Have you come out to your wife? Do you plan to?

This topic contains 10 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Khloe West Khloe West 1 week, 6 days ago.

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #3786
    Profile photo of Vanessa Law
    Vanessa Law
    Founder
    Offline
    Registered On: April 19, 2012
    Topics: 55
    Replies: 162

    Ahh, the age old question – do you tell your wife about crossdressing?
    Back many years ago before I married I shared my secret – https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/how-to-tell-your-wife-you-crossdress/

    As daunting as this is, after I transitioned I realized that it’s far more difficult to tell your date about your past 🙂

    Have you shared with your wife that you crossdress?

    • This topic was modified 1 week, 4 days ago by Profile photo of JaneS JaneS.
  • Author
    Replies
  • #40772
    Profile photo of Crystal Crystal 
    Participant
    Offline
    Registered On: December 14, 2016
    Topics: 12
    Replies: 48

    Very quick turn around from my previous post just a couple of hours ago. I might be drastically moving up my planned talk to the wife time. Got an email from her not long ago while sitting at work asking why there is a book on the Kindle about crossdressing. I purchased a bunch of ebooks lately and as I got each one, I quickly unshared it from the Amazon Household account so that it wouldn’t appear on her app, I guess I missed one. I was so tempted to just ignore her email, but that would have just driven her crazy, so I lied… I told her that every month I get a list of books to choose one free from (that much is true) and since I couldn’t find anything of interest, I chose that because it might be interesting. I doubt she believed it, but she left the subject alone after that. Not sure how tonight is going to go, but I might not be able to put this off much longer.

    - Crystal

    "Beauty isn't about having a pretty face. Beauty is about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and most importantly, a beautiful soul."

    #40771
    Profile photo of Nikki Nikki 
    Participant
    Offline
    Registered On: January 3, 2017
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 17

    I have not come out to my wife yet. I am not sure if i will yet till i know what are relationship is going to be. Right now me and my wife are very rocky. I am not sure if we will stay together. I made a mistake recently at work. It cost me some and placed us in a very difficult position emotionally. If we manage to save our marriage i may tell her. Till then we have enough to deal with.

    Nikki

    #40747
    Profile photo of Crystal Crystal 
    Participant
    Offline
    Registered On: December 14, 2016
    Topics: 12
    Replies: 48

    I have not yet but plan to very soon. I’m not sure if she suspects or not, may have found my stash and just hasn’t been able to confront me yet. The last week one day she referred to me as She while on the phone and I’m not sure if that was  a slip or purposeful. Since then she has been a little depressed and I can’t help but wonder if it is all related or not.

    I need to talk to her soon as this has all been affecting me very heavily. This week I finally started seeing a therapist and I spoke about all of this with her, she offered me some amazing support and offered that after a few weeks together, we can bring my wife in for a joint session and if I haven’t had the chat yet at that point, we could potentially do it then. As much as I like that idea, I’m afraid of the conversations in a joint session making my wife feel attacked.  We’ll see how it all goes I suppose.

    - Crystal

    "Beauty isn't about having a pretty face. Beauty is about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and most importantly, a beautiful soul."

    #40744
    Profile photo of Jenny Jenny 
    Participant
    Offline
    Registered On: January 5, 2017
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 3

    So I haven’t told her yet that I am a CD , perhaps she knows something is up. See a very long time ago she found pictures of me fully dressed on our computer. First thing she did was freaked out and shared them with our closest friend and his wife. She was worried and sacred. I freaked out thought I was going to be outed, it was a rough few days. I even left home for a day to give her space. It was hard but I managed to get them all to believe that I photo shopped my face o to someone else. I was so scared that I was going to lose everything in my life!! I PURGED ! AND for ten years I only dressed a few times whe. She was out for the day. And suppress all urges for a long time. ……… ……
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Now the last 6 months I have been reading these adult story’s with her to help improve sex life, they worked and they are  great way to test the waters so- to speak to see what she is Willing to understand and to explore or accept. ….</p>
    I made sure we read ones with men being dressed up in wife panties, and lingerie and undergarments of that type. A few times she didn’t want to read them or she made rude type of comets, but eventually things changed, or should I say her thoughts and feelings on that type of behavior. I tried lite SM made her my mistress and got her to let me wear her panties, while she had me clean the house and do dishes. I was happy just to wear panties with her knowing. This went on for a few months, she even bought me a few pairs I was like ok great, but inside my head I was like OMG LOVING IT! I was even able to get her to let me wear o e of her black satin Teddy with the red trim around the breast cup area. I was in heaven. But this has now fully awaken the long thought dead cross dresser within me, my female side is fighting to be out more and more, it’s like a new awakening!

    I have shown her my CD side somewhat more and more, but am so afraid to just come out and say it to her, and yet I feel she might be OK with it somewhat. For now I will leave it in the hands of fate to see what will happen. I like most here do not wish to lose the ones we love to just satisfied my urges.😭😊  but that’s my story thanks for reading.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Jenny

    #40498
    Profile photo of Erica Erica 
    Participant
    Offline
    Registered On: January 5, 2017
    Topics: 0
    Replies: 3

    I started at a young age and got married when i was 36 been married 10 years now 5 of those years she didnot know one morning she caught me with pantyhose on getting ready for work she didnot say much then but when i got home she asked me and i told her she asked if ineeded more the next day she called me at work and ask if i needed panties could not belive it so i said yes and she got me some now i wear them all the time tring to hint around for her to get me a night gown but she has

     

     

     

    not happen yet maybe soon

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    #40476
    Profile photo of Donna Donna 
    Participant
    Offline
    Registered On: January 8, 2017
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 1

    I have not. I started wearing tights with my normal men’s clothing and she said, “Just don’t start wearing dresses and we’ll be fine.”  So that ended that path.

    #38092
    Profile photo of carrie carrie 
    Participant
    Offline
    Registered On: December 5, 2016
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 3

    I am no longer married,my wife passed away in 2007,but I was married to her for 28 years.she was great about my wearing,she bought me clothes,and was fine with it all,in fact she enjoyed it very much.

     

     

     

    #37211
    Profile photo of Rose Rose 
    Participant
    Offline
    Registered On: September 15, 2016
    Topics: 9
    Replies: 307

    I’ve been out to my wife since I started exploring about 15 months or so ago. She’s been fantastic about it from the start. At some point in September, I came out to my daughter (she’s 15). Totally uneventful. I’ve been procrastinating telling my son (14). Logically, I was quite sure he wouldn’t give a damn; but fear doesn’t really care about logic, and so every time I planned to tell him, I chickened out.

    This past weekend, I bit the proverbial bullet and told him I was gender fluid – that sometimes I liked to paint my nails or wear women’s clothing or put on women’s shoes or whatever. He shrugged. I spent most of the day Sunday with my nails done in a pretty pink. Nobody seemed to bat an eye about it.

    So…  my logical mind was right all along, and I feel silly having given in to the unvoiced fears in the back of my head…

    A Rose by any other name...

    @}~}~~~

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    #36755
    Profile photo of Erin Erin 
    Participant
    Offline
    Registered On: November 27, 2016
    Topics: 0
    Replies: 3

    I talked about this with my wife before we started seriously dating as I didn’t think it fair for her to know only part of me, it was really hard to do but she was fantastic about it and responded that she would rather know the whole me and not just a part of me. Since then I still feel a ‘society based cultural guilt about crossdressing’ I just can’t help myself. My wife is amazingly supportive and we have even been out ‘girl’ shopping for make up and clothes for me. What is really nice now is that occasionally she will see something out and buy it for me, and I love trying it on and showing it off to her. We even have pyjama nights with matching sets which is really cool.

    I still find it difficult to acknowledge her open acceptance which is my hang up not hers and something I hope time will heal or actually is healing as I slowly beat back years of suppressing my feelings as I did in a previous relationship. My life is really good now and I love the fact that I am comfortable with my crossdressing and it is who I am.

     

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    #36668
    Profile photo of Jacinta Jacinta 
    Participant
    Offline
    Registered On: November 23, 2016
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 1

    Yes I have.

    As I posted in my intro story, I came out to my wife, and as strange as it may seems it improved our relationship.

    I had been basically denying myself for the years of our marriage, and it was finally taking a toll.  Between various things I basically was shutting myself away and hiding from being social.

    I made the decision to accept that I was transgender, and then spend the next week getting up the nerve to tell my wife..  Boy was that scary.

    But it was (at least for me) the best thing I had done.  She already had some idea apparently, but had never mentioned it to me.  And was completely accepting and supportive.  Even supported me going out and spending a fairly large sum on a new wardrobe, so I could present fulltime.

    Jacinta

    3 users thanked author for this post.
Viewing 10 replies - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

People Who Like Thisx

Loading...
Share
+1
Tweet
Pin

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account