• Creator
    Topic
  • #643262
    Suzanne Dee
    Participant
    Registered On: May 5, 2022
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 14
    Has thanked: 19 times
    Been thanked: 49 times

    Hi.

    It took some convincing but im back on this site.

    My name is Suzanne Dee.Β  Β Im the better half of my masculine self.Β  Β  😉

    Like many.. im On and Off again.Β  Β Buy and Purge.Β  Β  Euphoria and Guilt.Β  Pride and Shame.

    Im not sure what im looking for exactly.. but i know i want to be free and open with someone(s) about this side of me.

    Im shy.Β  Β Not ready to go out in public for several reasons so please dont push me.

    Ive been dressing or wanting to do girly things as far back as i remember but i couldnt look myself in the mirror and admit i was a crossdresser until a few years ago.Β  Β  I actually thought i was trans.. even hoped i was.Β  Β But that on and off again thing makes me think im really not.

    I just want to fit in somewhere.Β  Β  Somewhere that i can be the manly man or kind and gentle woman.

    This time i hope to make good friends and feel like i belong.

Viewing 17 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #645025
      Terri Anne Knoan
      Ambassador
      Registered On: February 7, 2018
      Topics: 32
      Replies: 1146
      Has thanked: 1762 times
      Been thanked: 2561 times

      Hello Suzanne,

      Welcome to our amazing CrossDresserHeaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.

      The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.

      Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrosDresser Heaven.

      At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages.Β  You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.

      Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.

      Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.

       

      Regards,

      Terri Anne, Ambassador

       

      =========== Link to our public Chat roomΒ  Β ==============

       

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/chat/

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #644348
      Roberta Lane
      Lady
      Registered On: May 10, 2022
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 48
      Has thanked: 125 times
      Been thanked: 154 times

      Hi Suzanne and wishing you a warm welcome to CDH.Like you I am not ready to go out as Roberta yet.Lacking in confidence but I will one day and I hope you do to dear.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #643977
      Victoria Solita
      Lady
      Registered On: January 4, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 14
      Has thanked: 15 times
      Been thanked: 42 times

      Well my dear sister, your comment I’m sure is familiar to most of us, in my case, I have gone through the same experience, as you said, on & off again, buy & purge, Euphoria and Guilt, pride and shame…. I should have a wonderful wardrobe and a collection of heels, if I would have had a little patience to hold off before throwing everything away. Oh well and it is more difficult for me, Victoria, as being married and the wife not having the slightest idea of my dark side, well, dark it’s not the right word, as I’m very happy with my femme side. It took me a while to go out, but I have been doing so for the last few years and I absolutely love it. Always doing this alone and enjoying walks in public, now, I’ll be going to a fabulous Wedding with the group of BlueBelles in Ft.Lauderdale and this alone, will be a first timer for me and even thou I’m extremely nervous I’m so looking forward to the experience. All this said for you to encourage your self and enjoy little at a time and I’m sure you’ll love it. Cheers my dear sister Suzanne!!!

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #643848
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 1466
      Has thanked: 2809 times
      Been thanked: 5046 times

      Welcome back Suzanne.

      Hugs, Liara

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #643956
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Liara.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #643827
      Chrissy Simpson
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: January 14, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 286
      Has thanked: 1670 times
      Been thanked: 868 times

      Hello Suzanne and welcome back.Β  We have all been there and some still are.Β  Not a bad thing either way.Β  Enjoy the site again.

      Chrissy

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #643960
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Chrissy.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #643657
      Trish White
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 2, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 192
      Has thanked: 483 times
      Been thanked: 722 times

      Hi Suzanne, you certainly came to the right place sweetie. I joined in late December last year and I’m loving life here. The girls are all so nice and more than willing to help a sister so don’t be shy, just ask for advice, help…what ever. I look forward to hearing more about you and would love to chat. Take care.

      Love,

      Trish 💖

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #643963
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Trish.

        Everyone is very nice here.Β  Β Its great.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #643652
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 1203
      Has thanked: 7391 times
      Been thanked: 5983 times

      Hi Suzanna.

      I think all of us have purged before and some like me have done so many times over the years. I think when we can finally stop purging then the acceptance begins. If you feel a strong need to purge then its best to just put your things away for a while because at some point you will want them again and it will save you a lot of money.

      As far as being comfortable with our fem and masculine self for those who don’t want to transition, we have to find a balance between the two where both can live peacefully within us. It doesn’t have to be all one or the other. For some that balance may be achieved by under dressing in drab or finding more private time to express our girl on a regular basis. A better situation is having an SO who allows us to dress even if they don’t want to see it. Times and places can be arranged. When it comes down to it, only we can find that balance after a lot of reflection and work but it is possible to be at peace with ourselves.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #643967
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Michelle.

        Ive not purged in a good while and my wife knows i dress.

        Perhaps my situation isnt ideal. But its better than nothing.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #643649
      Tara Ryan
      Lady
      Registered On: April 20, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 434
      Has thanked: 1362 times
      Been thanked: 1708 times

      Hi Suzanne,

      Welcome back, I hope you make lots of new friends here and get the support you want.

      I can relate to a lot of what you say, we question ourselves and it can take time to feel happy in who we are, from experience I can assure you that you can get there. Β Take your time and make good friends who can offer you help and support.

      I am always happy to keep in touch and offer a friendly ear, please feel free to message me anytime.

      Tara.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #643968
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Tara.

         

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #643626
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 34
      Replies: 6114
      Has thanked: 11644 times
      Been thanked: 12397 times

      Suzanne welcome back sweetie..

      Stephanie 🌷

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #643440
      rhonda
      Lady
      Registered On: October 13, 2015
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 135
      Has thanked: 1248 times
      Been thanked: 310 times

      Hi Suzanne I’ve been trying to figure out this in and out thing because I do it so often . Right now I think it’s because deep down we dont want to be cder , but on the other hand it’s something we just cant give up . So we cant live with it and cant live without it , I dont know where that leaves us maybe in a class of our own may God help us all Rhonda

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #643971
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Rhonda.

        This life isnt something i can give up.Β  I dont want to either.Β  Β I just want balance and acceptance.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #643414
      Foxy Femme
      Lady
      Registered On: April 25, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 32
      Has thanked: 290 times
      Been thanked: 174 times

      Welcome back ❤

      I think the beautiful part about cross dressing is that you don’t need to know all the answers. You just have to dress however makes you feel happy, and sometimes happiness is lipstick and heels

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #643406
      Suzanne Martin
      Hostess
      Registered On: January 8, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 70
      Has thanked: 101 times
      Been thanked: 228 times

      Suzanne –

      Welcome back – I think at some point we’ve all been there – I know I have until a little over 2 years ago whe n I came out to my wife – now I dress at home when she isn’t here (she doesn’t want to see me dressed) and have embraced my feminine side – hope to see you in chat

      XOXO
      Suzanne

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #643411
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Hi Suzanne.

        Im sorry your wife doesnt want to see you dressed.Β  My wife makes me feel badly when i dress too.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #643398
      Stephanie Roberts
      Baroness
      Registered On: May 20, 2020
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 1198
      Has thanked: 10764 times
      Been thanked: 4755 times

      Hi Suzanne, and welcome to CDH!
      It’s so lovely to meet you.
      Love and hugs from Stephanie 💖

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #643412
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Stephanie.

        Im really hoping to make some good friends.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #643345
      Stephanie Bass
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 3428
      Has thanked: 49308 times
      Been thanked: 12223 times

      Well Suzanne welcome home girl the purge thing is so bad for the wallet or purse ha ha .. Please look up old friends as a rekindle thing then look around for some new girls to be friendΒ  you got this girlfriend we are all here for you good luck and keep plugging away at Suzanne she is a keeper ha ha ..

      Stephanie Bass

      • #643417
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Stephanie.

        I will do my best for purging..Β  ive been pretty good about it.. but i really need some new outfits so there is aleays that advantage to purging.Β  Lol.

        Thanks again.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #643320
      Amber Lynn
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 30, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 18
      Has thanked: 31 times
      Been thanked: 61 times

      Hello Suzanne,
      I can relate to your situation. I have done the purge and purchase game for 40+ years. I have been back for almost 2 years now. This is the first time I’ve promised the lady in me not to shut her out again. I am happier and a better human when I embrace my femininity. IMHO
      I am still in thr closet but I keep as much of the woma with me as the daily situation will allow. At this moment I have my Maiden form tummy and tush shape wear and a white cotton sports bra under my Male clothing. Feel free take hit me up anytime you need some one. Hugs and Kisses🤗💋 Amber

      • #643433
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Amber.

        I too feel like im a better person when im feeling more feminine.

        Suzanne is my better half.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #643311
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 92
      Replies: 5015
      Has thanked: 7258 times
      Been thanked: 12739 times

      Hi Suzanne,

      Welcome back to CDH.

      Alice

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #643972
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Alice.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #643280
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      Hello Susan

      I so understand what you’re talking about. I was also trapped in this hellish “Dress up, Shame and Purge” cycle. I’m sure I could fill many wardrobe with everything I’ve purged. I’m so sad when I think about it, I miss some things terribly. I had to throw away more than twenty breast prostheses (and it’s very expensive in the long run…)

      I only recently joined this site and I promised myself never to throw away the things I love the most again.

      I hope you too can break this infernal cycle

      Hugs, Denise

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #643973
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Denise.

        Ive not purged in a while and hope i never do again.

        This site sure makes me feel like comfortable with my fem side.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #643276
      Christina Isme
      Lady
      Registered On: April 8, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 91
      Has thanked: 87 times
      Been thanked: 279 times

      Well here you will fit in it takes one step at a time for some people me I was full time since I was 9 to know at 62, and transgender at 20 you to talk with people that accept it like in this site and be determined first time out is most important it’s the time you feel the water after that you want more and can’t get enough. Well just go into the chatt room and get to know everyone and welcome to the site

      • #643974
        Suzanne Dee
        Lady
        Registered On: May 5, 2022
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 14
        Has thanked: 19 times
        Been thanked: 49 times

        Thank you Christina.

         

        1 user thanked author for this post.
Viewing 17 reply threads
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