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Hello,
I stumbled across this forum when searching for answers for stuff and everyone seems really nice and understanding.
Little bit about me, I’ve been on and off dressing in secret for most of my teenage and adult life but I just don’t really know where it sits in my life….?
Just wondering what the boundary’s for asking questions are on here? My brain is all a bit confuddled!! 😣😂 Hoping I can find some answers on here!! ☺️Xx
Welcome in and ask away – I doubt you’ll hit any boundary. There’s plenty of help and advice on hand.
Connie
xxx
Lexi welcome. It’s wonderful to have you here with us in this wonderful community . Enjoy browsing through many of our well written forums. Ask your questions as there is many here to meet , talk with and for some develop wonderful friendships. A caring place I hope you enjoy being part of. Very nice meeting you
Stephanie 🌹
Thank you all so much for the warm welcome!
I’ve been experimenting with womens clothes ever since I was young (trying on mums skirt etc, 😣😂) and it has been on and off for years, sometimes the urge will last a few weeks and then disappear others a day or two. The urges seem to come at times of stress or change?
I don’t really find this a problem. I’m not hurting anyone after all and it’s done in the comfort of my own home when my family are out which is how I feel comfortable doing it. Where my issue lies is when I get the urges, I get the urge to use toys on myself. It becomes a sexual thing. I find myself fantasising about being with another trans person with a toy in me and sort of loose all control. I do enjoy it.
However, this in turn afterwards makes me feel ashamed of myself and leaves me feeling a bit confused and knocks my confidence when making love to my wife. It’s almost like I can’t separate the two aspects in my brain and understand that I can enjoy both. It’s almost like my brain wants me to pick one way of life and I don’t really want to…..
Does anyone else feel like this or go through a similar thought process? Is it a normal train of thought!?
xx
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Hi Lexi and welcome.
I don’t have answers for you but you seem like most all of us with having conflict at times. Ask any questions you like but it is you who will have to settle things in your mind as best as you can. Everyone is a bit different. Unfortunately conflict comes with the territory. Its not easy being who we are.
Hi Lexi. The shame comes from societal pressures and ideals. It is very difficult to overcome. As you say, you (and we) are not hurting anyone. You may have to give serious thought to you marriage and pay special attention to your wife.
It may help to find a therapist who deals with transgender issues, if you can’t work it out.
I wish you the best on your journey.
Much love,
Raquel
Lexi,
First off, welcome to CDH!
Secondly, ask any questions you like. That’s probably why we’re all here, to understand ourselves better and there’s no better way to learn than by asking questions.
Lastly, there is nothing wrong with you for having the feelings and desires that you do. A big part of our society wants us to think that what we’re doing (enjoying our feminine halves) is somehow morally wrong. I’m sure that everyone here can relate to some degree with your desires which means we’re either all wrong or none of us are. I’m betting on the latter.
Hugs sister, Jill
Lexi all those questions you have – and more- have going through the heads of those on this site. To your questions I have found the urges go in waves and with each one I seem to try something new or push my boundaries a little more. Along the way I have learned some thing s that don’t work for me but many more things that were “on the other side of that line in the sand” are now on my side of the sand – a couple of which you touched on. (Or maybe that line just took a detour?). All of it has made me evolve and grow while knowing there is much more to be had. I look forward to that continued evolution. You are in a welcoming place here. So ask away.
Hi Lexi,
Welcome to our amazing site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore to your heart’s content.
The warmth and hospitality of our community is just awesome.
Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on our site.
At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages. You can find the link on each member’s Profile page.
Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.
Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each.
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/
Regards,
Terri Anne, Ambassador
Hi Lexi, welcome to cdh. Well, your second post brought up some rather involved issues. How much you decide to do on your own without your telling your spouse anything is strictly up to you. Some here (like myself) have talked it over a little, some a lot, and some not at all (at least yet). And I certainly can’t tell you if you should or if there’s even a right way. It’s something you will have to work out by yourself, or as some suggest, perhaps seeing a therapist may be to some benefit.
It wouldn’t surprise me if some here are as or even more involved than you, but with the level you suggest, you will have to decide for yourself how much it may affecting your marriage and even more so what may happen if your spouse does find out before you at least confide in her about some of your thoughts and feelings.
I do know my first spouse would not have taken kindly to me expressing any of my desires. I believe the marriage I’m in (for over 40 years now) is rather stable as I have confided to a certain degree with her and she was accepting and I keep it discreet. And more so, I seriously try not to let it affect our relationship, and so far it doesn’t appear to be doing that (thank goodness).
And that is something you will have to determine absolutely on your own – how much of a relationship you should be bringing to your marriage with what your spouse may be needing and how much you need to express your own desires.
I certainly wish you the best.
Hugs,
ChloëHi Lexi!
It’s not so much the question that raises eyebrows, but the answers that follow.
I always watch with delicious delight when someone tactfully breaches the no-nos: religion, politics and sex.
Keep the car running!
Just kidding…
The warmth, honesty and love is greater than I ever anticipated. I and haven’t been here that long myself. I’ve laughed and I’ve cried and laughed some more!
Enjoy the ride!
Hugs, Barb 🤗
Hi Lexi it’s nice to meet you X
Just go ahead and ask any questions you like the girls will get back to you and answer any questions you ask X
Hugs Roz X
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