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I often see posts from CDH members who have support or even encouragement to dress from wives or GFs.
I wonder how many of us have received the same support from a MAN in their life (NOT an online only contact – someone you have met/know). Maybe a brother, cousin, friend, lover, what have you.
I received early encouragement to dress from a male lover. I have a few CD friends with similar experiences. I know some who actually have the support of brothers or fathers.
What’s your experience here? Have you ever had a man in your life who encouraged or at least supported your CDing?
Yes and I am most grateful for the encouragement. One of the males has admitted a sexual attraction, but has accepted my need to just focus on my evolving woman persona. I was flattered as he is a very “straight” male but also recognize that a sexual relationship with him could cause a lot of harm with his wife and family. We remain friends.
Hi Jenny, well that was an interesting question and I really had to think about my answer. While I would like to receive encouragement from a male, I really don’t have too many males in my life. The majority of my friends are female. Living in northwest Canada, I’m about a 5 hours drive to the nearest big city with not much in between but moose and bears. Most of the males locally are into oil & gas, farming, hunting & fishing, pickup trucks, snowmobiles & quads. While I tried, I really don’t fit into that kind of lifestyle. I would gladly move closer to a bigger city but my wife loves it here. My dad passed away many years ago and my brother lives thousands of miles away (and we have never had a close relationship – actually he’d fit much better in my community and I’d fit in better where he lives). I did meet a fellow CD and we’ve gone out for coffee/tea a few times but he just got married a month ago so I think his CD days are on hold for now. Thanks again for the topic. Stay safe, stay healthy, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.
Hi Jenny, I don’t know if you could call it support, but I have told my dad about my dressing. He’s accepted and we still have close relationship. He tends not to talk about my dressing, apart from wanting to know how far I want to go and the consequences of it. My family in general know and support me but have yet to meet Trish, more drab in femme clothing if you know what I mean. It has only been 5 weeks though so early days.
Love Trish
Hi,
I am in the fortunate position that one of my dearest friends is a CD who happens to live in the apartment above in the block where I live. It was by chance that I discovered that he is a cross dresser as, from time to time, I would notice traces of nail varnish on his fingers or a whisper of make up around his eyes when we would meet in the lift. We became friends and after about a month or so I was invited to dine. When the door was opened there stood a ravishing lady dressed in exquisite clothes. My Neighbour. I did confess to her to wearing ladies lingerie from time to time. We are now firm friends and have dress up evenings now and again.
With her being far more adept and passable than I we sometimes go shopping together with me in my boy clothes sporting lingerie beneath with my friend beautifully turned out in all her femme finery. She keeps all of my measurements in a notebook should I wish to purchase anything femme for myself.
I do hope that this cursed virus will finish soon so that we can get back to some real shopping.Stephanie
I have been dressing since 5 yrs. old.
My youngest ( of 2 brothers) has caught me several times when I couldn’t hide quickly enough. I have texted him pics of me out dressed by mistake… He always says not to worry…he loves me , no matter what.
One of my doctor ” Man Friends” gets dressed pics on a regular basis. He always has positive comments. He does improv comedy and had to play a ” lady part” and he sent me pics!
My son knows , doesn’t want to see me dressed, but no discouragement.
His wife and I go out many great times per .year.
Love to all in 2021…
Dr. T.J.
My partner and I are both men. We take turns being the woman. Very infrequently we have male on male intimacy!! Our intent is to have a long term relationship, so we’re careful not to make each other jealous.
We both like M to F, and lesbian relationships where both play a woman. I personally would like to step out and have a one night stand on occasion. If I did this it would be a purely homosexual relationship. My partner is not down for this so I r expect her wishes. Our relationship is more important than an urge I might have.
💕 Nicole
Hi Nicole – that’s an interesting reply. I am always fascinated to learn how M2M relationships deal successfully with CDing.
I have “been with” a fair amount of men (not sure how many, 30 perhaps?). Some were on going, many were one time only. And in that, only a very small handful (4 that I can think of) were interested in sleeping with Jenny, not my male self. 1 or 2 of those, younger Jenny very stupidly let get away, thinking such men would be plentiful (which is not the case at all).
I have longed for an on-going man who wants Jenny, but it’s been very elusive. I love hearing stories like yours – gives me hope still 🙂
Oh my gosh Jenny, you are so right in both respects! The right guy is not easy to find, and you can’t let them get away when you do! Sounds like our man count is similar, but I’ve never been with a man as a man…but always dressed in something feminine, even if were just a nightie or something that made me feel femme. Haley was really born about 18 months ago when I bought forms and a decent wig, and that was when I had my first date as a girl. About 3 months ago, I met Steve online and I knew from his response he was different, and he told me the same thing. So many flakes, so much rudeness and crudeness…and then he answered. We have met twice so far, and we’re having “breakfast” tomorrow morning😉
I have met up with another cross-dresser a few times and dressed up with him,
I went round to his house and we both dressed up that’s the only times I’ve dressed up with someone else and because we were both bi we had you know what,
Hugs Rozalyne x
Before I found crossdresser heaven I only had one friend I met through a magazine called Girl Talk. We helped each other get a bit more comfortable with who we are. We only met once and we were both with our wives who had no idea we “knew” each other. Then I found CDH and the ladies here are just so nice and I have many friends who I can tell anything to, and I listen to them. It is so nice not to feel so alone and be able to share conversation with them. When I have a bad day, they are there. When I find a wonderful dress or blouse they want to know about it. When there is an issue with the wife or family, many have similar issues so they understand. All this is why I selected a another CD as my answer.
I have a man friend who also happens to be my “playmate”. Not only does he encourage me, he treats me like a lady 100% of the time and never fails to comment on how sexy I am to him. He has never seen me in drab, and I have no plans to ever meet him dressed that way. Finding him in a sea of strokers was just plain luck, but I’m so glad I did.
I told my 2 best friends a couple of days ago, One was very accepting letting me know that it changes nothing between us, while the other flat out started shopping for cute things for me to wear for the next time we meet up (unfortunately he’s not willing to pay for them), Honestly they have been great and super supportive and willing to go on this journey with me to help and support where ever they can.
Except for my gay makeup artist, no. Most males I know would be disgusted. I’ve had better luck with women. Maybe 50/50. Obviously, I get 100% support from the girls here on CDH. It’s one of the reasons I stick around!
We love you Emily Alt!!
Wishing you all the best in 2021 !!
Dr.T.J.
My first man crush also became my first boyfriend/love/lover. Vincent was a very good man and he was the first person to ever meet Paula after puberty had hit. He provided a safe place for me to be me, gave me somewhere to keep all of my feminine possessions, helped me to learn how to live femme and taught me so much more.
He was also the person who put me in touch with other girls like myself helped me realize that my desire to dress was so much more than just the clothes, but that deep inside, there was this whole other person that needed to be released. He was also my first lover, and taught me a LOT about my sexuality as a girl, and the desires I was struggling to understand.
PaulaF.
Paula – thanks for sharing that! Have to admit, I’m envious too. During my puberty early teen years, I desperately wanted to attract a man who could provide exactly that sort of guidance. Around 13 or 14, I made very clumsy and unsuccessful efforts to go out publicly at night wearing pantyhose in hopes of being “picked up.” Sadly, that never worked out. Wonderful to hear your story though!
Apart from just about every man I meet in Brighton, I got asked to go carol singing by a guy I used to work with a couple of years ago. He came out as gay during his first year with the company – initially to me, while we were having a cigarette break.
So, when he asked me to go out and sing in a town many miles from the town I live in, I took the opportunity to state my position, and ask if that was acceptable to him.
He was totally fine about it – and when we met for the first time in 3 years, he was vociferous in enthusiasm about my look, and the rest of the choir were just as welcoming!
There were no altos, so, as a former choir leader and extremely long-term choral singer, I took that role, and we sang firstly in their office, and then in a shopping centre – and raised nearly £2k for charity.
I moved last Christmas, due to a nasty landlord evicting my family 2 weeks before Christmas last year (shortly after he’d seen me wandering around cross dressed, so I wonder if the 2 are linked), so I didn’t go singing then – and COVID-19 has stopped it this time around – let’s hope it can happen this year!
Love Laura
I have received support and encouragement from a number of men I have encountered in my life as Jennifer. I have received flowers and other gifts (jewelry and such)from some of them. One even gave me a gift card for Victoria’s Secret. I have been taken out on dates for dinners, movies and dancing but with covid that has been severely cut back.
Have lots of cd friends in which we encourage all kinds of activities together and dated or lived with several men over the years. I just love being out as a couple to places like movies shopping clubs beach etc. Being pampered and spoiled like a princess. I am most satisfied by the emotional and sexual support that it offers as well
No support system besides you ladies on here.
Jennifer
Jen Heels…
The ” girls” of CDH ARE HERE FOR YOU!
Please stay in touch and keep me updated on your journey.
If you have questions , we have answers…we been there. Trust me!!
Reach out, stay excited.
Later, Sweetie,
Dr.T.J.
Thanks Doc.
Jennifer
several of my co-workers offer support and encouragement. The straight ones as well as gay.
A number of my wife’s boyfriends enjoy having me around as a girl.
Back in the day, my school chums teased me, but were kind about it and liked that I would let them practice feeling my breasts before trying to touch their girlfriends.I was going to say no, but after much thought on the matter I guess I really should say yes. In the past 3 months I came out to 2 of my 4 brothers and since it was not an out right rejection I guess it really was positive and supporting. The 2nd brother was even more understanding seeing how his now daughter has come out as trans about 4 years ago.
What I did was come out to the one closest to me ( distance wise) and then the next. It is one of my most important goals to tell the other 2 this year and tell my mother too. telling my mother could be the hardest because she has alzheimer,s and from what I understand some days are good for her and some days are bad. I so much want her to know at least a little of this side of me while she is still here. I am even thinking that it might be helpful if one of my brothers came with when I tell her
Encouragement or support, probably not. But my adult son who lives at home accepts me when I’m dressed at home (and that has been almost the last 10 months). Even if I’m wearing something more of a fetish or out of the ordinary.
I also have met a lot of CD friends at parties and support groups, where I’m accepted. At one support group meeting I got a makeover from a gay hair dresser/makeup artist/drag artist. And at the parties there have been some guys who were not in the CD community but certainly accepting of us.
Yes, I had I thought a good friend who turned into my lover for a bit who helped me when my wife and I separated quite a few years back now. He insisted I stay with him and that I be me while there. I lived as Heather for 3 weeks and after about the first week we became involved. It was probably the best 3 weeks of my life. Alas I got back with my wife and he met someone else who he married. His SO also a man didn’t like our close relationship and pushed me away.I haven’t seen or heard from him in a few years now and he crosses my mind often, I miss him dearly.
Yes I have a good friend who has encouraged me he accidentally found out when i was doing my laundry and saw the clothes. He asked about them and i just told him. He has kept my secret. Since then he has been my sounding board i bounce ideas off him. He is oone of the few who has seen me dressed up. And he told me i should just come out “You Will feel better” and he was right i do now
Hi Jenny.
It was back in 1971, I was 18 and had just started work in my first ‘proper’ job. I worked in a studio doing artwork and there was photographic studio with camera and darkrooms as part of the set up. My instruction on how the photo aspect of the job worked was given by a man, 10 years my elder, with whom I spent many hours in various darkrooms. He was always considerate, patient and professional and good company. After a Kodak event one evening, he offered me a lift home as I didn’t have a car of my own. I had consumed one or two free glasses of wine. On arrival, he saw me to my door and patted me on my bottom as he wished me good night. I was surprised, but more surprised at how much it thrilled me.
At work, he apologised sincerely and was very embarrassed. I heard myself say its ok, dont worry about it, no harm done. I know after that we got closer, I confided in him about my crossdrrssing, again after an evening out where wine loosened my tongue. He shocked me when he bought for me a pair of panties, all gift wrapped. They were beautiful. and he encouraged me to enjoy being myself and not to be frightened or guilty. It was the most wonderful time of my life and he still supports me to this day, 50 years later. I wouldnt change a thing.
Hugs..Evelyn. xx3 “Subsets” for me/.
1/. Perhaps not so much as encouragement as tolerance from a/. my (younger) brother and b/. the two best mates I’ve ever had,. since schooldays . They had no desire to see meet Caty, but shared in the stories that inevitably flowed from my “fortunate life”. aka 73 and still kicking…. (But these days only in low heels!!!)
2/. A number of male CD friends from as far apart as Western Australia and British Columbia. Usually met back then, (B C, aka before computers) via mail , phone calls and CD groups
3/. Do we count the lovely little email group that has evolved via CDH?? There;s about 10 of us from all over the globe who support each other and communicate on a regular basis.
Happy dressing
Caty
Oops I selected my vote before I read the last selection. A few years ago, on vacation in Florida I met another CD/TG I met online and we walked along the Gulf coast in a park for about an hour or so (in male drag) sharing experiences and our lives. I did have a vacation place there (living up North), but sold it and haven’t been in contact since. Only person other than my SO that’s been privy to both sides. There was some relief being able to share like that, but of course, there is a risk involved. I was happy I could overcome it then.
My best friend that I play league pool with as well as go to college football games with knows and is completely supportive. He said I am his friend no matter how I’m presenting and even helped build hanging racks for many of my outfits in my spare bedroom.
Most of the people at league pool – male and female – know about Cyn and ae at least accepting even if they don’t completely understand it. The owner of the (fairly redneck pool) bar saw a pic on my phone accidentally and asked “who’s the babe?” then said “OH that’s YOU!”. I haven’t gone there in full Cyn mode but I do wear sexy boots and leave my hair down or curl it and wear dangle earrings and color on my fingers and feel completely safe. In n upcoming article, I write about how just showing the world that we in the community are just regular people who present a bit differently can help in the move to the community becoming ever more socially accepted.
CynI pretty much never get hit on in real life – without the internet, I’m not sure how I would have ever found men haha. Thank God for the internet! 🙂
I know some CDH girls get offended when hit on, I find it flattering – just wish it happened more often!
I can think of maybe three times a guy def hit on me. In the gym, in a men’s room — way too public and I froze with fear. Of course, each time I kicked myself afterward for not reacting better and letting it play out! 🙁
Boom!
Nail on the head, there, Sammy!
The magic lies in you knowing that you have something special to offer, and not doubting it for a fraction of a second.
Fully accepting yourself for who you are, and being happy to share that.
It’s probably quantum, as it’s a simple mimdset switch, yet can feel like the other end of the Universe.
Watch any “magician”. The secret of the magic is usually knowing one more thing than the audience, such as where the card really is.
Love Laura
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