23 years old and trying to find myself

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone. I’m a 23 year old crossdresser from the UK, the name I’m going with at the minute is Olivia but that could change. I’ve been dressing on and off since I was around 16 and have purged on multiple occasions feeling shame and guilt and being afraid of my family finding out about my feminine side as I still live with my parents. At first it felt like it was just a sexual type of thing but as the years have gone by I’ve felt like I need to dress and embrace my fem side, it’s more of a need than anything. I haven’t dressed in what is nearly a year and I’m feeling close to doing it again as I’m gonna be home alone for a week  I was hoping this was the right place to find support and make like-minded friends. I hope anyone can give me some advice as I’m still trying to find myself and figure things out. 

Total of 33 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.

Rachael Wanttobe, Stephanie Bass, Nadia Taylor, Marg Produe, Kim Dahlenbergen, Karen Allum, Janet Woodham, Jennifer Connolly, Leah, Liara Wolfe, Roberta Broussard, Leonara, April Sinclair, Stephanie Flowers, Katie, Stephie Terrill, Giselle Reeves, MissGracie, Paulette Parfois

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[Terri Anne]

Hello Olivia,

** Please Excuse the lateness  of this response to your post **

Welcome to our CrossDresser Heaven (CDH) site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore all that our site has to offer.

The Warmth, Compassion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.

Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on CrossDresser Heaven.

At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via Private Message (PM).  You can find that link on each member’s Wall under their Profile picture.

Also, you may find what you need from: The Help Center or our Ambassadors by using the links in the Top R/H Drop Down 3 bar Menu.

Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each. Such as Private Chat (PC), Groups, Additional Photo Allowance, etc.

****** https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/

Regards,

******

Terri Anne, Ambassador

======= Link to our Public Chat Room   ========

https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/chat/

[Stephanie Bass]

Hi Olivia nice to meet you and please accept my appoligisees he he i try to welcome every new girl here and some how you slipped thru my fingers so sorry.. So i want to tell you that as a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also..  Girl there is a wealth of knowledge here to access and learn from so look around and ask many questions of these wonderful ladies here telling there stories about there journeys down the femme road they are on..  When you get comfortable with us please join in with story or two about the life and times of Olivia as she travels down her own girly path in life..  Now girl as for making friends here there are so many ladies from all over the world to build long lasting friendships with and best of all girlfriend we are just a simple click away from you … Once again girlfriend nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime soon..

Stephanie Bass

 

[Kim Dahlenbergen]

Hi Olivia,

Oh to be young again and have the opportunity to start afresh.

For starters, this is your life, not your parents or anyone else’s, so try to keep that in the back of your mind. There really is no basis for feeling guilt or shame, but we all do. Some of us are lucky enough to get over that in time.

That being said, there isn’t any reason that you have to blow up your family relationships as you explore your gender identity and style. But the big thing in being able to live your own life is to find a way to live independently, in your own place and on your own income. Get that step taken and the rest will be much easier.

In the mean time, see if you can find friends your age that can help you find the place and opportunity to try things out. With few exceptions, nothing you try will be irreversible…. Clothes, makeup etc come off. But please avoid dangerous behaviors…some things like herpes or worse, HIV, never go away. Late night ventures in the wrong part of town can be immediately lethal!

Take care and have fun, but make good choices!

2 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Bass, Janet Woodham

[Karen Allum]

Hi Olivia,

Welcome to CDH. I have been crossdressing since I was 12 (over 50 years) and when I first started I also felt guilty and ashamed and was afraid of my friends and family finding out. The urge/need/desire to dress has never gone away and over the years I have come to accept that Karen is part of me and I enjoy being her whenever I have the opportunity.

I hope you have a lovely week alone exploring your feminine side.

Hugs, Karen

1 user thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Bass

[Janet Woodham]

Hi Olivia,

It is lovely to meet you. I am also from the UK. I went through the same thing in my teens and then for so reason it went away for some years except it never does.  Fear of family and friends finding out is something so many of us share together with the overwhelming need to be female. This site has been a tremendous help to me and I hope it will to you too.

Janet x

1 user thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Bass

[Jennifer Connolly]

First, welcome to CDH.  I wish that there was a site like this when I was 23.  My life might have been much different.  The only advice that I can offer right now, is to do it your way.  You are young enough that you will have time to decide what you want to do, and of course you can get advice here.  But, the desire to crossdress, although it can be suppressed, will never go away.  So take your time with all your decisions and enjoy yourself whenever you can.

2 users thanked author for this post.

Sandra Lasco, Stephanie Bass

[J J]

My advice is to just embrace the desires you have and explore them. See where they go, and how they make you feel. Dressing en femme is a surprisingly common thing, so you are not alone. Read up on dressing here and similar sites. There is a wealth of information out there these days, so it is much easier today then it was for many of us who began this journey long ago. It can to quite the challenge to figure out just where you land on this spectrum. Personally, I am just a guy who likes to wear feminine clothes. Others are fully trans, and many are somewhere in between. Some only underdress (I did for years others want to dress full time. There is no right or wrong, there is just you and how you choose to express yourself.

Enjoy the journey, it can be a bit scary, but also a lot of fun. Most of all, you are not alone, nor are you weird, but just a bit different then what society views as “normal”. What is normal, anyway???

2 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Bass, Leah

[Liara Wolfe]

Welcome to CDH.

1 user thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Bass

[Lola Caprice]

Olivia – such a beautiful name!

Yes, you have found the right place.  So many of us have been through very similar situations.  I first cross-dressed as an adolescent.  I would fake being sick to stay home from school so I could wear my mom’s clothes.  Everybody’s journey is different but whatever yours might be, you will find support here.

Welcome,

💖Lola

4 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Bass, Leah, April Sinclair

[April Sinclair]

Hello Olivia welcome to CDH I am glad you have opened up with us here sharing your struggle and desires to accept who you are you are sharing a part of who you are that most all of us have struggled or endured many times in our lives. I am glad you have found us and made the step to become part of a family that is welcoming, understanding, compassionate, and supportive. While we are all similar and have many of the same desires we all differ on our goals or public expression and or level of personal experiences. I encourage you to explore the many forums, topics, polls and member biographies found here as there are a wide range of members all over the spectrum of feminine expression or those on the path to transition and those that have. There are also links to websites that have products and services that may help you on your own personal path of acceptance and self expression. Ultimately it is a place, home, or world were you can feel feel comfortable and confident in who you are; as being who you truly are as your authentic self of you being a man, a woman, or expressing your feminine desires feelings and or qualities. I am happy you are here and have made a choice to accept this part of yourself as self acceptance is the most important thing you can do for yourself and others. You can’t expect others to accept you if you don’t accept yourself all of you. As you are sharing a part of your authentic self here on CDH it ultimately lifts some of the burden that you may be feeling which many of us have carried for what seems like a lifetime you are not alone. Being here helps not only yourself but helps others gain acceptance and confidence I am so happy you have made the step to be here for you to just be you! Welcome!

Hugs April

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Stephanie Bass, Leah, Leonara

[Stephanie Flowers]

Olivia

welcome. This is a beautiful place to be if your new to  this wonderful world. Meet many of our ladies who are always willing to offer their help and advice to help you be better understand this amazing feelings . Just ask your questions and many are happy to offer their help. To dress is such an exhilarating  experience and so much fun when you can share it with others . Enjoy your time here and know your among friends who really do care about each other and who we are.  Hugs

 

Stephanie 🌹

 

 

 

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Stephanie Bass, Leah, Leonara, April Sinclair

[Giselle Reeves]

best of luck on your journey Olivia, I can’t offer you advice just best wishes

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Stephanie Bass, April Sinclair, Stephanie Flowers

[Ashley Konners]

Welcome to CDH hun. I know all too well about the guilt and shame but in time you will come to terms with it. It isn’t a phase but part of who we are on the inside.  Reach out if you even want to chat.

6 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Bass, Leah, April Sinclair, Stephanie Flowers, Stephie Terrill, Roberta Lane

[Rozalyn Richards]

Hi Olivia welcome to CDH it’s nice to meet you we are like one big happy family on here so don’t be shy come on in and join the family, I’m a mature crossdresser I’ve been dressing most of my life since i was about 8 or 9 years old when i tried my older sister’s lingerie on, I’m a UK girl too I’m down in Shropshire, if it’s help and advice you need you have come to the right place we don’t judge anyone on here it’s a safe place for everyone, I’m sure there are lots of girls near to where you live who will be happy to meet up with you for a coffee and a chat I’m sure you will find lots of friends on here X 🎀

Hugs Rozalyn X 💋

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Stephanie Bass, Leah, April Sinclair, Stephie Terrill

[Roberta Lane]

Hi Olivia.Welcome to CDH.You have come to the right place.We are a friendly and welcoming bunch of ladies on here.We are all here for you for support and advice.

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Stephanie Bass, April Sinclair, Stephie Terrill

[Alice Underwire]

Hi Olivia,

Welcome to CDH.

Alice

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Stephanie Bass, April Sinclair

[Angela Booth]

You have come to the right place for support and help with your issues.

A lot of us are older but have gone through that stage at your age when things weren’t as open as now. There are common threads though in that you are finding yourself and that urge does not go away so is an indication of how you are seeing your future. What I can offer is  that be patient as telling parents is not an option for you at the moment but you could have some good friends or extended family who you know well and may consider telling and see where it goes. There are also many groups now that you can find online that offer help and support which you could reach out to.

What I found is that establishing this urge would not go away I then sorted out how I would deal with it and over a period of time I started the process of coming out. It is never easy but the other key thing is to keep focus on important things in life such as your career and commitments.

 

6 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Bass, Leah, April Sinclair, Stephie Terrill, Roberta Lane, Michelle Brown

[Lizzie]

Hello Olivia
After you have seen a lot of introductions here you will feel more and more that you are not crazy a little different maybe but certainly not alone.
Enjoy your week alone.

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Stephanie Bass, April Sinclair, Stephie Terrill, Michelle Brown

[Jackie Wilson]

and Im in Scotland – so happy if you like to be friends

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Stephanie Bass, April Sinclair, Michelle Brown

[Anonymous]

Thank you Jackie that would be very nice! I’m in the north east of England so not too far from Scotland.

 

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Stephanie Bass

[Jackie Wilson]

well although Im a “bit” older please keep in touch and as we are relatively near each other – who knows perhaps we could meet up at some point if and when you felt ready
there aren’t any venues anywhere near to where I live and I have only recently started dressing whilst in car on the way home and as it has been winter it was very discreet- I ,in my own option can look good dressed but wouldn’t pass and really not bothered by that- I just revel in wearing my clothes- in some ways I don’t distinguish my wardrobe(s) as I can wear what I like at home
so off to put on a dress etc and do some housework !

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Stephanie Bass

[Anonymous]

I have been full time girl 👧 since I was 9 till now. It’s something that doesn’t go away it is easier if you accept it. I am lucky my parents accepted it. Dealing with parents is a lot of the issues if you can get past that the rest is easy. You can get with the other girls 👧 and see what they say. Welcome to the site

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Stephanie Bass, April Sinclair, Michelle Brown

[Anonymous]

Thank you! I just know my parents would not accept it, especially my dad as he is very old fashioned and not LGBT friendly at all. It just feels impossible to let this side of me out.

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Stephanie Bass, Kathleen, April Sinclair

[Jackie Wilson]

HI – Im considerably older and appreciate your dilemma re family – but despite several purges , all of which I in retrospect regret – cos Id some lovely things Im now feeling that I wish Id been more confident and braver in my younger days and enjoyed the fem side of my personality
I moved towns to get away from family and to be in a situation where I could dress – abet still fairly secretly -and now that Im almost ancient compared to you I see many younger people being able to dress as they choice – ok not always without issue cos there remains many ignorant folk about but difference is embraced more positively and there are far more support opportunities – venues etc than Id ever been aware of as a young CD
Life can be a balance / compromise but its your life – do what you feel is best for you and be confident in your self- you deserve it
what clothes you choose to wear and what your sexual preference is or isn’t is your business
hugs and keep your passions and the fact that we can’t choose our families but we don’t need to be determined and constrained by their values ours are different –

hugs and I hope you find this group supportive and empowering

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Stephanie Bass, April Sinclair, Stephanie Flowers, Stephie Terrill, Michelle Brown

[Emily Alt]

Welcome to CDH Olivia!  I think you’ll find us to be a welcoming bunch.  Ready to lend a shoulder to lean on should you need it.

As you’re discovering, crossdressing is a need for many of us.  Being home alone for a week is a good opportunity to explore your feminine side.  You may learn a thing or two about yourself.

I’d also suggest you get into gender therapy if you aren’t already.  This will help you overcome guilt and shame, and make it easier to face your parents.

Best of luck. Hugs, Emily

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Stephanie Bass, April Sinclair, Stephanie Flowers, Stephie Terrill, Michelle Brown

[Anonymous]

Thanks Emily that’s really helpful advice. I feel like gender therapy isn’t a option for me at the moment.

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Stephanie Bass, April Sinclair

[Sarah Car]

Welcome to CDH , like you I am knew to this site but have been a crossdresser for over 40 years , I too had the feelings you describe but there is far worse things in life you could be doing , so let go of the shame and guilt and enjoy .And as you meet other friends on here you will realise that you are not alone. Like the name you have chosen .

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Stephanie Bass, April Sinclair, Stephanie Flowers, Stephie Terrill, Michelle Brown

[Anonymous]

Thanks Sarah for the very warm welcome!

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Stephanie Bass, April Sinclair

[Author]

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