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  • #642211
    Stevie Steiner
    Founder
    Registered On: June 11, 2020
    Topics: 89
    Replies: 2002
    Has thanked: 8855 times
    Been thanked: 10362 times

    Ladies, I do not mean to pry, but have there been times when you have questioned your acceptance of your partner crossdressing?  Do you have good days and bad days when it comes to this?   Not speaking of a partner myself, but I have noticed that some who thought they accepted me as I am are more along the lines of acknowledging me – even supporting me – but still can’t get around the feeling behind it, or the gender identification aspect.  They just do not really understand it, which is fair, since many of us ourselves don’t fully understand it and work through our own acceptance of ourselves.

    How do you accept something you do not understand??  (For those who don’t).   I understand that you work at it for the person you love,  but…. it must be an emotional rollercoaster, sometimes flip flopping between “I can handle it” to sometimes feeling “not today please”?

    And… I applaud your strength and devotion ladies 🙂

    Stevie

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    • #687516
      Imannn
      Baroness
      Registered On: January 9, 2022
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 6
      Has thanked: 17 times
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      Hi Stevie😀 thank you for asking this question, it means alot to me. I flip flop often in my head, its been just under a year since i found out about my partners CD and it definitely took me longer than I’d like to admit to accept it and not feel a form of personal guilt or anxiety towards it. I first had to come to terms with the fact that this is my partners choice, a choice made decades before we ever met, a choice that has nothing to do with me and his feelings for me. That was the easy part (if i can say ‘easy’ lol). I flip flop because as much as I’ve accepted everything (i mean how can i not) its still a difficult thing for me to understand. The reasoning behind it for my SO and the emotions he has tied to it. We’re a young couple, i want nothing more than to grow old with my SO. Being so inlove with my SO yet not feeling like i fully understand him at times causes my flip flops.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #687533
        Stevie Steiner
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: June 11, 2020
        Topics: 89
        Replies: 2002
        Has thanked: 8855 times
        Been thanked: 10362 times

        Hi Imannn 🙂, and thank you for sharing that, and I do applaude you for your strength and determination ( and love ) to stick with your partner thru it all!

        Stevie

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #666635
      Ang
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 27, 2016
      Topics: 18
      Replies: 76
      Has thanked: 19 times
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      Hi Stevie!
      I know I am late to the party, but I wanted to take a minute and respond.

      Yes, absolutely there are good days and bad days! I think the bad days are when I feel left out or like communication isn’t open. If you didn’t know from the beginning that your SO participates in CD trust can be so hard. Especially if you found out on accident. So, there are definitely triggers in each unique relationship that can lead to bad days. The thing is that in any relationship that is true.

      Hugs to you, Ang

      • #666648
        Stevie Steiner
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: June 11, 2020
        Topics: 89
        Replies: 2002
        Has thanked: 8855 times
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        Thank you Ang.  Its true, all relationships have their ups and downs, and hurdles that must be crossed.  I can certainly appreciate this being a big hurdle too, and really admire the determination of those who work through it.

        P.S. – never too late to the party hon!! Lol

        Stevie

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665022
      Chrissie D
      Lady
      Registered On: April 19, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 5
      Has thanked: 42 times
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      Hi Stevie!  I may not be the best person (even being a GG) to answer this post, as I am very new to having a SO that is a CD.  And being good friends with ladies in the CD lifestyle and community,  and getting together for social time is certainly not the same as being a partner and romantically involved with someone.  That being said, it’s been about a year now that I have been in a relationship with Diana.  And although it was several months of dating before I even knew that she “existed” at all, I had already fallen for Diana in her “male form”.   At the time,  I felt that it was important to  stay open minded about it and “just see where it goes”. I had no idea if I would be attracted to Diana, sexually or otherwise, as I had no prior experience being with a cross dresser in the past.  Would I like her personality? Would I be attracted to her?  Would I be threatened by the differences between the two personas?   Would I be able to successfully separate them into two separate “people”?   And would I be able to honor the privacy and keep discrete all that comes with her not being completely “out” to her family, work and some friends. I had all of this “stuff” to consider … but the desire to help nurture Diana being “reborn” and seeing how happy it made this person who I cared about so very, very much far outweighed the reservations that might have been.  I was all in!  And let me say I love and adore both Diana and her “male counterpart”.   It’s actually FUN helping her get dressed!  I love that she looks to me for clothing and make-up advice.  We go out and she gets to experience a social life as a WOMAN. I’m happy that I can be there to  support her and give her more security and confidence out “in the world”…   And you can just see how she glows!  Sexually- I didn’t realize that I would be as attracted to her as I am.  (Who really knows until you try, am I right?).   Now I will say that I wouldn’t be able/happy if he was Diana 100% of the time.  I’m definitely okay sharing him with her … but I still very much need him in my life.  But I can honestly say I’ve grown to love them both and in my head they are actually TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.  And how lucky am I that I get both a wonderful girlfriend and an incredible boyfriend????  💜  I’m not sure if this actually helped with the original post and question … but this where I’m at right now.   😊

      • #665034
        Stevie Steiner
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: June 11, 2020
        Topics: 89
        Replies: 2002
        Has thanked: 8855 times
        Been thanked: 10362 times

        Thank you Chrissy, that did help!

        …and bless ya, it sounds like you are in a very good place hon!! 🙂

        Stevie

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #642460
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 442
      Has thanked: 223 times
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      Rode that roller coaster hard, Honey T. It’s been over a decade for me knowing about her. We are well past the crazy times and are comfortable as a threesome. Not that kind of threesome!

      Acceptance came when I learned that this CD thing is not by choice. It never goes away.

      Support for her was to make the relationship work instead of denial in which both of us would be miserable.

      Sure, I’d rather have a ‘normal’ husband (no offense inferred as to what is normal). Is there really one out there?                                                                                                                                                           Downsides of living with a CD husband. I can’t talk about it with friends or family. I can’t even ask who else’s husband does this. Always nervous someone we know will recognize her. Seeing girly things around the house that are not mine, like tissue paper in the trash with lipstick on it. Sometimes finding my bras in her drawer, or hers in mine. Mail in her name. Smelling perfume while we sleep, not my scent.

      And number #1: Seeing my husband assuming feminine traits while dressed up.

      He doesn’t fish, golf, gamble, or play poker all night. I’m grateful that she enjoys the grocery shopping. When I’m in the mood for a Hallmark movie and wine, I have an instant girlfriend. All in all, this isn’t too bad a situation. Still, it’s difficult to see my Robin Hood turn into Maid Marian.

      Hugs, Eileen

    • #642325
      Honey T
      Baroness
      Registered On: October 19, 2019
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 91
      Has thanked: 57 times
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      From the beginning, I wanted to be supportive of my spouse. Wanting & achieving are two different things tho. I rode that roller coaster hard for the first year while reading, talking & experiencing a whole new side to my long time partner. That year was nothing short of hell but emotions are settled now & all is good. I’m enjoying seeing a happiness & calm that wasn’t often present before.

      Just as there are so many differences between cross dressers, significant others are all over the spectrum as far as their thoughts & tolerances too.

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