Tagged: Cyn
- This topic has 11 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by Anonymous.
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- October 8, 2015 at 3:29 am #9595
As difficult as life can be for those of us who fall outside the “norms” (at least by society’s standards), it would be understandable if we sometimes wish we din’t have the feelings we do. Certainly life would be easier and the fear of rejection less….and yet….I find myself wishing NOT that I don’t have the feelings but that I can accept myself just as I am. I LIKE the way I am when I let Cynthia express herself.I don’t hate myself or dislike my male side but when Cynthia is allowed to shine through, I feel more complete. She is able to talk about her feelings in a way that men are usually unable to do.
I don’t know if I will ever reach the point where Cynthia is out full time or not. But whether she does or not, I think it has been a blessing in life to have experienced the struggles as they have made me a stronger person in the end(and should it come to it will have made me a better woman too!)
What are your thoughts about YOUR feelings and desires?
Cynthia
- October 8, 2015 at 4:18 am #9596Anonymous
Mine feeling are like I told my therapist if I could choose be all male or all female I choose all female it dominated my mind and that’s why my mother said ever since I was 12 I’ve been depressed she has no idea what I was doing at that time trying to become a female now at 80 years old do I tell I’m trans my other big mountain to get over
- October 8, 2015 at 5:17 am #9598Anonymous
Yes a million times. I can never give 100% concentration in any work. Always worried and distracted. It would be much easier to sleep without waking up in the middle of the night as to what the future holds. For once I could be the bro my guy friends think I am and do my part without feeling attracted to them. Or maybe walk up to that one girl who makes me feel alive and ask her out. But instead watch other guy’s flirting with her :(… If I could be friends with the mirror again. It would also be less stressful to be able to feel comfortable in our clothes or skin. That emptiness and insecure feeling when I don’t have my lingerie on. Or maybe take away the pain of people who we love the most our parents, partners, children once they know our truth. Knowing I could not be a bridesmaid when my sister ties the knot. Or never be accepted completely.
Wishing is a hard thing to do when waking up each day is a survival!
- October 8, 2015 at 5:18 am #9599Anonymous
Sorry for the typos.. Damn auto correct
- October 8, 2015 at 1:26 pm #9628
As The Bard said through Hamlet, “to be or not to be,” well that is the question for all of us. But, remember life is about balance, I believe we all have a soul that contains a yin and yang, which is opposites, genetically we produce both testosterone and estrogen, and biblically Eve was made from Adam. So to be ourselves is to embrace both sides and live in contentment and peace.
Also check out Lacey and Des Allen on Youtube
- October 8, 2015 at 5:55 pm #9659Anonymous
I feel like I am more Transgender than anything else but then sometimes I wonder if I am Gender Fluid which I am told means that you enjoy being a woman sometimes and you also enjoy being a man sometimes so I guess at times I am on the fence. I feel like sometimes I wish I could just be normal, even though I don’t think anyone is even close to being total normal in this day and age.
I think I am becoming more comfortable with the fact that I really really want to be a woman more than anything and I am slowly to the point where I am starting to gradually tell other people that I am Trans. I am gay so I have been telling my gay friends and they seem to be cool with it and I told my real mother who lives in CA that I haven’t seen in 20+ years and so telling her I wasn’t worried if she wanted nothing to do with me if she wasn’t okay with it.
Sorry I went off subject but its off and on how I really feel. I mean if I won a million dollars tomorrow I would devote all the money that I won into making the transition to becoming a woman!
- October 8, 2015 at 9:06 pm #9688
Yup right now would be a real good time
- October 9, 2015 at 12:55 pm #9745Anonymous
Nah…I’m good….I dont mind…I am having too much fun ! I get where you are coming from though. Some people kinda have a love hate relationship with crossdressing, or consider it a guilty pleasure ( like my love of Taylor Swift’s Music)…I am embarrased to admit I like it, ashamed of it, but it just feels right…kinda like crossdressing for some. Its all about acceptance I guess, and how much an individual is willing to accept crossdressing as something that is OK to do, your not breaking any laws, or hurting anyone.
- October 9, 2015 at 5:11 pm #9760
I would rather it goes away, either that or be born a girl. It comes it goes and when it does, I am conflicted. :/
- October 9, 2015 at 7:46 pm #9780Anonymous
I can’t say that I ever wished these feelings would go away. I have always been somewhat disconnected from many male pursuits But then I was always something of a loner and outsider so I never gave it much thought. Then, in high school I discovered that I just had to dress as a girl. It felt good, right and normal. I even experimented with hiding my equipment and loved the image of a girl where I was standing. Changes in my what I liked over time were often shocking but ultimately it was easier to embrace within myself than it was to come out AS myself. I was always fearful of losing everything of import in my life and, judging by my 3 failed marriages, I did anyway until I finally CHOSE to BE ME. I have been happier and I have finally achieved personal balance as a whole person.
- October 15, 2015 at 11:40 pm #10544
As a teen and into my very early 20’s I can recall these thoughts along with all the others such as is there something wrong with me. As I matured I’ve accepted and and happy with who I am. My guess is that most of us who have been dressing have had the same thoughts early in life and have embraced our feminine side as we grew. For me the those feelings subsided greatly in my early 20’s but it was not until my late 30’s that I finally stopped asking any questions and really decided to embrace and enjoy who I am….a proud CrossDresser
Heather
- November 13, 2015 at 6:09 am #12511Anonymous
I agree with Heather,back when I was younger in my teens and twenties,I was very confused.I didn’t know what I was,the world called us freaks and gender benders and the big question am I gay,what the hell am I.So back then yes,I was very confused and I thought I was all the things the world called me,which was a lot because I was picked on a lot,at school,at work,by my father and brother because I was different.Now I am older and supposedly more mature [have to ask my wife about that one]I enjoy who I am and think I am lucky because I can see things from all different sides.Sometimes form Bryan’s side,sometimes form Heather’s side and sometimes from a mixture of both.So,no I wouldn’t wish my feelings away,it is who I am.
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