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  • #604747
    Jay
    Participant
    Registered On: January 5, 2022
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 0
    Has thanked: 8 times
    Been thanked: 31 times

    Not really sure what to say here. I’m very new, and very private about dressing. As a young boy I was infatuated with womens clothing. As I got older I occasionally would wear my wifes in private. This past year, my wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I started wearing her things at home and it was a huge comfort. After her passing, in a short period of time I have aquired quite a bit of my own. I dress everynight after work, usually underwear, leggings, tops, etc. They have become my comfort clothes, my anti-anxiety clothes. I do have a couple dresses, and I saved some of her things, even though they are big on me. I know my story is probably different than most here, and I’m honestly not sure I even belong.

     

    Thanks for listening, J

    • This topic was modified 4 months ago by Jay.
Viewing 27 reply threads
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    Replies
    • #606456
      Michelle Doherty
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 1, 2022
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 277
      Has thanked: 99 times
      Been thanked: 1113 times

      Hi J

      First of all, i am so very sorry for your loss.

      Of course you belong here. You obviously feel most comfortable when dressed as a lady. Given this started when you were at a young age, perhaps your true self is coming out again.

      Besides dressing, do you do have any other female traits or desires ?

      Love
      Michelle

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #606454
      Emily Butters
      Baroness
      Registered On: January 9, 2022
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 5
      Has thanked: 14 times
      Been thanked: 79 times

      Hi J, i am very new here too, and i am a partner of a cross dresser. It is my understanding that people dress for any number of reasons. The reason people are here isnt about the ‘why’, its the support, guidance, and shared understanding that brings everyone together in this safe space. Please feel welcomed.

      Sorry for your loss – remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Whatever helps bring you comfort during such a difficult time. take care of yourself and its good youve reached out.

      Emily xx

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #605005
      Terri Anne Knoan
      Ambassador
      Registered On: February 7, 2018
      Topics: 32
      Replies: 1172
      Has thanked: 1785 times
      Been thanked: 2604 times

      Hello Jay,

      Welcome to our amazing CrossDresserHeaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.

      The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.

      Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrosDresser Heaven.

      At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages.  You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.

      Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.

      Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/

       

      Regards,

      Terri Anne, Ambassador

       

      =========== Link to our public Chat room   ==============

       

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/chat/

       

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #605004
      Terri Anne Knoan
      Ambassador
      Registered On: February 7, 2018
      Topics: 32
      Replies: 1172
      Has thanked: 1785 times
      Been thanked: 2604 times

      Hello Jay,

      Welcome to our amazing CrossDresserHeaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.

      The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.

      Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrosDresser Heaven.

      At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages.  You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.

      Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.

      Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat, Groups, etc.

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/

       

      Regards,

      Terri Anne, Ambassador

       

      =========== Link to our public Chat room   ==============

       

      https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/chat/

       

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #604965
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 1484
      Has thanked: 2846 times
      Been thanked: 5099 times

      Sorry for your loss.

      Hugs, Liara

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #604954
      Dee Nash
      Lady
      Registered On: November 7, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 255
      Has thanked: 1612 times
      Been thanked: 1074 times

      Yes you belong hun x

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604909
      Michaela Jane
      Lady
      Registered On: December 9, 2016
      Topics: 30
      Replies: 410
      Has thanked: 531 times
      Been thanked: 1199 times

      Welcome Jay, you are certainly not the only one and I am so sorry for your loss. It’s 5 years since I lost my lovely wife to the big C and I have never got rid of a single piece of her clothing, or anything else of hers. You are not alone in wearing her clothes either. I wear my wifes clothes often, sometimes daily, some fit me well even though I was head & shoulders above her. A number of her tops fit me and I wear them often, her panties fit me and in these cold winter months I wear them daily. Her bras actually fit me although the cup size is a little bigger than I like but the hug is the best! I, like you, have plenty of my own femme clothes but the comfort derived from wearing wifeys stuff is beyond price.

      You will get lots of love & support here.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604891
      Alanna Ross
      Registered On: January 2, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 31
      Has thanked: 73 times
      Been thanked: 136 times

      Sorry for your loss Jay.

      Glad you found CDH and you do belong here.

      Alanna

      xo

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604857
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      How sad! Thankyou for sharing such a personal thing.

      Of course you belong here. We come in all shapes, sizes and inclinations, so I’m sure you’ll find a place and someone to listen.

      Welcome in

      Connie
      xxx

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604856
      Suze Silklegs
      Registered On: December 30, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 12
      Has thanked: 13 times
      Been thanked: 74 times

      Hey Jay, Thanks for sharing; very touching. I, too, am widowed; ten years now. The way you’re drawn to wearing your late wife’s clothes as a way to be close to hear is beautiful. I didn’t have a chance to do that because the day after my wife died, as a “favor,” my & her sister cleared out her wardrobe.

      I’ve enjoyed CD’ing on & off all my life, and like you, find great comfort and relaxation in coming home to my private apt snd slipping into something soft & sexy. I often spend the evening dressed as well as sleep in something girly, too.

      We all have our reasons for doing this. For me it’s to feel smooth and sexy; my own li’l secret. For you, it’s also about maintaining a connection.

      That’s so admirable. Be proud of yourself. Nameste.

      Suze

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604855
      Stephanie Roberts
      Baroness
      Registered On: May 20, 2020
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 1198
      Has thanked: 10770 times
      Been thanked: 4754 times

      Hi Jay! Welcome to CDH!
      I am so sorry for the loss of your wife.
      CDH is certainly a place full of support and love from a wonderful group of ladies.
      So nice to meet you, and thank you for sharing your story.
      Love and hugs from Stephanie

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604852
      Roberta Broussard
      Baroness
      Registered On: July 20, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 239
      Has thanked: 3556 times
      Been thanked: 1129 times

      Hi Jay, Welcome to CDH. Its a great place to find understanding and compassion from a truly wonderful group. I lost my wife to the same condition, so understand some of what you are going thru.

      I’m happy that you are finding some comfort and putting a smile back in your heart.

      Huggs

      Roberta

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604851
      Tara Ryan
      Lady
      Registered On: April 20, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 451
      Has thanked: 1417 times
      Been thanked: 1754 times

      Hi Jay,

      I am so sorry to hear about your loss,

      The girls here are really friendly and supportive, I hope you make lots of friends and find some comfort.

      Please feel free to message me anytime if you wish to chat or to just to let your thoughts out.

      Take care,

      Tara.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604845
      Fredrika Jones
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 24, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 363
      Has thanked: 449 times
      Been thanked: 1226 times

      I don’t have a significant other, so I don’t to worry about non-acceptance, but not having a partner has it’s down side, too.

      This is a great place. We’re all equals here, and we all support each other – take a look around!

      Fredrika XOXOX

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604837
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      Hello Jay,
      I felt I just had to say hi. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear wife. I too lost my partner a year ago and I know how you must be feeling. I have dressed most of my life and since the loss of my partner I have kept some of her clothes which thankfully fit me. I feel as if I am close to her when I wear her things. It is my comfort blanket. If you ever want to talk about anything please drop me a line. We are part of an amazingly loving community so don’t ever feel alone.
      All my love……Melina xx

    • #604798
      Requal Joanne
      Lady
      Registered On: December 15, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 500
      Has thanked: 538 times
      Been thanked: 1662 times

      Hi Jay and welcome to this Heavenly address of wonderful and supportive people.   I am sadden to read of the passing of your wife.   I am pleased that you found this address where you can converse with many persons with the similar interests as yours.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604796
      Jennifer Sullivan
      Lady
      Registered On: December 31, 2021
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 116
      Has thanked: 177 times
      Been thanked: 408 times

      Jay
      Let me say at the outset how sorry I am at the loss of you dear wife.
      You definitely belong here I just joined on dec 31 and find everyone here to be very friendly. All of us girls here will give you the support you need. Right now I giving you a huge hug message me anytime with questions

      Peace and love Jennifer

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604795
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 788
      Has thanked: 17408 times
      Been thanked: 2831 times

      Hi J

      I am very sorry for your loss. You have found a great place for support. Feel free to reach out if you need to talk.
      Lara

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604788
      Brielle Ross
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 409
      Has thanked: 2047 times
      Been thanked: 1810 times

      Hi Jay, you absolutely belong here! We all have different stories and backgrounds. I’m sorry your wife isn’t with you now, but it sounds like you are taking care of yourself and healing. I hope you will enjoy your experience here and lean in to all the support available to you!

      Hugs,

      Brielle

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604777
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 34
      Replies: 6131
      Has thanked: 11694 times
      Been thanked: 12437 times

      To you my condolences for your loss. She’ll always be with you be at peace and love being. Wonderful to have you here with us so relax and enjoy being part of a wonderful community of caring souls. Very nice meeting you.

      Stephanie 🌷

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604774
      Stephanie Bass
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 3468
      Has thanked: 49788 times
      Been thanked: 12337 times

      Hi Jay Nice to meet you and so happy you found and joined us girls here .. As for your wifes passing i feel for you and yes you need to be here as we all are very understanding and careing girls with a wealth of love and knowledge on dressing to help ease your girly pain .. If you get comfort from dressing then its ok as a stress reliever for many girls here like myself included as been married 38 years and wife is very supportive of Stephanie so sorry you missed out on the joys of wife helping you become the girl you need to be please look around and explore our site and ask many questions from all here as like othere have said you are more than welcome here and please stay in contact with us ..

      Stephanie bass

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604771
      Sylvia
      Lady
      Registered On: October 10, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 674
      Has thanked: 16793 times
      Been thanked: 2814 times

      Dear Jay ,
      I am so sorry for your loss this past year.
      I hope the new year can bring you some joy after going through
      a terrible 2021.
      I think you do belong here Jay !
      You said you were already having feelings for Feminine attire as a young boy ,
      and now these feelings have come to the surface again in a time of great need for you.

      Crossdressing is often also a stress relieve , and I think for you at this
      difficult time , it has come to help you carry on with your Life.

      So please embrace your dressing Jay.
      For now it is what you need , and when things are looking a bit brighter ,
      I wouldn’t be surprised that dressing will become a part of your Life that
      you will come to adore.

      Just know that all the Girls are here for you and support you.

      Welcome in our midst Jay , and as the other Girls already mentioned ,
      It is very possible that you are not here by accident.
      I have said it before here , and I believe it to be true more and more everyday ,
      hearing the stories of all the Girls that found this great place.
      I think we were all meant to be here…

      Love Sylvia.

    • #604755
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 92
      Replies: 5044
      Has thanked: 7274 times
      Been thanked: 12808 times

      Hi Jay,

      Welcome to CDH.  My condolences on the loss of your wife.

      I’ve met some sales associates at women’s apparel shops who have told me of customers who have lost a spouse and shop in their store.  So you are not alone.

      Alice

    • #604754
      Jennifer McCrennaugh
      Lady
      Registered On: July 18, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 183
      Has thanked: 2935 times
      Been thanked: 624 times

      I’m so sorry for your loss Jay. Everyone needs comfort. You’ve found some in dressing.  Nothing wrong with that at all. I think you absolutely belong here. Welcome.

      -Jen

    • #604751
      Amy Catrelle
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2022
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 104
      Has thanked: 349 times
      Been thanked: 535 times

      Hi Jay, I never know what to say when someone has suffered such a loss, but I’m sorry. I assure you that you are in the right place and that you do belong. You’ll also find that your story is not so different than most of ours here. Take a tour of the site and you’ll find numerous posts and articles that may be of use to you, and given time and healing you will find it’s a fun place to be too. Amy x

    • #604750
      Paulette Parfois
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 17, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 352
      Has thanked: 1050 times
      Been thanked: 1276 times

      Hi Jay, It is really your decision as to whether you belong, but pleae know this is a place where love and support is in abundance. Your reaction to your wife’s passing is understandable. Believe it or not it is not unusual. Anything we can do to feel close to a loved one is a very normal AND a very theraputic way to deal with grief. Now, as to whether dressing as a woman is something you feel good about is something only you can work out. I know from personal experience being Paulette has opened the door to better understanding myself and my interaction with others. I am sorry if I am coming across as “Dear Abby” but your grief is very apparent and I (and I am sure so many of the girls on this site) are here for you! Hugs, Paulette

    • #604749
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      I’m so sorry for your wife passing. I agree with a previous post that she’s looking down on you with loving support. I also get anxiety relief from crossdressing. And it’s non toxic! But it is habit forming for some reason. I’ve found that CDH has all kinds of “Anti anxiety Relief”. Hope you find it that way also! Dawn

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #604748
      Jane Mansfield
      Lady
      Registered On: December 27, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 226
      Has thanked: 365 times
      Been thanked: 803 times

      Hi J.
      A difficult time after your wife’s passing. I am sure she is smiling down on you. You cared for her during her darkest hours. She is saying to you dress as you desire. Have fun.

      Best wishes
      Jane

      8 users thanked author for this post.
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