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    • #604316
      Rhonda Lee
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 115
      Has thanked: 133 times
      Been thanked: 550 times

      Erika,

      I’d bet the great majority of crossdressers have purged at least once.  If we took  a poll, my bet would be that at least 80% of us have purged, only to discover that does not stop the urges from returning and rebuilding. There is the constant conflict between accepting who we are and who we and others believe we should be in order to be acceptable. Hopefully we can all reach a level where we accept ourselves for who we are. That’s the biggest hurdle. If we can’t accept ourselves, it is tough to accept others.

      Secondarily, in my mind, is deciding whether to act in a way that causes us to be more acceptable to others, even if doing so defies our own desires. That is especially difficult if the others include those who are our loved ones… our spouses in particular. Emerson, Shakespeare, and others have said it best: “To thine own self be true, for then thou cannot be false to any man.” Search for and hold onto your truth, whatever you do.

      Sometimes we have to make personal sacrifices for those we love. Usually, however, a loving relationship is  based on honest communication and desire of both parties to please the other. Compromises and boundaries are usually achievable in loving relationships. It takes a lot of effort and does not always play out well.

      I hope you can hold onto the person you know yourself to be while navigating the difficulties that can create in relationships. Most have learned that purging is not a long-term solution, although it DOES allow us to shop again and rebuild our wardrobes… not all bad! I hope you find a way to be who you are, without regret, and this turns into a win/win situation!!

       

       

       

       

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #604268
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 28
      Replies: 1532
      Has thanked: 10069 times
      Been thanked: 7543 times

      You can check out but you can never leave….. true!

      Purged many times over the years and always went back stronger… happy to say I’ve reached a stage where I will never purge again.

      Welcome back sister!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604267
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
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      You might need a bit a professional advice and to open up to that trusted person, just to get through that. The release of issues is something I did when younger, I built up stuff that caused me to need counselling due to panic attacks and breakdowns. There might be stuff in your thinking that is not helping you to self accept. You can work up to THE issue with them. And we can all advise you of course.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604255
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 35
      Replies: 6386
      Has thanked: 12886 times
      Been thanked: 13282 times

      Erika welcome back sweetie

      Stephanie 🌷

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604242
      Brielle
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 487
      Has thanked: 2444 times
      Been thanked: 2053 times

      Hi Erika, I too purged several times over the years. At the start of 2021 I bought all the things I wanted to begin dressing en femme again. But this time something different was going on inside me. I knew I couldn’t purge again, wanted to remove most of my body hair, and start to allow my femme side to breathe free.

      It is a shame that we can’t be free to live as we think is best for us. I hate that society and religion force us into a box of our own making that never lets in the light of love and acceptance. Erika, you have all that and more here in this sisterhood! Keep the faith and be brave!

      Hugs,

      Brie

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604238
      Liara Wolfe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 1608
      Has thanked: 3157 times
      Been thanked: 5438 times

      Welcome back.

      Hugs, Liara

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604172
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
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      Welcome back, Erika.  I believe that I have a good idea of what you’re experiencing.  I’ve left CDH and returned many times.  It’s good to have you back.  Please, reach out for help whenever you need it.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604169
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
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      Hi Erica

      Plese don’t purge again, at least talk to us first.

      You aren’t abnormal
      You aren’t doing anything wrong
      You have nothing to feel ashamed about.

      Connie
      xxx

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604159
      Joanna Jacklin
      Lady
      Registered On: September 4, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 29
      Has thanked: 22 times
      Been thanked: 117 times

      Hi Erika
      Can only identify with what you shared..Itcis ridiculous really that we have to put ourselves through these tortuous cycles. One day the world will be less complex and more accepting of our identities. I already see growing signs but many of us are trapped in situations that force our hands. Always good to talk and share and be in solidarity with one another
      Joanna x

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604062
      Stephanie Bass
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 3956
      Has thanked: 56525 times
      Been thanked: 14018 times

      Hi Erika nice meeting you and so happy you found and joined us girls here on the best CD site on the internet so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself here.. As a new sister and family member you are welcome with open arms into our home as well as yours now also .. So as reading thru you have been welcomed from many ladies that i cant add to there welcome so i will say please join in the forums and posts ask many questions and chat with many ladies here there is a wealth of knowledge here to learn from good luck..

      Hugs Stephanie Bass

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604047
      Sylvia
      Lady
      Registered On: October 10, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 667
      Has thanked: 16894 times
      Been thanked: 2759 times

      Dear Erika ,

      Welcome back Sister !

      I hope you don’t purge again.
      Please accept Erika in your Life ,
      She is a wonderful part of you , and we all want to
      get to know her better !

      I hope you will enjoy yourself here Erika ,
      See you on the Forums ,

      Love Sylvia.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604008
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 95
      Replies: 5428
      Has thanked: 7486 times
      Been thanked: 14001 times

      Hi Erika,

      Welcome back to CDH!
      Alice

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603959
      Terri Anne
      Ambassador
      Registered On: February 7, 2018
      Topics: 32
      Replies: 1287
      Has thanked: 1908 times
      Been thanked: 2788 times

      Welcome Back Erika,

      So glad you have returned to us here. Feel free to explore to your heart’s content.

      The warmth and hospitality of our community is just awesome and certainly welcoming.

      Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on our site.

      At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages.  You can find the link on each member’s Profile page.

      Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.

      Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each.

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/

      Regards,

      Terri Anne, Ambassador

      =================================================

       

      ========== Membership Levels ============

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/

      =========================================

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603951
      Alanna Ross
      Registered On: January 2, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 31
      Has thanked: 73 times
      Been thanked: 147 times

      I am new here but I can say we all support you.

      Welcome back.

       

      Alanna

      xox

       

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603945
      Jennifer Sullivan
      Lady
      Registered On: December 31, 2021
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 122
      Has thanked: 188 times
      Been thanked: 415 times

      Hi  Erika I have never purged but had hide Jennifer I said I am going to continue to be me keep up the faith love you Jennifer Sullivan

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603943
      Paulette Parfois
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 17, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 574
      Has thanked: 1934 times
      Been thanked: 2207 times

      Hi Erika, I know where you are coming from. I crossdressed as a young man, then tried to deny my desire for almost fifty years. Now I am back with even more passion as Paulette. What really helped is the acceptance I have gotten from my wife, family and friends. The big turning point was when I realized I didn’t really care what others thought, then good things began to happen! I certainly can understand your challenges being as tall as you are, but don’t forget there are many CIS ladies just as tall. I have two good friends who are as tall as you and frankly they are stunning! Welcome back to the sisterhood! Hugs, Paulette

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603923
      Tara Ryan
      Lady
      Registered On: April 20, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 525
      Has thanked: 1788 times
      Been thanked: 1961 times

      Hi Erika,

      Welcome back, I am sure you will find lots of support here.  I am always happy to chat or just to offer a sympathetic ear, please feel free to message me.

      Tara.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603919
      Krista Writeme
      Lady
      Registered On: August 22, 2019
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 39
      Has thanked: 226 times
      Been thanked: 165 times

      you will find all the support you want or need here. welcome and ask all the questions you want.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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