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  • #585733
    Lacey White
    Participant
    Registered On: December 8, 2021
    Topics: 6
    Replies: 172
    Has thanked: 322 times
    Been thanked: 766 times

    Hello I am Lacey. I am here to learn more about crossdressing and more about myself in the process. I am new to all this. I have never cross dressed as an adult, I don’t own any “women’s” clothing yet, well until this afternoon when Amazon delivers a few things for me to try, I don’t know anything about make-up. Any tips or guidance in the right direction for things is appreciated.

    I apologize. I am about to over share…

    A bit about me. I was raised in a super Catholic Military family. When I was in my early to mid teens I used to try on my mother’s clothing and play dress up when no one else was around. I’d be the only one home on school nights for 3 to 4 hours. No make up or anything, I was paranoid of getting caught. Around 16 or so I stopped I was busy and never really had time alone after that. I was busy with football, wrestling, and the Boy Scouts. At 18 I joined the military and served 10 years. I would have the occasional urge, but never acted on it, and it always passed. I’d feel guilty about it for a while, questioning why I had feelings like that.

    Fast forward to years later, I am married to a beautiful and accepting woman who’s into a bit of kink and we have fun with it. I still have the occasional urge, but don’t ever act on it, and never say anything about it. Things are pretty normal for us. We can’t have kids, so we just enjoy each other.

    A few ago my performance drops off dramatically. I keep putting off going to the doctor about it, because “It will sort itself out.” At this point I have no drive to do anything at all. We have no sex life, whatsoever, and my wife finally convinces me to go to a doctor. I get diagnosed with low testosterone. I go on testosterone treatments, and about 6 months into treatment the urges to dress up come back and they come back strong. I keep it to myself and bottle it up.

    I’d see cute things my wife bought, and wonder about how they would feel to wear. I’d buy her cute things just to have her wear them. There is no way I could try on her clothing. She is 4’11” and can have problem finding clothes that fit her right to begin with. All this time. I try to sort out to myself what these feelings I am having all mean. I still don’t have those answers.

    As the treatments go on we get a bit more open with things, our intimate life gets better, but I still don’t mention wanting to wear women’s clothing, either in or out of the bed room.

    Last week my wife tells me some things she wants to try, and I finally say the words I was paranoid to say, “I really have the urge to cross dress and I want to explore that, alone at first and then together.”
    Now my wife is an amazing woman. I’ve been struggling to say anything to her for about 2 years even though I was 98% sure if I said anything it would be okay. We have trans-female friends, we enjoy drag shows, my wife is pan-sexual and has said multiple time that she loves me for me. I got hung up on that 2% though. Like really hung up.

    I tell her, and she gets this look on her face, and I am sweating bullets now, and waiting for her to say anything. It seems to take forever. I am worried I hit the 2% I’d been plaguing myself over. Then she says, “Oh Hell yeah! This is going to be awesome!”

    We spend the rest of the night discussing things. I tell her I don’t want it out there. I don’t want anyone to know and that it was hard for me to even bring it up to her.

    I am a private person to begin with. I don’t really show emotion or get worked up about things and I don’t talk about my feelings really at all. I tell her I don’t want to be out at this point. I want to dip my foot in and discover things about myself and then together as a couple. She says she understands and we order a few things from Amazon, mainly just costumes, a wig, and a bit of female undergarments for me to give a try. She sends me some make up tutorials and tells me to feel free to use her massive make up collection to play with.

    So that is where I am now, I’ve spent the last week or so looking for information online about crossdressing, which is how I found this site and waiting for Amazon to make a delivery. Also working up the nerve to actually try on what we ordered.

Viewing 14 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #588586
      Rachel B
      Duchess
      Registered On: December 8, 2019
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 18
      Has thanked: 2 times
      Been thanked: 194 times

      This made me smile, thank you Lacey. Life gets hard and messy and complicated – and then moments like this happen and all of a sudden things are brighter.

      I’ve already come out to my wife and a few friends. Next up – the rest of the world.

      I’m new to this site but have found lots of much needed love, warmth and support so far. I know you will find the same.

      Best of luck on your exciting journey and I’m here if you ever want to chat.

      Love,

      Rach

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #586500
      Charlotte Walker
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 18, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 574
      Has thanked: 2569 times
      Been thanked: 1907 times

      Hi Lacey
      Welcome to CDH you will love it here.

      Hugs Charlotte

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #586510
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 172
        Has thanked: 322 times
        Been thanked: 766 times

        Thanks I am looking forward to it and to learning more.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #586455
      Lynne Sobe
      Lady
      Registered On: June 2, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 21
      Has thanked: 16 times
      Been thanked: 105 times

      Hello Lacey,

      Hope you can work through the mental thing.  I feel from your comments you should just go for it.

       

      Lynne

       

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #586488
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 172
        Has thanked: 322 times
        Been thanked: 766 times

        Thanks. I am sure I will, and probably very soon. While I am nervous about it. She seems fairly excited and was actually talking about, when I am ready, working on pair cosplay costumes when we go to conventions like Harley and Ivy or Asuka and Rei. Which would have me out and about in a safe and accepting environment “in costume”.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #586217
      Teralynn Loving
      Lady
      Registered On: October 17, 2019
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 1230
      Has thanked: 12162 times
      Been thanked: 2604 times

      Welcome to our wonderful online community Lacey. Wow! That was one fine introduction post. I am going to send you a more detailed welcoming message when I have more time, but just wanted to officially welcome you and let you know you are going to love this site and the members of it. – Blessings from Teralynn

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #586291
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 172
        Has thanked: 322 times
        Been thanked: 766 times

        Thank you very much. I look forward to your welcoming post when you have some time.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #586011
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 90
      Replies: 4650
      Has thanked: 6915 times
      Been thanked: 11718 times

      Hi Lacey,

      Welcome to CDH!

      Alice

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585987
      Lynne Sobe
      Lady
      Registered On: June 2, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 21
      Has thanked: 16 times
      Been thanked: 105 times

      Lacy welcome,

      Since your SO is into it, ask her to pick out something she would like to see you in. Do your makeup, the best you can. Dress and present yourself. Ask her, judgment on what she sees and what could be better.

      After the discussion ask for her help.  Maybe she will give you tips on hair, makeup and if the style works. Maybe she will re-do makeup, ask for tips as to what works best.  You know she has been doing this for a long time. Make it fun, so both of you enjoy the experience.

      Wishing you the best.

      Lynne

       

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #586173
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 172
        Has thanked: 322 times
        Been thanked: 766 times

        We’ve talked about the make up and she’s actually pretty excited to do it when I am ready. It’s still baby steps for me at this point, and while I know she is into it, there are still some mental hurdles I have to get over before we get to that step.

        As for clothing, we did a bit of that choosing together, though they were mainly Halloween costume type things. We both have a bit of a punk / goth aesthetic in our everyday clothing and that is the direction I am leaning in for my new clothing as well. She has sent me some links to things she would like to see me in, so I think when I am ready to be fully dressed in front of her I’ll make sure to wear one of those.

        She did paint my toe nails while we were on the couch last night watching The Great and we both played around with the wig that was delivered yesterday, trying to get it right. I like it. It’s shoulder length purple with some pinkish highlights. I think it will be fun to wear.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585982
      Stephanie Bass
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 18
      Replies: 2782
      Has thanked: 39993 times
      Been thanked: 10093 times

      Hi lacey nice to meet you and so happy you found and joined us here on the best CD site on the internet so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself here  .. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also .. So many ladies here have said with there welcome i cant add to them except to say so nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime .. Having a wife who supports you is such a bonus in your life as well as i do also came out to my wife just after marrage which was 38 years ago.. We are here for you girl and never forget that if you need a question answered just ask we all love to chat hugs Lacey ..

      Stephanie Bass

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #586174
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 172
        Has thanked: 322 times
        Been thanked: 766 times

        Thank you very much. I am excited to learn a bit more. My wife is an angel, and I am lucky to have her in my life.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585960
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 32
      Replies: 5793
      Has thanked: 10965 times
      Been thanked: 11386 times

      Lacy thankyou for sharing your intro,,I enjoyed reading it.  Now start experiencing a wonderful place to express yourself with many like yourself. Share experiences and always discovering more from others. Our ladies here are fabulous in helping out, from advice to tips on improving ones self to the emotional feelings we are experiencing .Make friendships and feel free to contact us if there’s anything that you may need. Happy to meet you and enjoy being part of a community that cares.

      Stephanie 🌹

       

    • #585875
      Sylvia
      Lady
      Registered On: October 10, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 569
      Has thanked: 13645 times
      Been thanked: 2495 times

      Dear Lacy ,

      Welcome to CDH !

      I think you are exactly where you need to be for the beginning of your Feminine journey.
      Looks like you are finally going to give in to those feelings you have always surpressed
      since you were 16.
      This is great, I am so happy for you !
      Also having a supporting wife will make things much easier I think , so have a wonderful time
      trying on the things from Amazone , and If you like , tell us something about how it all went.

      Love Sylvia.

      • #586180
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 172
        Has thanked: 322 times
        Been thanked: 766 times

        Thank you very much. Well I tried on some things last night for a bit. The under garments all fit perfectly so those measurements were right, however some of the other items is seems like either our measurements were off or there’s were.

        I did bring it up to my wife and she said, “Welcome to women’s clothing were sizes are just made up, switch from brand to brand, and where pockets are forbidden.”

        I will say Amazon Try before you buy is a bit of a god send for this though.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585832
      Terri Anne Knoan
      Ambassador
      Registered On: February 7, 2018
      Topics: 32
      Replies: 861
      Has thanked: 1462 times
      Been thanked: 1906 times

      Hello Lacey,

      Welcome to our amazing site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.

      The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.

      Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrossDresser Heaven.

      At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages.  You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.

      Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.

      Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/

      Regards,

      Terri Anne, Ambassador

      =========== Link to our public Chat room   ==============

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/chat/

    • #585818
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 758
      Has thanked: 2827 times
      Been thanked: 3857 times

      Thank you for sharing and, with a wonderful partner, the real you can blossom.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #586182
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 172
        Has thanked: 322 times
        Been thanked: 766 times

        Thank you very much. My wife is amazing.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585809
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 969
      Has thanked: 1858 times
      Been thanked: 3780 times

      Thanks for sharing that wonderful story Lacy and welcome to CDH.

      Hugs, Liara

      • #586201
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 172
        Has thanked: 322 times
        Been thanked: 766 times

        Thank you very much. I am looking forward to learning more.

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585785
      Tara Ryan
      Lady
      Registered On: April 20, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 287
      Has thanked: 818 times
      Been thanked: 1163 times

      Hi Lacey,

      Welcome, what a fascinating introduction. I too have a supportive wife and it is such a wonderful thing.  I am sure you will make lots of friends here. I am always happy to chat so feel free to message me anytime.

      Enjoy your purchases from Amazon.

      Tara.

      • #586186
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 172
        Has thanked: 322 times
        Been thanked: 766 times

        Thank you very much. Yeah, I probably over shared a bit. I don’t know. It was just kind of nice to get it all out there though. Like when I told my wife though it was very scary, but felt good afterwards.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585755
      Connie Twirl
      Lady
      Registered On: August 18, 2021
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 591
      Has thanked: 1062 times
      Been thanked: 2712 times

      You have no idea how lucky you are to have your wife on side.

      You’re going to have so much fun if you can take that last step. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it doesn’t make you any less masculine. Go for it. Make the most of your opportunity.

      Welcome aboard.

      Connie

      xxx

      • #586187
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 172
        Has thanked: 322 times
        Been thanked: 766 times

        Thank you very much. I am indeed very lucky to have my wife. I think we can have a lot of fun together with this, but I have to work through my mental hurdles first. A lot of that I think is I was raised Catholic and all I got out of it was a guilt complex and plaid obsession.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585741
      Marti
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 5, 2019
      Topics: 53
      Replies: 841
      Has thanked: 4129 times
      Been thanked: 4001 times

      Welcome Lacy,

      The first steps can seem to be the hardest, you’ve already achieved so much. Finding your way here was one of those things. Cdh is safe, it’s friendly, and populated by sympathetic souls. Jump in just as soon as you like!

      Marti xxx

      • #586190
        Lacey White
        Lady
        Registered On: December 8, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 172
        Has thanked: 322 times
        Been thanked: 766 times

        Thank you. I have been doing some reading and looking around. I popped into the chat for a few minutes, but apparently the IPad doesn’t really like it at all.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
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