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Hello from MN. I am James. I came out about a month and a half ago and shortly after that I talked to my wife about it. She is supportive and sees how happy and more secure in myself it has made me. She is having a hard time figuring it out and understanding it all. No, I am not dressing the way I want to because I want to keep her getting more comfortable with it. I do wear panties, no show bras and what she is comfortable with me wearing around her. I am trying to take it easy, which is hard. I want to give myself a female name but know my wife isn’t ready for that. Besides going at my wife’s pace, what else can I do to support and reassure her? I am also wondering how do you deal with body hair and tips for keeping it away for awhile?
Thank you
James
Welcome James. It is great that your wife is acceptable at this point. You are right to go easy and let her become more comfortable with your femme side. Body hair is a pain, I have had laser treatment, which removed only the dark hairs. I am currently doing some electrolysis which is extreme but only sure why to remove unwanted hair. I will let you know how that works out.
James, so happy to welcome you. Very new to all this your saying. Wonderful and congratulations. And on top of it opening to your wife. Quite an emotional and adventureses past month. As you have been mentioning your quite right about your wife and how’s she’s feeling. Certainly confusing and a shock for her finding out and her handling all of this. Now the talks will start, maybe in a day maybe in a week but be assured they will come. A good thing communication is vidal . You need explaining how you feel about this, in me and now with you. Where it at this time is it going and big questions Are you gay? Are you attractive for others? and many more. For me it’s been 2 years now since I started dressing and weeks later telling my wife after a very long marriage. For me TRUST was a major issue. As in many relationships. A bonding between two, suddenly broken by a dark secret. Hard on any one especially your significant other. But as you have mentioned take it easy, slow with small steps. Your doing it right making your wife feel eased in this. Underdressing, never putting out too much and always keep communication open. Keeping her in the loop and making her in control on any decisions moving forward. For me in my relationship that was key to her understanding about me and her comfortability in all this. Here at Cdh read our forums, there I myself learned so much and now enjoy bringing out more of stephanie with my wife allowing her side out more offern and always helping to make me better . Help is here for dressing, makeup, tips for hair removal and many other ideals to better ourselves in everyway . Very nice meeting you and enjoy your stay.
Stephanie 🌹
Stephanie,
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Thank you for your comments. My wife and I have had those questions and I have answered some of the same questions several times. I understand she needs the understanding and reassurance of my commitment to her hasn’t changed. Her main question is she isn’t sure how much she will allow. I have told her I understand and will do what she is comfortable. She surprised me this past weekend. (I bought a pair of jeans that fit me and she surprised with a bra that she was comfortable with me wearing around her. I have been wearing panties and sport bras around her. ) We had a get away and she allowed me to wear the bra, jeans and a pair of sparkly sandals (that I bought) to a shopping mall and festival. So, she is opening up. I have sent her a couple articles from CDH for spouses and she found them helpful. I too found them helpful to understand what she’s is going through. I look forward to using this site more. For now, I need to keep my patience and keep helping my wife.</p>
Hello James !
I am happy for you that your wife is some what accepting, that is wonderful. I’m kinda holding back a bit because I would like my wife to be on board with my femme side so I can understand how you feel about not dressing as much as you would like too. I have found that CDH has given me the opportunity to express femme feelings and thoughts and allows me to be mentally femme when I am on the site. There are plenty of others in similar situations and those who have moved passed these situations who can be consulted for advice, support and tips. I suggest you learn your way around the site, participate in the forums and the chatroom. Comment on anything you want to weigh in on. Don’t be shy, we are a pretty friendly group. Welcome
Hugs
Autumn
Autumn,
Sounds like we are sort of in the same situation. CDH has been a wonderful resource for me to and have sent my wife things from here to read. It has also helped me to understand what she is going through and why I feel the way I do. We will have to be each other’s sounding board through this time.
James
Welcome James, I recently came out to my wife of 30 years. The first couple of weeks were a bit difficult for her but fortunately for me she is a detail person and dives into anything she doesn’t understand. I lead her straight to the support for significant others that is part of a CDH. It has helped us tremendously. Good luck!
Hi James,
It makes me happy to know that you were brave enough to disclose this with your wife, and that she has accepted it.
I’m still a closet CD but I really admire those who have the courage to be open about it.
Nikki x
Hello nikki!
To tell my wife wasn’t easy. It was very nerve racking but knew it was something I wanted to do. I just found an opportunity when we were driving and we started talking about it. I left it at that and then found another time to talk about it some more. When I talked to her at first, I made it more of a general and then more specific as we talked more about.
Your wife my know more than you realize. When you do decide be honest and open. Ready to answer any and all questions.
James
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