Tagged: tell wife I crossdress
August 24, 2015 at 5:54 pm #3786
Registered On: April 19, 2012
Ahh, the age old question – do you tell your wife about crossdressing?
Back many years ago before I married I shared my secret – https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/how-to-tell-your-wife-you-crossdress/
As daunting as this is, after I transitioned I realized that it’s far more difficult to tell your date about your past 🙂
Have you shared with your wife that you crossdress?
- This topic was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by JaneS.
February 25, 2017 at 9:29 pm #45678Bobbi AnneParticipantOffline
Registered On: October 6, 2015
Years ago I tried to come out to my wife, but I did it the wrong way and played it off as an attempt to spice up our love life. I was shaving my body totally back then, as I was biking alot and told her it was better for wind resistance. She seemed ok with that at the time. One night, as we were trying all new things as we were both pretty inexperienced in the bedroom department, I put on one of her teddies, some light lipstick, curled my hair (I had it long enough to style a little back then), and a pair of her slingbacks with a 2″ heel. I wiggled my way into our bedroom, and surprised her that way. She got into it for the time being, but when we were done making love, she said she felt weird and didn’t want to do it again. Being only a couple of years into our marriage, I put it away as I didn’t want to lose her.
A few years later while I was going away often for one of the jobs I had, I started dressing again more and more this time. I would go to the local thrift stores and pick up whatever I could, and then go back to my hotel room and dress. I kept all of my purchases hidden from her, and I never left my hotel room dressed at that time. One day I slipped up and somehow dropped a pair of panties in my car that she saw, and she immediately thought I was cheating on her. I told her the truth, that they were mine and that I liked to dress as a woman sometimes, and she said she would forget all about it if I purged everything. I did and it was left alone for a few years.
I left that job and got a full time career job that didn’t travel at all, and we started to build our family with a child, trying for more. When my second child was born, my wife was forced to give up her job, and so in order to make ends meet, I picked up a second and then a third job. It was that third job that got me thinking about dressing again as it was a delivery job that went a few hours out of town one way, so after a while, I started picking up clothes, shoes, make up, wig, breast forms, and everything else I would need to look and feel like a woman. I was working that job for probably about 3 months when I started picking the things up I would need to be my femme self, and after probably another month, I had found a place near my last deliver where I could stop and dress for the ride home. The first couple of weeks I would only dress once a week for the ride, but as the weeks went by I started to dress more and more, eventually dressing every night for the ride home. Once I dropped off my paperwork at my employer (we used our own vehicles and the paperwork went into a dead drop facility), I would wash off my make up and change once I got into the beginning of my private driveway. This dressing went on for a few years, with me wanting to do more than just dress. I sped through my route a few times and went to a local club in my area that had drag shows late at night, and when there I met a few of the other gurls in my area. From there I made a Facebook page and posted a few photos of myself dressed, and that was where I made another mistake. One of my wife’s friends who has ties into the local LGBT scene stumbled across my femme page and showed my wife. Needless to say she wasn’t happy.
From there things quickly went south, we my wife demanding that I purge everything again (which I didn’t, I just put it into storage for a while) and to seek a counselor to “fix” me. I did see the counselor for a while, and things seemed to be working back out with my wife again. I stayed away from my storage box for probably a year before I couldn’t take it any more and had to dress again.
I told my wife we needed to talk, and when we sat down, I didn’t even get a chance to start talking before she started in on me about my dressing. Earlier that day, she found my stash of things (screw up number three), and took them all to a local dumpster and got rid of them. To say I was devastated was an understatement, and at that time she told me I could get out as she didn’t want to have me as a husband, friend, or acquaintance. I told her that I had no where to go, and seeing she is not totally heartless, she let me stay but I had to leave the bedroom.
That brings me to where I am today, sleeping on the couch, window shopping at Amazon, and trying to figure out how I will start to rebuild my feminine wardrobe again, and when will I be able to have enough money to find a place of my own. She knows that I can not stop now, but she still doesn’t want to have anything to do with it.
So, while my life of dressing hasn’t gone anywhere near where I hoped it would, there is light at the end of the tunnel for when I do get my own place and can dress as often as I would like.
Hugs to all,
Bobbi AnneFebruary 20, 2017 at 6:58 am #45053bigkitty2454ParticipantOffline
Registered On: February 11, 2017
Thats great to hear that your wife has left you do girlie things with her. Wearing anything feminine keeps the girl inside excited everyday. I was brought wearing dresses and was home schooled as a girl b/c the schools wouldn’t except a boy wearing dresses. Anyways I wear lingerie 24/7 today. Dont own any guy clothing at all, but I’m not in a dress when out in public. I wear girls skinny jeans and cotton tops with ankle boots or flats. I have long hair so I keep it styled like a girl and dont wear too much makeup so I blend in with the other girls. People see me and I can see they are trying to figure out if I am a guy or a girl, but I mostly pass a girl without too much trouble.February 17, 2017 at 12:28 am #44704Marla CalderParticipantOffline
Registered On: February 15, 2017
Several years ago I mentioned to my wife that I liked to crossdress. She understood but did not want to see me as she said she didn’t think she could handle me looking better than her in a dress. She did come across a few of my clothes but we never discussed it any further. I continued to dress but in private. A few years later, while watching Rocky Horror Picture show, I brought it up again, commenting that I could rock the heels he was wearing. We had discussions about garter belts and was surprised that in the past she’s worn them. A bit about my wife, she is a tomboy at heart and hates wearing dresses. Again, she said she did not want to see me and I respected her wishes, continuing to dress secretly and hiding in my office. Fast forward to today. I started discussing it more with her. I asked her again how she felt about all of this. She admitted that she did not understand it and I was becoming the girl she hated, meaning wearing dresses and hose, all the stuff she did not like to wear. I explained that I think it was because I really enjoy seeing a women dressed to the nines and since that’s not her, I dress to fill that void. I felt more comfortable talking to her, explaining my wish to have a complete head to toe makeover with photos. She even help clean out the closet in my office to move my wardrobe in there (was cramming it all in a trunk) and I proudly showed her my shoes, which she was amazed at the heels and how I haven’t killed myself in them! I really do consider myself lucky that’s she so accepting as much as she is.January 11, 2017 at 12:11 pm #40772CrystalParticipantOffline
Registered On: December 14, 2016
Very quick turn around from my previous post just a couple of hours ago. I might be drastically moving up my planned talk to the wife time. Got an email from her not long ago while sitting at work asking why there is a book on the Kindle about crossdressing. I purchased a bunch of ebooks lately and as I got each one, I quickly unshared it from the Amazon Household account so that it wouldn’t appear on her app, I guess I missed one. I was so tempted to just ignore her email, but that would have just driven her crazy, so I lied… I told her that every month I get a list of books to choose one free from (that much is true) and since I couldn’t find anything of interest, I chose that because it might be interesting. I doubt she believed it, but she left the subject alone after that. Not sure how tonight is going to go, but I might not be able to put this off much longer.
"Beauty isn't about having a pretty face. Beauty is about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and most importantly, a beautiful soul."January 11, 2017 at 11:40 am #40771NikkiParticipantOffline
Registered On: January 3, 2017
I have not come out to my wife yet. I am not sure if i will yet till i know what are relationship is going to be. Right now me and my wife are very rocky. I am not sure if we will stay together. I made a mistake recently at work. It cost me some and placed us in a very difficult position emotionally. If we manage to save our marriage i may tell her. Till then we have enough to deal with.
NikkiJanuary 11, 2017 at 6:32 am #40747CrystalParticipantOffline
Registered On: December 14, 2016
I have not yet but plan to very soon. I’m not sure if she suspects or not, may have found my stash and just hasn’t been able to confront me yet. The last week one day she referred to me as She while on the phone and I’m not sure if that was a slip or purposeful. Since then she has been a little depressed and I can’t help but wonder if it is all related or not.
I need to talk to her soon as this has all been affecting me very heavily. This week I finally started seeing a therapist and I spoke about all of this with her, she offered me some amazing support and offered that after a few weeks together, we can bring my wife in for a joint session and if I haven’t had the chat yet at that point, we could potentially do it then. As much as I like that idea, I’m afraid of the conversations in a joint session making my wife feel attacked. We’ll see how it all goes I suppose.
"Beauty isn't about having a pretty face. Beauty is about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and most importantly, a beautiful soul."January 11, 2017 at 5:02 am #40744JennyParticipantOffline
Registered On: January 5, 2017
So I haven’t told her yet that I am a CD , perhaps she knows something is up. See a very long time ago she found pictures of me fully dressed on our computer. First thing she did was freaked out and shared them with our closest friend and his wife. She was worried and sacred. I freaked out thought I was going to be outed, it was a rough few days. I even left home for a day to give her space. It was hard but I managed to get them all to believe that I photo shopped my face o to someone else. I was so scared that I was going to lose everything in my life!! I PURGED ! AND for ten years I only dressed a few times whe. She was out for the day. And suppress all urges for a long time. ……… ……
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Now the last 6 months I have been reading these adult story’s with her to help improve sex life, they worked and they are great way to test the waters so- to speak to see what she is Willing to understand and to explore or accept. ….</p>
I made sure we read ones with men being dressed up in wife panties, and lingerie and undergarments of that type. A few times she didn’t want to read them or she made rude type of comets, but eventually things changed, or should I say her thoughts and feelings on that type of behavior. I tried lite SM made her my mistress and got her to let me wear her panties, while she had me clean the house and do dishes. I was happy just to wear panties with her knowing. This went on for a few months, she even bought me a few pairs I was like ok great, but inside my head I was like OMG LOVING IT! I was even able to get her to let me wear o e of her black satin Teddy with the red trim around the breast cup area. I was in heaven. But this has now fully awaken the long thought dead cross dresser within me, my female side is fighting to be out more and more, it’s like a new awakening!
I have shown her my CD side somewhat more and more, but am so afraid to just come out and say it to her, and yet I feel she might be OK with it somewhat. For now I will leave it in the hands of fate to see what will happen. I like most here do not wish to lose the ones we love to just satisfied my urges.😭😊 but that’s my story thanks for reading.
JennyJanuary 9, 2017 at 2:02 am #40498AnonymousOffline
I started at a young age and got married when i was 36 been married 10 years now 5 of those years she didnot know one morning she caught me with pantyhose on getting ready for work she didnot say much then but when i got home she asked me and i told her she asked if ineeded more the next day she called me at work and ask if i needed panties could not belive it so i said yes and she got me some now i wear them all the time tring to hint around for her to get me a night gown but she has
not happen yet maybe soonJanuary 8, 2017 at 6:15 pm #40476DonnaParticipantOffline
Registered On: January 8, 2017
I have not. I started wearing tights with my normal men’s clothing and she said, “Just don’t start wearing dresses and we’ll be fine.” So that ended that path.December 9, 2016 at 7:31 pm #38092carrieParticipantOffline
Registered On: December 5, 2016
I am no longer married,my wife passed away in 2007,but I was married to her for 28 years.she was great about my wearing,she bought me clothes,and was fine with it all,in fact she enjoyed it very much.December 1, 2016 at 2:40 pm #37211RoseParticipantOffline
Registered On: September 15, 2016
I’ve been out to my wife since I started exploring about 15 months or so ago. She’s been fantastic about it from the start. At some point in September, I came out to my daughter (she’s 15). Totally uneventful. I’ve been procrastinating telling my son (14). Logically, I was quite sure he wouldn’t give a damn; but fear doesn’t really care about logic, and so every time I planned to tell him, I chickened out.
This past weekend, I bit the proverbial bullet and told him I was gender fluid – that sometimes I liked to paint my nails or wear women’s clothing or put on women’s shoes or whatever. He shrugged. I spent most of the day Sunday with my nails done in a pretty pink. Nobody seemed to bat an eye about it.
So… my logical mind was right all along, and I feel silly having given in to the unvoiced fears in the back of my head…
A Rose by any other name...
@}~}~~~November 27, 2016 at 2:44 pm #36755ErinParticipantOffline
Registered On: November 27, 2016
I talked about this with my wife before we started seriously dating as I didn’t think it fair for her to know only part of me, it was really hard to do but she was fantastic about it and responded that she would rather know the whole me and not just a part of me. Since then I still feel a ‘society based cultural guilt about crossdressing’ I just can’t help myself. My wife is amazingly supportive and we have even been out ‘girl’ shopping for make up and clothes for me. What is really nice now is that occasionally she will see something out and buy it for me, and I love trying it on and showing it off to her. We even have pyjama nights with matching sets which is really cool.
I still find it difficult to acknowledge her open acceptance which is my hang up not hers and something I hope time will heal or actually is healing as I slowly beat back years of suppressing my feelings as I did in a previous relationship. My life is really good now and I love the fact that I am comfortable with my crossdressing and it is who I am.November 26, 2016 at 5:26 pm #36668JacintaParticipantOffline
Registered On: November 23, 2016
Yes I have.
As I posted in my intro story, I came out to my wife, and as strange as it may seems it improved our relationship.
I had been basically denying myself for the years of our marriage, and it was finally taking a toll. Between various things I basically was shutting myself away and hiding from being social.
I made the decision to accept that I was transgender, and then spend the next week getting up the nerve to tell my wife.. Boy was that scary.
But it was (at least for me) the best thing I had done. She already had some idea apparently, but had never mentioned it to me. And was completely accepting and supportive. Even supported me going out and spending a fairly large sum on a new wardrobe, so I could present fulltime.
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