Tagged: Being a diamond
- March 21, 2022 at 9:22 pm #630549Carmen CruzParticipantRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 341Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 1987 times
As an update, because you all make me feel loved here, I’ve decided to shake things up on the “other” platform. I mean, if people are gonna be pissed at me for just existing, then I might as give people a reason to do so. So my new profile verbiage on the “other” platform is now:
Carmen Cruz: “AMAB, MtAaW (Male to Any at Will), Transcender (Can pass in public in whatever presentation I feel like presenting on any given day).”
It seems the more I communicate how proud I am to get to this point without HRT, the more alienated I feel from the very community I’m trying to incorporate my journey with.
I realize it’s a touchy subject, and I’ve mentioned my frustration prior, but it just seems to get worse. Progressive hatred as I make more progress naturally is draining my desire to even be trans or be labeled as such.
I realize HRT is a touchy subject, and it seems a significant number of trans-women are in the belief that if I’m not taking hormones, if I’m not doing FFS surgery, if I don’t have dysphoria and haven’t gone through depression about my gender, then I simply do not qualify as trans.
Venting, but feeling really proud and good about myself and won’t let naysayers stop me from making progress however I see fit… but it does sting a little I admit.
Maybe I just skip the trans part, delete everything even trans related online, and just do things without that network of support… because clearly, just as the trans community feels they’re outsiders from traditional society, they have no problem making others feel like outsiders within their own community. I’m starting to feel like, while yes, society is part of the issue for trans, it’s just half the problem. Maybe trans and their communities attitudes towards other trans is also a part of that issue. We make our own bed afterall.
- This topic was modified 6 months ago by Carmen Cruz.
- March 24, 2022 at 5:01 am #630972Celeste StarreLadyRegistered On: June 26, 2018Topics: 51Replies: 1479Has thanked: 389 timesBeen thanked: 5442 times
I live in a rural area and, as such, generally only get to socialize with transexuals as all the cross dressers remain hidden. It’s a small support group that I occasionally attend and I’m the only CD in the group. I can contribute to the conversation when we just talk about the various things going on in our lives that are not trans related. However, when they talk about HRT,GRS, or even electrolysis I’m kind of left out as I don’t do any of those things. We never talk about finding the perfect dress or a really great pair of heels because none of them wear dresses or heels. I tone things down a lot compared to what I might wear at home but I’m still always dressing in an overall more feminine way than anyone else. So where’s my support you might ask? Well I get to go home thinking “Thank goodness I’m a transvestite and not a transexual. I would truly hate to go through what those girls do in order to be happy.”
- March 23, 2022 at 10:15 pm #630927Emily AltDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: August 24, 2019Topics: 17Replies: 922Has thanked: 822 timesBeen thanked: 4403 times
I’m on that “other” site too and have read similar rants from girls I respect. I’ve gotten some down votes and snarky retorts myself. I don’t care. I’m doing my part to better our community despite the fact that some girls are too ignorant to see it.
Don’t stop what you’re doing. I’ve seen some of your posts. Frankly, I think you’re an inspiration for any girl that wants a social transition. You’re showing them what’s possible without hormones or surgery….and with a ton of spirit.
Anyone that says you have to do this or have that to be tran is missing the point. All of us are somewhere on the spectrum. It’s how our brains are wired.
FWIW, you could limit your posts to just your profile. Your audience will be smaller but probably more appreciative.
- March 23, 2022 at 11:29 pm #630932Carmen CruzLadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 341Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 1987 times
Emily!!!!!!!!!!!!! How are you dear, it’s so nice to see you on CDH!
I really appreciate your words. That’s exactly the point of my posting so much, doing my part to better our community and “hopefully” inspire so many of those that are having so much trouble feeling so scared to go out into the world. I want to show that it’s fun, but also indirectly “learn” from my nearly neurotic perfectionism with feminizing the face and the entire theory behind it.
I do get quite a few questions via DM, and after weeding through the nearly endless daily followers who message only to try to get some action, I respond to everyone with legitimate and sincere questions about challenges and lessons I’ve learned along the way into this crazy journey.
I’ve never been good at “stepping on toes” to achieve a goal, throughout my entire life actually. It doesn’t really make me feel good as a person, and that personality trait has carried over to girl life too. But, I’ve gotten better at understanding that it does happen, even if my intent is authentic and sincere and done with a good heart.
Being relatively new to the trans world, I guess I was just taken back a bit that there are trans-phobic trans women out there. Seems hypocritical, but I now know there’s plenty of them that exists.
- March 23, 2022 at 9:54 pm #630924LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 341Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 1987 times
First and most important, I just want to let all of you know how much you mean to me. Thank you, all of you, for your responses and kind words. I read every single one.
I feel better. It took me a hot minute, but I’m over it. Thank you all again, and it’s so nice to be part of this community.
- March 23, 2022 at 1:17 pm #630835Abbie NormalDuchessRegistered On: June 13, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 678Has thanked: 1382 timesBeen thanked: 2807 times
I’m sorry you’re struggling with community acceptance. A bunch of us here recognize that “trans” is a big umbrella and you don’t need any qualifiers other than to identify as trans to be included. There are others that have other opinions. Stay strong and don’t let the haters win, honestly, if they make you bitter then you’ve lost. The best advice, probably the only advice, my dad gave me was “Don’t let the world harden your heart”. I wish I’d understood what he was saying sooner.
— Abbie 🥰
- This reply was modified 6 months ago by Abbie Normal.
- March 23, 2022 at 12:32 pm #630819ChloeCDuchessRegistered On: November 5, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 604Has thanked: 2217 timesBeen thanked: 2828 times
Well, you’ve touched on an issue that I’ve seen for many, many years. And, unfortunately, humans being what they are, I doubt it will ever go away.
The greater issue I’ve seen, and been sorely disappointed by, is the problem with affinity groups. People seem to want to belong, somewhere, somehow, to something, and even more, to some kind of group that appears ‘exclusive’. That means, it’s formed around a particular subject that the general public may not necessarily care about.
So groups spring up, be it politcal, athletic, social, hobby, civic, whatever. You search around and find that group and it seems to be for people like yourself and you join it. It’s a special group, a unique group, a group where you all seem to share the same values…that the group was organized to encourage or support or help give guidance.
As long as the group remains small, close knit, it seems to do okay, it can even feel like, wow, I belong to this ‘exclusive’ club’! but let that group/club/organization/ whatever, grow too big and then the problems start. Members start looking at others, or newer members and begin to see tiny differences (well, we’re human, we’re individuals, there are always going to be some differences), and maybe some in the group get into positions of ‘power’ or controlling direction which leads to differences of opinions and what the group should be doing.
And if the group gets too big, and too welcoming, and too open, then it appears to lose it ‘exclusivity’ that maybe some if not many joined it because it was exclusive. I mean if anyone can join, even it they have the loosest of possible connections, then what does it mean for those who are dearly committed?
I’ve seen it happen again and again. The group gets too big, some start complaining about how many people are being let it, others who may think it’s okay decide they don’t like all the complaining, people leave in a huff including some of the originally dedicated founding members. Those who didn’t like all the grousing, cut back on their involvement. Newer members look around and have no idea what all the issues are about and decide to back off.
And voila! there goes the group. I happen to be more of a welcoming person, one who likes to help ‘provide shelter from the storm’, lend a helping hand, offer advice, suggestions, personal stories that may relate. And look at me, as I’ve posted earlier, I’m a failed transsexual. I made choices, and here I am doing what I can to live my life as best I can. In one take on cd heaven, I may not totally belong, but I surely don’t belong on the sister site. Yet, I have a plethora of experiences and ways I’ve found to deal with them that I’m willing to share. Just as I’m more than willing to read about those of others and offer support as best I can.
So, Carmen, I personally think you belonging here and sharing your life stories is important and wonderful. People here seem to cover and share a wide spectrum of what a community like this should be about. I can only suggest that you continue doing what you are doing that you feel good about. Be true to yourself, and if others can’t deal with it, it’s their problem, definitely not yours.
- March 23, 2022 at 12:30 pm #630817Lara TuckerLadyRegistered On: September 29, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 1075Has thanked: 23739 timesBeen thanked: 3818 times
I think they are jealous of what they perceive as effortless good looks. Most of those girls (the ones doubting you) are probably not near where they would like to be as far as looking like a woman. Then you are there all gorgeous without HRT or anything.
Here everyone seems to be on different journeys. Some here just want to wear panties, and others are going on to full transition. l think that is what makes our community different. We are more diverse in our desires. I think it makes us more open minded and accepting of one another.
Anyway, you are loved accepted here Carmen! 🤗 Forget the haters!
- This reply was modified 6 months ago by Lara Tucker.
- March 23, 2022 at 9:49 am #630806Sarah KanterLadyRegistered On: April 25, 2019Topics: 13Replies: 153Has thanked: 302 timesBeen thanked: 786 times
I think this raises important points. As cross dressers, we understand all too well the constraints of labels and societal norms. We all want to wear what we’re “not allowed” to, and be something different than what society expects. The thing about humans, though, is that we’re really good at making clubs, and then making them exclusionary. As soon as we express something about ourselves (cross dresser, trans, skier, comic book nerd, whatever) someone screams, “There’s a place for that!” then expects us to fit into that place.
Society essentially says, “Being a cross dresser (or whatever) is just fine, as long as you follow the rules of cross dressing.”
It’s nearly impossible for us not to do this. As I’ve participated on this website, I’ve seen some of the “standards.” This isn’t meant as an attack. This kind of thing is inevitable. As we talk about things and the more we talk about things, the way we talk about things shapes what we’re expected to talk about. Social norms are created through conversation. Every website like this one will develop it’s own culture.
Because this is inevitable, we need to expect it. It doesn’t have to be constraining, however. As long as we remain conscious of this process, we can think about it intentionally and work together to ensure this isn’t discriminating. It’s when we forget about this dynamic and start assuming that “our way of doing things” is the best or the only way.
One of the things I’ve been pleased with, is that there are a wide variety of cross dressing styles here, and everyone seems to accept each other. Some have the “trapped in a man’s body” experience and are dressing up towards transition. Some of us just like to switch back and forth between “modes,” participating comfortably on both sides of the gender coin. For some dressing up has deep meaning, for others it’s “just for fun.” Some of us pass well, some of us do not. Some of us are perfectly content being men in dresses, while others desperately try to pass. Some of us put on something comfortable at home after work, some of us go to work en femme. For some, taking a few nice pictures is enough, for others, going out of the house feels essential. Some of us are full time, some of us are occasional.
The thing all of us should remember is that there’s no right or wrong way to do this. We’re all at different places. We share a common struggle, but we also struggle in our own way too. We need to support each other as we are and be careful about creating an expectation that in order to “belong” here, you have to dress up in a certain way. I haven’t seen this on this site, but I’m glad Carmen reminded us of this danger.
So Carmen, dress how you want, the way you want.
My only problem is that I’m jealous of how great you look!
- March 22, 2022 at 9:41 pm #630742Marg ProdueLadyRegistered On: March 16, 2022Topics: 0Replies: 189Has thanked: 711 timesBeen thanked: 656 times
Oh Carmen, I’m sorry that you had such a bad experience. I’m new to both CDH and TGH and joined after meeting Ambassadors April and Cynthia who assured me that I would be welcomed, which I was. I’m Intersex and my life has been checkered by misgendering, not fitting in and nasty encounters. I do understand the frustration and long-lasting hurt that these cuts can have for many years. That is why I try very hard to share my experience. My wife has a saying that says that the playground bullies never grow up, they just find bigger playgrounds. I will say that when I first came across your pics I thought that you were very glamorous and was actually glad for you. I thought that it was so wonderful that you had such beauty and such skill and perhaps we could learn something from you. At one time I worked with the very biggest performance stars and saw how plain looking they can be when the glitz and costumes come off. The most revered stars were the ones that were fair and kind no matter where you saw them while others were just nasty people that you had to work with. I think that that is the situation everywhere and the LGBTI community is no different. Nevertheless, some cuts are especially hurtful. Try not to give the bullies too much power over your life. They are either stupid or mean and do not deserve our attention. It has been my experience that the great majority of people that I’ve met here and on CDH and also at Madison Area Transgender Association and Madison and Milwaukee Pride and various national conferences have been very kind and helpful. There will always be a few jerks but I like to think that that is just the day their toast got burned or they got a flat tire. If they are BOZO’s twice to me, then I figure that I don’t need to associate with them and it’s their loss because I’m not a bad person. So do some venting and then try not to let them get to you. Judging from the number of people here and the kind comments that they have left for you, it is plain to see that you are surrounded by wonderful caring friends. Life is too short. Enjoy the good and discard the rest.
Safe Journey, Marg Produe
- March 22, 2022 at 11:00 am #630650
- March 22, 2022 at 10:55 am #630649Jessica Ann FlowersRegistered On: July 18, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 27Has thanked: 29 timesBeen thanked: 123 times
I have read the main article in this link and all of the lovely responses to it. I would to add and share something that I have found myself thinking about today as I contemplate my own own understanding and acceptance of just who and what I am. For me, I think that it comes down to this. I am a very beautiful and unique diamond. Like a diamond I have many facets. Each facet is a part of me but no single facet even comes close to representing the full me. But take them all together and what you have is a very beautiful, sparkling diamond. Iam reminded of an old proverb of ten people completely blind at birth coming across an elephant for the very first time. Each explore a part of the elephant with their hands and each develops a sense of what it is that they are touching. The thing is that since each are touching a different part of the elephant, each get a limited view of what it is they are touching. It is only when they compare notes do they begin to see the full picture of what the elephant is. I always thought of that in a spiritual or religious sense. But I am now beginning to realize that it can a does relate to the transgender experience as well. Each of us touch one part of the elephant and lose sight to the simple fact that there is more there than just the small part of the whole that we are touching. The Truth or reality of being transgendered is more than just our own personal sense or experience. We are but one facet of the beautiful diamond that is transgender spectrum. So please, let each facet be what it is and enjoy the beauty of the diamond as a whole.
- March 22, 2022 at 10:44 am #630641Angela BoothLadyRegistered On: August 1, 2020Topics: 9Replies: 1155Has thanked: 4368 timesBeen thanked: 5165 times
Oh you poor thing Carmen. I am so confused too with all that goes on these days. I say I am trans as I have transitioned from male to female in appearance and how I live my life. I have had no HRT or surgery but have that option should I wish to take it. I have read up and know a lot about the subject and have numerous labels that I could apply to myself but choose trans as that suits, being acceptable to those I meet who ask.
I haven’t engaged with trans groups or sought any comment so cannot know what happens within them but saddened if you are being chastened for not conforming to their rules. What gives any one the right to tell you who you are and what to do? I agree that there is a perceived norm to being trans and a well worn path. How far you wish to take the path is up to you and not to someone else to dictate nor criticise if you want to do something else. As for social media! Any woman gets adverse comments if they appear ‘fake’. If you enter an open forum it is something you have to live with as it is a shallow world and, thankfully, one I am happy to avoid. I understand that with the younger generation social media is an essential part of life and the need for affirmation from peers is part of it. The flip side is that there are the brick bats to contend with which is hard for this generation to deal with. There is a solution – get off it!
You are blessed with a body that you are proud of that exudes femininity which needs no HRT or any surgery. That is an enviable position to be in and that can court envy from some so they will be disingenuous in their comments. It does not mean that you aren’t trans, far from it. It just means that you have moved seamlessly into your female self and that can piss people off so they try to demean you at every turn. Do you really need to court the views of others outside of your true friends and family? Look to yourself Donna and look at the reaction, or lack of, when you go out, does anything indicate that you are anything other than a woman? I know it is lovely to get a comment about something you are wearing or a compliment but the main thing is to go about your day as if it is normal. If nothing negative happens then the day is a success and so are you.
It is up to you how you live your life and to enjoy it as the person you are. You don’t need a label and you don’t need the negativity of the envy or righteousness of others.
You are a shining light here and we hope you never leave.
- March 22, 2022 at 10:41 pm #630744Sandra LascoLadyRegistered On: January 30, 2022Topics: 2Replies: 56Has thanked: 285 timesBeen thanked: 250 times
Thank you wholeheartedly dear Angela for your CD and TG non-conforming-to-imposed-standards albeit true-to-heart and strongly liberating as well as empowering post. You are so right in what you write and it felt very soothing to me. Lots of hugs, Sandra
- March 22, 2022 at 10:23 am #630633Deborah SullivanLadyRegistered On: February 27, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 974Has thanked: 4701 timesBeen thanked: 4168 times
Yes Carmen I think we have all experienced this too. When younger I hung out at a lot of clubs here in LA that catered to trans and cd girls along with drag shows. It seemed the transgirls looked down at us cds are though we were just playing the role temporarily and not real serious unless you took hrt therapy. The majority of gurls present were cds like myself and we would talk about it. It seemed we were separate from the girls transitioning so we cds stuck together along with the girls in drag.I developed lots of relationships at the time with others like us and never had any serious or long term relationships with the full time trans girls, only polite conversations. Its ok though because we all have our own journeys and learned that the cd friends I met made it worthwhile
- March 22, 2022 at 9:34 am #630623AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Awww girl, so sorry to hear that. There is just too much hate and fear in the world, and we all know what those things can do to a person. It is too bad people don’t realize that putting more happy into the world, wherever a person can find it, would make the whole world better. If it is not hurting anyone else, awesome, do it! The world needs more happy in it. People I think just forget that end goal.
Also, no one will know your story and what you’ve been through better than you. You know you best. Search out the kindness and love that are out there and try not to let those negative others bring you down. They just won’t be able to know you, like you do.
Many hugs, and lots of love to you.
Keep going for your happy❤️
- March 22, 2022 at 9:26 am #630619Michelle TrottDuchessRegistered On: April 7, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 514Has thanked: 1640 timesBeen thanked: 2278 times
I am sorry for the somewhat negative response from other trans people. I think jealously might be a part of it. You are quite pretty. I think we should all regard each other as kindred spirits and should support each other. Do we all agree on everything. No. Nobody does. There are a ton of girls on both sites that are very beautiful. You included. All I can think when I see them is lucky you. I do not care what path you chose to become the girls we are. I am a little envious of girls like you too. But who cares? Be happy with yourself and the ones that don’t like it can go whatever themselves. Be who you are.
- March 22, 2022 at 6:08 am #630591Michelle McQueenLadyRegistered On: June 14, 2021Topics: 28Replies: 1512Has thanked: 9796 timesBeen thanked: 7403 times
I sympathize with you having had a bad experience with a MTF trans in the past when I thought she was going to be accepting. I’ve also read of several other CD’s experiences with trans and very few were helpful or accepting of CD’s.
One would think the LGBT spectrum would be supportive of each other in society but no. The only group I’ve seen so accepting and supportive is the crossdressing community evidenced here.
You have perfected your look so well its possible for others to have doubts of your success and naturally think you’re cheating with face apps and such or you really are on HRT. Take that as a compliment and forget the negative comments because they are just jealous of such a pretty girl.
I think trans people think everyone else is just “playing” because they have made a commitment to take things farther than we do. Its just an “I’m more serious than you” attitude.
- March 22, 2022 at 9:13 am #630613LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 341Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 1987 times
Thanks for this. Right now, society in general is hard to deal with. It’s like the world is just going down to dumps right now. Everyone has their own agenda I guess, and we each have our own things to deal with in life in general, let alone trying to fit it the world as a CD/trans/non-conforming/etc. etc.
- March 22, 2022 at 5:42 am #630587danielleBaronessRegistered On: December 30, 2016Topics: 2Replies: 27Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 107 times
Hello Carmen you keep doing what your doing. You look amazing. Don’t worry what other people are doing or saying. Do what makes you happy because in the end that’s all that matters. I always look forward seeing your pictures.
- March 21, 2022 at 11:50 pm #630560LadyRegistered On: January 30, 2022Topics: 2Replies: 56Has thanked: 285 timesBeen thanked: 250 times
Hi Carmen, I totally understand your feelings. Transwomen on HRT who make these remarks might just be jealous of you. I experience similar issues as I developed female breasts without HRT. First I was a little embarrassed but then when they continued growing I enjoyed them a lot and started applying breasts creams and breast pumps. Nowadays it has become increasingly difficult to hide them when I have to be in male mode. Some transwomen say I don’t say the truth concerning my boobs but – you know what – I just ignore them while being proud of myself being naturally feminine. I get a lot of compliments from cis females and males when they realize my breasts are real. So keep it up girl ! 🙂
- March 21, 2022 at 11:19 pm #630557AshleyLadyRegistered On: May 25, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 262Has thanked: 940 timesBeen thanked: 961 times
Once again Dr. Z has a really good video on this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B03puoY_jho
You do raise a really good point though. I think it’s a fear that I’d need to fall in lock step with the attitudes of the trans community or get rejected by them is one thing that’s held me back. It’s still something I worry about sometimes. Sometimes I think I might just be too weird to fit in anywhere lol.
- March 25, 2022 at 5:02 pm #631336LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 341Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 1987 times
Funny but not funny, but I do agree with you. Clearly it’s not all trans, though I know exactly what you’re talking about. I had an opportunity to see this first hand last night when I went to dinner, in boy mode with a few friends.
Here everyone is, and at the table next to us was a couple of mtf cd/trans-women. So, me being me, was casually listening and observing. They were doing great quite frankly, nobody batted an eye, nobody was being mean, I don’t think anybody in that restaurant even cared, everyone was just going about their business eating.
Next thing I know, I can hear them start up… “look at that lady (not referring to me), freak’n thinking we’re freaks, f’n transphobics in this town”. Mind you, I live in a very large city and known to be extremely diverse. I saw it first hand, nobody cared what they were, let alone even payed attention.
Anyhow, the server comes up, asked the ladies for the order etc and walked away doing her thing, helping other customers… being TOTALLY normal. I observed absolutely no difference in the servers attitude towards anybody in that place… she was great actually. Next thing I hear, the ladies were all complaining that the reason the server “took so long” is they assumed she was scared of cds/trans, and on they went ranting about how transphobic everyone is… loudly… and THEN people took notice, and it all went downhill from there.
I couldn’t help to think… YOU’RE FREAK’N GIVING THE WORLD A DAMN REASON TO THINK WE ARE ALL F’N WEIRD AND SELF RIGHTEOUS. I almost walked up and said it, but then they’d get all pissed off that I was transphobic.
So I do believe, have some self respect, be human, and nobody gives a hoot what you are until you force it down their throat!
- This reply was modified 6 months ago by Carmen Cruz.
- March 25, 2022 at 12:27 pm #631285LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 341Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 1987 times
Thanks. It isn’t really about winning… I got over that part pretty quick lol… even though it “seems” that putting it up there is to just get my haters even more mad, my end game is to exclaim really that I’m proud to be authentic. I’m proud to be me. I’m proud to be a CD. I’m proud to be “trans”. We ALL should be, it would seem the community then would be treated with more respect.
I’m starting to see, that many trans treat being trans like a darn “ethnicity”. It’s grating on me that attitude. Similar to if I went around constantly claiming every negative interaction I ever have in my life is because I’m asian and actually believed that’s the reason I’m not getting ahead in life. Or if I go around acting like I’m a triad member and harassing or partaking in gang violence, and when the cops come to my door for the crimes, I exclaim they’re racist against asians because they’re at my door.
Same darn thing with trans. If I go around acting trans and have some sort of pre-disposed expectation that the person I’m interacting with at that moment should treat me any differently than any other human being, then that’s an issue I’m creating for myself for acting trans vs. just being a human being.
- March 25, 2022 at 12:17 pm #631283LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 341Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 1987 times
Thank you for this. Yes, I’m observing it from every possible angle… good and bad, intentional or not, biased and unbiased, learning it all from every angle, every aspect, every notion.
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- March 25, 2022 at 11:40 am #631267AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
I had a couple thoughts about your daughter in the support groups. I hope you don’t mind me sharing.
In the groups there could be this thought that it is us (LGBT) vs. them (the rest of the world). That could make it always feel like an uphill battle or a war.
My other thought is that could be a lot of depressed people going to these support groups. When they chat, the stories could be about how their families don’t approve of them or isolate them.
1 user thanked author for this post.
- March 24, 2022 at 9:49 am #631027LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 341Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 1987 times
I have a daughter who became involved in the LGBT space in her late teens/early 20s. Mind you, I’m a fully supportive dad, so growing up she had an amazing family and network of support. She’s bright, absolutely gorgeous, extremely talented in everything she puts her mind to, and had a really happy upbringing. THEN she decided in her late teens that she is lesbian. I have zero problem with that, obviously. What I DO have a problem with however, is ever since she’s been involved with “support groups”, she’s become constantly depressed. It’s like her magnificent shining bright light of a person suddenly got diffused, curiously timed with LGBT initiatives. Part of my journey into this all is because of that. To gain a much deeper understanding of the dynamics at play so I can not only be supportive, but get that bright beautiful human being of a daughter shining again.
I believe the only way to truly understand another person is to live it. Well, my daughter is worth it.
- This reply was modified 6 months ago by Carmen Cruz.
- March 22, 2022 at 10:19 am #630630LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 341Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 1987 times
Hahahaha! No kidding right???? Though I think I might actually start using it (for myself), see if I could shake up the trans community a little… because well, apparently, I’m pretty good at that… so I might as well take it all the way. It’s in my personality.
OMG, yup, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I feel better already! LOL.
“Carmen Cruz. AMAB, MTAaW, and I’m sooooooo proudly trans that I’ve transcended to ultra trans as a Transcender.”
- March 22, 2022 at 9:24 am #630618MartiDuchessRegistered On: February 5, 2019Topics: 62Replies: 957Has thanked: 4975 timesBeen thanked: 4523 times
- March 22, 2022 at 9:03 am #630610LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 341Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 1987 times
I love this place. It’s CDH… it’s should be called Crossdresser Safe-Haven. 🙂
I guess I just don’t fit in to a label, but labels unfortunately are necessary sometimes to help us define who and where we are in the world. I’ll just make my own, but then I think I’d really be outcast from everywhere lol.
I’m thinking… I want to identify as transcender, for people who have transcended beyond existing as a gender LOL. Instead of MTF, I think I’ll start pushing that I’m MTAAW… Male-to-Any-At-Will. Let’s see how that goes over!
- March 21, 2022 at 11:16 pm #630556LadyRegistered On: September 12, 2021Topics: 33Replies: 341Has thanked: 504 timesBeen thanked: 1987 times
Thank you Donna. I’m not against HRT, and have never voiced any judgement (negative or otherwise) towards those who choose to go that route. Just because (after very careful consideration) I have decided that at this point, I am not going that route does not mean I’m against it for others. I’m supportive either way. But there is so much “emotional attachment” to HRT and Trans. You can’t find one article on trans without it mentioning or suggesting HRT.
Anyhow, thank you for the response. I agree with “stick to who you are”, and that’s really the only thing I can do. I’m just growing tired of the insistence within the trans community that I’m “fake”. It’s gotten to a point of people analyzing my pics and telling me, well insisting actually, that everything I post is fake and faceapp. I curled my hair the other day and I get messages… hey, that’s obviously fake, which filter are you using on faceapp for the hair.
It’s like um, I just posted a video of me dancing and I look exactly the same in it as I did in pics I took the same day! Then they just claim I’m using a woman’s pics and videos. It’s like WTF!!! It just gets worse. The community is just freak’n frustrating.
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