raid my mother’s lingerie drawer, or my girl cousin’s.  I started to have quite the panty collection, but they were ‘boring’ being either Mom style or cotton early teen girl starter style.  Once when on holidays we stayed in a condo that had a downstairs laundry and I raided the dryer.  I came away with 3 of the old Dici style bras and several satin panties a couple of which were sexy!!

    As the years progressed, I found that I enjoyed the feel, and naughtiness of wearing women’s clothing.  I was limited to undergarments, bathing suits and nighties.   When I first moved out with 2 friends, I got laid off from my job, and was on unemployment insurance.  I would lay out in our semi private backyard in my 2 piece bikini and get some sun (I would go topless so as not to draw attention to my funny tan lines).  I was almost caught by one of my roommates who came home from work unexpectedly early, just managing to run up stairs in my itty bitty bikini as he came in the front door!

    I went back to school moving to another city, and got a apartment of my own.  Now I was able to freely wear whatever I wanted and my wardrobe really started to grow.  I met a girl one night at the local pub who was with her friend.  We went back to my place and I discovered that her friend was in fact her boyfriend who was a avid crossdresser.  I think this was the very first time I remember hearing the term, and actually seeing someone other than myself dressed up.  The 3 of us had a interesting night of passion, and I confided in them my secret love of clothes.  We had several more encounters over the next few months, going as far as them making me up fully as a woman and the 3 of us hitting the club.  I was not near as passable as he was, but it was a awesome time all the same.

    When I met my wife (32 yrs ago) I told her about my love of wearing panties.  She bought me a pair of black satin ones for Christmas that year.  As time went on, I was wearing panties full time and dressing in private without her knowledge.  When she would go out I would put the kids to bed and dress (always keeping a eye on the time).  I worked out of town a lot in the early days so it was easy to have ‘me’ time.  However I wanted to tell her how much more I was into this than just wearing panties everyday.

    One evening I finally said that we should talk, and I told her about bras, teddies, camisoles, pantyhose, garters etc that I enjoyed wearing.  I also told her that I love to wear nighties to bed.  She was taken back but accepted me for who I am.  I told her about my past and being dressed up and enjoying it.  I have no interest in being dressed in public, but told her that I want to have the freedom in my own home.  She said she needed time to process this and not to push her on it.  I came home from work one day and she called me into the bedroom and showed me that she had cleared out a drawer so I would have a place for my lingerie and nighties.  She asked that I be discrete with what I am wearing, paying attention to strap bumps etc under a t-shirt.  I assured her that I have always been and will continue to do so.   This occurred over 4 years ago, and we are still happily married, just celebrated 30 years.  We have made love with me wearing any one of my nighties, and she has no issues with doing my laundry (even when it has my girl clothes in it).

    Just recently we were in Las Vegas wondering around one of the tourist shops looking at the cheap bikinis they had on sale.  We both agreed that when we finally have our own private backyard pool that we will get matching sets of these!  She suggested that in the interim I buy a pair of short cotton ‘girl shorts’, with some Vegas bling on them, to wear when we are out walking on Freemont St.

    I am very lucky to have such a understanding woman in my life, and we have talked about ‘my secrets’ many times.  Patience is the best advice, don’t rush them and force the issue otherwise you will lose them.  If they really love you then they will come around.

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    #109891
     rebekka moore 
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    Registered On: January 7, 2017
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    My wife had asked me if I would want to talk to someone about my dressing desires.  I could I suppose but I’m not sure what would happen.  I’d just be regurgitating my story about how I like to dress, it feels good, sexy and I have a sickness that needs to be “cured”.  I think maybe she would benefit from talking to someone, and gain a better understanding of this “condition” I have.  Don’t think that will happen however.

    🙂

    #109852
     Stefanie Oosthuizen 
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    Registered On: March 26, 2018
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    Hi all. Yes my wife knows about Stefanie although I did not name her until recently. We have had our bad days and good days. I purged myself a couple of times saw a counsellor but thet was a waste of money. I have been with my wife for 33 years now. Lately she has been helping me buy make up and clothes. I wanted to make love to her as Stefanie but she refused. I would sleep next to her in a bra panty and nitie. So I want looking outside and found a woman that was prepared to have sex with me like a lesbian. My wife found out and yes I was out. Got a flat and went absolutely mad with being Stefanie. Got new lingerie shoes make up clothes wigs. Six weeks later she says honey come home I miss you. While in the flat she asked me to send her photos of Stefanie even made videos for her. This was a first because I did not know that she would like it. So I moved back home and yes I am now waiting for the next move to happen. I must say she knew from day one that I was wearing pantys but thought nothing of it. I am thankfull to have such an amazing woman as my wife.

     

    Regards

    Stefanie

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    #109826
     CindyNorstrom 
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    Registered On: February 11, 2017
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    Bobby grew up wearing my clothes, but at an early age he started sneaking mine and my mom’s clothes and trying them on. Every time we caught him, we would punish him by taking things he like away for a few days so as to teach him not to wear our clothes. But he was persistent and just kept wearing our stuff. My mom finally caught him one day and dresed him up in petticoats and a dress and told him he would wear it all day and at the end of the day he still wanted to keep wearing it, so my mom let him wear a few of my older  night gowns to bed and dresses around the house. That started him wanting more so he finally was dressing all the time during the summer. I guess being persistent helped him with his dressing. SO maybe doing the same thing around your spouse maybe the way to let her know how much you like it and maybe some will come around. But I think it would be better to tell them before you are married that way they can a just to it slowly and not all at once.

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    #109789
     rebekka moore 
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    Registered On: January 7, 2017
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    Good Morning/Day Girls;

    Early in our relationship I was at a point where I was going to tell my wife, then she dropped a bombshell on me.  I don’t recall how the topic came up, but she confided in me how her first husband liked to wear panties and panty hose, and how put off she was by that.  She said she tried to go along, but it just did not work.  I was shocked, and went deeper into hiding.

    Here I was working up the courage to let her know this, and then this came out.  I was truly in dis-belief!

    Many years have passed and I finally confided in her about my dressing.  Needless to say she was shocked too, and I think questioned herself and why she might attract this sort of person.  Still together and more recently I started dressing more and more, exclusively wearing women’s blue jeans.  I wear panties on the weekend, and camisoles if possible.  I’m certain she has noticed the jeans, and more recently I’ve started wearing capri length (women’s) jeans, and very tight skinny jeans.  She’s not said much although this morning she had an interesting comment, noting how “cute” I looked.  (Capri jeans, (male) shirt and sneakers).  She of course cannot see the panties underneath.  I hate “hiding”, and I go out in public dressed this way, but don’t know what else to do.  I’m a mature male, and I’m just doing what feels good to me.  I also wear women’s boots (booties/short boots), and just bought a great pair of women’s shoes, that I can’t wait to wear out!  But that comes with challenges as well, as I’ll need to wear some form of nylons (panty hose, thigh highs, knee highs or the little bootie stockings), with them.  That will really cause a reaction, not only from my wife, but from others as well.

    It is a challenge.

    #109264
     RandiL 
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    I came out to my wife about a year and a half ago. I mismanaged some interactions where I didn’t warn her in advance about putting on some femme clothes, and I also violated her trust by inviting a trans woman friend who was traveling to spend the night (no, nothing improper, just offering shelter to a friend). Now my wife doesn’t trust me, and we are struggling to figure it out.

    I’d say put on your best empathic and emotive behaviors and stay closely in touch with her feelings. Even so, you will have to give her a lot of space and time.

    #108369
     Penny Allan 
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    Registered On: July 20, 2018
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    Yes. She allows me to “dress” for bed. If I am with her during the day, she will call my female attire – pajamas

    #108103
     Gina Pratt 
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    Registered On: June 26, 2018
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    I don’t recommend doing it on your anniversary.  Your anniversary is about you and your wife’s relationship.  Let that be special to just that event.  That’s just my humble opinion.

    #107924
     MacKenzie Alexandra 
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    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Anatolijus,</p>
    I would advise against using such a special day. Your Anniversary should be a day of positive memories. Now I know that positive outcome is possible, but a negative outcome is just as possible. That is just my two cents.

    MacKenzie Alexandra

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    #107859
     Anonymous
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    Hi everyone I’m new here so i start straight away I’m planninmy to tell my wife that I like to wear woman’s cloth and i thinking to do it on our 10 years anniversary dinner. What do you think is it worth it to do it on day like these.

    #106132
     Gina Pratt 
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    I started dressing slowly at age 7 or 8 (more from curiosity) but progressed to outright buying and wearing lingerie at 17 and 18 (but no outer clothes) but pretty much stopped when I got married.  Although I snuck in a few wearing experiences, it wasn’t until 10 years into the marriage when I needed more.  I convinced her to role play where I could dress in her presence.  Oh my, that was heaven but she didn’t care for it.  But she knew that I liked it so it progressed until I was wearing them almost 4-5 times a week and then she confronted me.  She told me she didn’t like it and said that it seems that it seems that we can’t be intimate without the clothes and that it hurt her feelings.  Ugh… I felt horrible because that wasn’t it at all.. it was just that I felt better in the women’s clothes.  I love women and love my wife so I opened up.  I told her I loved women’s clothes and that it made me feel better.  It still didn’t go well and we sort of left it that I can only dress periodically and mostly not in her presence.  Well, after 10 years of that, I couldn’t hide my dressing any longer and told her that I really wanted to dress.  She reluctantly agreed to let me do it more but still insisted that she didn’t want to see me fully dressed.  So I did it… but hidden from her.  About four years ago, we had a big argument (really about something else) and she brought out my dressing.  Again, I told her it made me happy and that I prefer women’s clothes.  She realized that dressing really makes me happy and that is when she accepted it.  So, for the past four years, I have literally bought about 40-50 pairs of women’s shoes (mostly heels), about 20 dresses, two good quality wigs (on top of the 4-5 not-so-quality ones), lots of makeup and practice, and many more clothes (enough for a full dresser full and three feet of closet space).  She allows me to dress in her presence sometimes but still has some apprehension since she doesn’t really buy me things and doesn’t compliment my look (no encouraging remarks so-to-speak).  So it is still a work in progress.  It is tough but I’m so much happier that I don’t have to hide it from her and she knows that my arousal is all about her and not the clothes or any fantasies.  Anyways, I hope that helped.

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    #101318
     Margarita Gaitan 
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    Personally, the female—common law married to found out during a family holiday dinner, a relative got drunk and told about the cross dressing, humiliated we left during a barrage of insults and slurs. She said she didn’t care, deep down she did but she wanted to leave Colombia and her family.

    #100092
     Vanessa Marie 
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    I can’t say that my wife and I have had a perfect relationship, but we’ve always had open communication. Two years after we got together, before we were married, she felt comfortable enough to open up about her sexuality. So when I came out to her as a CD, not only was she understanding, she was helpful. She helps buy my clothes and do my make up. Lately, we’ve been having girls’ days together as a bonding thing. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have this kind of relationship.

    #98560
     Anonymous
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    Yes I have. My wife is very supportive and we are the best of friends. We shop together, I prefer the privacy of our home when I dress up, do makeup.

    I am very lucky to have her as my wife and best friend. 😊

    For those who have not, I wish you the strength and courage to open up and truly be yourself.

    It is a scary thing, in the end you will be relieved. If your wife dosent understand, be understanding as well. Its a major change in both lives. Most importantly, dont force it.  That will make things worse.

    Ask her how does she feel about crossdressing.

    Women wear jeans and tshirts too, its crossdressing just the same.

    Plan a day to go shopping, let her know what you like. Dont be afraid to express a certain like of a style. Make the connection with her. She also has to understand, that this you, and you feel that this is also important to yourself.

    When I first started crossdressing, I was 5-6 years old. I always felt more comfortable being around the women in my family versus thr men.

    Some even thought I was gay, but not like a flamboyant, just a quiet guy who enjoyed listening to them.

    There was a time I thought I was, and experimented with it. Ultimately I prefer women.

    My wife knows this, I was up front about it. The more she knows the more she will understand.

     

     

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