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Hi.
It took some convincing but im back on this site.
My name is Suzanne Dee. Im the better half of my masculine self. 😉
Like many.. im On and Off again. Buy and Purge. Euphoria and Guilt. Pride and Shame.
Im not sure what im looking for exactly.. but i know i want to be free and open with someone(s) about this side of me.
Im shy. Not ready to go out in public for several reasons so please dont push me.
Ive been dressing or wanting to do girly things as far back as i remember but i couldnt look myself in the mirror and admit i was a crossdresser until a few years ago. I actually thought i was trans.. even hoped i was. But that on and off again thing makes me think im really not.
I just want to fit in somewhere. Somewhere that i can be the manly man or kind and gentle woman.
This time i hope to make good friends and feel like i belong.
Hello Susan
I so understand what you’re talking about. I was also trapped in this hellish “Dress up, Shame and Purge” cycle. I’m sure I could fill many wardrobe with everything I’ve purged. I’m so sad when I think about it, I miss some things terribly. I had to throw away more than twenty breast prostheses (and it’s very expensive in the long run…)
I only recently joined this site and I promised myself never to throw away the things I love the most again.
I hope you too can break this infernal cycle
Hugs, Denise
Hello Suzanne,
I can relate to your situation. I have done the purge and purchase game for 40+ years. I have been back for almost 2 years now. This is the first time I’ve promised the lady in me not to shut her out again. I am happier and a better human when I embrace my femininity. IMHO
I am still in thr closet but I keep as much of the woma with me as the daily situation will allow. At this moment I have my Maiden form tummy and tush shape wear and a white cotton sports bra under my Male clothing. Feel free take hit me up anytime you need some one. Hugs and Kisses🤗💋 AmberWell Suzanne welcome home girl the purge thing is so bad for the wallet or purse ha ha .. Please look up old friends as a rekindle thing then look around for some new girls to be friend you got this girlfriend we are all here for you good luck and keep plugging away at Suzanne she is a keeper ha ha ..
Stephanie Bass
Suzanne –
Welcome back – I think at some point we’ve all been there – I know I have until a little over 2 years ago whe n I came out to my wife – now I dress at home when she isn’t here (she doesn’t want to see me dressed) and have embraced my feminine side – hope to see you in chat
XOXO
SuzanneWelcome back ❤
I think the beautiful part about cross dressing is that you don’t need to know all the answers. You just have to dress however makes you feel happy, and sometimes happiness is lipstick and heels
Hi Suzanne I’ve been trying to figure out this in and out thing because I do it so often . Right now I think it’s because deep down we dont want to be cder , but on the other hand it’s something we just cant give up . So we cant live with it and cant live without it , I dont know where that leaves us maybe in a class of our own may God help us all Rhonda
Hi Suzanne,
Welcome back, I hope you make lots of new friends here and get the support you want.
I can relate to a lot of what you say, we question ourselves and it can take time to feel happy in who we are, from experience I can assure you that you can get there. Take your time and make good friends who can offer you help and support.
I am always happy to keep in touch and offer a friendly ear, please feel free to message me anytime.
Tara.
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Hi Suzanna.
I think all of us have purged before and some like me have done so many times over the years. I think when we can finally stop purging then the acceptance begins. If you feel a strong need to purge then its best to just put your things away for a while because at some point you will want them again and it will save you a lot of money.
As far as being comfortable with our fem and masculine self for those who don’t want to transition, we have to find a balance between the two where both can live peacefully within us. It doesn’t have to be all one or the other. For some that balance may be achieved by under dressing in drab or finding more private time to express our girl on a regular basis. A better situation is having an SO who allows us to dress even if they don’t want to see it. Times and places can be arranged. When it comes down to it, only we can find that balance after a lot of reflection and work but it is possible to be at peace with ourselves.
Hi Suzanne, you certainly came to the right place sweetie. I joined in late December last year and I’m loving life here. The girls are all so nice and more than willing to help a sister so don’t be shy, just ask for advice, help…what ever. I look forward to hearing more about you and would love to chat. Take care.
Love,
Trish 💖
Hello Suzanne and welcome back. We have all been there and some still are. Not a bad thing either way. Enjoy the site again.
Chrissy
Well my dear sister, your comment I’m sure is familiar to most of us, in my case, I have gone through the same experience, as you said, on & off again, buy & purge, Euphoria and Guilt, pride and shame…. I should have a wonderful wardrobe and a collection of heels, if I would have had a little patience to hold off before throwing everything away. Oh well and it is more difficult for me, Victoria, as being married and the wife not having the slightest idea of my dark side, well, dark it’s not the right word, as I’m very happy with my femme side. It took me a while to go out, but I have been doing so for the last few years and I absolutely love it. Always doing this alone and enjoying walks in public, now, I’ll be going to a fabulous Wedding with the group of BlueBelles in Ft.Lauderdale and this alone, will be a first timer for me and even thou I’m extremely nervous I’m so looking forward to the experience. All this said for you to encourage your self and enjoy little at a time and I’m sure you’ll love it. Cheers my dear sister Suzanne!!!
Hello Suzanne,
Welcome to our amazing CrossDresserHeaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.
The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrosDresser Heaven.
At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages. You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.
Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.
Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.
Regards,
Terri Anne, Ambassador
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